Mid shite crisis continues. (now with 100% more MOT)

[Jim Bell]

Thank you all for the excellent suggestions in the Midlife Crisis thread.

 

I pondered them all and even had a few bids on Ebay.

 

Then I did a dirty shocker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behold!

 

A 2001 Vauxhall Astra. In rare* "assassin" silver. You dont** see many of these any more. Unless you open your eyes on any road.

 

Theyre as dull and anonymous as that bloke you had to talk to at that thingy that time.  If you ever need to assassinate someone, drive away in a silver Astra.  Nobody will notice you.  Theyre pretty much the ultimate urban cammoflauge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What it lacks in character, it  does make up for in sumptuous  velour, and is pretty well specced really.  Its a very comfortable place to spend a few hundred miles and runs like a Swiss fish.  Has real AC and some fake wood.  An LPG tank in the spare wheel cradle (external) means you can carry a full size spare in the boot (no well).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bad bits:

 

 

 

 

Thats about it.

 

 

 

Only took it on to help the old man out really, but theres not much to dislike in the thing that I can find.  I'll drive it for a bit until something more ridiculous presents itself.

 

 

 

WORST MIDLIFE CRISIS EVER!

[chaseracer]

Did you not fully understand the 'midlife crisis memo', Baz...?

 

[Jim Bell]

Did you not fully understand the 'midlife crisis memo', Baz...?

 

 

Sorry Sir, I'm easily lead and impulsive Sir.

Must do better. C -

[dollywobbler]

NICE NOB M8!

 

Once they disappear, I think folk will take more notice of the survivors. Not a bad looking thing really. Apart from the saloon. That was more gopping than Janet Street Porter in a mankini.

[chaseracer]

...more gopping than Janet Street Porter in a mankini.

 

Ian, I think your Random Simile Generator may have a virus...!

[purplebargeken]

Mid

Life

Crisis

 

Congratulations on ticking none of the above boxes. That takes some mega-skill indeed.

 

I have never had an Astra of any flavour. I salute you. I think.

[laser wheels]

Well if nothing else, those seats look comfy.

[Jim Bell]

Well if nothing else, those seats look comfy.

 

Agreed.

 

There really is nothing else.

 

Apart from doing 350 miles on £35 worth of EL PEE GEE, theres nothing of note or to recomend.  Cant hate it either though. That would be like hating a washing machine or stepladder.  No character,  but it works.

[Felly Magic]

You are a true shiteist. You can't get shiter than an old Vauxhall Ashtray in silver really

[UmBongo]

A good getaway car for armed robberies and whatnot.

 

Shame the plates are online as Mi5 and others can now track the Shitpeas bowel movements.

[Jim Bell]

 

Shame the plates are online as Mi5 and others can now track the Shitpeas bowel movements.

 

Good point.

I r not want to be cloned or have my poops tracked.

 

*pics edited with felt tip electronic pen.

[barefoot]

That looks dull and grim, well done.

Won't sort your MLC though.

[cort16]

You've done an end of life crisis instead

[Sloth in a bowl]

If you'd gone for a 2.2 coupe then I could have accepted the compromise a bit more easily, as it is, get back to sifting through the ads.

[loserone]

10p a mile.  That's pretty cheap motoring without going veg!

 

Still, as EVERYONE in your thread told you even after you ruled it out, what you need is a rusty imported MX5.

 

Have you fitted an appropriate bumper sticker yet?

[Jim Bell]

If you'd gone for a 2.2 coupe then I could have accepted the compromise a bit more easily, as it is, get back to sifting through the ads.

 

 

This is NOT the end of the road for my midlife crisis. Simply a diversion due to some old men in flat caps digging up the fast lane to lay new Redifusion cables.

 

Something proposterous SHALL be purchased.  Just delayed, but I'll get there. #britishrail

[Jim Bell]

10p a mile.  That's pretty cheap motoring without going veg!

 

Still, as EVERYONE in your thread told you even after you ruled it out, what you need is a rusty imported MX5.

 

Have you fitted an appropriate bumper sticker yet?

 

I dont really fit in MX5s. Which is a shame.

 

AVAS decal shall duly be applied.

[michael1703]

The first two pictures look like they were taken outside a mental institute... Quite apt considering you've dodged mid life and gone straight to coffin dodger territory

[hairnet]

corsaman pwns your mid life crises

 

this week anyway

[Jim Bell]

corsaman pwns your mid life crises

 

this week anyway

 

He are so Hells Angles.

 

I am so not as good.

[EssDeeWon]

We had a late MK4 Astra 1.4 as a company car quite a few years ago, I actually thought it was nice to drive and preferred it to the MK5 Astra's they started palming us off with, even the Corsa's were better to drive. As for the Vectra, that was proper dull. The MK4 Astra was my pick of the bunch.

[Felly Magic]

I know someone who might have a tidy Yugo 45 for sale, ideal mid life crisis mental person's Autoshitest's car

[Jim Bell]

I know someone who might have a tidy Yugo 45 for sale, ideal mid life crisis mental person's Autoshitest's car

 

I know someone that throws milk bottles at cats.

 

It doesnt mean I want to invest in it.

 

But put pics up anyway.

[Felly Magic]

Will do when he has confirmed he wants to sell it

[Split_Pin]

Rhombus Velour, nice. I've had my Coupe 9 years, can't fault it, 1.8 is quite nippy too. Hatch not for me though, prefer the Focus.

[rml2345]

I was fully prepared to snort derisively but that's a completely acceptable wheeled conveyance. It's the sort of car Alan Titchmarsh would buy during a mid life crisis.

[Jim Bell]

It's the sort of car Alan Titchmarsh would buy during a mid life crisis.

That's the best insult I have ever heard.

[HH-R]

The "Crisis" bit is definitely right, regardless of age.

[drum]

An LPG astra with plastic wood and rusty bits. Shame it's not auto.

[Ratdat]

I'd say driving a silver 13 year old Astra  IS a midlife crisis.