For Sale Worse than the Astra, you're even worse than the Astra. FOCUS FOR SALE.

[Cavcraft]

New depths plummed (plumbed?) yet again...


(Year) 2000 Focus 2.0 Ghia (petrol)

It's horrible

MOT 6th August

It's horrible

Taxed end of July

It's horrible

131,000 miles.

It's horrible

Starts, runs, drives, stops.

It's horrible

Electric windows

It's horrible

Alloy wheels

It's horrible

Had two new tyres in May

It's horrible.

Right, that's the 'good' bits out of the way.

It's FUCKING horrible.
Was a farmer's car and looks like it.
Two tyres are a bit shit.
He says it smokes a bit 'sometimes.'
Cleanliness is on par with a herd of Fresians with the shits who reside in Jordan's knickers.
Windscreen cracked.

It looks, and is by default, absolutely fucking horrible.

Can you make use of it or some of the bits*? Can you beat the scrapyard? Are you fucking mental?

Please answer yes to at least one of those questions, but answer yes quickly.

Logbook is here, but so was the will to live about an hour ago and that's long since jumped ship.


£150 (firm) can take it from Chester, Cheshire. Pretty sure it's worth more if you remove cat, battery and alloys and weigh the rest in.

*I'm not stripping it for bits, you can do that yourself at your place.

** You will be.

 

Oh, the stinging irony of the number plate

 

 

Buy it something please.

[beko1987]

Oof if I had the money that sounds like a project!

 

Sadly I don't so good luck with frag (glwf)

[greengartside]

WOW SUPA VALU! I would have been all over this like AUTO AIDS if I had the spare cash - a cliche I know but GLWTS Billy.

[chaseracer]

Stap me edgeways, that's GRIM.  Where do I sign?*

[Sloth in a bowl]

Despite it being horrible, Mk1 Focus means there will be a good drive under there somewhere.

Was shocked when I first drove a Focus how just 'right' everything could feel on a car at high speed.

 

If I drove a tidy one now I wouldn't be as impressed but it would still be good.

[Cavcraft]

Temp reprieve granted, but only because one scrapyard have offered more than another.

[sporty-shite]

To be fair, I don't think that's as bad as it looks. However, I'm not buying it unless someone wants to give me a load of money for one of the current chod-piles furnishing my drive.

 

GLWS M8.

[Cavcraft]

To be fair, I don't think that's as bad as it looks. However, I'm not buying it unless someone wants to give me a load of money for one of the current chod-piles furnishing my drive.

 

GLWS M8.

 

 

To be fair, it's probably worse.

 

 

Collect now, pay later scheme available to regular shiteists.

[Jim Bell]

 

Nautilus to surface support vessel, Nautilus to surface support vessel, come in over.

 

We read you loud and clear Nautilus, go ahead, over.

 

Our gauges may be malfunctioning, but the readings say we have sunk to a new and hitherto unexperienced depths. It may be an all time low, over.

 

Roger Nautilus. Can you see anything down there, over.

 

Roger that surface support vessel. Theres something down here. It...... It looks like a car. Or maybe it WAS a car. It hard to look straight at it. I feel sick. I think its giving me The Bends, and eyeball cancer. I'm turning off the viewing lights then I'll surface. Are you recieving the vid-feed from the external cameras, over?

 

Roger Nautilus. We have a visual. Stay where you are. The decision has been made to nuke the area. E.T.A two minutes, over.

 

Its not that bad!! It must be worth a hundred and fifty pounds!! More if you take the CAT, wheels and battery off!!! OVER!

 

No!

 

Over!!

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Good luck with the sail.

[Split_Pin]

That front indicator replacement is SCHAMAZEBALLS.

[Cavcraft]

The other front one is the same, only the offside one doesn't work. It's a horrible bastard of a car. 

[AlabamaShrimp]

What's the chance of it passing it's test?

[outlaw118]

To Mr A Shrimp.

 

Cavcraft pride themselves with the quality of stock they hold, just remember the Cavcraft Group motto.

 

"Want your money back? You can fuck off."

[AlabamaShrimp]

Lol some dick bought a civic coupe off me years ago and drove it straight down to Kent. Rung next day to say the battery was broken, he got a similar answer

 

Only asking as it's test short and I've a apparently go a picky wife how would moan the arse off me if I went and bought some heap that needed a ton of work.

[Tetleysmooth]

In all fairness, they do drive really nice.

 

It is is fucking horrible though.

 

Top marks Billy.

[twosmoke300]

Old foci are just terrible. Brake pipes , hoses , rust , suspension bushes , rear bearings , rust etc etc .

 

But for scrap money wcpgw.

[Cavcraft]

What's the chance of it passing it's test?

 

I'll say slim because I honestly don't know. It definitely needs two tyres and several thousand pounds worth of jet washing, then there's the fact it's smoking a bit, so the previous owner said.

 

I've pitched it at a touch over scrap money on the basis that if it does need too much work for the test, you could pull the battery, cat and alloys, weigh the rest in and sit square on the money front.

[Cavcraft]

I started this today and it smokes like a Benson & Hedges beagle on Bank Holiday bonanza bonus overtime. I'll run it to the scrappy tomorrow.

[greengartside]

Sad news, if the engine is borked then there's not much point in the rest of it.

 

R.I.P W509 UAV.

 

March 2000 - July 2014.

 

Lest we Forget....

 

[HH-R]

It's a shame, as it's worth buying for those MEGALOL indicators alone!

[Cavcraft]

[Partridge]

YOU BASTARD THIS PLACE ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE I DESPAIR FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS WORLD!! ITS ONLY WHEN ALL THE SHIT FOCUSES ARE GONE WILL PEOPLE LIKE YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING YOU BASTARD!!

[Doctormop]

Looking at those interior pics the scrapyard might be closed for the rest of the week while they have their crusher fumigated.

[Partridge]

Maybe the crusher will resign and lobby for Crusher's Rights.

[greengartside]

14 years - not a bad innings for a modern daily car. R.I.P.

[Partridge]

13 years is the mathematical average. So good going Focus, may you live a long and happy life as a can of beans or a microwave.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

So good going Focus, may you live a long and happy life as a can of beans

 

[Cavcraft]

Autoshite artist of the year 11/10 TYVM.

 

Now can you do an artist's impression of an Barry Shitpeas buying my Fiesta? It'd have to be one of those stood by the front passing cash with grinning faces. Maybe Barry has thought bubbles coming from his head with a picture of him driving down the sea front at Sunderland and I have a thought bubble with a picture of a topless Emma Bunton leaning out of the drivers window of a Mk3 Astra 1.4LS 3 door smiling.

[Partridge]

Autoshite artist of the year 11/10 TYVM.

 

Now can you do an artist's impression of an Barry Shitpeas buying my Fiesta? It'd have to be one of those stood by the front passing cash with grinning faces. Maybe Barry has thought bubbles coming from his head with a picture of him driving down the sea front at Sunderland and I have a thought bubble with a picture of a topless Emma Bunton leaning out of the drivers window of a Mk3 Astra 1.4LS 3 door smiling.

Can I have a go too?