eBay Lexicon

[Junkman]

That's one I would take issue with.  If I want something to replace the MR2 I really need to get the MR2 out first, as I don't have anywhere to keep it.  Who can justify having three cars in a two-person household, in a terraced street where another house also has two cars?  So it is possible that one could be true.  Although statistically, that translation could apply anyway.

 

YOO IZ DOOIN IT RONG YO

 

Ask Mr Bickle for instructions.

[eddyramrod]

Only in my choice of property.  Should have bought a rundown farm!

[Jim Bell]

That's one I would take issue with.  If I want something to replace the MR2 I really need to get the MR2 out first, as I don't have anywhere to keep it.  Who can justify having three cars in a two-person household, in a terraced street where another house also has two cars?  So it is possible that one could be true.  Although statistically, that translation could apply anyway.

 

Sorry, thats my fault.

I totally forgot that there are no other roads or streets anywhere, and that cars with tax and test can only be left in one specific place.

 

"Selling as I want a different car now" would at least be honest.

[chaseracer]

Rover STIRLING? Is that some sort of Scottish special edition...

No. It means it's been off the road for so long there's MOSS* growing on it.

 

See also: 'Head gasket done' (it's had OMFGHGF and been repaired on the cheap to get rid) and 'Honda engine' (no it isn't, it's a Kettle-series with more mayonnaise than Hellmann's)

 

 

 

* No reference to your name implied or intended. This post is sold as seen with no warranty. E & OE.

[drum]

Tax exempt, v5 present, can post, chassis rotten - this car doesn't exist anymore but if you want to ring your non-tax exempt car, bid away.

[Albert Ross]

New baby forces sale - Yeah, a 6 week old child with a Luger at your head....

First to see will buy - No they won't.

Never off roaded -  It's a Discovery........

Low mileage for year -  It spent 3 months of every year in a Main Dealer's workshop awaiting parts.

[dugong]

Sorry, thats my fault.

I totally forgot that there are no other roads or streets anywhere, and that cars with tax and test can only be left in one specific place.

 

"Selling as I want a different car now" would at least be honest.

 

In theory, you're right. 

 

Except I did this with the 460 Turbo and people on the street moaned about it \ damaged it repeatedly despite it never once of obstructing them and always being taxed, MoT'd and insured - which is more then can be said for some of the sheds they kept. 

 

Evil, curtain twitching sad cases. 

[Junkman]

Needs TLC - Should be bridged straight away.

[Charlie Croker]

I know what these cars are worth!.......................I am a arrogant bastard with a fairly nice car (usualy a "old skool" Ford) and its worth far more than the others "coz i say so".

[Jim Bell]

In theory, you're right.

 

Except I did this with the 460 Turbo and people on the street moaned about it \ damaged it repeatedly despite it never once of obstructing them and always being taxed, MoT'd and insured - which is more then can be said for some of the sheds they kept.

 

Evil, curtain twitching sad cases.

Park it in a different street?

[dave21478]

I saw "new baby forces sale" on an ad for a Calibra I was sniffing last night. Yeah, I can see that....its awkward to get into the back of a Calibra and would be a hassle with a baby seat. Then the next line was "swap for CBR600 or similar".

[Jim Bell]

^ Baby panniers ftw!

[dugong]

Park it in a different street?

 

Parked it in several streets. Same result. Sad the place I grew up in has gone so completely to pot. 

[eddyramrod]

When I bought the Vanilla Breeze Block it brought my total up to three, so I parked it in the next street until I sold the Cherry.  That was less than satisfactory, as all the streets around me are as terraced as this one, so wherever I park I might be in someone else's space.  Unlike at least 99.999% of the people I encounter in an average week, I'm considerate and don't like to put someone else out.  So, one-in-one-out until I can afford a property with space.

[rml2345]

^ That. I have the same problem except that dad has the other vehicle. Even a very small additional car in a crowded street is going to cause neighbourly grumpage and it's not worth the additional aggro apart from anything else.

 

Totally Unique - A complete death trap that the seller has cobbled together from filler, ply and bits of washing machine attached to something that may once have been a car/bike.

[EssDeeWon]

Another thing that pizzes me off is seeing adverts in February with photos of cars on a summers day with leafy trees in the background. WTF was that taken then, last weekend pal? What does it look like Now, Today, not fukcin last June after 4 hours of polishing!

[brickwall]

Becoming Rare - Very rare, apart from all the other ones that are for sale

[EssDeeWon]

Becoming Rare - Very rare, apart from all the other ones that are for sale

 

Reminds me of not too long ago, someone was selling their beloved VW Golf GTi Rivage on Ebay, they quoted 'there are only three left in the UK' which was hilarious because there were three on Ebay at that moment, plus a couple on Autotrader and another couple on pistonheads, so I couldnt resist emailing the seller and highlighting that there were currently about 7 for sale in the UK LOZ!!!

 

They did remove the stupid quote there after..

[Station]

The rather unnecessary and rather threatening text that is included in the ads for motor factors on ebay:

 

"Don't ask if it fits other cars! If it fitted other cars, it'd say so in the advert!"

 

All right!! Calm down!

[sheffcortinacentre]

unlike the one that keeps putting lorry brake discs on that "also fit  ford Cortina".

 

doudtful as there bigger than the wheel you twat.

[HH-R]

"Genuine reason for sale", unfortunately it being totally shafted is a genuine reason for selling too.

[Junkman]

"Don't ask if it fits other cars! If it fitted other cars, it'd say so in the advert!"

 

They even say this about Lucas 18ACR alternators, when they are exclusively listed for Minis,

and you want to buy one for your Rover P6 V8.

Verdict: Tossers.

[drum]

Have we had the "just testing the waters, seeing if there's any interest" plonker?

 

Translates to - I'm a time wasting knob who will only sell if you offer twice its value.

[mouseflakes]

Still has original spare wheel and tyre - never been used in 40 years! = You'll need to buy a new spare.

[Station]

Nothing more annoying than:

 

"I don't understand this computer malarky so PM me your email for pictures"

 

... or just host it on the many free image hosting sites out there and spend 10 seconds on figuring out how to 'embed' them on a forum. Jesus Christ!

[Bren]

Won a set of braided hoses for wife's fiesta, therefore doubling it's value.

 

I have been sent an italian made bmc sports air filter.

 

I am developing a twitch similar to the one Herbert Lom had in the pink panther whenever Peter Sellers entered the room.

 

I am really getting pissed off with ebay - just think - where else would go to buy something where the price keeps going up?

[Junkman]

Nothing more annoying than:

 

"I don't understand this computer malarky so PM me your email for pictures"

 

... or just host it on the many free image hosting sites out there and spend 10 seconds on figuring out how to 'embed' them on a forum. Jesus Christ!

 

I don't know many things that are easier than uploading pics to an Ebay auction - emailing them is more challenging.

 

Another favourite of mine:

 

Very original car - down to the oils and lubricants filled in by the factory, perished tyres, and still the first cambelt.

[Bren]

"NEVER BEEN WELDED" = I cant weld.

[twosmoke300]

No rust.

 

Correct , just the holes where rust used to be

[Charlie Croker]

Air-Con needs re-gassing = "I need gassing for the amount of lies ive told in this ad!!!"