Bristolshite

[Guest Breadvan72]

Bristols 412s are fugly as fugg.  They look much worse in real life than any photo can show.  Everything about the design is gash and terrible.  Perfect shiter waftbarge.

 

 

http://www.classic-auctions.com/UserFiles/pdf/375951979Bristol412Convertible.pdf

[Jim Bergerac]

The estimate is surely a misprint?

[Guest Breadvan72]

Not sure.  These cars are deservedly unloved.  410, 411, lovely.  412 - pile of cack.  

[Ghosty]

Call me insane, but I actually quite like how the 412 looks, it's beefy.

[srad34]

I think they look like a kit car, based on a big Jag as they have the longest bonnets in the wooooooooorld 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Whenever I see one (thankfully a rare occurrence) I have to stop and wonder at how goppingly ugly they are.  The photos flatter the heap.  

 

The later Bristles were OK - Brigand (daft name), Britannia and Blenheim  (all versions of the 603), but the 412 was a right Mare, I reckon.   All other Brstles costa spenner, but I might have to be paid to take on a 412.

[Richard]

How does that roof work?

[Guest Breadvan72]

The roof has a targa panel that unclips fore and aft and lifts out, and this one even has a sunroof within the panel.  The rear fabric hood folds down.  Same system as on a Lancia Beta Spyder, but that's a car that's good looking (I am biased).  

[HillmanImp]

If I ever win the lottery one of the first things I am planning on dong after picking up the cheque is popping down to the Bristol showroom and buying a car to drive back oop north in. 

 

http://www.bristolcars.co.uk/Present/Sales/

 

Currently it would be this:

 

 

I would entertain a Beaufighter but am currently suffering near terminal man flu and reckon it would be too draughty. 

 

The one up for auction will go for as little as £6k - £10k I reckon but they can sell for a bit more. The £1,500 is a joke to get people in isn't it? Saw one up for sale for £5k on car and classic last year that was a mega bargain.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Good choice Hilmanimp, but  I would be torn between that one and a spiffy 411 in a similar colour.

 

Bristol would not allow me to buy one of their cars because I am a common little oik who bought my own furniture, but as most Autoshiters are the bastard offspring of Viscounts, they'd be OK.

[HH-R]

I'd want one just for the cool name.

 

"What do you drive?"

"A Bristol Beaufighter."

[Junkman]

If the estimate is correct, it's cheaper than its engine and box usually sell for.

 

How does one pronounce "Beaufighter"?

[Volksy]

I'd say 'Bow-fighter'

[cort16]

They're certainly shite there's no doubt about that.

 

This.. is an abomonation though.

http://www.bristolcars.co.uk/Present/Sales/1993-Blenheim/

[mercrocker]

The funny names come from WW2 warplanes built at Filton by the Bristol Aeroplane Company.....

[morris_ital_lover]

Indeed, here's its winged namesake... A great plane, by most accounts.

 

 

 

I think owning a Bristol in some form is a necessity, they are totally ridiculous in a good way.

[wuvvum]

Same system as on a Lancia Beta Spyder

A car with which the 412 also shares its taillights.

[Sigmund Fraud]

I absolutely adore those boxy heaps, but I've never seen one for sale under £10K. They may be 'unloved' compared to, say, a 406 but I'm fairly sure that some tweed-clad, pipe-smoking gentleman will be willing to bid a distinctly non-Autoshite amount of money for this example.

 

Having said that, we can still dream ! One day, one day...

[Junkman]

I wouldn't hesitate for as much as a Millisecond to buy a Bristol 412 if it was in my financial reach.

If you want to see a really ugly car, look at the other 412 in automotive history:

 

 

And I want one of those as well.

[hairnet]

like they fell down a flight of stairs then got thrown out a third floor window

 

the 90s face lift wasnt as improvement

 

still would

[eddyramrod]

I absolutely would.  Not the dub, the one with the Detroit V8 up front.  Why is the front so long?  Because the spare wheel is stored upright in the NSF wing behind the front wheel!  How's that for space-efficiency!  It might not be very pretty but at least it isn't a bloated grey blob like everything else you're going to meet at Asda.  And who cares, tbh, you're going to be sitting in it listening to the engine, not standing around looking at it.  There's no way this will sell within even long-haul flight distance of the estimate, that's purely for temptation.

[anonymous user]

I suspect the estimate has a misplaced zero, £10k -£15k is more realistic even for a 412. I love the sunroof in the targa panel, now that's what I call eccentric(ok stupid and pointless). I have been tempted by them a few times, justifying it by thinking I wouldn't have to look at it if I was driving it. Sadly the times when I can justify spending on such a thing I never have a garage big enough to put it in so that I wouldn't have to look at it too much. Anyway I really want a 407.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I absolutely would.  Not the dub, the one with the Detroit V8 up front.  Why is the front so long?  Because the spare wheel is stored upright in the NSF wing behind the front wheel!  How's that for space-efficiency!  It might not be very pretty but at least it isn't a bloated grey blob like everything else you're going to meet at Asda.  And who cares, tbh, you're going to be sitting in it listening to the engine, not standing around looking at it.  There's no way this will sell within even long-haul flight distance of the estimate, that's purely for temptation.

Bristol drivers don't go to Asda. The local grocer delivers any foodstuffs that one can't shoot or grow oneself. They present an account at the end of the month,then after a few months,one posts a cheque to the said tradesman, in much the same way one would pay one's wine merchant or tailor.

[Squire_Dawson]

Did they also make Bristol buses or was that another firm?

 

A few years ago, I once had the pleasure of waiting at a level crossing with an early 1970's 411 first in line on the other side. Believe you me, when the barriers went up, this thing took off, without any drama whatsoever. What a fantastic car.

[gary_davidson]

I quite like it, at £1500 I deffo would, at £15,000 I deffo would be getting divorced

[eddyramrod]

Bristol drivers don't go to Asda.

 

This one would!  Here speaks, remember, a man who used to park his Cadillac on the cross of four spaces at Tesco (as far away from the store as I could get so I didn't get doors opened into mine etc.).

[Felly Magic]

This will be cheap for a very good reason, I can easily predict five figure sum repair bills for it, and looking at that £100 pop up sunroof, I suspect it's been neglected in its life. The reg alone is probably worth a fair few hundred to a grand, so deep down, I have a feeling it's mullered.

[Junkman]

You know, I can live with this:

 

And I can live with this, too:

 

 

No, honestly, I can.

 

I'm fairly convinced I could also pretend there still is an Empire, I always wanted to be in a position that allows me to address women up to my age with "young lady" and I also always wanted to shout "HOW MUCH???" when being charged for my cream tea.

 

I could also live thinking other people assume I was accepted as a customer by Tony Crook.

Yes, I bloody well could do all that.

[Lord Sterling]

They're certainly shite there's no doubt about that.

 

This.. is an abomonation though.

http://www.bristolcars.co.uk/Present/Sales/1993-Blenheim/

These bother me in that they've obviously built quite a nice car but shod it with cheap Halfords wheels and Vauxhall Senator rear lights which don't look bad themselves but it looks like an afterthought.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

His Lordship mentioning the rear lights ,set me to a fascinating* investigation of which lights Bristol have used on basically the same car .

Lucas individual lamps as used on Land Rovers amongst many others

Pretty sure these are Hillman Hunter .

The aforementioned Senator and the preceding style. I think Bedford CF facelift.

The final ones ,I didn't recognise and had to google. Surprised where they'd come from and suspect this was after Tony Crook had any input.

Any guesses?