Autoshite cliches, myths and old wives tales...

[HMC]

Re the Spanish Vectra - 130 is believable in kph ( assume it was a rental car with a km speedo)

 

Mind you, there's not much that can touch a typically driven hertz Vectra in a hurry

[Mr Lobster]

Sadly it wasn't in kph according to the chubby lad telling the tale - it was his own car and he'd driven down there for some reason or other. 

[RedSparrow]

You just reminded me of a bloke I used to work with who was a compulsive liar. There was usually one massive corker of a lie each day, one of which was that his Citroen BX could easily reach 200mph.

[drum]

I knew a lad like that. He knew it was time to give up bikes when he found himself hanging on to the grab rails, legs and feet horizontal, at 160mph just for thrills. Knob.

[155V6]

I remember one from the '70s,if you buy a Rolls-Royce,you're not allowed to modify it

[inconsistant]

Reassembly is the reverse of removal.

[Felly Magic]

'One careful Dutch owner'..Yeah Hertz Van Rental 

[Split_Pin]

I worked with someone who had a very rotten Mk 2 Escort which he said had a 1300 stock car engine in it. I outran it in my mum's 1.3 Endura E Fiesta 1.3 and he said it was because he was in the wrong gear. He did buy a mint RS 2000 a few years later though.

[Vince70]

How about the one that the Mk3 Escort van was so quick with the option of a 1.6 CVH that it was soon dropped as it showed up the XR3.

 

And there was a 1.6 laser van which was quicker than an RS turbo because it had white hubcaps and a body-stripe.

 

But I think its a fact that the MK1 Astra Van was so fast that if you didn't have a cement mixer and 2 ton of tools in the back plus a stash of porn mags under the seats and 200 empty packs of B&H on top of the dash and an overfilling ashtray it would take off at 67.8 mph.

 

And it had been designed by the rocket scientist Wernher von Braun and it still holds the M25 land speed record.

 

I may of made that one up..

[Cavcraft]

'If you break down in a Rolls Royce they come in a covered transporter to take it away'

 

 

I really did get from Chester to Carno once in about 1 hour, 15 minutes in a 7.5 tonne van, which is mind boggling really.

[saucedoctor]

^ My next door neighbour's Prius (terminally) shat itself, and the main dealer sent an unmarked recovery vehicle on a Sunday night. The Pious was covered up and taken away. Neighbour got a brand new car (another Pie-Ass).

[brickwall]

In general:

 

Random stranger : "Great cars those."

 

No they're not.

[simmo]

'If you break down in a Rolls Royce they come in a covered transporter to take it away'

 

 

I really did get from Chester to Carno once in about 1 hour, 15 minutes in a 7.5 tonne van, which is mind boggling really.

 

There was a Rolls Royce one that was doing the rounds when I started in the motor trade, I think it is supposed to happen in the 50s or 60s.  Chap breaks down in his Roller with a broken half shaft, the car is recovered via a covered  unmarked truck.  After a couple of days the car is delivered to his house repaired and  fully valeted, after a few weeks matey phones the dealer saying he's yet to receive an invoice.  The garage are baffled and  explain that Rolls Royce don't break down sir, you must be mistaken.

 

Also one for Junkman to confirm or myth-bust, a F1 stock car was built and raced with a RR grill on it and after a few meetings got a letter from RR threatening about copyright or WHY.

 

Lastly this one may be true in part,  when Jerry Anderson was doing the prep work for Thunderbirds he ask RR if he could use the RR grill on Lady Ps car, they agree but insisted on designing the car themselves.

[Junkman]

I remember that RR grille on Stockcar F1 Story and believe it's actually true. A similar thing allegedly happened in Holland, where someone used a Mercedes grille on his (which is phakt). The story then is, that Mercedes of The Netherlands wrote him a nasty letter asking him to stop doing that, or they will let their legal rottweilers off the leash. So he wrote to Mercedes headquarters in Stuttgart, who responded that they have absolutely nothing against it. Could be true, could not, I don't know.

 

Re. 1.8 Vectra doing 130 in Spain - the claimed top speed is 128, so an indicated 130 is plausible.

However, if he hit that speed in Spain for a mere millisecond, he'd be still in prison, let alone making it from Santander to Madrid.

[oman5]

didn't that guy who built "the beast" (that rolls royce merlin v12 engined thing) in the '70s have similar issues? he put a rolls grille on it and I think got taken to court by the company

[fordperv]

^ iirc he turned up at the court in the car causing commotion

 

the "nicole" "papa" on the clio campaign idea was found whilst one of the advertising staff was watching a porn movie where 2 masked people were having sex and when the masks came off the dialogue that came was ......... nicole.......papa

[oman5]

^ iirc he turned up at the court in the car causing commotion

 

the "nicole" "papa" on the clio campaign idea was found whilst one of the advertising staff was watching a porn movie where 2 masked people were having sex and when the masks came off the dialogue that came was ......... nicole.......papa

That would be hilarious if it were true! ROFL!!!

[Negative Creep]

didn't that guy who built "the beast" (that rolls royce merlin v12 engined thing) in the '70s have similar issues? he put a rolls grille on it and I think got taken to court by the company

 

 

And supposedly he passed someone on the Autobahn who immediately rang Porsche wanting to order this new model?

[Grundig]

All Vtecs are fast !!

VTEC = Turbo lag, without the turbo

[dieselnutjob]

I got from Bishops Stortford to Sheffield in 2 1/4 hrs once in a 1.0 Austin Metro. Apparently it needed a new cylinder head or something afterwards.

[simmo]

I remember that RR grille on Stockcar F1 Story and believe it's actually true. A similar thing allegedly happened in Holland, where someone used a Mercedes grille on his (which is phakt). The story then is, that Mercedes of The Netherlands wrote him a nasty letter asking him to stop doing that, or they will let their legal rottweilers off the leash. So he wrote to Mercedes headquarters in Stuttgart, who responded that they have absolutely nothing against it. Could be true, could not, I don't know.

 

Re. 1.8 Vectra doing 130 in Spain - the claimed top speed is 128, so an indicated 130 is plausible.

However, if he hit that speed in Spain for a mere millisecond, he'd be still in prison, let alone making it from Santander to Madrid.

There was a UK FI Stock that had a Merc grill as well, before we used to go and watch Autosport (I think) did a feature on Ian Ireland and either his car or one of the other cars photoed in the Mag had the Merc grill.

 

I don't think Vauxhall would of had an issue with the lad that had the Nova cabbed FI car with the Nova 7.5 logo on the back.

[Junkman]

Mercedes grilles obviously weren't too uncommon in the 70s.

 

[Cavcraft]

Jaguar XJS V12:

 

If you put the engine back in and can see the ground underneath, you've forgotten something.

 

If put a 50p piece on it's edge on top of the engine whilst it's running, it won't fall over.

 

Ferrari said they would take years to make an engine as good.

[Lankytim]

Another Jag V12 one.... It's a scaled down Rolls Royce Merlin.

[simmo]

NASA spent a fortune getting a pen to work in zero gravity.  The Russians used a pencil

[fordperv]

And supposedly he passed someone on the Autobahn who immediately rang Porsche wanting to order this new model?

I thought the guy supposedly rang rolls royce????

[Inspector Morose]

Trabbis are made from compressed cardboard.

[Stroller133]

I "believe" that I have a bit carbon fibre from Micheal Schumachers Ferrari in which he broke his leg at Silverstone. I hope I am not a complete knob as I would never claim it as fact and realise it sounds unlikely.

[Pete-M]

A 50p piece WILL actually balance on the inlet manifold of an idling Impreza WRX. I did it with mine. Very strange listening To the uneven burble when the engine is actually very smooth when it's running right.

[morris_ital_lover]

Indeed, pencils are useless in space because the fine graphite particles that come off when you're writing and turn the electrics all "Lotusy"