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Posted

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"What's Dat, dad?"

"Dat, sun, is a Mitsubishi Zero. Look the pilot's waving! Wave back and he might do some aerobatics. Oh look; he's diving now..."

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Posted

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The fella is taking the brochure title a little too literally.

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Posted

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Volvo depict a dystopian future for mankind with human beings so irradiated that they literally glow and require sunglasses to look at one another.  The only unaltered survivor in this hellish future is Volvo's own 240 saloon available only in the colours of cockroaches.

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Posted

 

 

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Hey Theresa... HIGH FUCKIN' FIVE for the vinyl roof, quad lamps and Granada Ghia alloys!

 

 

...miserable bitch!

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Posted

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Brenda was shocked by the ferocity of her new Volvo's heating system.

"When I left the house I had a duffel coat and a set of thermals on and now they've melted clean off me!"

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Posted

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The upper fifth form were keen to get a good look at Mr. Throgmorton's new car....
"Gosh, I hope it has a well soundproofed boot" quipped Jennings, "Yes, and nice soft grab handles so I don't get blisters when Sir ties my ankles to them" added Fripp Jnr.

Posted

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The sunburned woman is decidedly unimpressed as she finally realises what inspired the design of those weird Volvo 80's head restraints.

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Posted

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Greedy Yorkshire farmer makes use of YTS to get free labour on his farm and ease the payments on his new status symbol Land Rover while bragging to his neighbour about how he's the first person in Castleford to have one of them new fangled four wheel drive vehicles instead of the old nag and trap.

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Posted

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Its time to go it alone Daphne,

Tims with me.
Jons with me.

Roberts with me...

 

Theres just one thing darling  - the car will have to go back.....

 

Her - Thank fuck for that - we cant have a top executive company director driving a crappy piece of French shit like this.

Posted

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The great thing bout care in the community said Noreen, is they allow me out to go to Aldi shopping on my own every Thursday....

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Posted

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....thought Peter Hamilton-Smith as he stood in his yard one day reminiscing about his other car, a Rover P5B.

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Posted

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"If I could breed horses as well as Rover built cars, I'd guarantee a winner everytime. But only if the race was for the first horse to have it's legs fall off."

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Posted

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Formula 1 hit particularly hard times following Bernie Eccleston's indictment and susbequent imprisonment...

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Posted

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This'll do Jane thought Chris, a nice used AX for the school run and popping to th edry cleaners in...

 

Jane thought, th etight bastard, he could at least have stretched to that XR2i. Still what he doesnt know is Im emptying th ebank account and planning to run off to Brighton whilst secretly nobbing his brother with the bigger willy.

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Posted

$(KGrHqMOKj8E6,tKd1CVBOmtoSzT5!~~60_12.J

This'll do Jane thought Chris, a nice used AX for the school run and popping to th edry cleaners in...

 

Jane thought, th etight bastard, he could at least have stretched to that XR2i. Still what he doesnt know is Im emptying th ebank account and planning to run off to Brighton whilst secretly nobbing his brother with the bigger willy.

I don't wish to seem like any more of a twat than everyone already thinks I am, but isn't that a ZX? Either way, it probably has little effect on his willy size...

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Posted

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"Wasn't the car white before we parked at the beach Ken?"

 

"Welcome to the wonderful world of oxidisation my dear."

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Posted

... ruined by American automotive safety regulations.

Posted

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Bye love, I'm sorry your leaving me because you didnt like the car I bought for you, but its all I could afford. I've got a Jag to run a house to pay for for christs sakes.

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Posted

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This kids, is what happens when you don't pay attention at school.

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Posted

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Creepy bloke with mk2 Escort - Excuse me, Mr Headmaster, I am that boys "uncle". My "sister" asked me to "pick up" that boy as she is a little..er..."unwell" at the moment, can I take him to "see his mum"?

Posted

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Well, they do say that the bigger and brasher the car, the smaller the anatomy....

Posted

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Creepy bloke with mk2 Escort - Excuse me, Mr Headmaster, I am that boys "uncle". My "sister" asked me to "pick up" that boy as she is a little..er..."unwell" at the moment, can I take him to "see his mum"?

 

Taxi for a mr savile guvner...

  • Like 1
Posted

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He: The Financial Times here says our shares hit rock bottom. Honey, if you'd learn how to prepare meals, we could make the cook redundant.

 

She: Darling, if you'd learn how to fuck, we could fire the chauffeur.

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Posted

Oh someone please do something with this one.

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The producer gathers the girls around to talk them through the story board for next ad in the successful Bodyform campaign.   

Posted

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Creepy bloke with mk2 Escort - Excuse me, Mr Headmaster, I am that boys "uncle". My "sister" asked me to "pick up" that boy as she is a little..er..."unwell" at the moment, can I take him to "see his mum"?

 

So we agree Headmaster we are both in favor of good grooming. 

  • Like 2

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