Your Shite Room 101

[Swampy21]

THIS..............

My dad had one in a particularly foul orange colour and it was AWFUL.

He finally killed it by shoving the clutch through the rotten bulkhead on a very wet bank holiday in Manchester.

Oh, how we laughed................

[The Moog]

Volvo.V40 boring, bland uninspiring underpowered, not big enough to be a proper volvo estate...so horrible I had two because missus liked them. and she doesn't like driving.... says it all

 

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[John F]

American vehicles.

 

Enormous, loud, wheezing, gluttonous, uncouth and massively overstated. Just like americans themselves.

[Station]

I had a 1994 Mercedes E220 and found it (excuse the motoring journalist term) 'uninspiring and soul-less', but wasn't that bad. I didn't like the airy spaciousness of the cabin, which is why I can't like the mk3 Mondeo.

I hate Fiat Ulysse's, my dad had one and I hated it - unlike his previous Estima which I thought was pretty good. Had horrible plasticky interior - do Italians have double jointed feet? Because the pedals where positioned in such a way.

[chaseracer]

PS: by contrast, the MG Midget is a car of 100000% raw WIN.

 

Wouldn't know, as I am a fat bastard and have never been able to fit in one.  Oddly enough, the Triumph Spitfire was amply roomy.  Go figure, as they say.

[Hertz]

These things really piss me off, what is the point of them? In fact I hate them more than Liam Gallagher.

 

[stilo_active]

In another thread i may have said not all French stuff was bad, which in my experience is true. However, there is always an exception. My 101 would have to be the Shitroen C3 - the first version.

 

My wife had one from new. It had styling that only looked marginally acceptable if you were wearing beer goggles, electric power steering that, when it worked, had all the feedback and communication of a deaf monk that had taken a vow of silence and an engine note not too dissimilar than that of a wasp I a jam jar. The interior was made from tracing paper, tissues and deep depression. The exterior was made from butter and jam rags and it had the handling ability of an epileptic hippopotamus. The gearbox was made from cheese and golden syrup and proceeded to implode at 6 months old and 3,000 miles.

 

It threw more tantrums than Elton John. If it was cold or wet it had trouble starting. My '88 AX that we had at the time was more reliable. Bits of trim fell off, the power steering kept failing, kept loosing power and the misfiring and cold start problems were ridiculous. The ECU had more fucking updates than Cliff Richard's face. We sold it after 18 months and bought a Fiat Stilo, which incidentally was a paragon of reliability.

[AnthonyG]

All 'series' Land Rovers. Great off-road (when they are working), horrific on-road.

[brickwall]

^ Burn him at the stake.

[John F]

All 'series' Land Rovers. Great off-road (when they are working), horrific on-road.

 

Disagree! You just have to adapt your driving style to what you're driving. And if it's a Series, this will be SLOW, by 'car' standards. And draughty. And a bit wandery above 45 mph.

[SambaS]

some 90s most 00s and 10s cars. Fuck em.

[Pete-M]

FWD Vauxhalls. All of them. Every single one. 

[Cavcraft]

In another thread i may have said not all French stuff was bad, which in my experience is true. However, there is always an exception. My 101 would have to be the Shitroen C3 - the first version.

 

My wife had one from new. It had styling that only looked marginally acceptable if you were wearing beer goggles, electric power steering that, when it worked, had all the feedback and communication of a deaf monk that had taken a vow of silence and an engine note not too dissimilar than that of a wasp I a jam jar. The interior was made from tracing paper, tissues and deep depression. The exterior was made from butter and jam rags and it had the handling ability of an epileptic hippopotamus. The gearbox was made from cheese and golden syrup and proceeded to implode at 6 months old and 3,000 miles.

 

It threw more tantrums than Elton John. If it was cold or wet it had trouble starting. My '88 AX that we had at the time was more reliable. Bits of trim fell off, the power steering kept failing, kept loosing power and the misfiring and cold start problems were ridiculous. The ECU had more fucking updates than Cliff Richard's face. We sold it after 18 months and bought a Fiat Stilo, which incidentally was a paragon of reliability.

 

Plus you can substitute 'Shitroen C3' for 'Vauxhall Corsa C 1.0' to describe the very same car.

[Rocket88]

The original Mini. Proof that you don't need to actually be any good to be popular. It's the automotive equivalent of the Spice girls. It was horribly compromised by a horribly stubborn designer who refused to listen to anyone else, cost BMC a fortune and pretty much failed to make any profit durings its very lengthy career. It's seen as a 20th Century great by some people - why? It was rubbish! 

 

Novanick - I suggest you hold fire on your 2CV slating until you're actually old enough to drive one.

Thank fuck.................I always thought it was just me! That Turkish bastard wants digging up and burning for foisting this small pile of steaming excrement on the motoring public. The British motor industry was doing just fine building automotive porridge until this donkey fondling git persuaded people who should have known better that this was " the future". Unfortunately for all of us, he's been proved right, and now we all have to drive around in foul front wheel drive shite. 

[Brent_Crude]

+1 for the Xsara Picasso. Utter cunt of a car, almost exclusively driven (badly) by the dregs of humanity.

 

If I were allowed a second, it would the early Merc ML's, which were dreadful to begin with and now they all appear to have fallen into the hands of a sub-species of the human race that is so backwards, that even Attenborough would struggle to find anything meaningful to say about them.    

[mcqueenmachine]

another one just by the looks the citroen ami, i dont like the way it looks

 

 

Hmmm, I don't think I like the direction this forum is going in . There was a time, round these parts, when such a statement would have been unthinkable 

 

I blame the young people. And the rap singers, obviously

[messerschmitt owner]

Hmmm, I don't think I like the direction this forum is going in . There was a time, round these parts, when such a statement would have been unthinkable 

 

I blame the young people. And the rap singers, obviously

Well, I for one like the Ami (6 over 8 ) exactly because of the way it looks!

 

But then again, I have owned and driven the truly ugliest and shitiest of all cars.

[dollywobbler]

All 'series' Land Rovers. Great off-road (when they are working), horrific on-road.

 

Actually, they're not that great off-road, suffering as they do from pretty poor axle articulation. Truly boggles the mind that after creating something as good as the Range Rover, it took the best part of 13 years to get around to putting Rangie underpinnings under a 'proper' Landy. Thanks British Leyland!

 

Judging a car purely by looks seems a bit harsh. The Shitness of a car comes from how it drives and behaves. Apart from the Ssang Yong Rodius perhaps. And those BMW X6 things. And the Pontiac Aztec...

[messerschmitt owner]

Well, the PT Cruiser in all its horrible variants (from petrol to diesel and bog standard to flames up the side with Lambo doors and  playing La Cuccuracha) gets my vote, not just for the car itself but for the idiots that drive them.

 

I am going to be contentious and say Protons too - a car obviously designed by a man with only a ruler - still common where I live and invariably driven by the automotive equivalent of Ebeneezer Scrooge, the dirty old man that wets himself and hasn't changed his kegs in about fifteen years and that smelly old bag lady in front of you at the Post Office all rolled into one. But only the J Reg ones.

[Pete-M]

+1 for the Avensis. Dull, bland, boring cars that are very competent but no fun whatsoever. They're easy to drive without being in any way memorable or enjoyable.

 

They're quiet and pretty reliable. That's about it.

[brickwall]

I remember load of folk rushed out to buy the PT and they were everywhere. They then realised that the car was total guff...

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Last American car show I went to had a fleet of PT Cruisers. 

 

THEY DON'T COUNT!

[brickwall]

I'd be to embarressed to take a PT to an American car show.

[Junkman]

I want to take a Neon there.

[Mr Lobster]

+ 1 on the PT Looser.

 

May I humbly suggest the following -

 

Daewoo Lanos. Horrid, slow, cheap, nasty with no redeeming features whatsoever. No effort went into making it look nice, be an engaging drive or a pleasant place to be. Steering wheel always felt to be made of the nastiest grade of plastic they could find and was deeply offensive to my hands.

[v8 scania]

I always wish I'd been driving a Cummins engined 45. They were loads quicker and loads more reliable. The 6 banger Ivecos were pretty fast but a MAN or 45 would wipe the floor with the Iveco. I know as I spent years racing the f*ckers and not getting close to them. Also everyone I talked to who had or drove 45s loved them.

[/quoi I drive a cummins powered lf at the mo talk about underpowered its only got to see a hill a mile away and it and I starts to struggle and as for the 18 ton eurocargo automatic don't get me started on that god forgiven gearbox

[Cavcraft]

(Don't look, Gary)

 

Fiat 126:

What a pile of wank. Noisy, slow, unreliable to an extreme, absolutely ZILCH build quality, cramped, nasty and fucking rubbish all in one little package. if you haven't had the pleasure* of owning one then just set fire to a few hundred in quid in cash before putting your pile ridden arse into a circular, table mounted chop saw.

[Wilko220]

A Cars 'n' Girls, just for you...

 

[Cavcraft]

See, even the Railway Children laugh at 126 owners.

[Formula Autos]