Roverjoyed. ABS woes resolved, MOT? Completed it mate (Rover 800 content)

[RoadworkUK]

Sorry Trig! Life's hard! Never mind. It's mostly bollocks anyway.

[RoadworkUK]

Rightoh.

 

Your help, please, Gentlemen, with my continued effort to clear the decks and move house. Same deal as before; everything's buckshee, he who actually wants it and arrives at the door first is the winner.

 

Today I'm giving away my Auto Express collection. This has thinned over the years to what it is now, a few dozen issues from '90 to '93 (ish?).

 

 

There's plenty of interesting* articles therein, though, and I had to struggle to discipline myself not to just stop and read them all again. Take 'em away. As a bonus there's a substantial tome called "Oldtimers" I bought in Germany in '07. It's basically a classic car encyclopedia / price guide with lavish colour pictchas and information, going through ordinary post '45 to early '80s stuff and chronicling a fair proportion of the wierd shit you find in Europe. 'Course, it's in German, like, but beggars can't be choosers.

 

As usual, there's a caveat: If you want the mags and the book, you have to take these, too:

 

 

This is a MENSA alarm clock/radio. It's utterly superb, but alas for whatever reason my other half doesn't see the appeal. You can use it as a normal alarm, of course, but in MENSA mode it plays you a sequence of coloured lights, which you then have to memorise and enter back in to silence the buzzer. How fucking frustrating is that?! Brilliant!

 

 

And this is a USB Rocket Launcher. It works, certainly on my Windows Vista laptop of ages; you control it with the cursor keys and press fire, whereupon it launches the safe soft foam projectiles, one at a time, slightly less far than you could have thrown them. GR34! Fun, anyway.

 

Come 'n get 'em.

[Woody]

U hav pee-emm

 

[jakebullet]

£8.50 for the cheapest missile launcher on ebay

 

Must resist urge to bid.

[ashmicro]

There's some cool USB stuff on this site below

 

http://www.red5.co.uk/

 

I slipped one of these calculator's into a mate's office

http://www.red5.co.uk/gadgets/desktop-t ... lator.aspx

[RoadworkUK]

£8.50 for the cheapest missile launcher on ebay

 

Must resist urge to bid.

 

If only I could be even slightly bothered. I'm missing out on earning actual coin!

[RoadworkUK]

Since Lord Sterling has established that it's open season on 800s, I thought I might upload some historic pics onto my own thread of Roverness.

 

I wish the digital camera had been invented earlier, as there must be dozens of photos of my cars that never made it to Truprint. By the time I had the ability to spray a camera at it, we were near the and of our relationship. Not to worry, It was good while it lasted; very very good.

 

As with R227NOJ, my GradFATHA had spared literally no expense on the upkeep of E193GHJ before it became mine; there were areas on the bootlid where the laquer had been worn away through over-zealous polishing. Inspired by my Dad buying a V6 Mondeo, he went straight out and bought a V6 Rover (which would become mine in ten years time, of which I had no idea.)

 

Here the two are side by side; E193 GHJ having been mine for a few months at that point. I'd already changed the wheels for a set that allowed the car to go around corners with some degree of accuracy. I thought they looked awesome. To be fair; they did.

 

 

I had E193GHJ from '99 through 2005, then "company car forces sale". In that time all the regular M16 engine oddnesses had popped up at one time or another. Soon after I took stewardship I found out about the ECU and its total lack of a memory of any kind, should you disconnect the battery, next time you start the engine it would either be a bag of shit or smoother that in your wildest dreams. Also, about three years in, I became aware of a cool oil and water mark patination appearing wherever The Rover was parked.

 

Head gasket, OBVS. Shame it did't let go in an apocalypic cumulonimbus cloud of doom, it just gently prodded me in the ribs every now and again. I was at loonyversity at the time and even took it to a few places in Cov to get advice. Every single person I asked was a miserable bastard and quoted £all the money I'll ever have to get the job done. DIY then. FATHA RWUK and I did it between us; well, mostly him if I'm honest, I had to bugger off back to Coventry to do more high-level colouring in.

 

This was what it looked like.

 

 

The gasket had almost corroded away completely between the third and fourth cylinders, and wouldn't have lasted much longer at all.

 

 

While the head was off we gave it a bit of a de-coke, and some rudimentary (and probably ill advised) "gas flowing" around the ports. No idea if it was effective In Real Terms, but whatever placebo effect it had, it certainly seemed to fly when we got it back together.

 

 

Datestamp on this puts it during 2005, towards the end of the time I had it. I'm wearing the now legendary "Earl" GM Goodwrench spannering shirt. I remember this; I was changing the front pads; the outside pads had literally nothing left, despite the pad warning light never having come on.

 

I remember I was painting the o/s/r wheelarch, listening to Mark and Lard on Radio 1 (Now defunct, I believe) when the planes hit the twin towers. All work on the car stopped; that remains my excuse for the repair I effected never being as good as it should have been.

 

I got my first company car in 2005 (116i Sport!) and, thanks to free Pez, I hardly drove the Rover from then on. I kept it MOT'd, Tax'd and Insur'd, which was mental considering that it covered 13 miles in total between the last two MOTs. Eventually, parental pressure won out and The Rover went on The Bay. Sold twice; first for £200ish but the bastard never showed, second for a mind blowing £46. Fucking stupid letting it go for that, but it had to.

 

 

These are the last (blurry) photos I got before the nasty man came and took it away. I've already removed the JVC Tape'n changer. Condition-wise, there were a lot of 800s in far worse fettle. Front o/s wheelarch was going, rear wheelarches were going, lower rear sills was going and there was no metal whatsoever behind the rear bumper. It would have been a money and time pit to get back how it had been. But mechanically it was Ace. I'll always prefer the looks of the MK1 over the MK2, esp. in Fastback flava.

 

I will now do my very best to keep R227NOJ in the condition in which I failed to keep E193GHJ.

[Lord Sterling]

Great story Chris. The 820e is a pretty rare car, there was one for sale recently, a very early 1987 saloon, I even knew the owner, but sadly lack of space ruled me out of buying it.

[Split_Pin]

More Rover 800 greatness today, I'm enjoying this!

 

Must have been shocking hearing about the Twin Towers whilst just minding your own beeswax working on the car and listening to the jolly good M&L. I was in work when it happened, where there were no radios or TV's (It was a Bank), just lots of retarded female chavs telling tales that turned out to be grossly inaccurate.

[RoadworkUK]

More Rover 800 greatness today, I'm enjoying this!

 

Must have been shocking hearing about the Twin Towers whilst just minding your own beeswax working on the car and listening to the jolly good M&L. I was in work when it happened, where there were no radios or TV's (It was a Bank), just lots of retarded female chavs telling tales that turned out to be grossly inaccurate.

 

It was most strange. If you remember, a few weeks prior the press had been alive with the story that a light aircraft flew into the Pirelli building in Milan. It seemed as if stories like those were all the rage, and the first mention of the BIG incident was simply M&D remarking that they had heard that a plane had hit one of the twin towers. I assumed it to be another stray Cessna. I got indoors and fired up CNN (the balanced, subjective news station) about ten minutes before the second impact. What's that, 11 years ago? Christonabike.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yo Earl, I was reading your blog yesterday, most enjoyable. My favourite was the Signum with the silly bodykit etc. Must say, those Signums are thunderously shite, i would love one.

[RoadworkUK]

Yo Earl, I was reading your blog yesterday, most enjoyable. My favourite was the Signum with the silly bodykit etc. Must say, those Signums are thunderously shite, i would love one.

 

Ta, Bollo. High praise, from you Sir. I've got loads of stuff I need to finish and post up there, but the whole house move clusterfuck has stopped me in my tracks.

 

When I drove that Signum I desparately didn't want to fall into the Clarksonesque fashionable-slating trap, but the thing was just so disastrously embarrassing...

[RoadworkUK]

Enjoyed a very pleasant pair of hours yesterday at the Lawford Classic Vehicle Show Revival Thing, a pressing appointment fitting kitchen cabinet doors before my other half arrived home saw that I could only spend a little while there, but seeing as the show is only a mile and a half from Roadwork Towers I had little excuse not to attend.

 

I rolled up at about half past one, landing five cars from where somebody had dumped this old Cortina.

 

 

I left a message for you, trig, but it was probably scattered by the four winds. After seeing the 'Tina in the flesh, and noting that; for all Trigs despair it looks tremendous, I wandered over and stumped up my £2.50 to get in. Headed straight to the "autojumble", but seeing as the tat available was less apealling than the tat I already posess, I abandoned that and headed for the cars. This was my first stop:

 

 

I love stealthy modifications. The badge is awesome.

 

 

 

OK, the owner had got a bit carried away (grilles over the headlamps? Hmmm), but it was all very well executed.

 

 

This other Capri held a different appeal. I couldn't decide whether it was horrible or brilliant; which I suppose mathematically makes it average.

 

 

Next it was time for some Americana. Matt Black Pontiac Parisienne (probabaly... didn't see any badges) was somewhat better than, I dunno, a matt black Triumph 1300 for example.

 

 

This had obviously suffered a hydrogas leak at some point.

 

 

After spotting this on my way home some weeks back, it reappeared here and I was able to emphotographise it. Not pretty, but the ultimate in drive-as-is patina and no I will not say rat-look.

 

 

 

I chatted to the owner of this for ten minutes or so. It's rough, but honest, and 100% original, and I kinda like that about it. 400c.i, good for about 190hp in '78, probably.

 

 

 

 

Super-fit Fester. And, by the looks of it, my thumb.

 

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20M Taunus is quite a lot more splendid than a MK3 Cortina, innit? No offence, Trig.

 

 

 

Car of show! Lacquer-Peel Carlton.

 

 

Cars I still ill-advisedly want #73: Subaru SVX. But prefer one without poxy 4x4 stickers glued to it.

 

 

 

Manifolds and cover remind me of this:

 

 

 

Slotmags are A Good Thing. Scimitars wear them more betterly than 84% of other cars.

 

 

 

 

Viva La Luton! I've only just woken up to these, despite my uncle having an 1300SL yeaaaaars ago. Best taillamp on a Vauxhall ever?

 

 

 

Estate was a beautifully proportioned motor-car. A 2300 one of these must be gigglesome.

 

 

 

Why isn't there more love out there for Corsairs? This looked triffic.

 

 

Can people please stop gluing Halfords badges to the back of their cars? It looks stupid in 400% of cases.

 

 

Cars I still ill-advisedly want #107: C4 Corvette. Possessed of the most excellent pop-up headlamp mechanism ever. And;

 

 

Tuned Port Fuel Injection. What does that mean? It means 205 hp from 5.7 litres. Mind you, that's on dismal 87Ron pez, which has marginally less calorific value than the stuff I drained out of my U-bend under the sink. So effing cool, though.

 

 

 

You want chrome? We gots chrome!

 

 

 

I must be stupendously out of touch, but five large seems life-supply-of-pretzels grade salty to me, nuts and bolts rebuild or none. But then it is a 1.3 FTW...

 

 

 

This was for sale, too. General condition as per the photo.

 

 

This MINT AS KFCU Scorpio was in the car park as I trudged back to my not in the least bit classic Audi, safe in the knowledge that I'd probably have been laughed at had I rocked up and attempted to display the Rover.

 

Then I sat in the car, reviewed the days photos and realised I had my 8 megapixel phone-cam set to 0.4 MP. Fail ahoy!.

 

Trig: Over to you.

 

EDIT: JUST NOTICED i'VE PUT THIS IN THE RONG THREAD. PARTIAL CREVICE AWARD CLAIMED.

[BMC Dan]

I also attended this, one of the better shows I've been to in the Clacton area. I'll stick my photos up in a bit.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Good report there Earl! Strongly agree about this!

 

 

Who in their right mind could possibly think that looks as good as/better than what M-B did originally!!!

[trigger]

Trig: Over to you.

 

Shame i never got to chat to you Earl, I did get your note which made me smile somewhat though!, I have a few photos myself which neither you or Dan have posted, I may as well post them here if that's ok.

 

1972 Porsche 911 3.0 Carrera Rally Car by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

This 911 looked magnificent i thought.

 

Now I'm going to post the Escort picture in large, bear with me...

 

1998 Ford Escort Si with rear mounted RS2000 Engine by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

Another boring looking Escort Si but wait, where's the engine?.

 

1998 Ford Escort Si with rear mounted RS2000 Engine by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

Well it's not in there, that's a petrol tank.

 

1998 Ford Escort Si with rear mounted RS2000 Engine by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

Holy mother of god, that isn't is it....

 

1998 Ford Escort Si with rear mounted RS2000 Engine by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

Yep, it is!, a rear mounted RS2000 engine and RWD conversion mounted to a Toyota MR2 gear change, The owner started the conversion in February, he said it's drives like the car Ford should have built, it takes off like a rocket and really holds the road, It still had it's steering rack fitted to the cross member for stability.

 

He also said it's deafening inside and he need to change the metal box the engines hiding in, I'd have thought it would overheat?

 

1986 MG Metro 1300 by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

1986 MG Metro 1300 by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

I don't think anyone's posted this Metro either.

 

And I'll finish with a pose of Cortinas!

 

1974 Ford Cortina 1600 L and 2000 XL and 1976 Cortina 1300 L Mk3 by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

 

1974 Ford Cortina 1600 L and 2000 XL and 1976 Cortina 1300 L Mk3 by Trigger's Retro Road Tests!, on Flickr

[RoadworkUK]

Time for a very minor thread update because Executive* Car Of The Century* will be coming out of hiding very soon.

 

It's been in hiding ever since last January when it was forced off the road by a failed clutch slave cylinder. I was forced to revert to the boring old Audi (because it could move under its own power while the 800 couldn't) while the 800 was being repaired (which turned out to be piss-easy). In short the clutch was getting progressively worse before failing altogether while at work where it remained until I fixed it, by which time the MOT had expired, which led to the car being eventually laid up in the garage at home with virtually a full year of ticket on it. 26/10 for organisation and timing.

 

Anyway. Here it is in hiding:

 

 

That's my Nans garage.

 

It's all become a little bit more poignant than before, as Cliff (he who was known as Poppa, AKA my Grandfather) shuffled off this mortal coil in a dignified and thoroughly respectable manner, in October. It was he who indoctrinated me into the ways of the 800 some twelve years ago, when I was nineteen. It was he who put the KV6 curse on me.

 

He has left me a small legacy, enough to accelerate the "home improvement" programme we are deeply mired in, and enough to see that I can restore the Rover back to lurching around roundabouts as it should. So very soon it shall happen. The Audi faces its MOT on Wednesday and this time is likely to need a few helping pushes to see it certificated, so I could well be in the hilarious* position of having two old cars yet being immobile.

 

As far as I know the 800 only needs a battery to get it running. I have suspicions that the steering might need work as it made some unpleasant noises during 2011, and I only ever got half way through the cambelt change, I still have the relay belts to do. Happily the nice, warm, dry garage it's been cocooned in for a year doesn't appear to have done it any harm. The little bit of paint I did on surface rust around the wheelarch lips could do with some attention again, but I might just get this done "by a proper man" for Actual Money. I'm far more confident dealing with oily bits than shiny ones; my logic is that engines either work or they don't, while there ar many different grades of exterior shittiness possible.

 

Firstly it needs to move the ten miles to RoadworkUK Towers, where the only obstacle in its way is this:

 

 

While it may look like Trig's Hoarders House thread, this is actually my garage. I'm pretty sure the Rover will fit in it, but at the moment it's full of new bathroom, new doors, rabbit food and ephemera associated with being stuck in the middle of the seventh circle of hell until the house has been demolished back into some kind of order. And spiders, real bastard ones with EIGHT LEGS.

 

Totally, we've bought absolute house-shite, but which we're hoping will evolve into the domestic equivalent of a concours-condition MK3 Fiesta LX.

 

And that's it, really. Very_Tall_Brad, you may as well hit the Foe button right now as otherwise you could be up for epic levels of badgering.

 

From Chris, owner of the second nicest KV6 800 on this forum.

[Lord Sterling]

Sorry to hear about your Grandfather Chris. As you said, getting this Rover running right, back on the road and I guess keeping it running right is more poignant now than it ever will be. I really hope you achieve this.

[Split_Pin]

That's sad news about your Grandfather.

 

I'm looking forward to seeing this car back on the road.

[RoadworkUK]

Hello everybody!

 

Thought I'd just ruin your collective evenings by updating you on the latest Rover 800 news from North Essex. This long and ever-so-exciting story has been posted on Hooniverse so I've cut and pasted it a bit. I'm sure they won't mind.

 

Hooniverse said:

It was a dark and stormy night. No, seriously, it was. Absolutely horrible; as if the British Autumn had consolidated all its payments of misery and was invoicing me in one crippling transaction.

 

Eighteen months ago I had driven the car to my grandparent’s house, parked it in the garage and left it. This is the story of bringing it back home.

 

 

The car, a fabulous example of a Rover 825Si Fastback, with the head-gasket munching KV6 engine and the unusual inclusion of a manual gearbox, had been signed over to me when my Grandfather gave up driving in 2011. I was overjoyed, of course, as would any Grandson when a fifteen year old Rover falls into his possession. It had happened before, of course; when I was eighteen he gifted me my first Rover, an 820e Fastback of 1988 vintage. It was this car that would be my trusted companion through life at university. Unfortunately after six years in my care the metalwork had fizzed away before my very eyes; it was that car which inspired my online reporting name of Rust-MyEnemy.

 

Anyway. It should have been once bitten, twice shy, but instead I gleefully signed up for more of the same, only this time with a much more complicated engine. I started driving it straight away, putting the Audi into temporary retirement. It was my daily driver for all of 2011 apart from a week during which I replaced one of the cambelts, although I regret I never got around to changing the other two (this is on my To-Do list).

 

 

Around the end of 2011 I began to experience strange feelings through the clutch pedal, gradually getting worse until the car was marooned with no gears selectable. I knew the clutch itself was fine, and diagnosed a problem with the hydraulics and either the master or slave cylinder. It turned out to be the latter, so I now have a very nice and expensive spare master cylinder sitting in my workshop. As soon as It was resolved the road tax, the insurance and the MOT inspection all expired at the same time, hence the Rover found itself abandoned in my Grandparents garage.

 

A lot has happened since then. My girlfriend and I bought our first house together, twenty miles from my Parents and my Grandparents. It has its own garage but that became rapidly swamped with all the ephemera one has to find space for during moving in and redecorating, which seems to be an endless task. Finally, after 18 months the garage is now clear and ready to become home to the Rover. It was always my intention to get the car back up and running at some point, but when my Grandfather died this time last year it suddenly became a matter of personal pride. Sentimentality has come to the fore, I feel like I owe it to Poppa that his pride and joy should be my pride and joy too.

 

 

So here we are. Today’s aims were assessment and rescue. The car was ensconced in a dry garage so had, theoretically, been preserved out of the way of the elements, although it did provide an exciting adventure playground for spiders and mice. The dust had settled deep and crisp and even over the whole car, and blew around like desert sands when the garage door was opened. First task was to roll the car out into the world.

 

I had left the drivers window open under a dust sheet to allow for access without having to unlock the car. Like an idiot I had left the handbrake engaged for eighteen months rather than locking it in gear, So I was well expecting a seized brake and stretched cable at the least, but no. The car willingly rolled backwards, if a little lumpily on flat-spotted tyres.

 

Once outside the dust scuppered any chance of the paintwork displaying lustre. I checked the garage floor where the car had stood, prodding the carpet for signs of leaked fluids, and astonishingly found none. I was expecting clutch fluid due to the likely hopelessness of my slave cylinder repair, but moreover I was expecting power-steering fluid to have poured out; I’ve been suspicious of a hydraulic leak for some time. Unbelievably, the floor was dry. There were no stains that married up with any area of the underbody from which you could expect liquids to exude. I was starting to feel far more confident in the old girl than I had half an hour previously.

 

 

Out of pride I gave the car the most very rudimentary of cleans with a bucket of warm water and a sponge from my Grandmother’s washing-up bowl, just to get that layer of dust off. Pretty soon the paintwork was shining nicely and the last of the evening sun was glinting brightly. I also squirted the vaccuum cleaner around the cabin to lessen the risk of big hairy arachnids leaping out at me and terrifying me rigid. Before long the interior looked almost showroom-fresh. Now, wouldn’t it be great if the thing started?

 

 

The most stupid thing I did when I parked up 18 months ago was neglect to disconnect the battery. As a result it was now flatter than the ground after Pavarotti, Jabba The Hutt and the Weight Gainers and Sumo Association of Mississippi had rolled over it. A new one was duly purloined and installed, sparking excitedly as soon as the positive lead was attached, the current drain on a Rover 825Si being as vast as it is.

 

All seemed well. The interior lights (scattered absolutely everywhere throughout) all shone obediently when the doors were opened so I took a seat and gazed down the bonnet with pride and excitement washing over me. The ignition was illuminated with that inviting red glow I remembered so fondly; I slid the long, thin key into the slot, turned it through position one, two, and then a little further and…… nothing.

 

The instrument cluster had lit up like Tokyo, and the air conditioning fan was blowing wildly, but the engine made no attempt to start. A dull feeling began to run upwards from my stomach. Maybe eighteen months of abandonment had more effect that we thought.

 

I tried again, completely without thinking things through, and of course had no further joy. The battery was new, but untested. The key was an original but who knew about the intricacies of late ’90s Rover group electronics and what happens to them over time. I withdrew the key and reinserted it again. This time, I noticed the immobiliser light flashing an impatient rhythm. It was then that I remembered one of this car’s more endearing characteristics.

 

Every now and again, during Poppa’s ownership of the car, the central locking and immobiliser system would come over all mischievous and playful, and sometimes refuse to play ball altogether. Poppa had been shown, by our friendly local Rover dealership (who’s feelings of guilt having actually sold the car led them to being quite supportive of all those poor customers) the intricate process required to reset the system. It’s a bit like safe-cracking; you turn the key in the driver’s door lock to the left a certain number of times, then to the right, then say the alphabet backwards, sneeze and give the correct handshake, and you’re done. Or something like that.

 

I was sure this was the issue here. The car was just confused. It had been woken from a long slumber and just didn’t know what on Earth was going on. I retraced my steps as far back as fitting the battery. What if the car thinks it’s locked, and doesn’t understand how somebody’s trying to start it? Sounds silly, but let’s try something. I locked the car using the remote, unlocked it, opened the door, closed it again, then put the key in the ignition and twisted it. The immobilizer light flashed a few times, then went out. I turned the key slightly further.

 

Without turning over more than twice, the KV6 caught and instantly settled to a smooth, tuneful idle.

 

I burst into laughter. Eighteen months of abandonment, stale fuel, dubious maintenance and the damn thing just fired straight up. It didn’t sound good for long; the demonic knocking sound that tells of a top end with absolutely no oil pressure began rattling away very soon, quite uncomfortably loud for a spell, and then faded away leaving just that characteristic, warbling KV6 growl that I love so much. See below for a curiously jagged, weirdly lo-res video upload that will take several minutes of your life away forever.

 

Now, we break off here because I have absolutely no idea how to embed a youtube file on this swanky new form setup, but I really won't lose any sleep over it. If you want to see some footage of a worthless car sitting still for several minutes and then starting up, while some unattractive men look on in wonderment please click on the link below:

 

 

(EDIT: How the bloody hell did that happen? Get a load of my mad HTML skillorz!!1!eleven

 

The riveting tale continues:

 

Hooniverse said:

My fears of sudden catastrophic failure, maybe a cambelt snapping, a seizure, anything like that, were unfounded. We could now move onto the second stage; actually moving the car the twenty miles from Frinton to Mistley.

 

The car had no insurance, no tax, no MOT. It was declared off the road, so against the advice of several people who really ought to know better, I didn’t fancy driving it with those odds against it. Not to mention the doubts over brakes, clutch, tyres and how they’d behave after eighteen months of sitting around. No, we’d be towing the Rover to its new home.

 

 

My Dad has a proper, solid towing bar, so we would link the Rover to his car for the journey. Dad runs an E39 540iA Sport, a car with more than enough muscle to haul a Rover be it alive or dead. I’ve always loved that car and hope to take it over one day; it’s almost the exact opposite of the 825Si, everything on it is purposeful, deliberate, fit-for-purpose, and after ten years the leather still smells like steak. To have a Rover actually being helped by a BMW also seemed appealingly ironic. After a bit of fiddling, and in the middle of worsening rain, the train was assembled.

 

My Grandmother, after watching us toiling away, with tears in her eyes from the thought of her husbands car being spirited away for good, went back into the house for a proper, and deserved, sob. I started the Rover again, to provide power for lighting, braking and steering, and we pulled away.

 

 

Now, this was among the most concentrated I’ve ever been on a driving mission. The towing bar was there, but out of view, the 540 was just two feet from the bow of the Rover and his taillights glowed brightly through the howling rain. We had set up a two-way radio link, so Dad was able to warn me advance of braking, junctions, that kind of thing. We had to brake simultaneously to prevent sudden takeup of slack or anything else that could damage either tractor or trailer.

 

As soon as I had first started the Rover today, I had realised that my David Bowie greatest hits CD was in the changer. Here I Was, Sitting In My Tin Can while Bowie sang Spaceoddity at me, which was fantastically apt but had to be switched off nonetheless in case it should interfere with radio communications. As it was, concentration was hard enough without there being a Starman Waiting In The Sky.

 

I hadn’t driven the Rover since January 2012, but today it felt more alien than ever. I was sharing the braking with Dad and the 540, so I didn’t know how much or how little effect I was having when I put pressure on the pedal. Same goes for the steering; I could see the effect that I was having in relation with the towcar, but I couldn’t determine whether I was applying too much or too little lock. There was absolutely no feeling at all, and this made things all the more terrifying as Dad was absolutely not hanging around.

 

 

To me, it felt like the 286hp BMW, while towing the Rover, felt quicker than the 175hp 825 does on it’s own. With the rain falling biblically and combining with the considerable spray being thrown up by the BMW, I was blind some of the time, becoming worse as the light failed. What a result that the air-conditioning was found to be working; it helped to disperse my sweat quite effectively.

 

 

The rain eased a little as we reached Mistley, and stopped altogether at the exact time we pulled up outside Rusty Towers. We disconnected the 825 from the 540 and I took the opportunity to take the Rover on a quick shakedown spin around our quiet, sheltered, private estate. Everything worked; the engine sounded good, the gearbox snicked from gear to gear despite my best efforts at clutch repair. I was, am, utterly thrilled.

 

 

Then there was the bit where I found that the Rover didn’t get anywhere near fitting inside the garage with the door down, which meant a swift re-organisation of things, but now, finally, my beloved Rover is safely tucked up at my own house. It will now sit here through the winter until the roads are free of salt and the sun shines once more.

 

Then work can begin. It ran when parked, and afterwards, too. Think of it as a very light rolling restoration. Poppa had huge pride in the car, right up to the end, and loved to see me feel the same. He’s not around any more, but the car is, and will stay with me for as long as is reasonably practical.

 

 

It just seems the right thing to do. Thanks for reading.

I actually went on a bit of a celebratory Rover 800 frenzy that week, posting four seperate articles about Rover 800 brochures. I was massively surprised when I found out that nobody really gave a flying shite.

[Wilko220]

I do. I like this a lot.

Rover 800 frenzies are always welcome from this callsign...

[HillmanImp]

 

 

Fab write up. Cant figure out. Is it yours?

 

 

 

this story reminds me of the time I put an "ON TOW MO'FO" notice on the back of my Scirocco and was getting towed to the garage by my mate in his alfa 147. 

 

On a duel carriageway section of the Leeds ring road the thread on the tow-ring on the Alfa threaded leaving me left half on the road half on the kerb with a 'comedy' sign in the back window looking like a right c*nt with a piece of rope hanging out the front as my mate shot off into the distance. 

 

ALL ALFAS R SHIT

[Lord Sterling]

This is great!!!!! Welcome back Chris. I did wonder where you'd got to. We really must get our KV6s to meet up one day soon. I *may* be heading to London in the next couple of weeks to see an uncle before he moves flies off to Italy. If so, I'll send you a PM and see if we can meet half way somewhere for a chinwag about 800s. You really need to try my Sterling Auto.

 

Where is it you posted about the Rover brochures? I went a bit crazy buying more Rover 800 related bumf off eBay recently.

[KruJoe]

Yes, it's good to see you both back, Earl.

 

+1 on feeling faster than fact when being towed. Me and Will regularly punish each other for needing towing home by scaring the shit from the unfortunate of the day. Last time it was me, in the Rover 216 laying chocolate buttons on the driver's seat, behind Olga the Niva, on a scratty old bit of blue rope. Such fun*.

[rml2345]

Welcome back Chris! Good to hear the Rover seems none the worse for its slumber and it still looks fab. It's not helping my strong desire for 800 ownership though...

[RoadworkUK]

Thanks Guys!

 

Answers: Hillmanimp Yep, that be my beasty, registered by Rover originally, presumably press fleet or sommat, then Poppa, now me.

 

Sterling: if you point your PC to http://hooniverse.com/author/roadwork/ that lists all my posts including the brochure ones which is a series I'm doing called The Carchive. There's Rover 800, SD1 and P6 stuff in there and dozens more high quality* publications.

 

A meet would be awesome, but mine won't be insured, taxed, MOTd til next year. That said you're more than welcome to drop by my pad if it's not too far off the beaten track for you.

 

KruJoe: Being towed is probably my new favourite sport! The towing bar is scareshitlessing, there's only about three inches of slack in it! I'm almost looking forward to OMGdoubleHGF for another towing opportunity!

 

rml2345: You must acquire one immediately! I genuinely love the fact that these cars are a bit crap compared to the competition at the time. The fact that it feels like what it is; a 1986 car. It's almost like a Hindustan Ambassador full of microchips. Just ask Pete-M, he agrees wholeheartedly.

[Vince70]

 

Sorry to change the subject Chris but how easy is it to change the cam-belt on the A4.

 

I've got an old one which doesn't have any history of a cam-belt change and I don't mind having a go at the basics mines only a SOHC 1.6 was it an easy job and do I need any special tools.

[phil_lihp]

It's good to see some more Rover love, looks like it'll be a good one when it's sorted.  is the KV6 a scary motor then?  I had the impression it was more or less two 1.4 K series lumps welded together, a nice motor but prone to double the trouble with HGFs...but then again I know nothing.

 

I should ask you to desist with the Rover puns, I was already running out of ideas!  Not yet though, I still have one or two.

[RoadworkUK]

....  is the KV6 a scary motor then?

I don't really know, yet. All I know is that there are three cambelts; I did one of them about 10k miles ago but the two relay belts remain to be done and are at the other end of the engine. I need to become bezzie m8s with somebody who owns the correct engine locking tools and whatnot; I'm scared of the cams springing round as they tend to.

I should ask you to desist with the Rover puns, I was already running out of ideas!  Not yet though, I still have one or two.

There have been obvious puns throughout this thread for eighteen months! I've got to keep the crapness quotient right somehow!

[RoadworkUK]

Sorry to change the subject Chris but how easy is it to change the cam-belt on the A4.

Easier than the KV6 inasmuch as there's only one to do. Mine's a 1.8T, the belt itself isn't a problem but there seem to be endless layers of ancilliries to remove before you can get to it. You can set the front bumper; headlamps etc. to a "service position" but I didn't see the point and just took the whole lot off, including rad, intercooler, fan, etc. I did the waterpump at the same time as mine had never been changed; it still had the laughable plastic impellor which comes off the spigot and doesn't pump any more.

 

Actually, come to think, it was the failure of the pump that forced my hand and persuaded me to do the CB at the same time, a couple of thou early. It's now due again! I reckon I'll leave it until the spring.