Ello, Ello, Ello! How clean is YOUR licence?

[warren t claim]

I'm currently having my longest period of having a clean licence ever. Six years and counting. Alas in the past I was a somewhat naughty little boy and have had a couple of short term bans, once for exceeding 12 points for various speeding and construction and use offences and another two week ban for picking a race with the last ever unmarked Police Capri when I was driving what the prosecuting solicitor described as a "high powered, fuel injected Ford Escort XR3i"

 

So go on! It's time for the Autoshite CRB check and tell the world what little indescretions you have had in the past.

[Pete-M]

Passed test '88

Banned for a while in '89 - totting up. Mainly speeding

Banned for a while in '91 - totting up. Mainly speeding

Banned again in '93 - for a major driving indescretion* in '91. 3yr ban. Couldn't drive for a while anyway.

Appealed against ban '94, licence returned clean.

Got 5 points and £130 fine for speeding in '96

Got another 3 points in 99 for speeding

Another 3 in 2000 for speeding.

 

Been clean as a whistle since. Not slowed down that much, just a lot more careful. Drive sensibly most of the time now, still let it all hang out on occasion though.

 

* Not drink driving, theft etc. But a bit of a biggie involving a 100 mph chase in a £300 Fiat Supermirafiori 2.0. A reg one. With yellow headlights. How it actually happened I'm still unsure.

[Claypole]

Currently on 3 points from a 1.4 Polo on the M62...

 

In the past:

 

6 points for motorway speeding, Corrado 1.8 16V

14 day ban same car motorway speeding again.

2 month ban - Corrado VR6 - like that wasn't a ticket waiting to happen (110mph as i was only in 4th gear...).

3 points - 125cc Aprillia RS.

 

Think that about covers it.

 

Oh and I went past a marked Saab on the M1 once in the VR6 doing about 130 once, they couldn't set off fast enough, lol. Caught me up but i was doing 60mph by then, pulled over and told off.

[Negative Creep]

Driving since December 2001, 0 points. Think I've only ever gotten one parking ticket as well

[Albert Ross]

Passed my test January 18th 1984.

Done for drink driving September 1985. 1 year ban. (I was still pissed from the night before, and this was 7pm on a Sunday........!)

Then nothing until 2000 when I got done for being uninsured.... I was swapping between 2 Sierra, both Crystal Green Y reg Estates, and I did it a day late by mistake, same insurance company, same kind of car, same kind of risk, I'd paid them regularly for years.... did they help? Did the fuck. 8 points, £350 fine........ Yes, that's for being uninsured and a clerical error for less than 24 hours....... How other mouth breathing scrotes get away with it is beyond me.

Since then, clean as the proverbial whistle. Although I will have to be careful if these new DD laws come in, the mornings after will be the killers.

[Rocket88]

Banned before I got a licence![teenage stupidity!] few parking fines, and lucky escapes since.

[Father Ted]

Passed test '88

Banned for a while in '89 - totting up. Mainly speeding

Banned for a while in '91 - totting up. Mainly gspeedin

Banned again in '93 - for a major driving indescretion* in '91. 3yr ban. Couldn't drive for a while anyway.

Appealed against ban '94, licence returned clean.

Got 5 points and £130 fine for speeding in '96

Got another 3 points in 99 for speeding

Another 3 in 2000 for speeding.

Pete - have you ever considered getting a 998cc Morris Marina?

[oldford]

Passed my test on May 11 1983 in a yellow Metro HPU844Y. Since then I have spent most of the time working in the motor trade, with over 10 years in car hire.

 

The worst that I have had is a parking ticket.

[myglaren]

1 parking fine and 2 speeding fines + 6 points five years ago.

 

And an endorsement in 1965 for writing my dad's Morris 1100 (brand new) and a Morris Oxford off - uninsured

[Richard]

My last speeding ticket was in 1995 for doing 64mph in my sleep on the Forth Road Bridge.

[chaseracer]

Passed test '88

Banned for a while in '89 - totting up. Mainly speeding

Banned for a while in '91 - totting up. Mainly gspeedin

Banned again in '93 - for a major driving indescretion* in '91. 3yr ban. Couldn't drive for a while anyway.

Appealed against ban '94, licence returned clean.

Got 5 points and £130 fine for speeding in '96

Got another 3 points in 99 for speeding

Another 3 in 2000 for speeding.

Pete - have you ever considered getting a 998cc Morris Marina?

Now there's an Autoshite solution! Would the sidevalve engine from an early Minor fit? Back in the day, a mate wondered why his Austin 1300 was so slow - turned out it had a Mini 850 motor under the bonnet...

 

Licence? Passed March '83, clean since*. Miracles do happen.

 

 

* Walks through house, touching all wooden objects...

[Alexg]

Currently on 3 points for speeding, was 9 until a year ago. That was worrying as I work in the motor trade..

[pogweasel]

3 points for exceeding 30mph speed limit on the A40 (formerly the A40M, national speed limit. ) in 2005

 

3 points for exceeding 50mph speed limit on A1 in 2006.

 

Scameras. Grr.

[Guest]

SP10 - 3Points as of last month (Speeding in a commercial vehicle)

 

1997 had sp30 (40 in a 30) And TS10 (Ran a red light-it was amber officer )

 

Otherwise a few parking tickets and in 1995 2 non endorceable no mot fines and a fine for riding a larger motorcycle than my licence covered (1986).

[garethj]

Passed my test in April 1988, got 3 points for 39mph in a 30 limit in the mid ‘90s. The XJ-S I had at the time was reluctant to change into top gear so I was keeping an eye on the speedo to see what speed it would change. I should have kept an eye on the policeman with the speed gun...

 

Then in the late ‘90s in a Suzuki Cappuccino I was on the Northampton ring road and didn’t spot the camera van on the bridge until it was too late, think I was doing about 60mph and the limit changed to 50.

 

Clean since then, despite riding like an absolute twat on my bikes.

[Guest]

Erm....

 

Traffic light bollocking when 17 in Northwich at 2 AM.

 

Traffic light camera bollocking chasing someone I worked with on the bins doing 700 mph in an area I didn't know.

 

Speed camera rape coming off the snake in 2007. It was Liz's fault.

 

Bollocking on the M56 for 'doing a dangerous speed past the roadworks' when:

 

1. There was no one working on the roadworks.

2. A Cayenne Turbo doing twice my speed went up my inside past said roadworks.

 

Once, I called this bloke from the IAM a cunt. I'm not the cleanest driver ever.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Once, I called this bloke from the IAM a cunt.

Most impressive.

 

I've been pretty lucky, never been busted for speeding (in the UK at least ), and never had a parking ticket! Been done twice for towing shonky trailers with no lights etc on though.

[trigger]

Past my test in 1997 and got my first and only SP30 (42 in a 30) in 1999 whist trying to impress some old sort on the way to MacDonalds. I felt like a right tit when i got the tug and i never even got my leg over.

 

I've been very lucky since though. Touch wood.

[Station]

2004 - Bought car, all was legit. Couldn't produce insurance documents at the time with producer. Missed end of 1 month producer limit, too busy to go to court. Got 6 points.

 

2007 - Got flashed by revenue camera doing 35 on 30 road during rush hour. Got three points automatically

 

2009 - Gave my girlfriend a driving lesson in North Wales on a deserted industrial estate. Keen eyed motorbike policeman spotted us. Came over, and took our details down, she didn't have insurance. Didn't hear anything back from the c*nting bearded bastard pig, until the LAST DAY of the three month limit, requesting a court appearance. Attended court. Girlfriend got six points and a fine. I got six points and a fine (even though I wasn't driving). Points went on the license the same week my 6 points left my license.

The horrible pair of chavs that went in before me for putting one of their girlfriend's in hospital over a drunken beating got a 150 pound fine.

 

The police appeared at my home and asked me to be a witness a couple of weeks after to a crime and I told them to stick it up their arseholes.

[Vin]

I got done in 2004 for doing 79mph on the M180 . Got flashed by the van that often sits near the bridge over the Trent at Scunny. I was overtaking a truck at the time and didn't see him till too late. As an alternative to 3 points and a £60 fine I took the offered £50 fine and attendance of a speed awareness course. That was a waste of a morning and was glad I pulled a sickie as it wasn't worth wasting holiday on.

 

Got done on Tiger Way in Leicester in about 2002. I was taking someone to the train station but as she'd had trouble with her glasses (she'd lost a screw) we were delayed. So as a result I was rushing to get her to her train and it was only when the flash went off in the dark that she said - "Oh yeah, there's speed cameras along here...." So 45 in a 30. 3 points and £60 fine. She caught her train though.

 

My favourite though was in 1999 in my Tipo 1.6 DGT, which I'd only had a couple of weeks. I was on my way back from visiting my Nan in hospital in Lincoln. I had to get on the M180 for 1 section (for anyone on here that knows the area it was between the Scunthorpe/A15 Lincoln exit and the exit for the Humber Bridge at Barnetby top where the Jet and Little Chef is) As it was 4 'o' clock on a Sunday afternoon and there was hardly anything on the M-way I thought I'd see what my 'new' car could do and I really wanted to get the digital dashboard into 3 figures

 

Any way I did it. I got it to read 118 mph. I was well chuffed

 

As I was coming off the slip road past the Little Chef, I looked in my rear view mirror and thought, that blokes coming up behind me pretty fast - I then realised it was a white Omega Estate. With orange stripes. And a blue light. BUMMER.

 

Anyway they pulled me over. I joined them in the motor. They averaged my speed on their onboard camera as 99.9mph. So I got 3 points and £40 fine.

 

It was worth it just to watch the speedo on my digi dash

[seth]

[FredTransit]

Squeaky clean thanks, though god knows how!

[Cavcraft]

Just checked my falling to bits paper licence, nowt showing.

I think my last driving conviction (with points) was about 23 years ago. I got lifted for doing 71mph in a 40 zone on my motorbike.

 

However...taking my lad to work the other day (the morning after telling him he shouldn't speed when he passes his test) I went past some OAPs waving a speed camera and would estimate I was doing circa 48mph in a 40 zone.

They people with the gun do random speed checks locally every now and then and I don't know the full extent of their 'powers' so will have to sit and wait. My hard luck if I get done of course and I cannot complain, I'm just kicking myself as I very rarely speed these days.

[dieselnutjob]

passed my test in 1987 and never got any points, though I have been stopped and told off a few times.

I have absolutely no idea how they never caught me because I used to regularly do 90mph on single carraigeway derestricted roads.

A few months back I passed a police car on the M1 in the middle of the night.

I had set my cruise control to 77mph and just cruised past him and all the other cars that were too afraid to overtake.

He followed me for miles and miles before pulling out and speeding off presumably for something more important.

[Lord Sterling]

Passed test in 2004. 2005 got done for pulling a handbrake in front of a Police Van. I didnt see parked around the corner, realising what I'd done, I booted it up the road and hid in a car park for an hour, just as I was leaving the car park, said Police van just happend to be driving down the road and blocked me in.

 

Eventually only got done for not producing MOT, £60 fine only.

 

Same year, overtook a Land Rover, got pulled by Police, they called me names and took the piss and fucked off.

 

All this was done driving the Micra.

 

Incidentally a few years ago I did drive past a Speed Camera at over the speed limit and got flashed, though never heard anything, must not have been any film on the cam, I got lucky that time.

 

First pull in my old Rover 827 was going the wrong way through a junction, cop pulled me over, told me off. First thing he said was he wasnt going to give me a ticket.

 

2006, ran a Red light (Had just changed) £60 fine and 3 Points. The £90 driver awareness course was not an option then for some reason, though was available in other areas.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I may be wrong but I dont think those goons who wave the speed gun around on behalf of the police have a great lot of powers. I often see them in Church Minshull, you have to wonder what sort of person actually chooses to stand out there on the pavement on a miserable day pointing the hairdryer at passing motorists.

 

At least you can cheerfully flick them the V's without fear of being pulled over 5 times/day for a 'routine check' afterwards, and its also worth keeping an eye open at the local supermarket for reduced-price bread buns, sausage rolls etc which you can keep in the car and lob at these idiots as you drive past, revving the engine mercilessly and doing your best gurning face.

[VWPowered]

passed me test 91 ithin three weeks banned for excessive speeding, then got caught no tax/mot etc that continues for 8 years in that circle before i think bollocks to this, sit it out for three years (brought a bike and walked) got license back and clean since

[AnthonyG]

3 points for traffic light offence in 1994 or so, and 6 points for driving without due care and attention when I rear ended a car on the M25 in 1997.

 

Since then, nice and clean - last time I got flashed by a speed camera was 2001 I think.

[pogweasel]

its also worth keeping an eye open at the local supermarket for reduced-price bread buns, sausage rolls etc which you can keep in the car and lob at these idiots as you drive past, revving the engine mercilessly and doing your best gurning face.

Hmm, I may employ this strategy next time I get caught up in one of those twatting cycle races on the A1 (so sunday morning then).

[HillmanImp]

3 points and (I think it was in those days) a £30 fine when I was 17 for doing 62 in a 30 in my Imp of all things.

 

In 2006 I got a fixed penalty (3 points £60 fine) but failed my producer as some scrotes had broken in to my mates house a few months before and stole my wallet which included the plastic bit of my driving licence. I had not noticed as I had been more concerned with cancelling my credit cards and finding her car which had also been stolen etc. Police said they could see i had a licence (i had the paper bit) but had no choice to take me to court at great expense to the taxpayer. Got an extra point and was fined over £300.

 

I sent a letter to the court with a crime number of the wallet theft, asking for the name and addresses of the little scrotes who did it (who were caught as they were already tagged, but still got away scot free) as i was going to go round to their house and take the law into my own hands as the legal system is full of a bunch or retarded pencil pushers. I posted the letter by recorded delivery to the court.

 

After calming down, i spent a few days waiting for the police to come round and arrest me for sending a letter saying, i was going to murder some adolecsents to a court but was pleasantly surprised to find they had bropped it back to a fixed penalty. ...sort of, i still had 3 points but hell, i realise i am breaking the law when i speed, its the risk we all take.