Cluffy's Fleet - All cars doing "Car", all need work 🤣

[Cluffy]

Hi all,

I've been meaning to post more on here. I guess I've had questions on here from time to time, so why not document all in one place and keep a longer record 🙂

At last count, I've had over thirty cars to my name since passing my test back in 1999... I've always loved Jags as my Dad had them and then got massively into Alfas after having a 156 2.0 Twin Spark and just couldn't imagine anything cooler...

So, what's in the fleet at the moment? Well, first to say that I work for JLR and have been resisting the ease of just taking on a Car through work... It's a lot of money monthly, however, it's actually a bargain for what it is and would be ridiculously easy... However, the first part of that statement hits me hardest being from the north (I'm affectionately know as the Northern Tramp by @grogee of this parish) and as I see it, I can keep a couple of cars easily* for the £5k a year the JLR car would cost me over twelve months, providing I've found the upfront cash to buy... So I'm resisting becoming a sheep in a Defender!

In the household at the minute we have three cars. My wife runs a 2014 Mini Cooper S Auto. Lovely thing to drive - a hoot! And it's well built. Nearly 90k on it and not a single rattle or squeak. It likes to bong and beep at everything which gets a bit annoying - did something break or are you just letting me know it's a bit chilly outside? No pictures on my phone. It's been pretty reliable over the last two years after a new battery and normal servicing. 

Onto my two, I've mentioned my Jag XJ in a couple of places. I bloody LOVE this car:

It needs a couple of bits but i really enjoy putting miles on it. It's pretty well spec'd as it's not a portfolio but does have all the bits I want like heated/cooled seats, heated wheel and the previous owner fitted CarPlay/Android Auto which integrates really well into the main screen. I don't get why everyone doesn't have one 😅

Finally my latest purchase at the back end of February was my Porsche Boxster S:

After owning a Corrado VR6 for several years, I was ready for something else. I've wanted to have a crack at a 911 for a number of years, but the upfront expense didn't make sense to me with the amount I'd use the car and also i rarely have passengers in my "fun" car. 

Funny one this - a few bits to do (I like to tinker)... It makes a cracking noise and I will put a different exhaust on at some point to make even more of it. Steers and rides really well for a 21 year old car with no roof strength! But it's frustrating me somewhat...! 

[Cluffy]

The Boxster is knocking from the front end RHS it's really taking the shine off... It happens over bumps, particularly with a little right-hand lock on and also, I seem to get it more when the car is cold...

I have replaced drop links and top mounts for MOT and lower arms as there was play in the ball joints and the bushes looked poor... But still it's knocking. It sounds as though it's coming from the top mount area but I'm well aware noises can be deceptive !

My mechanic has been over it and can not find a thing wrong. "Tuning forks", anti roll bar, steering rack/rods are all solid (apparently). He wondered if the struts themselves can break down on these??

I'm lifting it this weekend to do an oil service so any thoughts / tips would be welcome as i will have a good poke around!! 

[stripped fred]

It's often difficult to find these noises isn't it, and difficult to ignore if you are mechanically sympathetic. You can spend a lot of time /money trying to locate the issue. Could it be coming from the rear instead? Nice 'fleet' by the way. I'll have to look for your other posts on the XJ. Is it a LWB model? I have an older, rustier, S type. My first Jag. I do like the handling ride / balance and it's a good long distance cruiser. The person I bought it off swapped it for an XJ, but the older model with the same 2.7 engine.

[Cluffy]

It's the SWB and I prefer that for both parking and the looks of the thing! Still plenty of room in the back for my daughter and all her clobber....

It's a 3.0 diesel but from the days when Jag thought 280bhp was plenty and didn't go mad with the S models hitting reliability....(Runs for cover hoping it keeps behaving)

Yes, aware any noise could easily sound from the front but begin at the rear. But I feel this through the steering. I'll check everything I can this weekend. But I can't live with it like this, nor can I afford to throw the parts cannon at it....

[Bren]

Those XJ's are beautiful.

Before I bought my 530d I clocked a Japanese import 5.0 portfolio - it was cheaper tax than a UK car but obviously it had no history. The only reason I never went for it was it was in Norfolk and we were in the middle of one of the many storms we seem to have.

The 3.0d is a good performer but stories of crank  failure put me off.

So I bought a BMW F11 with the N57 ( palms face).

[Asimo]

Dampers / struts can fail internally and make noises.

[Cluffy]

1 hour ago, Asimo said:

Dampers / struts can fail internally and make noises.

Very interesting. It does feel like top mounts. But that's brand new (and fitted correctly!)!

[Cluffy]

I've now got the Boxster back in the garage. I'll lift it tomorrow or Saturday.

With the scuttle covers off, I can haul on the strut brace and sometimes get the noise to happen. I think it's coming from the bottom of the suspension or the steering. Only real way to tell would be if I had a four post lift..!

[straightSix]

Nice fleet. I reckon my next daily is going to be an X351. What's like like on fuel on a long-ish run?

[stuboy]

On 29/04/2025 at 22:05, Cluffy said:

 

stunning motor

[Cluffy]

1 hour ago, straightSix said:

Nice fleet. I reckon my next daily is going to be an X351. What's like like on fuel on a long-ish run?

I did a schlep from Midlands to Darlington and back just after new year and it did 48mpg. Doing my usual commute type stuff it's on 37 but my drive to work is not the best run really... These should do 40+ with ease in normal driving 

[Cluffy]

I spent some time this afternoon getting the Porsche lifted for front suspension/knocking noise investigation and the oil services I want to do. I took my time, getting it solid on the stands etc... Assume the position!:

Well, they say bad things come in three's, right? Well hopefully the last one happens quickly and isn't too major as I managed to break two tools today! 🤬

First thing I wanted to do was undo the front right track rod to see if the inner ball joint could still hold the weight of the rod as that's a surefire way to know if it is still in good health and hold the weight. Should be simple enough?  Undo the nut and pop the joint with my ball joint tool? What have you been smoking, Cluffy - of course not. Shall we break the tool for you before the joint pops? Aye, go on then:

Unbelievable. This thing has managed ball joints on the Corrado, the Golf, countless Alfas and plenty of other motors for friends etc... I'll have to get a new one of those then to continue this job...

I had a bit more time so thought I'd make a start getting bits out of the way to access the gearbox drain plug. These bolts on the brace are 15mm heads (apologies for upside down picture)

I only have a 3/8th inch 15mm socket and it needed my breaker bar as they weren't shifting just with the ratchet/ longest spanner I have. Cue immediate snappige of my 1/2 inch to 3/8th adaptor 😫Arse. 

So, I need to replace my broken tools and get a 15mm 1/2inch drive socket (if they exist!?)

But before any of that I have closed the garage and have opened a cider.... FFS!!!!

 

[Cluffy]

The third bit of poor fortune has struck... My 8mm Allen key head socket fits fairly snuggly in the oil sump plug, but as it's quite long it's twisting rather than turning which will easily round it out as I'm having to use the breaker bar.... Why do people tighten these things so much...!

Fortunately @grogee has some imperial bits that might be an even better fit and hopefully get the torque where I need it...

In good news however I have managed to remove the two braces and the covering tray. Unfortunately I did have to pay Mr Bezos for next day deliver of a 15mm socket but it's done the job. It took a lot of grunt to undo them and after that, there was some local corrosion holding everything fast together. The persuader and a chisel soon sorted that out. 

Opportunity to clean things up etc...

Finally I have good access to the gearbox. This needs a 10mm Allen for the drain plug. I think for the full plug too...:

However as you can see someone has been a bit hamfisted in the past... I'm not putting any torque on that until I know exactly what tool to use!!

[High Jetter]

Y tho are you removing me, said that tray.

[Cluffy]

Sitrep. 

Engine sump plug was defeated by my inner viking strength and my superb breaker bar. I ordered a new plug as someone with the mechanical sympathy of a 9 year old has been in there several times before. That's now fitted, as is a new oil filter. 

Then I did the best geometry equation possible with the ratchet held by the trolley jack to crack the gearbox oil fill plug off. Finally it gave way:

Oh yes, full and drain plugs removed. Gearbox oil absolutely honked... It's been in there a while. And hopefully with some fresh fluid, second gear will be much happier to engage when cold 🤞

I'll top up both engine and gearbox oils on Sunday once I've refitted those plugs with new washers. 

No further joy on the front suspension noise hideousness. I think I will stump up the cash for some fresh bilsteins at £180 a side. Luckily the springs look in good order and with the rest of the bits already done, I don't need to spend much, if not any more....

If it's not the struts knocking internally, well, swear fingers but new damping is never a bad thing, right?

[Cluffy]

We're back on the road. 

Fresh oil in both engine and gearbox doing good work. Seems to be better at engaging second from cold which is good. Still doesn't like to be rushed, but it feels more natural now that having the consciously think about the change each time. 

Having tightened every suspension bolt possible, I'm now just going to drive the thing. I'm more convinced now that the knocking is lateral so might possibly do track rod ends, an alignment and trailing arms next month. Overly worried it might be steering rack but I'd rather put the simpler, cheaper bits on first to eliminate those. 

Have a terrible picture from an upstairs window to show it being back to Frontline duty...

 

[straightSix]

I've read the shifter from a 997 improves the feeling as well as it's a bit of a shorter throw. And I don't think it's too expensive to buy from Porsche. Planning on doing it to mine when I've sorted all the service bit 

[RayMK]

@Cluffy, when 'your' model of the XJ was introduced I saw one in the flesh shortly afterwards. It looked stunning.  I had not seen more than a handful for ages until someone moved in a few doors away, parking his silver XJ beauty on his driveway.  It's a large car to reverse off his short (single car length) drive, especially when the people opposite park vans or a camper on the road. I bet he curses them! 

[Cluffy]

14 hours ago, RayMK said:

@Cluffy, when 'your' model of the XJ was introduced I saw one in the flesh shortly afterwards. It looked stunning.  I had not seen more than a handful for ages until someone moved in a few doors away, parking his silver XJ beauty on his driveway.  It's a large car to reverse off his short (single car length) drive, especially when the people opposite park vans or a camper on the road. I bet he curses them! 

It is a long old thing. Imagine the LWB!!

It's due a wash, so once that's done I'll throw up some pictures. I do need to get it in the garage at some point. It has a bit of a wobble when braking from speed -  I want to measure the run out on the front discs and hubs and try and offset. Convinced it's warped front discs but they are in "as new" condition so ideally I'd like to avoid replacing them. Apparently they come off without needing the caliper carrier off 🤞

[Cluffy]

21 hours ago, straightSix said:

I've read the shifter from a 997 improves the feeling as well as it's a bit of a shorter throw. And I don't think it's too expensive to buy from Porsche. Planning on doing it to mine when I've sorted all the service bit 

Yes, I'd read the 987/997 one was better. Maybe I'll do that in coordination with a brake and clutch fluid flush. At some point...

I'm very indecisive on this front knocking.. I'm already drop links, top mounts and coffin arms in... Do I just go the whole hog and drop another approx £500 for shocks, trailing arms, tie rod and ARB bushes? Then it will all be new...?

[Cluffy]

Shocks arriving tomorrow. Assume the position, please Mr Boxster:

I'll report back when I inevitably break something....

 

[stuboy]

hows it going?

[Cluffy]

10 hours ago, stuboy said:

hows it going?

I should have some time today to start removing parts.  I have half a dozen YouTube videos watched and saved for the strut removal. Looks quite involved but I've got nothing but time and an XJ to keep me entertained if I get stuck...!

[Cluffy]

So, after a lazy lunch with Mrs C (reminding me that I should make more effort to more frequently have a hot fish finger sandwich), I set to it this afternoon. 

First up trackrod end to come off. Absolute swine. Couldn't get it to budge, even with the breaker bar on the tool. I genuinely felt it was going to do some major damage so backed off. The nut is shot. I'll try once more tomorrow, just for curiosity of the state of the inner one while I've got bits apart

Then to the trailing arm. It came out fairly easily. To my untrained eyes I think the busing here is absolutely fine..? No rips etc and only a smidge of surface rust on the arm... Can they break down internally if the boot still does it's job? Seems to move quite freely...

Then I got the drop link off and some wiring bits and set to the big bolt holding the lower arm on. I managed to get it out of there but no idea how I'll get it torqued properly as access around the subframe is not great... A problem for another day / YouTube assistance. 

And then to pulling the strut. Difficult to do as a one man job with the hub flailing about, trying not to overstretch and brake lines and the pesky trackrod getting in the way... However, I managed it in the end...

Annoying that I nicked the arch paintwork at one point 😫But only a 1cm scratch... Hey, it's not a crazy valuable car...

I'm wondering (HOPING!?) if this rust at the top of the damper rod and other knackered bits internally are causing the damper to not be able to do rebound anymore or only to a limited degree... Open to ideas...

I'll get the other side off then I have and evening with @grogee planned, where we will get the new bilsteins swapped over and in return for his help I'll get us a round of Five Guys finest...

[grogee]

5 hours ago, Cluffy said:

Five Guys

 

[Matty]

5 hours ago, Cluffy said:

So, after a lazy lunch with Mrs C (reminding me that I should make more effort to more frequently have a hot fish finger sandwich), I set to it this afternoon. 

Phnaar 🤣

[Cluffy]

11 hours ago, Matty said:

Phnaar 🤣

A stretch... But I like the cut of your jib...

[Cluffy]

No pics, but I got everything unbolted from the Passenger side this morning. After the experience from yesterday, I will get Mrs C to help me with the final bit on Monday. Just to make sure I do t test the other front wing, save my back etc...! 

Awaiting a new impact gun to help me get the track rods off to understand fully how healthy they are. If I manage and they need doing, I'll likely get the garage to do them as after all this work, it'll need a full alignment anyway...

[Cluffy]

WELL....

After removing the passenger side strut today (thanks to Mrs C for the assist..) I randomly moved the anti roll bar to find the exact noise I have been experiencing all this time...!

What was it? Bushes looked fine, but on inspection, these two small stones were jammed against the bar:

Now it's completely silent... I'm 99.9% sure that this has been the problem all along...

I would normally cry at this kind of thing, but to be honest, I'm just relieved. Yes, I could've not gone to all the trouble, but given I've looked over it and shaken things for hours now, plus my mechanic had... Who knew!

I'll get the shocks swapped with help from Grogee and then slowly put it back together. Arguably £360 I could've saved, but fresh damping is never a bad thing...

It will need an alignment for sure and I hope I haven't damaged anything... 

Does anyone have any tips for torquing wishbone bushes on the deck? Access is NOT good... Blocks of wood, or simply take the load on a jack? Would rather be safe than sorry ...

[Matty]

Tbh even though it was one of those wierd daft problems that you found, I'd hundred percent agree that it was worth doing anyway. After all you will have improved the car which is always a plus!