Talk you never want to hear on viewing a car...

[stuboy]

........ oh and the alarm randomly goes off....

[warch]

On 2/13/2023 at 3:09 PM, Soundwave said:

"If it doesn't sell for £<amount>, I'll scrap it instead."

So, if you don't get £2k for your £1500-at-best car, you'll sell it for £400 to the scrappers?  Yes, that'll certainly teach potential buyers a lesson. Stop being such a dildo.

This is sort of understandable in the sub £500 category (remember those days?) where the difference between sale and scrap is very little, but otherwise you're just being a plank.

It’s classic passive aggressive behaviour, see also ‘if I don’t get the asking price will break for parts’ despite ‘too many projects’ in the same advert. 
 

My favourite selling ploy is the sort of 18th century prose adopted by wanky classic car vendors when trying to shift a moderately interesting or pseudo sporty car from long ago. Hence;

’It was a cold spring morning in April 1952 when Mr D Gribbins collected the keys to his brand new Riley Weasel 2+2 drophead TWA 1S finished in Old English Sheepdog White. He’d opted for the contrasting plum leather upholstery and beech dash and door furnishings but decided against knock off  wire wheels. Mr Gribbins was the co proprietor of Gribbins and Weed, a Brighton based hosiery supplier so TWA 1S would have spent much of the first 5 years of her life delivering ladies articles across the South Downs….

(continues in this vein for the next five paragraphs)

 

 

[backache]

Surprised no one has mentioned it earlier, I find the most annoying phrase to emerge in the last few years is " No knocks or bangs" , what does it even mean? I dont think Ive ever had a car that bangs!

 

[Rustybullethole]

It was fine four years ago when I drove it into that bush.

[New POD]

16 minutes ago, backache said:

Surprised no one has mentioned it earlier, I find the most annoying phrase to emerge in the last few years is " No knocks or bangs" , what does it even mean? I dont think Ive ever had a car that bangs!

 

I have

 

[Ben_O]

There is a guy near me that sells used cars regularly through Facebook and he always uses the phrase 'no crybabies or time wasters' and usually a barrage of other random insults aimed at potential time wasters.

I understand he has done this because he is fed up of people wasting his time (or more likely walking away from a shit car he has advertised as being good) but I won't entertain viewing a car if the seller comes across as rude and unpleasant In the advert.

If I'm looking to buy a car, all I want to see in the advert is the make/model of the car, the mileage, details of any faults, how much mot it has and any services history.          That and some clear photos and of course the price

I don't want to know how far you've driven in it nor why you are selling it and I certainly don't need to know anything about its previous keepers or how good it is for it's age, i have eyes so I'll decide for myself

[lesapandre]

Sellers:

"Average condition for miles" - totally meaningless.

"Service history lost"

Buyers:

"Is that the original milege?" That on some 40 year old barge I'm selling for a pittance. I've no idea -your guess is as good as mine.

[HMC]

“It’s never done that before” 

Could be true, but sellers credibility immediately under scrutiny, and general bad vibes about the situation.

[HMC]

I was selling a city rover which I believed to be in sound mechanical order, and the prospective buyer was convinced I was trying to con them into buying a car with a dodgy head gasket.  On gumtree.
 

They acted like I was a total master criminal/ con artist. Never found out if it was a play to chip the price as I refused to sell it to them . IIRC I later weighed it in as life is too short to be dealing with that shit over a £350 car

[maxxo]

wait you people actually view a car before you buy it?

i always just transfer the money and see what the hell i've just bought

[RoverFolkUs]

Whenever I'm viewing a car I've already bought it in my head because I've already thought through all the "what if's" before picking up the phone 😂

[maxxo]

21 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Whenever I'm viewing a car I've already bought it in my head because I've already thought through all the "what if's" before picking up the phone 😂

I’ve got anxiety 

for me not to buy a car, it would have to be so bad or on fire

id buy a nail if it avoided confrontation 

[stuboy]

.... it was a minter before the crash...

[83C]

3 minutes ago, stuboy said:

.... it was a minter before the crash...

And along the same lines,

”Ran well before the cambelt snapped.” 

Fucking brilliant, shame it’s now fucked.

[GeordieInExile]

5 hours ago, HMC said:

“It’s never done that before” 

Could be true, but sellers credibility immediately under scrutiny, and general bad vibes about the situation.

This is exactly what I came in to post.

If it makes a weird noise or does something out of the ordinary, I want to not be surprised having been told it's going to do it before I set off for a test drive.

[New POD]

14 hours ago, Ben_O said:

There is a guy near me that sells used cars regularly through Facebook and he always uses the phrase 'no crybabies or time wasters' and usually a barrage of other random insults aimed at potential time wasters.

I understand he has done this because he is fed up of people wasting his time (or more likely walking away from a shit car he has advertised as being good) but I won't entertain viewing a car if the seller comes across as rude and unpleasant In the advert.

If I'm looking to buy a car, all I want to see in the advert is the make/model of the car, the mileage, details of any faults, how much mot it has and any services history.          That and some clear photos and of course the price

I don't want to know how far you've driven in it nor why you are selling it and I certainly don't need to know anything about its previous keepers or how good it is for it's age, i have eyes so I'll decide for myself

I sold a mk2 fiesta 1.1 popular car derived van with rear side windows and a GL interior once. What clinched it for the buyer, was my wife saying, "We've been all over England in it.  We even drove to Snowdon., and Inverness." 

And the fact that the reason we were selling it was she was 4 months Pregnant and it didn't have rear seat belts. 

 

[sierraman]

14 hours ago, HMC said:

“It’s never done that before” 

Could be true, but sellers credibility immediately under scrutiny, and general bad vibes about the situation.

I did once use that before when a Mk3 Mondeo Diesel I was selling broke down on the test drive. Amazingly the guy was still interested.

[warch]

1 hour ago, New POD said:

I sold a mk2 fiesta 1.1 popular car derived van with rear side windows and a GL interior once. What clinched it for the buyer, was my wife saying, "We've been all over England in it.  We even drove to Snowdon., and Inverness." 

And the fact that the reason we were selling it was she was 4 months Pregnant and it didn't have rear seat belts. 

 

That probably had the air of unforced honesty about it though. There is often a fair degree of mutual suspicion surrounding a used car purchase, more usually associated with a Mexican standoff or a hostage handover, both sides suspect the other of duplicity. 
 

Compare and contrast with my last motorcycle purchase. The owner was quite critical of his bike apologising because the paint finish was poor (crazing on the plastic tank) and suggesting it had cold starting problems. I ended up arguing that that was perfectly ok, especially for a desirable litre bike costing a little over a grand. 

 

[Shedking]

I remember some of the winning  quotes in AT back in the 80s for dealers selling cars in the sub £1000 section 

Lots if flash for little cash

Be quick with this one

Condition can only be described as showroom 

This won't be here long

Older but wiser

This was pre Internet days of course so all you had to go on was usually one picture, but cars were rarely as described. 

 

[Split_Pin]

I went to view an 02 plate Astra Coupe Turbo way back in 2009. It looked decent but when I got there the exhaust was billowing white smoke and it had no boost. 

Despite the seller, a spoilt, odious little weed of a man insisting that it was fine, he proclaimed in literally the next sentence that he 'wasn't really an engines man'. 

Obviously I walked away. Well, when I say walked, drove 400 miles in a hired Nissan Note back up to Scotland. Once I was around the corner he had the cheek to text me and accuse me of being a time waster, even though I'd wasted money on fuel, time and car hire travelling 400 miles to see a car that was described as mint. 

Nasty wee cunt.

[sierraman]

4 hours ago, Split_Pin said:

I went to view an 02 plate Astra Coupe Turbo way back in 2009. It looked decent but when I got there the exhaust was billowing white smoke and it had no boost. 

Despite the seller, a spoilt, odious little weed of a man insisting that it was fine, he proclaimed in literally the next sentence that he 'wasn't really an engines man'. 

Obviously I walked away. Well, when I say walked, drove 400 miles in a hired Nissan Note back up to Scotland. Once I was around the corner he had the cheek to text me and accuse me of being a time waster, even though I'd wasted money on fuel, time and car hire travelling 400 miles to see a car that was described as mint. 

Nasty wee cunt.

You should have just said ‘I’m not much of a cunt man so I’ll not waste any more of your time...’ 🤣

[RoverFolkUs]

"Only selling as someone has crashed into me and I don't have the time to fix it" 

Isn't that what insurance is for m8..?

If you're £2k further deep into it as of 2 weeks ago, surely it would be a good idea to make it a priority and find the time to seek some recompense via insurance? 

TLDR: "I don't have the time to..." [xyz] - it's fucked, and/or it's dodgy as shit

The wheel switcherooing inspires confidence as well!

[Datsuncog]

On 2/19/2023 at 9:05 AM, Shedking said:

"Condition can only be described as showroom"

The showroom in question:

[Pieman]

/\ I want to buy that place and turn it into an Autoshite museum.

[sierraman]

9 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

"Only selling as someone has crashed into me and I don't have the time to fix it" 

Isn't that what insurance is for m8..?

If you're £2k further deep into it as of 2 weeks ago, surely it would be a good idea to make it a priority and find the time to seek some recompense via insurance? 

TLDR: "I don't have the time to..." [xyz] - it's fucked, and/or it's dodgy as shit

The wheel switcherooing inspires confidence as well!

That rattling is definitely not the DMF...