Not quite shite Scudo van

[djoptix]

Thought I'd start a thread for my new, and definitely shite, Expert van. It looks like this from the front.

 

Now let me preface everything that will follow in this thread with the fact that I paid £1035 for it delivered to me with 11.5 months MOT so it was a bit of a bargain, as long as it keeps working for 11.5 months I suppose. However, it does have some foibles that the seller might have glossed over a little bit. The description said "central locking works, rear slam lock can be a bit finicky". What that actually meant was "central locking works from the drivers door but not the passenger side, rear and nearside slamlocks can be opened with literally anything (screwdriver, any key, your penis) whether the van is "locked" or not, offside slamlock won't allow the key in but will still open with a screwdriver, key, penis etc".

So I now have a work van which I cannot lock. Fucking brilliant.

What shall I do? Does anyone know where I can get a set of replacement slamlocks for less than half the price of the van?

This is one of the locks removed and disassembled.

 

Ideally, I want three of the round silver bits, keyed alike, with some sort of cam on the back so I can hook it into the lock mechanism. This would mean that the van can always be opened, regardless of whether it is "locked", but only with the key.

Or, the alternative is to find a complete set of locks and handles from a breaker, and get rid of the slam locks (revert to external door handles) - but I think some of the central locking gubbins has been removed from the rear doors so then it just wouldn't lock at all... like now.

For some reason all my PSA vehicles with a Citroen badge on have been brilliant, and the Peugeot equivalents have been shit...

[mintwth]

😉

[djoptix]

Just now, mintwth said:

😉

You colossally helpful* gentleman*.

 

I think what I have is thesehttps://garrisonlocks.co.uk/van-locks-security-products-c1/garrison-slamlocks-c11/garrison-locks-citroen-dispatch-garrison-slamlocks-1994-2006-p2703
 

But they're £220 a set. Fuck that

[wuvvum]

Replacement "normal" locks are available quite cheaply for those - they are notoriously shit so a common failure point.

[Matty]

How good is the van? If its solid enough then considering how shit modern vans are then surely its worth spending the money on the locks when you've got your tools etc in it. As long as its not mega miles and not structurally bolloxed then it could be a long termed.

Ace things these by the way, I had an earlier scudo for work years ago. Comfortable and reliable. Loved it.

[djoptix]

Just now, wuvvum said:

Replacement "normal" locks are available quite cheaply for those - they are notoriously shit so a common failure point.

Define "quite cheaply" and link please if you have one

[wuvvum]

[djoptix]

Ah that sort. I have looked at those. But they're made to be retained in sheet metal and won't fit in the slam lock panels which are about 5mm thick.

[djoptix]

https://garrisonlocks.co.uk/van-locks-security-products-c1/slam-handle-kits-c44/garrison-locks-garrison-slam-handle-kit-citroen-dispatch-pre-07-3-door-pack-p1020

That's what I have. That kit includes the panels that replace the factory door handles.

I'm going to call Garrison tomorrow but I don't think they will supply the cylinders on their own.

[wuvvum]

Ah, OK, I didn't realise the slam locks were fitted instead of standard locks.  The vans I've had with slam locks have had them fitted alongside the originals.

[Weird Car]

Could always go down the route I did with my old Maxus, it’d probably only work on the back doors though lol 😂

[wuvvum]

Ah so you were responsible for that!  😂

It now has one of these:

1 hour ago, mintwth said:

😉

and I've expertly* filled in the holes in the doors.  Still have the padlock and chain somewhere though.

[Weird Car]

2 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

Ah so you were responsible for that!  😂

It now has one of these:

and I've expertly* filled in the holes in the doors.  Still have the padlock and chain somewhere though.

Like everything on that van it was only meant to be a temporary fix but ended up staying 😂

[djoptix]

16 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

Ah, OK, I didn't realise the slam locks were fitted instead of standard locks.  The vans I've had with slam locks have had them fitted alongside the originals.

Yes. In a way that would make a lot more sense.

The way this one has been done, you get all of the mechanical unreliability of the original system (very long linkages made of too-thin bits of wire) but with the added bonus* that when the slam locks fail, you've bypassed the central locking so it can be opened with anything 🙄

[djoptix]

28 minutes ago, Matty said:

How good is the van? If its solid enough then considering how shit modern vans are then surely its worth spending the money on the locks when you've got your tools etc in it. As long as its not mega miles and not structurally bolloxed then it could be a long termed.

Ace things these by the way, I had an earlier scudo for work years ago. Comfortable and reliable. Loved it.

How good is it - hmm. As mentioned, it was a good price. But I'm not feeling very fond of it at the moment. Apart from anything else, the interior was/is fucking disgusting, which is always a bit depressing on any newly purchased vehicle. The amount of man/dog grime on every surface is just unbelievable. I ran one wipe over the top of the binnacle just a few times and it was completely black.

The gearbox is like stirring a vat of cat food with a scaff pole. Crunches going into second. Lift up reverse doesn't work so it's very easy to put it in reverse at the lights - such fun! Gearknob has fallen off. Radio doesn't work. Airbag light is on so I don't know how it got an MOT. OS wing mirror has glass secured with gaffa tape so it only points at the floor. Water pours into the footwells when it rains and also gets in somewhere and soaks the headliner. Bulkhead is missing (but at the moment that's a good thing because you have to open the rear doors from the inside). Odometer is blank so could have been to the moon and back. Drivers seat is through to the metal. Rust starting everywhere though nothing structural. And it's fucking slow, god help anyone owning the NA version.

It was a good price in the current market and it's largely mechanically good. Maybe I'll warm to it...

[wuvvum]

6 minutes ago, djoptix said:

The gearbox is like stirring a vat of cat food with a scaff pole. Crunches going into second. Lift up reverse doesn't work so it's very easy to put it in reverse at the lights - such fun! Gearknob has fallen off. Radio doesn't work. Airbag light is on so I don't know how it got an MOT. OS wing mirror has glass secured with gaffa tape so it only points at the floor. Water pours into the footwells when it rains and also gets in somewhere and soaks the headliner. Bulkhead is missing (but at the moment that's a good thing because you have to open the rear doors from the inside). Odometer is blank so could have been to the moon and back. Drivers seat is through to the metal. Rust starting everywhere though nothing structural. And it's fucking slow, god help anyone owning the NA version.

That all sounds like fairly standard stuff for a well-used one of these, other than being slow - these normally go pretty well, maybe it needs some fettling?  Airbag light could just be a dodgy under-seat connection or something - maybe got wet due to the water in the footwells?

[djoptix]

Just now, wuvvum said:

That all sounds like fairly standard stuff for a well-used one of these, other than being slow - these normally go pretty well, maybe it needs some fettling?

Yes, I think it probably is really. And mostly easily fixed. The locks are a real pisser though, that's the only thing I'm actually unhappy with. I'll enjoy sorting all the other stuff out but the fact that it's completely insecure is not acceptable.

Re the slowness, I think these have a damper on the throttle pedal which I need to remove. It's not that much slower than my Synergie was. It's probably about the same speed as my XUD Synergie was, the one which @Eddie Honda now has.

[grogee]

It's horrible, well done. BiL had one of those before his disgusting Trafic. It was equally shit, and ended its life by dropping the engine/gearbox partially out of the engine bay. His was a 1.9NA (No Acceleration).

Good luck with the locks conundrum. I had an 806 (close relation) and remember doing something with the locks, probably replacing barrells. It wasn't terrible I suppose but I don't have particularly fond memories of it. I think the last straw was the leaking zorst manifold that I couldn't reach to fix. 2.0pez, close relation to GTI 1.9 engine I believe. 

[warch]

We had one of these work (might have been the Citroen badged version). I thought the turbo was borked until it transpired that it didn't actually have one. Really slow on the open road, might do 60 if you absolutely thrash it. On the upside it was amazingly tough and reliable, allowing for 15 years hard use as an archaeology unit mule until we moved it on. I think they have a following (usually a lot of people trying to get past).

[djoptix]

I am warming to it a bit. It's better now that I've cleaned the dash, I don't feel quite so disgusting driving it. Gear change has been improved by throwing away the knob.

[grogee]

1 hour ago, djoptix said:

I am warming to it a bit. It's better now that I've cleaned the dash, I don't feel quite so disgusting driving it. Gear change has been improved by throwing away the knob.

Was it Mansell who drove a race (Monaco?) with a broken gear lever? Got out of the car with bleeding hand...

Anyway you're in good company I think. I'd be interested to see your bodge to prevent hand trauma. Does it involve electrical tape?

[Lacquer Peel]

Great vans. I love my XUD Expert. 

The gear change on mine is ok as the previous owner went through everything to cure the third gear crunch bar replacing the gearbox. 

[2flags]

The Post Office have these. I can confirm that the build quality is less than optimal. The interiors don't seem to last that well. That and the fact that they are battered to shite.  As to the padlocks, if it works, why knock it?

23 hours ago, mintwth said:

😉

 

[wuvvum]

9 hours ago, grogee said:

I think the last straw was the leaking zorst manifold that I couldn't reach to fix. 2.0pez, close relation to GTI 1.9 engine I believe. 

Engine access is a twat on them.  I scrapped my last one because the head gasket went - it was an engine out job and as far as I could tell the engine had to come out through the bottom, so no way I could do it myself and not worth paying a garage to do it.  Shame as that was a nice van - had electric windows and cruise control, quite posh for a van of its age.

[grogee]

8 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

Engine access is a twat on them.  I scrapped my last one because the head gasket went - it was an engine out job and as far as I could tell the engine had to come out through the bottom, so no way I could do it myself and not worth paying a garage to do it.  Shame as that was a nice van - had electric windows and cruise control, quite posh for a van of its age.

I think my 806 may have had those things. It had A/C but obviously it didn't work because France. 

The engine was a twat (in terms of access) and I'm glad I didn't try harder having heard your tale. 

[djoptix]

I am grudgingly quite liking this van. Yes there are all sorts of things that are less than 100% about it, but it starts first time every time even at minus 8, and it gets lovely and warm. And you can get a lot of stuff in it, and I had a snowy adventure in it yesterday driving through the Cotswolds. It's quite economical.

[Matty]

Remember all modern vans are shit. Keep it going

[Cavcraft]

5 minutes ago, Matty said:

Remember all modern vans are shit. Keep it going

True story.

 

@djoptix Is it just the very back door on yours that has those security type locks? Mine has them on the side doors too, but the spare one is a key type.  You can put a ratchet strap from side to side (behind driver and passenger seats) which might effect a slightly less chance of a break in. 

[Rustybullethole]

Fitted a Yale lock to my scudo when the side door went. Fitted straight in the factory hole.

edit; just recalled my side door had been barrelled prior to my ownership. It could be locked it’s a screwdriver after you had reached through and locked the van via the passenger inside lock mech. Getting in was the reverse and I added the Yale lock to take the place of the screwdriver. 
 

As said the locks are crap in these. If you out the key in the drivers lock on mine you could be there forever trying to extract it after it failed to lock or unlock the van.

[djoptix]

I should explain about the locks.

On most vans, when slamlocks are fitted, they are fitted in addition to the existing door handles and locks, but on this one there is a kit which Garrison do which replaces the whole of the door handle/lock assembly with a beefy plate, with the key lock in it.

https://garrisonlocks.co.uk/van-locks-security-products-c1/slam-handle-kits-c44/garrison-locks-garrison-slam-handle-kit-peugeot-expert-pre-07-3-door-pack-p1022

The good thing about this is that as others have mentioned, the standard handles and locks on these are a bit crap, so the Garrison kit makes it extra secure and does away with the crappy standard locks.

On mine, these lock plates are installed, but the barrels for the Garrison locks themselves are fucked. So

• I can't just remove the slamlocks because there aren't any normal handles any more
• The Garrison locks can be opened with anything
• So I've had to remove the lock barrels to make it secure again
• Which means the rear doors (2 x sliding doors and the back doors) cannot be opened from the outside - I have to open the front door, then open the side door from the inside, then if necessary lean over and open the back door from the inside as well
• That means I can't install a bulkhead because I wouldn't be able to reach the inside of the rear doors

etc etc etc.

I need to choose to either:

1. Revert to a set of normal locks, which would have the advantage of being able to open from the outside, but the disadvantage that they're likely to go wrong again in the future; also the disadvantage that the standard locks are less resistant to Britain's travelling classes than the Garrison ones
2. Buy a new set of Garrison barrels at £220 and try and make them work with whatever hardware is left in the door - I suspect the CL motors are gone.

Having said all of that, given that this van doesn't have the bulkhead fitted, it's not really the end of the world having to open the doors from the outside.