Shite Christmas

[Bren]

What shite have you asked Santa for?

Tools? Miniature shite? Shite reading?

Discuss.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

A front exhaust section....

[tooSavvy]

Anyone written a 'laugh-a-long' $h1ters  "12 Days of Christmas"?

I'll chip in with "Two DeeArrElll...." ☺️

*not fitted YET >>> as The 'Princess of Kowloon Unicorn Metal Folding Corp' dispatch dept only mailed ONE 🤐

[sierraman]

I’ll start...

12 bent valves...

11 broken rockers...

10 days waiting for Auto Doc...

 

[rob88h]

Fiiiiive piston riiiings

[vulgalour]

four blown head gaskets

three kicked over drain pans

two lost ten mil sockets

and a fail sheet three pages long

[tooSavvy]

4 minutes ago, rob88h said:

Fiiiiive piston riiiings

Fiiiiive ALDI riiiings (for all our AVAS lickers!)

[warch]

12 brake drums seizing,

11 fuel pipes leaking,

10 drivebelts squealing,

9 bearings moaning,

8 sumps a dripping,

7 welds a cooling,

6 geezers haggling,

5 ooooooo rings!

4 dodgy tyres,

3 french cars,

2 turtle wax,

and an MoT at two!

[tooSavvy]

On my first visit to Arny Shark the salesman said to me ".....
Do you want >>>
12month MoT?
11 service stamps?
10,000 annual?
9 point check?
8 month breakdown?
7 days cooling off?
6 floor mats?
5 Full Alloy Weeelllzzz......
4 locking nuts?
3 Interior lights?
2 Dee Arrr Ellll?
......& A 'feu orange', just for FREE

[rob88h]

2 hours ago, warch said:

3 french cars,

2 turtle wax,

Alan Partridge in Eight-Twentee

[Image credit Google blah blah]

[stuboy]

ive actually not asked for anything... suggestions guy and gals please.

[Dyslexic Viking]

I've asked for. the weber carburetor to be mounted on the Audi. And for a pretty lady who is a car mechanic and can weld.

[stuboy]

12 hours ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

And for a pretty lady who is a car mechanic

 

[tooSavvy]

^ ^ ^ ...... ooof! She takes big nuts quite seriously! 😵

[Eyersey1234]

I asked Santa for a dashcam but he told me to fuck off and said I could have a piece of coal instead 😂😂

[Tadhg Tiogar]

I'm dreaming of a shite Christmas, 

Just like the ones we never* had,

Where your fluid's leaking 

And springs are creaking, 

And something's stuffing up your rad.

 

I'm dreaming of a shite Christmas  

Your coolant hose is gonna blow, 

May your bearings be over-tight,

And may all your Christmases be shite.

[Sloth in a bowl]

And an Escort in a pear tree*

*Tree may not have pears

[Leyland Worldmaster]

4 hours ago, Sloth in a bowl said:

And an Escort in a pear tree*

*Tree may not have pears

I see that land owner is branching out... 

[tooSavvy]

Santa dun him rite 🥰

[sierraman]

On 11/24/2021 at 8:53 PM, stuboy said:

 

You’ll need a bigger one than that for the viscous fan. 

[mintwth]

On 11/24/2021 at 8:53 PM, stuboy said:

 

Caution! May remove your nuts! 

[puddlethumper]

4 hours ago, sierraman said:

You’ll need a bigger one than that for the viscous fan. 

I don't know. She looks big enough to me.

[TheOtherStu]

I'd actually like a Haynes manual for an S204 Mercedes.
There 😂 I said it.

Might need some roof bars. Annoyingly, I've only just let a set of generic estate roofbars go about 6 months ago.

I currently have......

A set of genuine Vauxhall Mokka ones.

A set of non-genuine BMW 3 series ones

And another set, but I'm not sure what I bought them for. Probably the Mercedes GLA. I don't think they fit generic roof rails, but they might....