Hirst Cabs (Motoring Chaos Edition)

[Guest]

Well, I'd arranged to go pick up my new car, only to be greeted by a load of snow. Not ideal - but due to work absence/sickness levels it really had to be today, otherwise I wouldn't get it until God knows when.

 

 

So I managed to get a lift off my dad in his Avensis to the station, but we started heading up a hill in it (Broadway, Wakefield fans) and it wasn't going to work - loads of abandoned BMWs and Audis, but I was surprised an Avensis diesel couldn't take it. Ah well! So we took a more awkward route. Given that going into Dewsbury involves going down a big hill, I was dropped off at a bus stop instead and I took the 127 bus.

 

 

That's to Bangor, but never mind. The bus duly arrived and ferried me and a load of unemployable people into Dewsbury.

 

 

I was going to find a fairly nice photo of the place, but this one is funnier. Anyway, I walked through Dewsbury to get to the train station and bought a one-way ticket to Manchester Picadilly.

 

PART TWO TO FOLLOW!

[Mike D]

You made it back then!! Excellent. D HIRST: 1 - SNOW CHAOS: 0

[mouseflakes]

Can't wait - do we get to see photos of melted snow knocked from yer boots all over the nice rubber carpets?

[reallyloud]

This better be good. I've taken a day off sick and not had a shower in 2 days for this.

[Guest]

 

So I waited and waited for my train whilst the snow kept coming down, was one of those situations where the time ticks onwards but the length of the delay matches it so you're going nowhere. Adverse weather conditions. We apologise for the blah blah etc. I bought a recently-made chicken and bacon sarnie from the station shop, which was a surprisingly competitive £2. Perhaps they haven't figured out that they can just charge what they like yet.

 

 

Anyway, the train turned up and I was actually able to get a seat and not have to sit next to anyone! I watched the traffic on roads as the train went past - cars sliding all over the place, parked up on the kerb at funny angles, police cars, stranded lorries. Great!

 

 

Arrived at Manchester Piccadilly. Was going to possibly get a lift off WATANABE but his work wanted him in. I went outside and saw an Avensis taxi slide backwards down a hill, then went back inside. Probably for the best if he didn't have to come over here really. So I sorted my £1.80 ticket out and awaited the train to the station near this bloke's house instead.

 

 

This train was slightly more shabby - it was going to Crewe, no wonder! Ha ha. Anyway, I was on the train for a whole 10 minutes, there was some really strange-looking woman who looked a bit mad so I'm glad I didn't stick around. She had leopard skin pattern trousers! What a weirdo.

 

 

The station didn't look anything like this. It had about 3-4 inches of snow on the platform, it's one of those rubbish stations barely anyone uses. Especially not today. Got out onto the streets and the roads looked a bit slushy, but cars were driving down them! Excellent.

 

PART THREE SHORTLY!

[trigger]

This picture just made me piss myself, excellent!

[Guest]

I am so fucking gutted I couldn't come and see your latest acquisition.Seriously, some sick drifts in the snow would have made more sense than gently fuming at work, sitting in an office with a broken system and management refusing to let anyone go home.

[Guest]

 

Don't know where these streets are, but they looked a bit like this. Could be worse. The main thing is that they are largely flat. Found my way using the most pathetic hand-drawn street map I could possibly have mustered. Basically I went on Google Maps and spent about 12 seconds drawing it. Worked though, I found his place.

 

 

I don't have a picture of his house, so here's House. Anyway, I was quite pleased as he was on a main road leading to the M60 - gritted, traffic going down it, looks like I'm going to be OK! Except the Laurel isn't there. Knock on his door, meet him, nice enough chap. Tells me that he's parked it near work and we'll have to go dig it out. Please don't be using the term in the literal sense! He then picks up a spade. Oh, balls.

 

 

We roll up in one of his other motors and walk the rest of his way - turns out it has been parked on a slight incline on a pretty snowy road. Not too bad then. And it's mint! He fires it up and we start removing the snow. The plan is for him to reverse it onto the gritted road.

 

 

Whilst we do this, an old man in a Fiesta attempts to go up this hill - wheelspinning away in first and getting nowhere. He eventually rolls down to the bottom and whilst I'm guiding the Laurel out, giffer-features starts going on about front wheel drive cars being rubbish. How odd.

 

 

It drives back to his place brilliantly, no problems. We get back to his and sort payment out. He shows me that it has one of those really cool "bleep" alarms like someone would have in an American film in 1993. I like it. One point I now find out is that it has enough gas in the tank to get me home - good job as it doesn't have petrol, that was just brought through by the DVLA details. It's gas-only! Weird.

 

PART FOUR COMING SOON!

[M'coli]

Gas-only? Get onto DVLA about that, it should mean cheaper road tax. This is an epic shite-buying trip!

[Rod/b]

£10 a year discount.

[retrogeezer]

it was going to Crewe, no wonder

Oi Hirst - NO!!!

 

 

Looking forward to P3.

[Guest]

 

So I get in the car and start driving - it's great! The power steering doesn't work, but it feels no heavier than the Charmant really. Proceeded straight to the M60 where I saw a jack-knifed lorry on the other side and a load of police cars, which wasn't the best start.

 

 

Got off the M60 and onto the M62. It's snowing, but it's also really quiet. Almost eerie. I can confirm at this stage that fender mirrors actually give fantastic visibility on motorways, not that I'm really doing any overtaking.

 

 

Encounter a few enforced limits. The speedo is in km/h so I refer to my handy "conversion tool".

 

 

Pulled into Birch Services, but the car park was full of snow and I saw various people struggling with their cars. Didn't want to have to end up helping them, so I drove off again. C U L8R!

 

 

Go past that farm on the M62 and the road conditions were good and the traffic had thinned out so much that I decide to see if it was true that this car has an overspeed chime like so many Japanese cars of the era. Planted my foot to the floor and watched the speedo roll up to around 110km/h - BING BONG, BING BONG, BING BONG! Yes!! Then I slowed down again to avoid killing myself.

 

 

Bit bored by now so I start fiddling around with things. Can't get the meter working. Radio works fine though. Turn it back off - need to concentrate. Serious now. The M1 is coming up.

 

PART NEXT TO COME YES WHENEVER

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Hey, if there are any jibes about Crewe in part 4, I am complaining to wakefield county council

[Guest]

 

I reach Hartshead Moor Services which are much the same as before, though I do find an area near the truck park where I can get out and take out a huge big chunk of snow out from under the wiper that stopped it going down all the way. It was doing my head in!

 

 

Also amused myself by looking at the stickers on the back door. And operating the driver-operated lever which both opens and shuts said door. Nice. Might do that whilst driving down the motorway one day, see what happens.

 

 

This should light up, didn't have time to mess around with it though. So I set off back on the M62 and readied myself for the inevitable M1 changeover - the M1 was more busy.

 

LAST PART NEXT!

[Cavcraft]

This thread ROCKS A PHAT 1!Did the dude who sold it to you have long hair/pony tail as that what the bloke looked like who was driving it when I saw it in Chester the other week?That crash on the M60 was a fatality unfortunately, two lorries had collided.You did bloody well to get back to be honest as all we've been hearing all day is how bad the roads are on the route you took and the majority of drivers didn't make it in today.

[Guest]

 

The M1 was as you'd expect - spray everywhere, lorries leaving no gap from each other, Audi A3 1.9 TDis doing 100mph. Luckily I'm only on it briefly.

 

 

And this is where it comes full-circle. I drive through the rather horrible snowy roads of Wakefield, get onto my street and feel quite proud that I didn't get stuck. Apart from at the end of my street - needed to dig it out with a spade to do a three-point turn. Balls!

 

 

The end!

[Station]

Did it come with the little sphere on the top (or is that detachable)?

[Milford Cubicle]

Awesome purchase and report!Is everything alright apart from the power assisted steering?

[pogweasel]

LEGENDARY & HEROIC!!!1!Hirst Cabs : Osaka 347777

[Guest]

To answer the questions.....Cavette: Yeah he did, that was him. Motorways were fine really, it's just all the "surface streets" which are indeed terrible.Station: The sphere is in the boot, it's removable.Milf: Yeah, it's in quite spectacular condition really!

[seth]

See, summer time car collecting roadtrips are always so dull. Well done on braving the chaotic chaos!

[Pete-M]

Respect to Hirst-san.

[Father Ted]

[Mr_Bo11ox]

OMG TRAVEL CHAOS BRITAIN! thousands stranded etc.

[Mr H Sceptre]

What a great report Mr Hirst!Loving thhe Japanese writing on the side of the car, & the stickers. It would be cool if you could get the meter working as well.Good work sir.

[Lukas]

Phantastic story!

 

[RedSparrow]

Yeah! Woo!!

[Heep]

Great story! And so much better with pictures, stories are always better with pictures.

[Rusty Pelican]

Fab story , very envious of the car , you must keep all the stickers etc

[wuvvum]

Nice one Hirst. My Townace has an overspeed chime as well, but that kicks in at 100 km/h - maybe the speed limit for MPVs in Japan is lower than for cars?