Further adventures of The Very Naughty Alfa, as it is now known

[djoptix]

First mode of transport. 

[djoptix]

Gateway to the North! For me, anyway... 

 

The car park is jammed*.

 

My second means of transport was just pulling in as I crossed the footbridge. 

[djoptix]

Let's get the formalities out of the way - 

Poo count: 2 so far today.

[djoptix]

Minutes I have been gone for: 29

Estuaries I am now on the other side of: 1

Calls from Mrs Optix letting me know she has ALREADY FUCKING LOCKED HERSELF AND THE KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE: 1

[djoptix]

Wales achieved! It's raining. 

 

Minutes I was on that train: 18

Minutes to wait for next train: 40

[gm]

19 minutes ago, djoptix said:

 

Poo count: 2 so far today.

I hope these two are not connected ! 

40 minutes ago, djoptix said:

 

 

[djoptix]

I was going to ask the nice man if I could leave the station while I wait to go to McDonald's, but he looks like he does murdering so I'm not going to. I'll just skulk on the platform and try and work out where I should stand to get the best chance of a table seat on the next train. 

[djoptix]

I can't understand a word of this. It's like those Welsh have a different word for everything. 

[djoptix]

I suspect some lessons have been learned here. 

[Fumbler]

1 minute ago, djoptix said:

I suspect some lessons have been learned here. 

Methinks the same. All the GWR stations I've been into have these though, haven't seen it anywhere else

 

[Skizzer]

9 minutes ago, djoptix said:

I can't understand a word of this. It's like those Welsh have a different word for everything. 

You’ll notice that we don’t have a word for ‘first class’ though. Or ‘available’, for that matter.

It’s tough round here.

[djoptix]

2 minutes ago, Skizzer said:

You’ll notice that we don’t have a word for ‘first class’ though. Or ‘available’, for that matter.

It’s tough round here.

True - and to be honest I'm suspicious that you might have copied your word for “platform" off the English as well. 

[Skizzer]

5 minutes ago, djoptix said:

True - and to be honest I'm suspicious that you might have copied your word for “platform" off the English as well. 

That’s possible. (Welsh: posibl. I’m not making that up.)

Could be the other way round, mind.

 

[Wack]

12 minutes ago, djoptix said:

True - and to be honest I'm suspicious that you might have copied your word for “platform" off the English as well. 

My favourite has always been Ambulance : ambiwlans and if you see more than one it's ambiwlansys , there's a possibility they could've been copied from English too 

 

[PhilA]

Eth eth eth awrchhhCCHHHARCCCH tele-vis-ee-on.

 

Anything that was designed, built or conceived after 1850 in Wales just has its name in pidgin-English. Particularly anything high technology.

I do like "microwave oven".

Popty-ping. Oven that goes ping.

 

" Magical witchcraft box that does not heat forks up without lightning and smoke" was probably the alternative.

Phil

[djoptix]

Fucksake! The train stopped bloody miles away! Also it's some kind of diesel rail car rather than a proper train. 

 

There are no power points and there's a bodily fluid of some sort on the opposite table. 

 

I actually love Wales, but Transport For Wales is grim. 

[Crackers]

Just now, djoptix said:

Ffucksake

EFA

[djoptix]

Ththankyyuch. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

52 minutes ago, djoptix said:

....Calls from Mrs Optix letting me know she has ALREADY FUCKING LOCKED HERSELF AND THE KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE: 1

 

45 minutes ago, djoptix said:

Wales achieved! ...

Not a lot you can do about that 😂

[Tadhg Tiogar]

37 minutes ago, djoptix said:

I can't understand a word of this. It's like those Welsh have a different word for everything. 

I'm sure you know what cwrwnafeirws is...

[djoptix]

There's a surprise.

 

Since I'm on this train for two hours I thought I'd watch Netflix  Nettfflix. But TFW Rail Services Wifi can't even load Speedtest.

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Just now, djoptix said:

There's a surprise.

 

Since I'm on this train for two hours I thought I'd watch Netflix  Nettfflix. But TFW Rail Services Wifi can't even load Speedtest.

If it's any consolation, this was also a significant problem on Virgin Rail, when I used to travel on their services....

[Crackers]

39 minutes ago, djoptix said:

I can't understand a word of this. It's like those Welsh have a different word for everything. 

"Manceinion Picc" = Manchester Piccadilly, presumably.

I assume they got as far as "Picc", thought fuck this and gave up before it all became a big pudding of Cs, Ds and Ls:

Manceinion Ppiccaddilllly

[djoptix]

2 minutes ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

If it's any consolation, this was also a significant problem on Virgin Rail, when I used to travel on their services....

I fixed* it by telling my computer to look at their router for DNS, instead of openDNS.

 

Look at the state of that. No HD porn for me. In fact I'll be lucky if I can access ASCII porn.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Bad luck there

[djoptix]

Snack #1. 

[djoptix]

Infinite Autoshite project? 

[djoptix]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

 

[djoptix]

There is a big suspicious lump in my peanuts.

Having given it some thought I reckon it's either

• a congealed lump of awesome tasting honey roast coating loveliness, which has fallen off the packing machine or something
• a mouse.

Shall I eat it?

 

 

...if it's a mouse can I still eat the other peanuts?

[Rocket88]

Mouse has already eaten the peanuts.... so will taste lovely