The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

I love paying increased premiums so that some fat chav can live off their 'whiplash and bad back' payout to buy their lovely new plasma tv

Well!I was once in an accident, I was in the back of my mate's 850 T5 when we pulled up behind a car turning right into a side-road. Seconds later a berk in a Ibiza following must have assumed he could pass right through us, and made no effort to stop. Crunch.I went to hospital as a precaution, no major damage apart from a bruise from the seatbelt on my shoulder, and a stiff neck. Apparently as soon as you mention 'neck' they want you in A&E so they don't get shafted if it later transpires you've broken three vertebra or something. Neck actually was really sore the next morning so I had two days off my main job, and three off my pub job but no fake neck brace or anything dodgy.Anyhow. The Ibiza driver was uninsured and on a provisional licence, and the Ibiza untaxed so my mate claimed on his own insurance, and had to fill out details of his passengers. The MIB (who have a fund to pay out against uninsured drivers) sent me a claim form through for 'loss or injury'.... brilliant I thought! I got a letter from both jobs saying how much I was out of pocket (I work on comission for main job, and pub job didn't pay when off sick) and it came to about £120-odd and posted it back with the form.They then made me a doctors appointment which I thought a bit odd, since i'd put in the letter I'd completely recovered and was back to work after the weekend following the crash. Doctor checked me over and found nothing wrong, as expected. Apart from a fondness for lard and pies, and a snuffly nose.A few weeks pass, they made me an offer. £1800. WHAAA? I rang to check, they confirmed the amount. I then went on holiday and thus didn't send the form back for a week or so and in that time they assumed I wasn't happy so nudged it up to £2150. So, whilst you hate the litigation-obsessed society and paying out more to keep the MIB fund topped up, would you refuse two grand? I didn't. I'd like to point out again that I claimed for simply loss of earnings - £120 or thereabouts. They decided the trauma and stress that the doctor imagined I must have suffered was worth over two thousand more. So in some cases it's not the scum claiming, it's the scummy system that is geared up to dishing out huge sums of money and the doctors who are probably on bonus depending on how much is paid out.And yes, I actually did buy a LCD telly with it! And paid for a years car insurance up front, something I can never normally afford to do.

[outlaw118]

Completely changing the subject, but does anyone on here LIKE lady gaga? She's never off radio 1 or 2, and a few commercial radio stations too.It's not my thing, yes I'm 39 and all that, but that bloody "Poker Face" tune is in my head and it won't go away.FFS!!!I now listen to about 2 hous of music radio a day, Moyles till ten, the Radio 2 at 10.30 for popmaster, then Talksport or a CD after that.Am I alone in hating the music "scene"?? Is it more shit than it used to be? Drum 'n' bass in yo face etc? R & B used to mean Dr Feelgood and stuff like that, now it's some nobhead with his trousers hanging off his arse going on about his homies. Or am I miserable old fucker, who appears to have turned into his dad?Thanks for listening, I'm off to listen to my own veins.

[Guest]

She's a bit odd-looking, I have no interest in her music at all, but find her vaguely curious as odd-looking people don't usually get to be pop stars. She seems like a nice girl and I would be quite happy to give her a lift in the Stanza if she wanted to get to a local garden centre, steam fair, etc.However if she was sprawled out on the back seat and feeling a bit saucy I'm not quite sure what I'd do to be honest.

[Father Ted]

I now listen to about 2 hous of music radio a day, Moyles till ten,.

You masochist, I mean ( and I dont form this opinion lightly) Moyles is one of the few people on my "woudnt piss on if they were on fire" list. What an utter gobshite.

 

I admit to being totaly out of touch with the music sceene, ever since I left Woolworths in 1990 I have pretty much listened to Radio 4 and lately Radio 7 so my music collection stopped with the Orb's adventures beyond Ultraworld and the KLF's white room, I had to google Lady GaGa..

.

Hmmm, I think Hirsts ideas are about right, lift to say the steram rally but no jiggy buisness...

[Mr Lobster]

^ She definately looks unusual. Not neccesarily unattractive but then not quite right either.Moyles is a cock of the highest order. I would ONLY piss on him were he on fire if I discovered my piss had magically turned to a flammable substance. TBH I don't listen to much music radio these days, its either 5 Live or at the moment a Teach Yourself French CD thing.Outlaw, its not just you, I'm becoming a grumpier old man every day and find the majority of pop music to be utter shite. Girls Aloud are still fit(ish) though.

[pompei]

Are high waist denims coming back?

[Father Ted]

Are high waist denims coming back?

Did they ever go out of fashion?

[Guest]

Girls Aloud are still fit(ish) though.

Now Girls Aloud, I would only have them in the Stanza if I was doing some unlicensed minicabbing. I stand by my earlier comments of them being unappealing, there'd be no driver/passenger banter, in fact I would be very curt.

[Negative Creep]

I love paying increased premiums so that some fat chav can live off their 'whiplash and bad back' payout to buy their lovely new plasma tv

*story*

No, at the end of the day no one will turn down free money. Them offering it to you is somewhat different than making up a whiplash claim though. Happened to someone I know, he hit a car with one person in it and got 4 whiplash claims but couldn't prove otherwise. I've been in a pretty nasty smack as well so know what whiplash is like when you really get it (unable to move your neck and back and not being able to do anything bar lie there and wait for it to get better). Genuine cases I've no problem with, it's the "oh I've got whiplash/bad back/depression give me money as that will make it better" which is something else

[RedSparrow]

I'd like to think that if I 'had an accident that wasn't my fault' I would only sue if the perpertrator was a twat. If they seemed like a decent person I wouldn't bother. I say this as I hit someone up the back once and I am pretty sure that it was due to me being polite and apologetic and her being a decent person that she didn't sue me. I am sure though that if it had been some fat chav I bumped into they would have tried to do me for every penny.

[FredTransit]

Girls Aloud are still fit(ish) though.

Now Girls Aloud, I would only have them in the Stanza if I was doing some unlicensed minicabbing. I stand by my earlier comments of them being unappealing, there'd be no driver/passenger banter, in fact I would be very curt.

All of the members of girls aloud weigh collectively about the same me, and each one of them is about the same width as each of my legs. They are about one pound about total organ failure, you just want to knock them to the ground and force feed them burgers.

[dollywobbler]

Sorry, I like Girls Aloud. Not sure I'd like to necessarily have a chat with them, but Kimberley keeps my ship from sinking, and Cheryl ain't bad really. Nadine's far too skinny though. I'm sure she avoids walking over drains for fear of falling through.

[Alpineandy]

All of the members of girls aloud weigh collectively about the same me,

I assume your calculation is excluding their 'make up'.If you include the slap, they'd each weigh the same as you.Almost all the TV totty uses make up inches thick.I met cleo rocos years back (late eighties) and the only thing that interested me about her (bear in mind she was one of my postergirls ten years earlier) was how she kept that thickness of slap from falling off in chunks......

[FredTransit]

All of the members of girls aloud weigh collectively about the same me,

I assume your calculation is excluding their 'make up'.If you include the slap, they'd each weigh the same as you.Almost all the TV totty uses make up inches thick.I met cleo rocos years back (late eighties) and the only thing that interested me about her (bear in mind she was one of my postergirls ten years earlier) was how she kept that thickness of slap from falling off in chunks......

No that's including the slap, we did their 'The Promise' promo last year, so I saw em close up.....

[Father Ted]

How perculiar, when Lyn Perrie was shouting and swearing at me once, I was thinking something similar.

[outlaw118]

Girls Aloud eh?You do realise that theres a grumpy ginger one in there??!!

[pompei]

How did you upset old Ivy, Ted? Did you spill her pint? (I still have nightmares about her pissed as a fart on that godawful Terry Christian programme - forget its name)

[Father Ted]

How did you upset old Ivy, Ted? Did you spill her pint? (I still have nightmares about her pissed as a fart on that godawful Terry Christian programme - forget its name)

You will be thinking of The Word...I trod on her at Granada Telly back in '90 - by christ could she swear.I should explain, back when i ran a Venture Scout group we were asked to "man the telephones" during one of the ITV Telethon's, and about half elevenish it was our break time, free tea and grub in the canteen, so I was queued up with everyone else waiting for my scram when i took a step backwards and trod on her foot -- at that time I was bout 17 stone- and it must have hurt a bit. She as dressed up in some coctail dress and had a face that looked like Jewson had delivered it by the waggonload..

[pandamonium]

I like the ugly ginger one.

[RedSparrow]

Topic of rant: Twats who sit outside my flat with their turbo and/or diesel engine running thus disturbing the signal on my freeview box.

 

I have just missed the end of the Simpsons due to a small blonde woman who has badly parked her massive BMW 4x4 and sat their with her motor running for 15 minutes while she waits for her fucking equally mornic friend.

This happens all the time round here, usually when there is a programme or film that I really want to see is on.

 

Other parties guilty of ruining my viewing pleasure are:

- drug dealers on the weekend (there is a small park opposite and we are near the town centre)

- gangs of ferel kids on mopeds

 

Thank-you.

[pogweasel]

Rant topic: Tin openers

 

Simples.

 

In the old days, tin openers looked like this:

Worked perfectly, a masterpiece of functionality.

 

However someone some time ago decided that all tin openers should look like this:

These ones are for some reason 'better'

Because they take the whole top including the rim off the can.

 

HOW & WHY THE FUCK IS THIS BETTER????

 

1. New can opener takes off the whole lid inc. rim.

Can now has no structural rigidity and when you apply pressure to grip the can, juice runs out and down your hand

 

2. New can opener takes whole lid off inc rim.

Apparently this removes the 'sharp edge' you used to get inside the rim of the can when using the butterfly opener. This is to some extent correct. However the sharp edge is now ON THE TOP OF THE CAN & THE RIM THAT PROTECTED YOU FROM IT IS GONE. Instant laceraction. Twats.

 

3. New can opener takes whole lid off inc rim.

When you opened canned fish or similer that you wanted to drain, with the old type you removed the lid then with one finger pushed it into the tin and inverted over the sink to drain. No mess, no extra washing up. The new sort means that as soon as you try to drain it you get fish-stinking brine all over you new farah's. Bastards.

 

4. New can opener takes whole lid off inc rim.

Yes, it also takes a skim of 1mm of the label which you hen have to try and extracate from your chilli con carne as it simmers on the stove. Knobends.

 

So why oh why is this design the only one you can buy now????

 

All I want is an oldfashioned butterfly opener, that doesn't cause you to end up with severe lacerations, fish-piss trousers and sandwiches full of label strands. But no-where sells them any more.

 

UTTER UTTER BOLLOCKS. THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD. I MUST END IT ALL NOW. (By slashing my wrists with a sharp empty can of John Wests Salmon.)

[RedSparrow]

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?I guess people just don't eat cold baked beans out of the tin anymore.

[dollywobbler]

Ah, beanz now comes in little plastic pots. And even the cans have easy open things. Not cheap beans though...

[RedSparrow]

These are all good points.That Gok Wan can fuck off too.

[Richard]

Brabantia FTW

 

That's what we have. I think it will open the tins either way but I only ever open them the old fashioned way.

[Guest]

Hey Pog I feel your pain, my folks actually have to keep an old-style tin opener in the drawer in case I fancy a tin of hot dogs in brine or other D_HIRST fine cuisine.I literally can not use a new-style tin opener - I have never, ever successfully used one, not once. I just can't do it.True story: one time we didn't have an old-style tin opener around and after many failed attempts trying to use the new one, I spent the best part of an hour opening a Fray Bentos pie tin with a hammer and chisel. Got the bastard in the end though, I was starving after that.

[RedSparrow]

These are all good points.That Gok Wan can fuck off too.

Is he outside revving his diesel engine as well?

Yes, yes...Someone agree with me and then we can talk about tin openers! Please!(I have not left the flat for over 24 hours)

[pompei]

I've got a 57 pee butterfly can opener which works rather well, although it is perhaps just a little rusty ... However, Mrs P being a left hooker cannot use it at all. Left handed tin opener - if no-one's invented one I claim my patent!

[Richard]

I've seen somebody open a tin with a Stanley knife before. Scared the shit out of me.

[outlaw118]

Red sparrow is right.Gok Wan CAN fuck off.So can Eamonn Holmes.