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Posted
  On 26/08/2015 at 17:02, Sloth in a bowl said:

Based on the size of the bird shit all over the bonnet and windscreen of my car. Pegasus has moved into Warwick.

I fear it hath passed over Walsall too had a shit which nigh on covered half the bonnet in grey lumpy porridge stuff

Posted
  On 27/08/2015 at 21:19, Frank Gallagher said:

why do they dub engine noises on police intercepters- a mishimushi evo HAS NOT GOT MORE THAN 4 CYLINDERS FFS

 

 

as you were

I thought this, on occasion sounds like a clip of the Dukes O hazard

Posted
  On 27/08/2015 at 19:52, EssDeeWon said:

One thing I'm getting fed up with is everytime I switch on the TV there is something about people on benefits

 

Benefit cheats

On benefits and proud

My wedding on benefits

My big fat benefit family

my 154 kids in benefits

A town full of benefits

Im a fat stupid idiot on benefits

Im a really fat stupid idiot on benefits

 

Ok FFS, these programmes have been done to death after the very first one.

 

Its yet another wedge being hammered in between the rich and the poor.

"look at these scum - LOOK AT THEM."

  • Like 2
Posted

Well I have had a fucking spiffing day.

 

Bought 2 brand new Toyo Proxes in Cairns yesterday from Tyre Power who are one of the major tyre chains here in Australia. They went on the back of my Ford Fairlane.

 

Today we've driven to Townsville and with about 20km to go, the drivers side rear one blew out from the inner side wall. We had a good think about it but are sure we have not hit anything at all in the past 24 hours since they were fitted. Luckily it was on a straight, clear piece of highway so we pulled over quickly and changed to the spare.

 

When we got to Townsville we went to tyre power here and they are insistant that it must be due to impact damage and refuse to replace the tyre, despite there being no marks to the tyre at all apart from where the white powder from the inside of the tyre has blown out around the hole in the sidewall.

 

We then took the other Toyo off the other side and there's a little bulge in the exact same spot as the failure happened on the other. They are insisting that small tyre bulges are normal and that it still must be impact damage and won't replace either tyre.

 

This has really boiled my piss as we now have a car with a tyre that might give out at any moment with no spare and evidence of a manufacturing fault that has caused the failure but they will not budge.

 

I really hope this doesn't end up going through a small claims court or whatever as that's not how you want to spend your holiday backpacking around Australia.

 

BAH. I hate garages sometimes.

Posted

The grumpiness that the following has induced is out of all proportion to the actual event.......but by fuck it has made me glow with pent up anger and aggression and woe betide any fucker who gives me any justification to vent.....

 

I've got some stuff coming from USA......just a few bits because I fucked up.

 

I've had quite a few parcel over the last months so pretty much know the drill. Under a certain value there is FA to pay and over that value there is stuff to pay plus £8 because Royal Mail. The sender puts a customs declaration on the package to help.

 

Yesterday I get a card through the door from RM saying they want £11.03 from me before they can deliver parcel......based on past experience is wrong.

 

So I ring RM and after a very long wait get told that I need to talk to HMRC.

 

I ring HMRC who answer straight away and are very helpful. Bloke can see the parcel on his puter and agrees it was exempt. It is even stamped as exempt FFS! He cxan't understand why a charge has been attached. He then tells me that on this occasion it is the Border agency who have applied the charge. He gives me there number and wishes me luck.....

 

As soon as the BA answer the phone..........you can hear in her voice the answer is NO. Captial and bold.

 

So I stay very pleasant and explain the position.

 

You got two option says the operative. Pay and claim back or let the parcel go back to sender.

 

Hang I say....how come you have made an error but I need to do work to fix it?

 

Then she reads from the script that tells me they aren't allowed to contact RM to fix the error (like HMRC do....) anymore. So I ask if this change is actual law or just a rule some middle manager has come up with......and if it is a new requirement where can I find it laid out.

 

By now I realise I'm firmly on the losing team........so I probe further and ask how come they can tell RM to return my package to sender and punish me (the innocent party) but they can't contact exactly the same place and tell them there has been a mistake. The response for this was not in her script so she just returned to the 'you have two options bit'.

 

Then she calls me a customer......the tone said it all really.

 

Anyway today I shall pay my eleven quid and I will make myself write to complain and claim it and more back for my time.

 

I love being a customer to the authorities..........

 

Anyway I feel better now!

  • Like 2
Posted
  Quote

Entering contingency test results

  Quote

Following recent MOT testing service performance issues, a higher than normal number of contingency test results need to be entered (or retro-keyed) into the service.[/size]

The original tester is not always available to retro-key contingency test results back into the service at the earliest opportunity, due to absence or holidays.

DVSA will temporarily allow another tester to enter a contingency test result on behalf of a fellow tester who works at the same Vehicle Testing Station.

Any tester entering results on behalf of another tester should record the following within the ‘Comments box’ on the contingency test result entry screen:

  • the original tester’s name
  • the original tester’s user ID
This will make sure test results are entered into the service at the earliest opporunity and, until further notice, DVSA won’t take any disciplinary action over this issue.

 

 

  Read more about workarounds  [/size]

 

Don't know if its a grump or a grin really - I'm a little grumpy about both the extended mess caused by the new system and the lovely news that they won't be taking diciplinary action(!) against anyone sorting it all out and grinning about the new phrase "retro-keyed" which someone obviously just made up to describe the action of entering data into a system sometime later than expected because everything is broken. Again.

 

PS grump - I just got an automated phone call pretending to be from the bank. I hung up and rang the bank. I spent 10 mins on hold then 3 minutes talking to an "advisor" who had little clue about anything and was no help. I'm going to go into the branch this afternoon instead. FFS.

Posted

It's official.  Everything in the Corporate Modern WorldTM IS shit.  And the older I get - 50 in three months - the less I can be arsed to engage with it.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 09:39, alf892 said:

 

  The bint from the Borders agency said:

Then she calls me a customer......the tone said it all really.

 

This is bollocks, and I can prove it.  First, one has to assume that the bint from BA is a civil servant, and thus, a Crown Servant, too - acertain this if you need to next time.  Then point out that you yourself is a Crown subject, and thus not a fucking customer, despite what the media/management/public relations cunt with the fucking non-job tells them that you are a customer.

  • Like 4
Posted

While we are on the subject, anyone tried to buy 'Premium bonds' lately? What a fucking nightmare with you having to register online then print it and post it to them and all sorts of kerfuffle. I'm not even allowed to do that as I admitted I had previous bonds and we have to go through an even BIGGER kerfuffle to find them, register and get them assigned to one account number - not allowed two numbers, no way!

 

While I'm ranting, had the 'not the girl friend' on the phone this morning and then round here for a couple of hours trying to sort some stuff out for her. Why? She also always brings her fucking dog, bloody great Airdale that thinks it's top dog/Billy big bollocks and wants everything... 'Cos I went to Pets at Home the other day, the flat is strewn with Hide chews and fuck off great bones which this twat wanted all to himself. While he was busy corralling  them all, I had to keep MY DOG under serious control so the inevitable ruck didn't occur.

 

So, my 'not a girlfriend' is using my laptop, my landline phone, drinking my coffee and I'm trying to keep the peace between three dogs while her bugger chews all my dogs toys.

 

Not a BJ in sight! :)

Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 09:39, alf892 said:

The grumpiness that the following has induced is out of all proportion to the actual event.......but by fuck it has made me glow with pent up anger and aggression and woe betide any fucker who gives me any justification to vent.....

 

I've got some stuff coming from USA......just a few bits because I fucked up.

 

I've had quite a few parcel over the last months so pretty much know the drill. Under a certain value there is FA to pay and over that value there is stuff to pay plus £8 because Royal Mail. The sender puts a customs declaration on the package to help.

 

Yesterday I get a card through the door from RM saying they want £11.03 from me before they can deliver parcel......based on past experience is wrong.

 

So I ring RM and after a very long wait get told that I need to talk to HMRC.

 

I ring HMRC who answer straight away and are very helpful. Bloke can see the parcel on his puter and agrees it was exempt. It is even stamped as exempt FFS! He cxan't understand why a charge has been attached. He then tells me that on this occasion it is the Border agency who have applied the charge. He gives me there number and wishes me luck.....

 

As soon as the BA answer the phone..........you can hear in her voice the answer is NO. Captial and bold.

 

So I stay very pleasant and explain the position.

 

You got two option says the operative. Pay and claim back or let the parcel go back to sender.

 

Hang I say....how come you have made an error but I need to do work to fix it?

 

Then she reads from the script that tells me they aren't allowed to contact RM to fix the error (like HMRC do....) anymore. So I ask if this change is actual law or just a rule some middle manager has come up with......and if it is a new requirement where can I find it laid out.

 

By now I realise I'm firmly on the losing team........so I probe further and ask how come they can tell RM to return my package to sender and punish me (the innocent party) but they can't contact exactly the same place and tell them there has been a mistake. The response for this was not in her script so she just returned to the 'you have two options bit'.

 

Then she calls me a customer......the tone said it all really.

 

Anyway today I shall pay my eleven quid and I will make myself write to complain and claim it and more back for my time.

 

I love being a customer to the authorities..........

 

Anyway I feel better now!

I went and fetched some cake to read that... 

Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 10:58, chaseracer said:

It's official.  Everything in the Corporate Modern WorldTM IS shit.  And the older I get - 50 in three months - the less I can be arsed to engage with it.

 

50 is still OK. I'm turning 51 soon, which seriously sucks.

Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 14:24, xtriple said:

While we are on the subject, anyone tried to buy 'Premium bonds' lately? What a fucking nightmare with you having to register online then print it and post it to them and all sorts of kerfuffle. I'm not even allowed to do that as I admitted I had previous bonds and we have to go through an even BIGGER kerfuffle to find them, register and get them assigned to one account number - not allowed two numbers, no way!

 

While I'm ranting, had the 'not the girl friend' on the phone this morning and then round here for a couple of hours trying to sort some stuff out for her. Why? She also always brings her fucking dog, bloody great Airdale that thinks it's top dog/Billy big bollocks and wants everything... 'Cos I went to Pets at Home the other day, the flat is strewn with Hide chews and fuck off great bones which this twat wanted all to himself. While he was busy corralling  them all, I had to keep MY DOG under serious control so the inevitable ruck didn't occur.

 

So, my 'not a girlfriend' is using my laptop, my landline phone, drinking my coffee and I'm trying to keep the peace between three dogs while her bugger chews all my dogs toys.

 

Not a BJ in sight! :)

The sex that you do have must be mega. No man would put up with that otherwise. Else, it would be time...to beat them with their own kind... 

 

FR9VH6EGZ0BWHXJ.LARGE_zpsmffzph8z.jpg

Posted

I think I've got sinus problems,my eye sockets are killing me

 

Off to a beer festival in a minute though which might help relieve pain

  • Like 1
Posted

Billy may well feel my pain here... until Tuesday, I will mostly be sitting here.

 

a35d5254bb2ee0a9eb3189df6b080b56.jpg

 

For more info, see...

 

0b5b8d83c39df4ac9acf4e1bf41534bc.jpg

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 15:44, Junkman said:

50 is still OK. I'm turning 51 soon, which seriously sucks.

56 next week. Proper grumpy fucker I am now.....Unlike Mrs Rocker who despite being on an earlier plate than me is happier with the years. Prolly cos she has already retired.

Posted

"A steamroller hit a Tesco lorry on the A27 near Portsmouth early on Friday morning, bringing traffic to a standstill on one of the most popular routes to the coast. The steamroller is understood to have been en route to a show in Dorset."

 

I think the lorry hit the roller actually.....

 

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/crash-involving-a-steamroller-causes-chaos-as-the-wet-bank-holiday-getaway-begins/ar-BBmc3PJ?ocid=mailsignoutmd

Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 15:36, J-Rod said:

I went and fetched some cake to read that... 

 

You have cake that can read?

Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 22:38, mouseflakes said:

You have cake that can read?

 

Arrrggg! I just broke my own rule and posted in the grumpy thread. Cobblers. That's made me grumpy now  :(

Posted

pulled my back again, docs can't see me for about a week (bank hol etc) not serious enough for A&E so didn't bother them but go to minor injuries dept , ah its part of an ongoing prob can't help you go to walkin clinic, non of this is the grump our health service is over worked & I use it spareingly so not knowing where to go is fine by me.

 

grump is the fact that there multi story carpark must be designed for smart cars ,i'm using the falcon ute as its auto & so meens I don't have to use my left leg obv.

but the very tidy 24k mile vehicle (its 13 years old) know has a big scrape allway along the bottom of the passenger door & B pillar due to the size of the parking spaces/ramps etc.

Posted

Apparently 6.50am on a Saturday is the ideal time for my neighbours to start using a circular saw and electric planer.

Posted

Waiting for the vets to open. Got up to take the dogs out and Toby has a swollen face, he seems fine otherwise, can't see anything in his mouth. Neither dog is happy as I will not be feeding them until the vet has seen him. I'm wondering if he's been stung, as he does like to chase insects.

Posted
  On 28/08/2015 at 22:41, mouseflakes said:

Arrrggg! I just broke my own rule and posted in the grumpy thread. Cobblers. That's made me grumpy now  :(

 

Twice.  You are now fully assimilated...

 

:P

  • Like 2
Posted

Woken up with both my ears blocked up woth wax. Ones been doing it for a while every night but usually sorts itself out as I drive to work, both still blocked though.

 

Will be a weekend of olive oil spray then the doctors for a syringe next week i think

Posted

Just grab anything pointy to hand and have a fish around. Wood screws, pencils, straws..... It'll be fine.

Posted

Being woken up by my child deciding the best method is to punch me in the face. Shes only 4 months but im sure she did it on purpose.

 

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk

Posted
  On 29/08/2015 at 08:14, Pillock said:

Just grab anything pointy to hand and have a fish around. Wood screws, pencils, straws..... It'll be fine.

I already had one new eardrum from a graft from my neck when I was 10 due to crappy grommits, not having another. Some careful twisting with cotton buds and more oil spray has sorted one out now.

Posted

Oh, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha at that 'control' panel. If it doesn't light up with a warning, it's been disconnected. Genuine like, one of the drivers at work told me he was getting a new Iveco, so I just laughed and told him to prepare to fail. He said it was really good, well built, didn't deserve the rep, blah blah blah.

yesterday he came in, said it had registered two or three faults on the computer but Iveco can't fix it because they haven't got the sotware yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grumpy news:

Need to get a new driving licence as my old (paper) one is so shagged, the numbers aren't readable and I have to show it to someone. Got the form of DVLA, did everything they asked including sending my birth certificate and two weeks later it's back. Except they haven't sent my licence, just all my stuff with a letter saying they want more ID. I rang them, got through to Eva Braun and was told my birth cert. wasn't enough. I questioned how I'd held a driving licence for the last 34 years, and they'd even quoted my driving licence number on their reply, and somehow I have to prove who I am? Just got a load of hot air about how it was different then.

Posted

Oh dear, I have just given those DVLA twunts my bank details to pay my car tax. Doesn't bode well.....

Posted
  On 29/08/2015 at 08:14, Pillock said:

Just grab anything pointy to hand and have a fish around. Wood screws, pencils, straws..... It'll be fine.

I find carb cleaner does the job fine

  • Like 3
Posted

Not been to sleep yet. Midday on Saturday and I last slept Thursday nigh.Friday morning. I overdid it yesterday and spent the night in agony. What did I do that was soooooo strenuous you may ask?

 

I hoovered the flat!

 

I am so fucked Dignitas is looking more appealing by the day - wonder if I can DIY it?

 

:)

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