The grumpy thread

[Pete-M]

Hey, it's not THAT bad. Borrow £10 and pay £235 back.Um. Bonus.

[Guest]

To counteract with some grumpiness, does anyone else feel like their skills are wasted in their job?

Yes.I started livening up my project proposal documents with a few snappy phrases, basically making them more enjoyable to read. "Engineers" became "Screwdriver twirlers", "physical ventilation blockages" were referred to as "dust bunnies". These were documents which went mostly to the top of a large company. Nobody even read the buggers.One of the last ones had a full-page of photos of two of us twatting around at a suppliers office, spinning on the chairs they were trying to sell us and leaping into any other shots we could. It was never mentioned, I swear nobody got that far.Finally, I rewrote a document as a screenplay. Even downloaded software to properly format it, produce a castlist as so on. It was a 100% work of art..... nothing. I might as well have photocopied the side of my face and emailed it off.

I've done a few things like that in my job. I sometimes annotate accounts like the Fonejacker to achieve parity with the dross left on orders by our 'friends' in Durban.Our claims system can't accept apostrophes for some reason, or lengthy prose. I've taken recently to writing fault summaries in the form of haikus.

My phone camera is producing some shonky images lately, as if the focus has gone. Bloody annoying.

I fear my C902 is going that way as well, but seeing it's taken two years of non stop abuse and given me 6,000 photos, I'm not that arsed. The phone still works.

I've spent the last couple of days composing some template letters for my work and I'm quite proud of them. Loads of my favourite words and phrases, all the boys are there - moreover, on that basis, furthermore, consequence, whereabouts, etc.

My sympathies entirely! I once had a "staff appraisal" which said, inter alia (that's Latin for "amongst other things") "Andrew must appreciate the need to use plain English when drafting reports". And all because I used "vicissitudes", "ululation", "frotage" and "lacunae" in one statement. Some management just don't appreciate the beauty of the English language....

I will admit to consulting the OED for two of those. What context did you use 'ululate' in then?

[whitevanman]

Fuckin' Sierra's.....in the last 2 mon ths I've had nowt b ut trouble with themP100, steering issues - 3 weeks to solveMates Sierra - Sudden wheel bearing failure.....oh look the other sides fecked an all......10 days for bits due to Xmas ( Fuckin' Christians and their holidays)SHMBO's Sierra....decided to conk out tonight.............no life !!!10 mins realise no power to coil....quick bit of hot wiring, BROOM, BROOM ....200 yds later...Couch, splutter, pop, pop, bang, bang..........well thats fucked then que pub landlord to the rescue and drops me of at home to collect the P100....then.....500yds of getting her to learn how to tow me backwards in ice and a blizzard, fecker that it is.............So tomorrow it either runs or its getting an engine swap..not gonna piss about with it

[chester drawers]

Also, my management don't seem to understand my request for a wall planner for January, February and March next year ONLY, as this is when my department will be closed, but even then I won't know if I'll be found another job within the organisation or be put at risk of redundancy.

One of my colleagues has being using a “Last Year Plannerâ€Â. A 2008 year planner with the word last added and all entries wiped clean for use in 2009. Unfortunately the joke was far too subtle for management (who wouldn’t buy him another) and on occasions it’s backfired when we’ve written things on it only to discover day and date don’t tally! Hopefully Santa has left him a new one for 2010.Hope things work out ok for you jobs wise.

[ashmicro]

Need for Speed:Shit I mean Shift - beautiful GFX, great sound effects, shite control interface. I thought it was just me until I bought the recommended steering wheel/ pedal combo, and then drove the Escort Cosworth ( I gorra a Cosseh) @ Spa. What an understeering pile of shite.I have been lucky enough to have a spin in a real Escort Cosworth at a very real (and dry) Spa-Francorchamps.Sorry EA, very disappointing. I doubt even our own Eddie Irvine coulda managed to handle this oh-so-nearly-great game.f minus.

[Pete-M]

Weird, i've been playing NFS-Shift with a Logitech wheel'n'pedal combo and it's more realistic than actually driving the Audi.

[Guest]

Weird, i've been playing NFS-Shift with a Logitech wheel'n'pedal combo and it's more realistic than actually driving the Audi.

What does that say about your Audi? Does it have a spoon?

[Station]

To counteract with some grumpiness, does anyone else feel like their skills are wasted in their job?

Last year I was a fully fledged graphic artist working in the 'gaming entertainment industry'. Now I'm 33 and I deliver pizzas two nights a week, working for a husband/wife partnership, who are the biggest pair of schizophrenic cunts I've met, and I am made to owe some gratitude for them giving me the job.I can't get work in my 'trade', and I'm at square one working in a motherfucking filthy pizza shithouse for 60 quid a week. What the fuck is going on with this country, this shouldn't be happening!

[Pete-M]

Audi has a fly-by-wire throttle and the steering feels artificial at the best of times!That the game gives more feedback tells you all you need to know. Audi only gives feedback when absolutely needed. As it's a bugger to get to slide 99% of the time the steering has nothing to tell you so it's pretty mute.

[Guest]

To counteract with some grumpiness, does anyone else feel like their skills are wasted in their job?

Last year I was a fully fledged graphic artist working in the 'gaming entertainment industry'. Now I'm 33 and I deliver pizzas two nights a week, working for a husband/wife partnership, who are the biggest pair of schizophrenic cunts I've met, and I am made to owe some gratitude for them giving me the job.I can't get work in my 'trade', and I'm at square one working in a motherfucking filthy pizza shithouse for 60 quid a week. What the fuck is going on with this country, this shouldn't be happening!

So you don't fancy a fucked Piazza right at the minute then?Balls. Sorry to hear of your difficulties mate.

[greengartside]

Apologies if this has ever been mentioned before but......Train tickets.....or more the cost of them. I used to travel occasionally from Norwich to Stockport on the train a couple of years ago, was a no-change service so was great. I used to book in advance and it cost me something like £17.50 open return.Fast forward to tonight and just out of interest I tapped in the same journey again on the train line place where I got my other tickets from. It's gone up.....to £73!!! What the fcuk is all that about!?! Where has the extra £50-odd come from? To keep the train driver in pies and cakes for the duration of the journey or something? There's also about 278 train changes too so you'd be knackered if you got on a wrong 'un...It would actually be cheaper to drive there and back, but still the amount that's gone up is shocking. And the gov'ment wonders why no bugger takes the train no more...

[Andrew353w]

I will admit to consulting the OED for two of those. What context did you use 'ululate' in then? I worked in north Africa for a few years in the early 2000's and had a lot of dealings with Algerians. The context in which I managed to squeeze "ululation" into a report was when explaining what might be the vocal reaction to a course of action we were contemplating. If anyone's still stumped as to what "ululation" sounds lie, try watching Monty Python's "Life Of Brian" where the women all "squeak" at some of the things happening. That's "ululation"!

[Milford Cubicle]

Apologies if this has ever been mentioned before but......Train tickets...

I miss the days when I could hop on a train, look nonchalant when the ticket inspector came and 9 times out of 10 avoid paying the fare.

[brammy777]

Ive got away with no ticket twice, the first time was London Paddington back to Basingstoke, which requires changing at Reading. No one checked on either train and it was pretty late when I got back, meaning the barriers at Basingstoke were not being used and the side exit was open.The other time was Waterloo to Winchfield, before the ticket barriers at the former. The guard seemed to be in a bit of a hurry, so instead of wanting to see my ticket, he just asked if i had one. To which I replied yes. And off he went. Fool.Another thing I used to do was reuse the month return tickets from Luton when I was always there. Sometimes they wouldnt go through the barriers so Id buy a single to Luton Airport Parkway to clear them, and use my return (again) from then on. Worked so well.

[Father Ted]

Women. They have no fucking idea.

 

Bought the wife a load of lovely stuff for crimbo which she says she likes including an underwater camera for family holidays. I got some socks and peanuts.....

 

So for my birthday in a couple of weeks I have dropped some hints and left this on her facebook page...

 

She still hasnt a bloody clue.

[Hudsonpie]

Fucking childrens telly....especially that twat Justin from Gigglebiz.....made a career out of ripping off all the old comedy greats like Kenny Everett, Benny Hill etc. Unfortunately my kids quite like this crap so I cant escape it. Fucking tit I think hes just been awarded an MBE....... for what....?....Services to paedophilia.......and because its crimbo the fucking goon seems to be on more than usual.....great..... Even if I turn the telly over to something good like Minder or something while they aint looking they some how know and I have to put it back on.......

[Milford Cubicle]

Did you want a Defender with a comically oversized numberplate Father Ted?

[Father Ted]

Both - a Landy and the number plates - but cant see me getting either. even mentioned about getting myself a little minimetro I had seen locally - christ on a bike you would have thought I wanted to bugger her mother in a threesome or something.

[Cavcraft]

Fucking childrens telly....especially that twat Justin from Gigglebiz.....made a career out of ripping off all the old comedy greats like Kenny Everett, Benny Hill etc. Unfortunately my kids quite like this crap so I cant escape it. Fucking tit I think hes just been awarded an MBE....... for what....?....Services to paedophilia.......and because its crimbo the fucking goon seems to be on more than usual.....great..... Even if I turn the telly over to something good like Minder or something while they aint looking they some how know and I have to put it back on.......

You think that's bad?Just wait until the American shite becomes their favourite. I swear to God there are times when jumping on a plane, flying to USAVille and personally hunting down and repeatedly stabbing Hannah Fucking Montanna repeatedly in the eye with a blunt pencil seems like a really good idea.From there a quick hop to wherever those horrible, horrible little bastards Zak and Cody (ref. 'The Suite Life Of Zak and Cody') live to smash their last breaths out with a the biggest bastarding baseball bat I can find, ideally with some rusty 4 inch nails sticking out of it.

[darkfour]

You forgot the last of the Disney holy trinity, "Wizards of Waverly Place" ... but you can relax as all three shows combine in this full length adventure!

 

[Hudsonpie]

God that looks fucking awful......would love a go on the one with the dark hair though....!Bet this sort of thing is the most requested thing on the peado wing....

[trigger]

Well the dark haired one has now turned 17 so i guess it's legal but it's bit depressing when you realise she was born in 1992!

 

[pogweasel]

repeatedly stabbing Hannah Fucking Montanna

Bet this sort of thing is the most requested thing on the paedo wing....

It's OK, I believe the Cyrus girl is now legally within the realms of being wank-bankable.

[Milford Cubicle]

I've been catching up with Curb Your Enthusiasm recently and came across this video of Larry David in 'Hannah Montana', I don't know how kids can watch this stuff, it's unbearable vapid shit.

[Hudsonpie]

Well the dark haired one has now turned 17 so i guess it's legal but it's bit depressing when you realise she was born in 1992!

 

Fuck me I bet shes got a snatch like a pigeons breast......sound of light rustling as my hand reaches down the front of me jeans.......

[Milford Cubicle]

 

PAEDOGEDDON

[Guest]

Naturally, when I heard that Autoshite was child-friendly, I thought.....

[trigger]

Yet again this thread has turned into the dirty old man thread again...

[Hudsonpie]

Trouble with these saccharin sweet kids shows, they are utter garbage but then they'll have some hottie leaping about so that dad dosent switch it off....

http://www.aeropause.com/wordpress/arch ... y-town.jpg

[trigger]

Women. They have no fucking idea.

I agree, When i say to them we need to be at the club at 8pm and they had since 4pm to get ready you would expect them to be ready on time.But no, She's still doing her chuffing make up and i have a IPA sat on a bar waiting for me...