A communal list of CELEBRITIES WOT WE WANT TO SLAP

[warren t claim]

Any present or ex GMTV presenter.

I'd say any former breakfast tv presenter with the exeption of Frank "King Dong" Bough. What a man...

This is what I mean. Apologies for the dated comedy sketch:

[Father Ted]

Bugger me - Who Dares Wins... That takes me back (Merry Christmas from the Nuclear Power workers sir, be a shame if anything happened to the reactor wouldnt it?...) - I was at the last ever recording of this at Limehouse Studios working as a cable basher. Fooking brilliant summer that was. I havve a load of episodes on Betamax, im going off to trawl ebay now for a second hand betamax recorder.....

[Dukestar25]

Celebs worth slapping? well...Jordan/katie Price - lousy mum and not at all prettyAlex Reid - Never heard of him but he has a ' little problem ' apart from being married to JordanBono - always talking sh*t before, during or after a performance. If saving the Earth is so important, why doesn't he ride a bicycle and eat lentils FFS?Cher - For that song 'Believe'. She should be beaten with a dozen big sticks for that appalling performance.Davina McCall - pointless and gobby ('nuf sed)Dale Winton - Tangerine coloured uphill-gardener who really gets on my tits.Kerry Katona - As Davina McCall but with added Sniff.Gail Tuesday- (remember her?) So unfunny and an over-exaggerated London accent.Chris Moyles - Fat and talentless, nothing else is needed.and most of the upper ranks of the Ministry of Justice for putting a Bail Hostel in my street . (ok, not celebs but they still deserve a kicking for putting crime back into our communities).

[boobydoo]

Celebs worth slapping? well...Gail Tuesday- (remember her?) So unfunny and an over-exaggerated London accent.

Ha! Ha! Gayle Tuesday...ex-Page 3 Stunna!!Nah, would have to disagree... thought she was hilarious!! I tried to find her TV show on DVD but no-one has released it....I'm obviously in the minority thinkin she was gr8!! :(Just googled her and can't even find a piccie!!

[Tayne]

.

[boobydoo]

Hee, hee! Common Cabs!! I just roared!!!

[saabhappy]

This thread has really cheered me up. There are obviously loads of 'orrible celebs and I don't know 60% of them. Everyone must know the story about Bono doing a gig in Ireland and standing on stage with a cigarette lighter saying "Each time I let the flame go a child dies in Africa" to which a loud voice bellowed "Well stop feckin doing it then!"Why do all these "celebs" queue up to appear on charity shows when they could afford to give a few hundred thousand each?Piers Morgan was the twat who told Portsmouth football fans that he knew their first Arab owner personally, he was mega mega rich and their troubles were over....Most journos and columnists are overpaid thieving hypocrites. It's a scandal that MPs steal our money when they get £100, 000 p.a. including exes, but I'd like to hear the fat slug Martin Samuels or Mr Toad Simon Heffer justify their half a million a year, likewise all the Dimblebys, Paxmans and the rest.

[Milford Cubicle]

Most of these people don't bother me, because 99% of the time I manage to ignore them.

[Cavcraft]

Philip Smug Twat Schofield.I reckon he's long overdue some fist and boot action.

[hennabm]

All MPs who think we are stupid enough to believe their "administrative errors" on expenses.The one for sCUNThorpe who "forgot" he had finished paying his mortgage yet still claimed FFS. Trouble is the rules are still in their hands. Until the rules are governed by an independent they will still vote for stuff like house cleaning acceptable on expenses. That's what they get their salary for FFS.(climbs off soapbox....)

[retrogeezer]

Gayle Tuesday (Brenda Gilhooly) is one of the main writers/producers on Harry Hills TV Burp. Always in the credits and was on stage when he collected his comedy awards.

[Milford Cubicle]

All MPs who think we are stupid enough to believe their "administrative errors" on expenses.The one for sCUNThorpe who "forgot" he had finished paying his mortgage yet still claimed FFS. Trouble is the rules are still in their hands. Until the rules are governed by an independent they will still vote for stuff like house cleaning acceptable on expenses. That's what they get their salary for FFS.(climbs off soapbox....)

Humans are fallible aren't they? Lots of people make mistakes, pretty much every day.MPs only get the stick because they're paid by us and under so much scrutiny.

[Pete-M]

The unfunny 'comedienne' Jo Caulfield.

 

 

Went to a comedy club a few years ago where she was unfortunately headlining. If we'd have known it was her, we'd have gone elsewhere.

 

Night had been going well, there were a few very funny people on before 'the main act' and then she turned up and died the death of all deaths on stage. Hitler would have got more laughs in a Synagogue. Truly, truly unfunny. Whole routine was based completely around shopping in London and was never going to work anywhere else. Twee, bland, self-obsessed and completely devoid of any mirth whatsoever.

 

She wandered on stage all full of herself and proceeded to tell dull stories about unfunny things "The congestion charge, hey? Ever tried parking in Fulham?". She didn't raise as much as a titter from 300 people who'd been laughing for the past hour or so. She started to look a bit confused, and then insulted as nobody was laughing. She just isn't funny, at all. She tried to get the women in the audience to laugh but that wasn't happening either so she stropped off after 15 minutes or so. The compare wandered on and everyone was laughing again - mainly because he was taking the piss out of what had just happened.

 

After 15 or 20 minutes she appeared at the bar, and sat there waiting for someone to go and talk to her, she didn't even get pestered by the 'agent' sharks who'll talk to anyone in a comedy club.

 

Yet she's on every single "100 best" show on telly, being unfunny. She was even dull and boring on Qi, ffs.

[Milford Cubicle]

Almost all the comedians who do the 'comedy quiz shows' on TV are fuck awful with the odd exception like David Mitchell or Sean Lock.

[brammy777]

David Mitchell is bloody brilliant.

[hennabm]

All MPs who think we are stupid enough to believe their "administrative errors" on expenses.The one for sCUNThorpe who "forgot" he had finished paying his mortgage yet still claimed FFS. Trouble is the rules are still in their hands. Until the rules are governed by an independent they will still vote for stuff like house cleaning acceptable on expenses. That's what they get their salary for FFS.(climbs off soapbox....)

Humans are fallible aren't they? Lots of people make mistakes, pretty much every day.MPs only get the stick because they're paid by us and under so much scrutiny.

But why should different rules apply to them?If you "forgot" and claimed more than you were entitled to I'm sure your company would keep you employed and change the rules to suit NOT...

[Milford Cubicle]

They're being forced to pay back the illegitimate expenses aren't they?

[hennabm]

wooooo some punishment that.As a civil servant I have seen staff sacked for far less than that when claiming expenses they were not entitled to.So it's one rule for them and one ..........

[Milford Cubicle]

Seems fair enough. What do you want, to bring back the gallows?

[saabhappy]

Humans are fallible aren't they? Lots of people make mistakes, pretty much every day.MPs only get the stick because they're paid by us and under so much scrutiny.

MPs pass the laws which affect all of us, but don't observe the basic ones themselves. Harriet Harperson leaves the scene of a traffic accident, saying "You know who I am".

[hennabm]

Seems fair enough. What do you want, to bring back the gallows?

Well that would be nice.....Seriously all I would like to see is that they are treated the same way as every other public servant. So.. sack every one of them that made this "administrative error".There is no point suggesting we change using the ballot box because they are all the same. It needs ALL fraudsters clearing out and then I might believe they are serious about changing the system and cleaning up their act.

[AnthonyG]

Humans are fallible aren't they? Lots of people make mistakes, pretty much every day.MPs only get the stick because they're paid by us and under so much scrutiny.

MPs pass the laws which affect all of us, but don't observe the basic ones themselves. Harriet Harperson leaves the scene of a traffic accident, saying "You know who I am".

Exactly - the current range of MPs includes some real SCUMBAGS. Hopefully they will off either f**k off of their own volition or get kicked out at the next election. Labour MPs in traditional Labour seats seem to be the worst offenders - because they have no competition, except maybe the BNP.

[Mr Lobster]

Labour MPs in traditional Labour seats seem to be the worst offenders - because they have no competition, except maybe the BNP.

Ah yes. You must be thinking of Burnley MP Kitty Ussher then

On 10 May 2009 the Sunday Telegraph reported that within a year of being elected, Ussher was inquiring about claiming for around £20,000 worth of renovations to her London home, a property she had owned for several years before becoming an MP. Among other things she asked, "Generally, there are gaps in terms of our furniture, white goods etc. And some of the windows require curtains and/blinds." She also attempted to justify other claims: "The plumbing in the entire house is strange [...] The electrics are also odd [...] Most of the ceilings have Artex coverings. Three-dimensional swirls. It could be a matter of taste, but this counts as ‘dilapidations’ in my book!" A letter produced by the Telegraph include a covering "With Compliments" slip stating "I am aware this takes us over our limit. Please pay as much as you are able".

[boobydoo]

I have a funny feeling I'm going to be mentioning Chris 'too bloody hyper for his own good' Evans in a couple of weeks time.

IMHO best thing Radio 2 did was get rid of dreary Wogan. I used to turn the radio off after Sarah Kennedy.... couldn't stand the smug Irish g*t. I quite enjoy the Chris Evans show...it's fast moving and keeps your attention.......Wogan just sent you back to sleep....and he always used to play crappy country music like Beth Somebody Chapman who you'd never heard of.He was tiresome doing Eurovision aswell........why keep doing something for years if all you can do is take the piss?

[Talbotman]

Pleease!! could somebody give that smug overrated talantless gimp John Barrowman a Good hiding - From people in the know who have had the odious displeasure to work with him - its a long time coming...........and ive heard better singers at my local karaoke too.

[AXrescuer]

It's not a celeb as such I wish to inflict pain on. It's that fucking annoying faux opera singer from the Go Compare TV ads. Jeez that mong is pissing me off so much right now.Actually, I'd also like to give the CEO of Live Nation and Tony Smith, the rock band Genesis' manager a bit of poke. Just recently paid my dues to the official Genesis website only to be told that it's closing in the very near future.

[saabhappy]

Again, not a celeb, but whoever is producing T-Mobile's ads just now is seriously getting on my titz.

[Timewaster]

......why keep doing something for years if all you can do is take the piss?

Isn't that the Autoshite way?