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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

That Cav is A1 fantastic. I'd be worried about the pretty shit description, long distance rear wheel arch photos and what's probably a decent attempt to hid the driver's seat bolster where they usually go, but it defo looks like a decent-ish car.

brickwall Rank: Lancia Gamma

brickwall

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I agree, but there could be a lot of car there. I learnt to drive in an identical one - so I have an attachment to those.

triumph1300 Rank: Austin Maxi

triumph1300

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David Attenbourgh's drift slag 740. I've watch listed this so I can maybe, be in the autoshite Volvo 740 collective.

 

$(KGrHqRHJFcE+e!lCRcEBQZhbhRE0!~~60_12.JPG

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1989-VOLVO-740-GLE-AUTO-WHITE-/261105430590?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item3ccb18b03e

 

The guy selling it recons the interiors been re-trimmed in Isle of Bute fabric (what ever that is) but it looks like standard Volvo to me.

 

$(KGrHqRHJEsFBjrH)4H(BQZhdwJbDQ~~60_12.JPG

 

Wow that must mean mine was retrimmed by the same people! :roll:

RedSparrow Rank: Renault 16

RedSparrow

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Posted

Best off being put in a corner of Gaydon or Beaulei as they are and forgotten about. Restoration wouldn't leave an original bit on either of them.

trigger Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

trigger

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They would be about as original as Trigger's broom

 

How do you know what my broom looks like?

ashmicro Rank: Renault 16

ashmicro

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They would be about as original as Trigger's broom

 

How do you know what my broom looks like?

 

You put it on Facebook last night when you were drunk, mate.

 

Right, THIS:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1981-FORD-COR ... 19d5790c2e

 

Lives about 2 miles from me

 

$T2eC16JHJF0E9nmFQgm5BQ(s9b2Lzg~~60_3.JPG

 

$T2eC16JHJGwE9n)ySdiqBQ(s93SL!!~~60_3.JPG

 

As Roy Walker might say "It's good, but at £1900 Rnm, it's not right"

ashmicro Rank: Renault 16

ashmicro

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^what I was trying to say that it's not as good as it looks. It's a bit wrinkly, and the spray job isn't the best.

 

Trigger's "broom" is just wrinkly, and hasn't been resprayed :D

trigger Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

trigger

Posted
Posted
You put it on Facebook last night when you were drunk, mate.

 

I really must not go on Facebook whilst pissed, I posted so much drivel on there last night, It doesn't help that i done 2 bottles of rosé and umpteen shots and shorts and was totally wankered, still suffering now for it though. :(

retrogeezer Rank: Renault 16

retrogeezer

Posted
Posted
^what I was trying to say that it's not as good as it looks. It's a bit wrinkly, and the spray job isn't the best.

 

Trigger's "broom" is just wrinkly, and hasn't been resprayed :D

 

Ah, I see - the camera does lie!

willswitchengage Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

willswitchengage

Posted
Posted

And today's award for "seller with the biggest (amusing) hunch" goes to:

 

$(KGrHqZHJFUE+S9E8!o5BQ(2BMhHZw~~60_12.JPG

 

Oy, Comrades

 

Due to the increasing number of people that have a problem with their attention span, I decided to put the small print for the auction of my car up front.

 

1. The car is located in Stockport, Cheshire, England, which is 8 miles from Manchester, 90 miles from Birmingham, 40 miles from Chester, in the vicinity of the Peak District, and ca. 2 miles away from the M60 motorway. It's not in Stockholm, Sweden, or Stockstadt, Germany. It is also not in one of the Newports, Southport or Southampton for that matter. It is also 200 miles from London, so driving here from the South East and being back 20 minutes later will not work! Please spend the effort and look it up on Google-Maps. Can I please be assured now that you understood where the car is located and that you will not use 'I was unaware it is that far away' as an excuse to back out of the deal? If not, please feel free to contact me for further clarification.

 

2. The car is sold as seen with a few glitches, which are to be expected from a car this age, but if it was a total rust bucket or total wreck, I would have weighed it in and not spent the effort to list it here on Ebay. Even with the indecently decadent hourly rates charged by garages nowadays, it would not cost the national product of an African country to have it put right. But it will need some effort by the future owner to be pristine. Please make sure that you understand that you are looking at a car which was built 18 years ago in Russia, of all places, and hence isn't comparable with a new car. Still, you can jump right in and drive it home.

 

3. Please refrain from calling me from the nearest railway station at 3:45 am and expect me to jump out of bed to pick you up. However, during halfways civilized times this is a matter of course, so is a decent cuppa upon arrival at my place.

 

4. Guarantee: I guarantee you lots of surprises and unforeseen stuff, hidden faults I'm unaware of, obvious faults like scratches, dents, rust spots, and so on, and so forth. You will be amazed how unpredictable classic Lada ownership can be (or even new Lada ownership, I hear say). True Lada enthusiasts are genuinely thrilled by this. This very mindset is what distinguishes them from Audi buyers. Please decide before you bid to which group of buyers you really belong.

 

5. The buyer acquires the car as seen and where it is located now. There is no posting. Payment will be in Pounds Sterling and settled before the car is loaded up or driven away. Carpets, Grandma's golden teeth, or soft currency rubbish from the end of the world will not be accepted. If need be, I can provide you with the address of a respectable pawn shop, but please make sure you have the funds to pay for the car before another collection appointment turns into a vexation for all parties involved. Whoever thinks I'm daft enough to fall for the Nigeria-check-paid-too-much-transfer-funds-back-ship-car-piss-take is very welcome. I know someone who collects exotic stamps and I use the envelopes and checks to get my fireplace going. But do not expect me to take the car to a seaport and send real money to Nirvana from one of those international money transfer services that all look like laundries and are conveniently located in the red-light district. To the contrary, even when you are from abroad, I expect you to show up in person, pay as outlined in 5., and in addition provide some form of legal identification like a driving license or passport, complete with a stamp from the UK immigration authorities. Clear enough? If not, please feel free to contact me and I'll explain it in simple English.

 

6. I expect that the person picking up the car be the same that is listed in the address visible when I click on the 'order details' in Ebay. Please provide some form of proof when you pick up the car. Alternatively, you can send a transport company, in which case I want a business card from them and a countersigned written order of transport. I will not under any circumstances hand the car over without getting some signature or receipt. It has happened that the gutted carcass of a car has been fished out of the sea and the last owner (in this case me) was forced to pay fines through his nose. In the worst case, the car could get tangled into the propeller of a French ferry; the ferry traffic comes to a halt, which would inevitably put a strain onto the British-French friendship. Last time the British-French relations were disturbed was 250 years ago and led to the Seven Year War, as a result half of Europe ended up in smoke and embers. I am not going to pay the bill for this! The scam to send somebody else to pick up the car that then 'disappears' with it and me being taken to court for breach of contract won't work either - I know it already. Despite I find it rather creative, I never fell for it. Please click on a different auction if you want it to work.

 

7. Whoever now thinks 'ok, we'll get him some other way' will have tough luck, since I also know the Oriental Bazaar scam! To show up with 12 people moaning, whinging, shouting, menacing, threatening, giving presentations regarding high transport costs to export countries, high duties and customs there, hints to the non-profit nature of the goat-breeding-association in your home country - I have experienced it all. Please come up with something different to bore me out. The brother of the uncle of the mother in law can stay at home too, he will not succeed either. Trust me, I'm not born yesterday and have done some deals in my life.

 

8. I will friendly, but definitely, insist that the monetary amount displayed in the EBay auction result field will end up in my pocket in cash, without any deductions whatsoever. Do not even think about showing up after the sale has been agreed to negotiate. If you so much as try, all you will experience is what it is like to merely be the sponsor of mineral oil or railway corporations, but your career as a price negotiation agent will fail miserably and inevitably. Trust me, I know the feeling of failure, been there, seen it, bought the T-shirt. All I want is to avoid you having it too. It should delight you sufficiently, that you get the car well below its actual value anyway and that this fact is a toad I have to swallow.

 

9. In the unlikely event that you pull a scam I don't know about yet, I will probably even laugh and applaud. Of course, you will be rewarded for it and I'll throw in a book of your choice written by Dr. Vernon Coleman free of charge.

 

10. I am fully aware how politically incorrect my terms of sale are, so please refrain from telling me what a right-wing pig I am. The whole world is politically incorrect. I do not succumb to the retreat of reality in favour of this political correctness nonsense just because I'm told so by a government more immature than its constituency.

JohnDeere Rank: BL Wedge

JohnDeere

Posted
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David Attenbourgh's drift slag 740. I've watch listed this so I can maybe, be in the autoshite Volvo 740 collective.

 

Wow that must mean mine was retrimmed by the same people! :roll:

 

And my dad's. I never knew that the blue vinyl on the back of the front seats was actually half leather*.

outlaw118 Rank: Lancia Gamma

outlaw118

Posted
Posted

Jesus wept. That is so poorly done, it looks like I've done it, over a few weekends. With £150.

There's some reasonable ideas there, but the execution is piss poor.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRvhm_79bGeqyTnqujXCFvZytQ68sYyLQJcDIfWmqSeO51Eiy_WWw

"Aahhm Oot"

Cheggers Rank: Lancia Gamma

Cheggers

Posted
Posted

That Carlton's being sold by the guy I bought my Triumph off (pretty sure Spotted Laurel's also bought from him). Really sound guy, knows his cars and takes pride in the old chod he sells :D

outlaw118 Rank: Lancia Gamma

outlaw118

Posted
Posted

That is lovely.

I really don't care if he's making a huge profit, if I had the money, I'd be bidding my finger off.

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