Shitting in the shallow end. *Black and White Collection Live*

[Jim Bell]

Bad news is I found a crack in the bumper. 

Either, A) it's always been there and I've just not noticed it.  

Or B ) some arse fanny has bumper kissed it at a supermarket at some point in the last year. 

 

 

[Agila]

Always been there, (on original adverts etc)

It does look worse though.

 

[Jim Bell]

3 minutes ago, Agila said:

Always been there, (on original adverts etc)

It does look worse though.

 

Ah right. Cheers man. There is a scuff on the bumper lower down so maybe it's had a bit of an extra push and got a bit worse. 

[Peter C]

It was there when I bought the car.

[Jim Bell]

2 hours ago, Peter C said:

It was there when I bought the car.

Shows how much attention I pay!

[brownnova]

On 10/01/2022 at 10:54, Jim Bell said:

 

I'm kind of torn between the two. I can only keep one. 

Ones definitely "cooler" and the other is probably "better". 

Decisions, decisions. 

I’m in the same boat with my W210 and my Volvo 940… I’m delaying that decision as long as possible! 

[Jim Bell]

Boring update.

I've had the W210 now for eleven months, which I think is a personal best. It's been the best car I've ever had so I would be a fool to go and purchase anything else. 

Good morning. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am a fool. 

 

 

It all started way back the day before last friday. I was using facebook for its intended purpose, reading up on obscure motor vehicles in a closed group for owners of an specific obscure motor vehicle that nobody likes and that I did not own. 

There was one for sale. It was sort of green. The advert was one year old. I thought to myself "well that's definitely sold. You can't even buy a kilogramme of cheese with the money he's asking for that obscure car that nobody likes. I'd better check though. Just to make sure."

So I drafted a polite and friendly message to the seller in the time honoured fashion:

IS THIS STILL AVAILABLE? (send)

[Jim Bell]

I received a reply while idly picking my nose, which is one of those details that I probably shouldn't have mentioned. 

"Good evening. Yes the car is still available. There has been no interest because nobody likes them."

This was very unexpected. 

After wiping my current haul of nose gold onto a piece of kitchen roll, which was then thrown into the bin which was almost sixteen feet away ON MY FIRST TRY, I sent a prompt and polite response. 

"Well fuck everyone else in the world that isn't me and you mate, I think it's lovely. If you can get an MOT on it, I'd be happy to buy it."

And so to today. 

 

 

Had a terrible dream where the pope was watching me have a poo. Can only get better from here. 

[Jim Bell]

The traditions will be coming thick and fast because the day is barreling by swiftly. 

Traditional collection thread tradition the first:

An photograph of a treasured family pet. 

The morning dog walk. Poo count up from none to one. 

 

With the cresting of the first brown of the day, we are officially underway. 

[Jim Bell]

Traditional collection thread tradition the second:

The unveiling of the collectioneering fuel. Today's collectioneering fuel will be a hearty Gregg's breakfast. 

 

So sayeth he in the book of St. Gregory: "May we be blessed by the bounties of the swine, of the mill and of the dark bitter grind and be we fortified by the stodge for the tribulations ahead"

[Jim Bell]

Traditional collection thread tradition the third. 

The public transportation device. Today's methods will be various. 

Transportation device the first. An bus full of people I don't wish to sit next to. 

[Jim Bell]

At this point we take our first Toilet interlude. 

Toilet interludes may take place unexpectedly but in themselves, are also a traditional tradition of the collection thread. 

I'm in Gateshead and I think there's a communal public convenience just up by Tesco's which isn't creepy. I'll see if it's still open. 

 

Thank god it's open. Don't even have to pay, fantastic!

 

 

And it's empty. Great!

P.C. up one to two. 

 

 

Refreshed, we move on. 

 

[HMC]

Just to keep another tradition alive…..

 

[Jim Bell]

On to public transport the second. In the continuing tradition. 

 

ON. 

 

 

 

 

And then, off.

 

Just give he horse a quick stroke as I'm getting off at Central station. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Public transportation device the second. 

Lareg tren. 

 

Full of bank holiday types. The kind going 67 miles to eat an ice cream next to a swan. I bet not one of this lot are off to Chesterfield to buy a car they've never seen, from stranger called Kev. 

Bunch of amateurs. 

[grogee]

Is it a Lada? 

Brave man getting a train on BH weekend. 

[Lacquer Peel]

Suzuki Kizashi?

[Jim Bell]

For those wishing to guess, 

Clue number one is that it has seven seats. 

[Jim Bell]

For those wishing to guess,

Clue number 2: It was assembled in Russia. 

[grogee]

It sounds fucking amazing. AvtoVAZ?

[Jim Bell]

For the great disappointment of everyone involved, 

Clue number three is that it's actually really modern. Built after the millennium. 

[beko1987]

Chod speed 👌

[timolloyd]

Ooo…Hyundai Creta?

[Lacquer Peel]

?

[paulplom]

Lada largus?

[cobblers]

If, after collecting whatever donkey you fancy driving another 7 miles south your welcome to a brew and a poo (or more) in the bog at my workshop 

[HMC]

Aerovolga LA-8?

[grogee]

This, although I don't think it was made in Russia

[catsinthewelder]

Grand Scenic?

 

Best of luck

[Tickman]

In the interest of adding more to the tradition can I publicly call dibs for when you sell and at that time I will be completely unresponsive as if you were trying to sell the plague?

Please...