What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[vulgalour]

Well that ranks somewhere on a scale for diagnosing a severity of mental illness.  I knew there was a fanfic for just about anything online, but Morris Itals?  I bet there's Rule 34 Ital stuff out there too now I've typed this.

[saucedoctor]

I think Pearson Flicks has been, as Wat might say, "doing a lot of green"

[Cavcraft]

Some ugly bint in a 12 plate Skoda estate on the M53 earlier. Straight onto the motorway and into the right had lane in fell swoop, seemingly without the aid of mirrors. She then sat there going slower than the cars in the nearside lane, so I flashed my lights, she pulled into said nearside lane then gave me (what I assume was) a volley full of abuse as I drove past her. 

It was brill, she was clearly going right off her tits and seemed to have taken it very personally. I just flicked the Vs and laughed a bit, then she overtook me later on and tried to keep me in the middle lane. I was coming off at the next junction anyhow so just sat there laughing whilst she carried on going off her tits. Made my day, silly cow!

[beko1987]

As the original Grumpy Old Man thread reaches nigh on 70 pages as I type this, I thought I'd attemp to lighten the mood.

What makes you grin/snigger/smirk?

It can be anything...seeing a traffic warden spontaneously combust?

A particulaly poor joke?

A song?

A website?

 

I was introduced to this lot by a doctor chum of mine, they're called "The Amateur Transplants". Some will already be familiar with their "London Underground" ditty, but heres another....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R7QX0zI ... re=related

 

Please add your own pictures, links, stories, jokes whatever, so we can prove to ourselves we're not all suicidal, miserable old (and in some cases not so old) grumps.

Thangyooverrrrrmuch. (in an Elvis style).

Myself and my friends went through college listening to those guys! That and Stephen Lynch before he went soft and shit

 

If you want to fucking lol, have a listen to:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Rj1EB4wfyU

 

and

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlmEc8rd_Nw

Infact the whole album is gr9! Must listen to it now!

[beko1987]

Stupid link wont link

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlmEc8rd_Nw

[Lankytim]

Those SMARTs are great motors, I don't care what anyone says. I drove one from Edinburgh to Stratford and found it a lovely motor to hoon about in. Half of the journey I had a Geordie bloke in the boot too! 

[dollywobbler]

Some ugly bint in a 12 plate Skoda estate on the M53 earlier. Straight onto the motorway and into the right had lane in fell swoop, seemingly without the aid of mirrors. She then sat there going slower than the cars in the nearside lane, so I flashed my lights, she pulled into said nearside lane then gave me (what I assume was) a volley full of abuse as I drove past her. 

It was brill, she was clearly going right off her tits and seemed to have taken it very personally. I just flicked the Vs and laughed a bit, then she overtook me later on and tried to keep me in the middle lane. I was coming off at the next junction anyhow so just sat there laughing whilst she carried on going off her tits. Made my day, silly cow!

 

 Was it an Octavia? I've got a new theory that Octavia drivers are skipping their meds. Had a bell-end in a silver one pissing me off no end on the M5 when I was in the Golf. One of those who comes flying past at 100, then slows to 60, then gets annoyed with you overtaking, then flys past at 100mph etc etc.

[overrun]

Picked this up today as a runaround for my dad. Autoshite beige and capable of miserly MPG.

 

£2200.

 

[overrun]

Those SMARTs are great motors, I don't care what anyone says. I drove one from Edinburgh to Stratford and found it a lovely motor to hoon about in. Half of the journey I had a Geordie bloke in the boot too!

 

That's quite a trek. Were you three-up, then?

Tell me m0ar.

[trigger]

That Renault things cheap, what is it?

[overrun]

That Renault things cheap, what is it?

It's a 1.5 DCi 86 brake Clio, mate.

Not the bonniest girl at the dance, I'm sure many will agree.

They can do 70 MPG though and average around 60 MPG.

With £30 road tax and group 2 insurance.

 

We've been looking for one for him for a few weeks now, albeit around 06/07 cars.

 

A nigh-on 300 mile roundtrip to Nottingham, given the appealing price (£2500 ono) was worthwhile for this one and it offsets the turd we viewed in Manchester, last week.

[trigger]

I guess it's high mileage? Still it's very cheap for a 59 plate car!

[HillmanImp]

I agree with Trigger, that is cheap. Whats wrong with it? Looks like a steal at that price.

 

Whats the verdict on these. My old dear has one. She does not seem to have had any problems with it or owt. She seems to like it.

[Richard]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKsGKERivTQ

 

Lidl/Aldi snobbery amuses me, I shop in them all the time and they are almost 100% scratter-free, and they certainly don't have whole aisles dedicated to ready meals and blue pop, like Asda do. To my knowledge they have never needed to put signs up reminding people to get dressed before they go shopping. (That appears to be the same woman as in the video)

[beko1987]

That is a brilliant video! Close to the mark around here too!

[overrun]

I guess it's high mileage? Still it's very cheap for a 59 plate car!

It is indeed high. 143K lol. Belonged to an engineer type who was travelling around 700 miles per week.

So it has a full main dealer service history and as it's motorway miles, is in cracking condition.

 

It needs the front brakes doing and an alternator pulley, as the current one is getting a bit noisy.

 

It drives great, no smoke, interior rattles, knocks etc. Pulls as they all do.

Their are many 1.5 DCi engines with 170-200K on them when you look at cars for sale, so throw another timing belt on to be sure, and it should march on for a fair old while yet.

 

Definitley worth a punt, imo. Some mk2 DCi's have sold for more.

 

Hillman - the verdict tends to be that they rarely go wrong. No injector or DMF carry on, usually.

A mate has just bought his sisters 56 plate from her because she bought a brand new one.

It has covered 112k and still drives and looks like new, averaging well over 60 MPG around the doors.

 

Their dad has a mk2(?) triangular headlight model, it occasionaly gums up the EGR valve, but is otherwise an epic little car that also runs on a shoestring.

[JohnDeere]

Couple of pics from a drive to Heathrow this morning.  first up, this class-act of parking in the T5 long-stay.  At least they didn't have far to walk to the bus stop - one to resurrect the parking thread

 

 

 

 

And then, "when sign-writing goes wrong" -- harder to see - but look quite closely at the top-right of the back

 

 

Lots of mentions of their professionalism and (on the side) "attention to detail".  Obviously that professional attention to detail didn't extend to proof reading the company slogan.

 

 

[Junkman]

Please tell me that you photoshopped this.

[overrun]

I saw a mk4 Mondeo estate drive by me earlier that appeared to have been baseball batted every few inches on every panel.

 

I grin, because I am sure it was deserved.

[vulgalour]

When I bought the beige wedge, and for some time afterwards, whenever it rained it stank of damp inside.  With the recent biblical weather we've been having I expected it to have become quite fusty inside as its parked out in the elements but now, it actually smells fresh and lovely inside.  I wonder if that means I've stopped water getting in somewhere?  Makes me happy, at any rate.

[Wilko220]

Pretty extreme attempt to avoid a bollocking from the Mrs.

I bet he's the sort of guy who grafittis on toilet doors as well...

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-24624639

[JohnDeere]

Please tell me that you photoshopped this.

 

Which one?  but no, straight from iphone to Flickr

[Des]

Scrubbed my drive with soap and a broom this morning, pulled out the power washer but the high pressure hose was pissing out where it's been kinked for 20 years or so, nothing to lose so I had a go at recrimping, chopped a new ferrule fom some pipe and cut a nut in half to make a crimping die, wanged it up in a vice and gave it a good twat of a hammer.

 

 

Actually a good looking result and didn't burst apart as soon as I tried it.

 

 

Next week boys and girls, making brake flexi hoses.

[overrun]

BETA THAN PIRTEK

 

Someone on a Ford forum wanted to make his own brake flexi's. Planned on using standard rubber flexis and replacing the majority with braided hose, jubilee clipped on.

[overrun]

Sitting in a Renault Twizzy.

[Wilko220]

I don't want to turn this into Martin Lewis's Money Saving Pikeys - but I thought it was worth a grin that I've just found what, on the face of it, seems to be a damn good current account deal. 4% interest and low overdraft rate too.

http://www.ybonline.co.uk/personal/current-accounts/direct/

[cort16]

My XJR failed it's MOT on a load of stuff a few weeks ago. Wheel bearings, ball joints and a few other things. The wheel bearings looked like a mare so I called a Jag specialist in Paisley who looked at the fail sheet and spotted couple of suspect looking fails (the wheel bearings are meant to have play in them etc). I dropped it in this morning, he looked at it and put it around to his MOT guy who it passed first time. Result. £80

 

That's the last time I'm putting a car into the first guys I used.

[overrun]

 

31 year old Escort rescuing a 31 day old Transporter.

[Cavcraft]

Out Audi-ing some turd in a white car this evening on the M56/M53 interchange. I don't really know what Audi is what, but it was one of the shitty sort of Golf sized things. They seem to only come in white or black, or occasionally red, and are almost all piloted by angry young knobheads.

It's all very well using all three lanes of the M56 to overtake/undertake/weave about on, but if you can't read the road (because you're a massive tit head) then this knobhead will be in front of you.

[brickwall]

My XJR failed it's MOT on a load of stuff a few weeks ago. Wheel bearings, ball joints and a few other things. The wheel bearings looked like a mare so I called a Jag specialist in Paisley who looked at the fail sheet and spotted couple of suspect looking fails (the wheel bearings are meant to have play in them etc). I dropped it in this morning, he looked at it and put it around to his MOT guy who it passed first time. Result. £80

 

That's the last time I'm putting a car into the first guys I used.

 

Who's  the Jag specialist in Paisley please?