The new news 24 thread

[peter9000uk]

SOn has discovered that the lights do not go off with the ignition on his 323. Laguna supplied electricity to start.

 

Bloody unreliable Jap cars! Should have bought French, but you can't tell the youngsters of today

[dollywobbler]

Got a new watch.

 

Love it. Had one many, many years ago - though it seems that these days, you can change the colour of the backlight to all sorts of nasty shades.

[RobT]

Got a new watch.

 

 

Didn't know they still made these. I used to wear Lorus watches in my youth, remember those?

 

On VSO a few years ago I bought a cheap watch in Tanzania that looked like a Casio (same font and all) but was called 'a Casino'. It used to lose about 2 minutes every day!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Got a new watch.

 

Wikipedia[/url]":yk73i4rj]According to The Guardian, "the Casio F-91W digital watch was declared to be 'the sign of al-Qaida' and a contributing factor to continued detention of prisoners by the analysts stationed at Guantánamo Bay. Briefing documents used to train staff in assessing the threat level of new detainees advise that possession of the F-91W – available online for as little as £4 – suggests the wearer has been trained in bomb making by al-Qaida in Afghanistan." United States Military intelligence officials have identified the F91W as a watch that terrorists use when constructing time bombs.

[dollywobbler]

Shit. My secret is out. I was worried the beard might be a giveaway but it's actually the fact that I wear a watch that's probably sold millions.

[Shep Shepherd]

Took delivery of one of these today:

 

 

It's GR11 for listening to Absolute 80s on the move and should make my drive to Leeds in The Volvo tomorrow quite pleasant

[CreepingJesus]

Shit. My secret is out. I was worried the beard might be a giveaway but it's actually the fact that I wear a watch that's probably sold millions.

 

You think you've got it bad? I'll see your beardy/hairy look and raise you a My-Birthday's-The-Same-As-Bin Laden.

 

I keep wearing out driver's floormats, due to the near constant presence of nasty manky boots on my leg-ends. So i've adopted the 'shiter's solution...

...£2.98 coir doormat from Ikea. Should last for ages, and it's virtually perfectly tailored already*, to the Volvo's footwell. Job's a good 'un, and eco-friendly too. So now I can swim out to Bass Rock and murder a puffin or two to redress the balance.

[vulgalour]

Finally got that hedge done on one side, filled a whole wheelie bin with clippings and there's still more needs to come off to make it a smart job. In car related news, the plans for car storage have changed again when I noticed it would be easier to construct an extra garage than to reroute the drive. So, when the weather is dry and I can be arsed, I'll be measuring the spaces I think I can fit a double garage and a single garage and then pricing up concrete and garage construction materials. For extra shite points, I could use the Allotment style of architecture. I would like to have all three cars under cover and the massively heavy drive gates rehung for security.

[retrogeezer]

you can buy those cool calculator ones from Amazon for £15 delivered:

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Casio-CA-53W-1Z ... 763&sr=8-1

 

[retrogeezer]

This has never happened to me before while a car has been in my ownerships, I found it strangely exciting!:

 

 

[MonsterMaster]

Happy 100 thousand miles!^ I had a casio watch / calculator/ tv controller that i used to play havoc with in school. anytime i was in r.e. watchin jason an the argonauts id just flick it over! used to drive mr. skudlarek mental till he figured it out.

[SambaS]

PRAISE BE! My neighbour's wi-fi is back on so pictures work and pages load in seconds as opposed to minutes =DDD

[cort16]

erm..

http://blog.caranddriver.com/mgs-icon-concept-unveiled-in-china-beijing-auto-show/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+caranddriver%2Fblog+%28Car+and+Driver%29

 

Chinese-owned MG unveiled a concept SUV called the Icon at the Beijing show, but we’re thinking it would have been more accurately named Iconoclastâ€â€which means one who attacks cherished beliefs and institutions.

[SambaS]

Oh Christ

[tonedepear]

Has it got a Tranfromers hologram on the roof?

 

Edit: It also seems to have trafficators. Winnah.

 

Regardless, I reckon it looks fab.

[dollywobbler]

Isn't that the new Land Rover?

[tonedepear]

Isn't that the new Land Rover?

 

Nah, it's the next gen Juke.

[wuvvum]

I finally bit the bullet today and invested in a new sat nav, to replace the ancient Navman iCN 510 that I bought secondhand from Cash Converters five years ago. It still works, but it takes forever to pick up satellites and the maps are hopelessly out of date, plus it will only search on the first part of the post code. My phone has GPS capability and seems to pick up a signal more quickly than the Navman, but the main issue with relying on the phone is that it doesn't have maps installed - it downloads them from Google Maps as it goes - which means that in areas where there's a weak or nonexistent Vodafone signal it won't work. So I bought the cheapest sat nav in the Argos catalogue - a £49.99 Binatone job. It's basic but it does the job, and acquires a signal far more quickly than the old one. The only drawback I've found so far compared to the Navman is it won't display your speed on the map screen - you have to go to the GPS status screen, which shows speed to the nearest 0.1mph and altitude to the nearest yard. I also doubt it will last as long as the Navman (which is 7 years old now), but it should get me about for a while.

 

Also bought Need for Speed: The Run for the PS3, so will doubtless be playing that over the weekend, especially if the weather is as shit as they say it's going to be.

[eddyramrod]

That batch of Vanguards I posted about? Being grumpy about having to advertise them? They sold today, first phone call, for the advertised price. The bloke is a collector with an estimated 1000-strong inventory, and likes police cars especially. Hmm, might be my twin brother! We're going to have to inspect each other's collections, especially as he says he might buy more.

[barefoot]

Broke Porsche last night.

 

It's got the sports seats with the ridiculously fat side bolsters.

To avoid wearing these out, I have spent the last 200,000 miles

sliding the seat backwards to get out & forwards to drive.

 

The lever snapped off in my hand leaving the seat so far back

I can't reach the pedals.

 

I shall be looking for a scrap seat from which to pilfer the lever this afternoon.

[dollywobbler]

Maverick misfire seems to have gone. Must be the new leads as I haven't got around to fitting the new coil. Oh well. Nice to have a spare!

[ashmicro]

PRAISE BE! My neighbour's wi-fi is back on so pictures work and pages load in seconds as opposed to minutes =DDD

 

 

You need to have a read at The Telephone Misuse Act.

 

Anyways, I was on a job today, and went a bit "Hirst" I shall explain.

 

I got a phone call last eventide from my buddy Devlin at the NI Civil Service IT Group.

Dev: "Andy mate, it's Dev. Sorry about the short notice, but we've a job for you in the morning. Interested?"

Me: "Aye, alright Dev mate, what's the crack?"

Dev: "It's the main stack @ xx. We're a bit flat out at the minute with a bad segment @ yy. No, fuck that I'll level with you - we haven't a cunting bastard arse bollocking FUCKING CLUE what's wrong" (I thought it was Watanabe I was talking to for a minute )

 

Anyway, sorted out that I'd arrive whenever suited me this morning (usual arrangement for short notice jobs. As it happened I needed to look after my little niece for an hour today), and I'd give it a blatter. I arrived at xx, signed in the contractors' book and got my pass. I was just shooting the breeze for a few seconds with the security staff* when some white-shirted twat comes along actually TAPPING his fucking watch. "What time do you call this? I'll be having words with your superior. You were late before, I remember" he said, big-timing it in front of the security team and the dozen or so others in the large main entrance lobby.

 

I said "Who the fuck do you think you are, short arse? Alex fucking Ferguson? I agreed to come here when it suited ME. Suddenly, I don't fancy it. YOU can explain to the Head Shed why your computer network is still fucked. I'm Oscar Sierra. See ya"

 

White Shirt just stood there and blinked at me, in silence, and all the while I'm thinking Norris Cole from Corrie and trying not to laugh as I had my War face on.

 

"Oh, he says eventually "you're not here about the lift, then?

 

"No, I am not", I said, playing to the assembled folks in the lobby, all of whom were watching, "but I reckon I could have a good go at a lift. I mean, how hard can it be?"

 

Everyone just laughed, White Shirt looked as if he wished the lift shaft would swallow him up, and then just walked off. Bit of a ramble, but my point is this: talk to people as you would wish to be spoken to. All White Shirt had to do was ask me was I there about the lift. Mind you, the Lift Tech, late or not, doesn't deserve to be spoken to like that either.

 

I got the job done (not the lift, sadly, although I wouldn't mind seeing how one works), happy Civil Service folks in multitude, nice cheque on the way. I really should have gone to find White Shirt and (a) apologised, and ( thanked him for reminding me PRECISELY why I left the Civil Service.

 

 

* Security bods. As a contractor, one learns that security are the ones to "keep in" with - they know EVERYTHING, and are almost always the most down to earth and sensible folks on any given site. Also, the main man on the job above was in the same regiment as me, albeit 14 years before me.

[cort16]

I totally agree with that. Speak to people as you wish to be spoken to and you'll be alright.

[eddyramrod]

...revenge on management type

 

Well done! And yes, absolutely right, treat people as you would wish to be treated. That never worked for me in England, but it seems to go down well enough with Cypriots. You and the lift man are specialists, called in to do something nobody else there can do. As far as I can see, that automatically accords you a level of respect. There's still an awful lot of squire-and-serf mentality in management; about 199% too much.

[TimothyClaypole]

Neighbours Wifi is free game if they are with BT if you are on the "Fon" thingie.

 

 

(They promise you Broadband but you get 512k and then they allow any passing faggot to tap in to an already shit connection).

[HMC]

Got bored of the MGB so have swapped it and a rotten Austin A35 for a Farmer's 1950s Morris Oxford

[dollywobbler]

Got bored of the MGB so have swapped it and a rotten Austin A35 for a Farmer's 1950s Morris Oxford

 

Blimey. An MO? Pics please!

[ashmicro]

Cheers lads. Eddy, while I take your point about specialists being accorded a degree of respect, some of the cunts I used to work with needed a reminder in how to treat human beings as such, never mind specialists. Actually, by and large, people in Northern Ireland are usually quite polite and friendly, and helpful too. A quick example is when me and my mate called into a petrol station one time to get smokes and the big fella in front of us in the queue went down on the deck with a very obvious heart attack. My mate Daz, also an ex soldier gave him CPR, I got aspirin off one of the shelves to give him to chew, a woman gave me her coat to put under his head and about 10 people called an ambulance. The man was OK. Here's the thing: a while later, the petrol station staff put up a poster, made by the man's kids, saying "Thank You to everybudy (sic) who helped my Daddy Colin Hempton"

 

Belfast Royal Victoria Hospital actually phoned the Carrickfergus Milestone (the petrol station) to tell them that Mr Hempton was OK, and to ask them to pass on the news to whoever asked, as they had been inundated with phone calls.

 

Now square that with the 40 years we were killing each other. Weird, eh?

[ashmicro]

Neighbours Wifi is free game if they are with BT if you are on the "Fon" thingie.

 

 

(They promise you Broadband but you get 512k and then they allow any passing faggot to tap in to an already shit connection).

 

So some twat uses your FON to download child pornography. Discuss.

[ashmicro]

What BT are doing could be classed as "abstraction of electricity" as if you connected to a open network that you didn't have authorisation to that's what the owner can go to Civil court with. Never mind if it is showing the same Public ip as you own the if someone is downloading illegal contain Its going to be our heads as BT will claim it wasn't them.