It's grim up north....tales from the Primate House

[Twiggy]

Good luck - hope it all goes well.

[The Moog]

This is definitely the car you definitely weren't going to definitely buy as you definitely had far too many cars already ...

[dome]

5 hours ago, NorthernMonkey said:

Probably of no surprise whatsoever to anyone who knows me but today is collectioneering type of day.

Stocked up on diesel and maccys coffee....let’s head south!!

Is that an L322 and if so when are you delivering it to me?

[hairnet]

25 minutes ago, The Moog said:

This is definitely the car you definitely weren't going to definitely buy as you definitely had far too many cars already ...

Didn't everybody that has more than two say that

Rich feckers

[NorthernMonkey]

I’ll just leave this here for a moment...

What a bloody machine...more later 🙂

 

 

 

[hairnet]

was the boss a little grey dot in the distance most of the way home :D

 

[SRi05]

58 minutes ago, NorthernMonkey said:

I’ll just leave this here for a moment...

What a bloody machine...more later 🙂

 

 

 

[NorthernMonkey]

3 hours ago, dome said:

Is that an L322 and if so when are you delivering it to me?

It certainly is.

I’m not sure you’d want this one though...it’s what is politely known as ahem, cosmetically challenged.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s spot on mechanically and transports us round the country on a regular basis but it wouldn’t fare too well at Pebble beach...

[NorthernMonkey]

Anyway, quick update time whilst the kettle boils.

Before anything else, a massive thanks must go to @jon.k for basically mid-describing this fine Teutonic beast.

He mentioned in PMs that it was tatty in places...most importantly, rusty on the boot lid.

 

Yeah, ok, whatevs.

For fuck sake, I’ve seen more rust on a 4 year old Focus at BCA.

Seriously, apart from that and a very minor scuff on a wheel arch that came off when I spat on it, it’s bodily mint.

As it is internally and, following a faultless run up the M5 & M6, seemingly under the bonnet too.

What else did he allege was wrong with it? Oh yes...no locking. Let’s see...

That would appear to suggest a flat key fob battery.

Just stuck a new CR2032 in it and hey presto, working remote locking, as well as keyless entry and keyless start too.

Anyway, dinner time and beer o’clock now before the bake off final so we’ll do another update tomorrow.

Once again, great to meet you Jon, and Walter too 👍

[Robson3022]

Dib dibs dibs buying cars from you is the best. Always undersold and usually with some free pastry. 

[jon.k]

Glad you’re pleased with it and nice to meet you. I’m looking forward to seeing it polished up and ready to go. 

 That’s not bad mpg is it? 

[dome]

If that's an A4 and you need any bits my S4 is rapidly on it's way to becoming component parts, just let me know!

[Agila]

5 minutes ago, dome said:

If that's an A4 and you need any bits my S4 is rapidly on it's way to becoming component parts, just let me know!

A8 3.0 tdi

[hairnet]

Specs for the Scottish bloke

[NorthernMonkey]

4 hours ago, dome said:

If that's an A4 and you need any bits my S4 is rapidly on it's way to becoming component parts, just let me know!

As the right honourable member alluded to, it’s an A8. This one to be exact...

What’s the wheel situation with yours? This has got the optional S line 20” rims, two of which need tyres, and I’m tempted to downgrade slightly to something with slightly more sidewall. Not sure I can go too small though with the callipers...19s were standard spec so may be the premium choice.

 

[hairnet]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Audi-A8-D2-17-Polished-Competition-Alloy-Wheels-with-Pirelli-winter-tyres/143595646157?hash=item216ef7accd:g:gkUAAOSwiFFerxnf

[dome]

2 hours ago, NorthernMonkey said:

As the right honourable member alluded to, it’s an A8. This one to be exact...

What’s the wheel situation with yours? This has got the optional S line 20” rims, two of which need tyres, and I’m tempted to downgrade slightly to something with slightly more sidewall. Not sure I can go too small though with the callipers...19s were standard spec so may be the premium choice.

 

Breaking it as we speak. Wheels have gone sadly, it's on these to drag it around the workshop

[NorthernMonkey]

I haven’t had time to even look at the A8 this week as I’ve been busy doing the cam belt, water pump and handbrake cables on the Lexus which is going to live with one of my neighbours who keeps drooling over it and chasing bits for the forum Vel Satis which will hopefully be finding its next custodian shortly.

Bearing this in mind, and also taking into account I’m running very low indeed on parking spaces, the only sensible thing to do is buy another six metres of fun.

As offered up here on the modern thread, I give you the latest addition to the fleet.....

 

Sorry for the stealing your photo, @cobblers, but there was enough fuel in to get home and it’s a bit dark now.

There’s a few little niggles to sort first before I clear a space at the top of the drive where the serious business of conversion into a camper can get underway. I’ll start a dedicated thread on it in due course so you can all see just how straight forward* this process is.

 

[hairnet]

 

[cobblers]

Glad it got you home mate, I wouldn't have tackled it myself but I'm such a pessimist. TBH it'll probably be 100% fault free from now on.

With some time spent it'll definitely make one. I wish I'd pinched the stereo out of it now as I've just realised the poverty one in mine doesn't even have bluetooth.

What sort of MPGs did you get? 

[NorthernMonkey]

9 minutes ago, cobblers said:

Glad it got you home mate, I wouldn't have tackled it myself but I'm such a pessimist.

With some time spent it'll definitely make one. I wish I'd pinched the stereo out of it now as I've just realised the poverty one in mine doesn't even have bluetooth.

What sort of MPGs did you get? 

I’m glad I didn’t leave it any longer than as the radio is bloody excellent!!

I paired up my phone then before I knew it was streaming all my show tunes from Amazon music! It’s the best equipped thing I’ve ever owned!!

MPGs wise, it averaged low 40s but that was doing a steady 65 all the way on cruise control. The injector pipe has stayed resolutely connected all the way so hopefully that may well be cured with the fettling at yours.

Unfortunately, the tyre hasn’t grown any more tread though but it’s looking like a full set of Hankook van tyres are coming in around £220 so that’s the first job this week, alongside a new screen that’s already ordered from my tame glass man.

[NorthernMonkey]

Incidentally, has anyone got any experience with these?

 

At that price, I’m not holding out much hope but you never know?

[cobblers]

How tame is your glass man? I could do with a couple of opening side windows for mine and I'm sure they weren't £320 a pair the last time I looked!!!

[cort16]

4 minutes ago, NorthernMonkey said:

Incidentally, has anyone got any experience with these?

 

At that price, I’m not holding out much hope but you never know?

I don't think that will be man enough to pull that out. There's multiple layers and re enforcements in there.

I think you'd need to pull it out with something a bit meatier or cut it out, big hammers then weld it back in. 

 

[NorthernMonkey]

I’ll ask him what the options are whilst he’s doing the screen...he’s pretty good to be fair, although I’ve never known anyone’s phone ring so often for jobs. He must have taken 6 bookings in the 45 minutes he took to do a screen in the AX last month.

[NorthernMonkey]

Just now, cort16 said:

I don't think that will be man enough to pull that out. There's multiple layers and re enforcements in there.

I think you'd need to pull it out with something a bit meatier or cut it out, big hammers then weld it back in. 

 

Yep, current idea is to drill and bolt a nice meaty eyelet with a spreader plate to it then have a go at using the 25t winch on the wagon to pull it back into shape a bit. The ebay one might help with a bit of fine tuning on it though, along with a couple of the small creases higher up.

[NorthernMonkey]

Thinking about it, my mate has a 10t porta-power kit in his unit that I can borrow too.
I’ve had success in the past with the small spreader tool on sills etc

[cort16]

2 minutes ago, NorthernMonkey said:

Thinking about it, my mate has a 10t porta-power kit in his unit that I can borrow too.
I’ve had success in the past with the small spreader tool on sills etc

I think that would do the job. Those welder dent pullers work well for panel dents so might still be useful when you get the bigger dents off.

Off topic but did you manage to fix the central locking issue on that A8?

[Cord Fourteener]

On 8/14/2020 at 5:00 PM, NorthernMonkey said:

Finally, a gratuitous yard shot for good measure... ? 

 

 

Have you put this in the 'show us your garage' thread? You ought to, it's a nice shot.

[cobblers]

My plan for that sill was to clamp my cheap vice onto the dented in bit of the pinch weld and then pull it out using a chain attached to a good steel bar wedged against the front wheel with a one of those ratcheting 4x4 jacks against the rear wheel to do the pulling. If you look a that body cut in the back, it's not mega thick steel but I don't think it'll slide hammer out.