Annoying shite during prospective vehicle viewing

[Rod/b]

"Age related marks" No they're clumsy cunt related marks, cars dont just scuff their own bumpers as they get older.

[rantingYoof]

'I note from the mileage that the cambelt is due, could you tell me if it's been done?'

 

'Erm not sure mate. It's a chain mate actually.'

 

(It was a Volvo-engined 2.5T Mondeo with belt change every 110k or 10 years)

 

'Ah okay. Nevermind. Bye.'

 

Don't expect encyclopedic knowledge but if you don't know just say. Don't blag or lie.

 

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

[Bianconeri]

You can find dozens like this.

 

Highly polished and overpriced piece of bodge, £10,000 spent with 'bills to prove' so up at £15,000 but 'just' needs brake pads, or 'just' needs MOT, or 'I am told' needs 28p part to complete,

 

In fact, any £plenty spent so worth £plenty more adverts.

[Fabergé Greggs]

"You won't find a better one"

 

Don't bet on what I'll find during another 30 years of idle internet car browsing.

[sierraman]

Everyone always used to say "buy private, not trade". I've found it the opposite, a lot of the private sales think the car is worth a small fortune, they'll lie through their neck about faults. Trade, usually, they'll not want the hassle of comeback and it'll be at the right price. With a private sale the seller is thinking about the hundred quid they had to spend on tyres a month ago etc, so can be a bit awkward as it's something they've had an interest in. Not saying this is the rule but it's something I've seen time again.

[Jazoli]

This is why I generally buy cars within 10 miles, I have spend days and hundreds of pounds travelling round the country to view some utter shit that has been described as mint but is anything but, my last half dozen cars have been bought from local FB groups, I've given up focusing on any particular car, I just look for service history, decent tyres, working ac and a mature owner, I've just sold my Octy VRS and bought a mk5 Astra, it was 2 miles away on the other side of town and better than anything else I'd seen, all it has to do is get me to work when its raining and in winter, I really don't care anymore, I've no idea if they are shit or not

[twosmoke300]

Wet seats / footwells being " just been valeted innit m8 "

Grr

[Pillock]

Once went to view a 205GTI with an ex-mate.

The guy insisted that the car could not be driven by anyone else as their "driving other cars" clause (which we both had) was rendered invalid by a clause in his insurance. He was less than convincing when explaining this clause.

 

So he took us out for a drive. First gear, pulled out of his farmyard, second, fourth, fifth, whilst he's blathering on about how well it drives. Got to a junction, into fourth, second, keep it moving, fourth, fifth. The cheeky fucker did about 5 miles and didn't use third once.

 

Got back to his place, starts wanting to know if we're going to buy. "Does third gear work?" "Yeah mate, just the way I drive innit. I'd show you, but it's a bit low on petrol now and getting a bit dark".

 

BYE.

[mk2_craig]

The old "warmed it up for you" wheeze, because the autochokes Donald Ducked and a cold start needs five minutes careful feathering of the throttle before it'll idle well enough to pull away.

[Junkman]

Another thing that makes my piss boil is people who think they somehow have to justify why they sell a car.

 

I.

Don't.

Give.

A.

Shit.

 

Worst are the ones that trouble me with some tragic story, here is a prime example:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ford-granada-2-3-L-classic-ford-barn-find/172782915478

 

 

The previous owner of this classic sadly passed away and his wife wanted it moving off the drive as it upset her every time she looked out the window so was parked up at the garage that looked after the car before he passed away

 

I was reasonably happy before I was told this, fuck you very much for dragging me down.

Now I really don't want the car anymore.

[Bianconeri]

This is why I generally buy cars within 10 miles, I have spend days and hundreds of pounds travelling round the country to view some utter shit that has been described as mint but is anything but, my last half dozen cars have been bought from local FB groups, I've given up focusing on any particular car, I just look for service history, decent tyres and working ac and a mature owner, I've just sold my Octy VRS and bought a mk5 Astra, it was within 2 miles and better than anything else I'd seen, all it has to do is get me to work when its raining and in winter, I really don't care anymore, I've no idea if they are shit or not

We've had a 'buy local' policy for just about everything for a few years now. I'd rather the money went into the local economy and you know who the local supplier is. It bugs me that you always get the "cheaper on the internet" comments but how about "get it now from a supplier who will be there next week"?

 

Ever since the "Skoda incident" back in 2010 I won't buy a modern car unless there's a dealer within half an hour (and I won't buy anything VAG).

[Bianconeri]

Another thing that makes my piss boil is people who think they somehow have to justify why they sell a car.

 

I.

Don"t.

Give.

A.

Shit.

 

Worst are the ones that trouble me with some tragic story, here is a prime example:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ford-granada-2-3-L-classic-ford-barn-find/172782915478

 

 

 

I was reasonably happy before I was told this, fuck you very much for dragging me down.

Now I really don't want the car anymore.

Probate sale, 1983 Granada 2.3 - that's the way to do it.

[Ben_O]

Looked at a fucked Rover 25 last year. It was misfiring badly on idle and pouring steam from the tailpipe.

 

The seller advised me that it had a very slight weep from the cam cover gasket which is why he had steam cleaned the engine 5 minutes ago so he could show me the leak.

Apparently the reason for the bad misfire was because he had literally just washed the engine and water must have got in M8.

 

I wouldn't mind his attempt at blatantly trying to rip me off but he bought the car to me for the viewing at the garage where I work.....

 

Naturally I turned the car down but he bought it in a week later for an MOT and it was running so badly by then that we had to abort the test.

[Schaefft]

This is why I generally buy cars within 10 miles, I have spend days and hundreds of pounds travelling round the country to view some utter shit that has been described as mint but is anything but, my last half dozen cars have been bought from local FB groups, I've given up focusing on any particular car, I just look for service history, decent tyres and working ac and a mature owner, I've just sold my Octy VRS and bought a mk5 Astra, it was within 2 miles and better than anything else I'd seen, all it has to do is get me to work when its raining and in winter, I really don't care anymore, I've no idea if they are shit or not

but that would be boring

[dave21478]

Daves top tip for car buying - play dumb. I mean Forrest Gump levels of dumb.

 

As the seller spouts off their bullshit, just nod along with the occasional "really?" in there too. There is no point in arguing the toss with this type of person....its just a waste of time.

Also, when they stop talking....dont reply, just stare at them or at the car. People hate uncomfortable silences and will do anything to fill them so will continue spouting more stuff, often things they didnt want to or should not have said.

[Landy Mann]

Looked at a fucked Rover 25 last year. It was misfiring badly on idle and pouring steam from the tailpipe.

 

The seller advised me that it had a very slight weep from the cam cover gasket which is why he had steam cleaned the engine 5 minutes ago so he could show me the leak.

Apparently the reason for the bad misfire was because he had literally just washed the engine and water must have got in M8.

 

I wouldn't mind his attempt at blatantly trying to rip me off but he bought the car to me for the viewing at the garage where I work.....

 

Naturally I turned the car down but he bought it in a week later for an MOT and it was running so badly by then that we had to abort the test.

I've got one of those for sale...

 

Sent from my S60 using Tapatalk

[richardthestag]

good condition for year, first to see will buy and no timewasters are the annoying shit in the adverts. 

 

So the fact that 99% of the car's peers are now Beco Washing machines must mean that this festering heap is genuinely good condition etc

 

And am I a time waster by rocking up and having a look around it but not as a definite purchaser? and If I am the first to see is there some sort of contract already in place that means I must buy?

 

Absolute refusal to haggle gets on my tits too. not talking about the piss take haggling that the Wycombe Taxi drivers used to get up to where they offer you 30% of the absolute bargain price you have it up for, or mike Brewer shenanigans. but finding the car is somewhat less than the perfect that you are led to believe but still prepared to give it a go and the seller drops lines in like "got them queuing up on the phone" "another chap wants it at asking if you dont" etc nah I will walk and let you waste your and their time GLWTSMate!

[CortinaDave]

"I know what these are worth so no silly offers" invariably means you want at least double the car's actual value.

 

"Full history but previous owner lost all the paperwork" Did they aye?

 

So the previous owner was so organised that they had it meticulously serviced, yet at the same time were so disorganised they lost the proof of all that work? Seems legit.

[matty879]

a recent one springs to mind,the sellers neighbours were outside having their daily skol super,and they came across to tell me what a minter it was,the fact i was viewing as a none runner and the head was on the back seat didnt register with him,when he told me he had stripped it,i made my excuses and left when he got a bit loud.

[Kiltox]

It is what it is

[sierraman]

I get worried when they harp on about how brilliant it's been. Err why are you selling then?

[Bianconeri]

Where you feel the need to tell me what it's not in your spam-filled ramblings. If I want a Thunderclap Mark 4 V6 that's what I look for, I don't need telling it's not an Escort, Cavalier or 911 Turbot.

[Kiltox]

Recent trend at the moment seems to be

 

Early 90s car nobody wanted when new

Omg retro! HML! When did you last see one!

£72000

 

Not talking about the white room wankers either just the same old wannabe trader plebs on Facebook and eBay

[Bianconeri]

And of course the old favourite, the rambling story of a load of half truths and made up BS ( on the intertwat innit M54 ) about Nigel Spanner-Wratchett dreaming up the design in the khazi of the Stinking Wallaby Chinese Restaurant in 1959 and how 38,000,000 were built in his shed in Lower Plonker on the Dangle of which 8 survive but only one ( this one ) had the reclining hub cap, faded pink paint, and slashed vinyl seat options FROM THE FACTORY! (I am told).

[rantingYoof]

Fine; lets look at the 1.4 ecoFlex SRi. Salesman brings it round running on fumes. It stalls at a standstill then won't restart and appears to have discharged it's battery. Salesman in his shiny suit looks put out and jump starts it. Cue dash EML bingo and no rev counter or speedo. 

We swiftly walked away from that one.

 

This is from another thread about someone helpfully assisting someone in car viewing.

 

THIS. This can fuck right off. I've had two cars run out of petrol on test drives because the dealer has them sitting literally with a glassful in the tank. I know that if you have umpteen cars on your forecourt you're not going to want to fork out putting 15 litres in each one or something, and that having twenty cars with petrol in the tanks on a forecourt is begging for syphoning and the like to happen. However anything that's been taken in P/X with half a tank should have that left in it.

 

But at least if you have someone interested in a car then make sure it can fucking start up and idle without stalling, and it can manage a 5 mile test drive without conking out at traffic lights and leaving me stranded with a line of traffic behind me.

 

Any car that's brought to me on fumes or with a range of '0' will not be driven until petrol has been put in it.

[Willy Warpit]

I am always amazed by people who include in the advert that the 1600/2 Litre/V8/ Proteus jet engined car still has the original

848cc engine shown on the V5.

 

So how do you explain to your insurers that the accident was caused by you losing control of your 600bhp small block Chevy

engined 848 cc vehicle?

[purplebargeken]

The solution to avoiding post-apocalypse levels of car-buying stress is to buy a car from this very site. Simples.

[sierraman]

I've had a car break down on me on the test drive before. The trouble was it was me who was selling it...

 

Amazingly he wasn't deterred! Wanted to check out the cost of parts!!

[Ben_O]

Not when buying a car but I was selling my old 190E 2.6 quite a few years ago and this chap rocked up with a story about how he was going to strip it out and use it as a drift car.

He didn't want to drive the car but wanted me to drive him in it.

 

We were driving through a 30 zone towards a blind hump back bridge and he demanded I open it up right then.

I didn't but he kept badgering me to.

 

He still bought the car and later shared a video of him on some drift circuit but please don't tell me how to drive my car and to perform dangerous maneuvers etc.

 

FRO

[Junkman]

JM: What's with all that rust? It was described as being rust free!

 

Seller: If you think this is rusty, then you don't know about these cars.

 

JM: Maybe not, but I do know about rust!