Travelling to France

[Guest Hooli]

Yep, gone are the days where irresponsible British travellers could take the piss on the autoroute.

 

It's not only us though... I was once riding flat-out on my GSX1100SZ Katana (no idea how fast I was going, the speedo lost the plot at about 110 mph) on the motorway back to Calais when a grey-haired old chap overtook me serenely in a large French-registered Merc with "S60" on the back. I didn't know at the time that this was a 6.0 V12.

 

Pwned, lol.

 

I once had to use 5th gear to get away from an annoying 3 series uphill in Germany. On the following flat bit I found it it had 'M3' on the boot & went faster than my bike in 6th. Wasn't too much in it though so I wasn't overly embarrassed.

[John F]

The annoying thing is, the old fella wasn't even racing me. He was probably listening to "le classique FM" on the radio, and was probably only mildly vexed at this smelly Englishman on his noisy oriental motorcycle spoiling his view of the road ahead.

 

He won, without a doubt. I genuinely liked him

[martybabes]

I've had two significant experiences on French roads.

 

The first one cost me a few Euros as a result of being stopped by Les Flics on the main autoroute to Paris.  They were unhappy with my doing 150 kph in a 130 area.  Fortunately for me, I had slowed to 150 when I passed their speed gun.

 

The second one was many years earlier when one of British Leyland's best packed up on me (and the missus and child).  We were towed to a garage and spent the day sightseeing and shopping, being instructed to return later that afternoon to the garage where we found that the car was fixed.  AA five star car insurance had been obtained beforehand (well, driving a BL abroad, it made a lot of sense to take that simple precaution) we dutifully handed over several bits of paper and they gave me the keys to the car.

 

Other than those two principal events, our relatively frequent trips abroad (mainly to or through La Belle France) have been very enjoyable.  However, be very aware of the priorite a droite rule in towns and villages, often not signed either.  It always helps, I find, if it is the second time it has happened, to raise two fingers to the French driver you have just obstructed in order to tell them you have erred twice already.  I find they always acknowledge this with a prolonged toot on their audible warning device...

[matty879]

I've just spent the week in Le Mans.

 

Gonna go again next year.

 

I fully recommend travelling around mainland Europe as often as possible.

 

(Obligatory petrol station shot)

my brothers just come back from le mans.

he camped.

all he did was fuckin moan about the cost of beer,and coming home a day early as he car shared and his mate wanted to go home,so next year he is renting an a class.its gotta be the only way to do it.

now back on topic,sort tyres and spare,check jack,brace,locking nut,give it an oil and filter change,you may be suprised how much smoother it is.then coolant,screenwash,euros ENJOY

[Guest Hooli]

I can't believe no one has mentioned the best thing about frogshire yet...

 

Once you get past it all the good parts of Europe are just in front of you!

[Junkman]

don't forget to get a crit' air sticker before going into Paris. https://www.certificat-air.gouv.fr/en/

 

I just did some reasearch on this and cars over 30 years old are exempt.

They don't need this sticker and are free to roam in Paris 24/365.

 

All others need the sticker only from 8am to 8pm on weekdays.

So if you plan to park your car on these days during these hours, you don't need it.

[DSdriver]

SCREENWASH: Don't fill up before you go if you are doing a long distance blat. In France you can get summer screenwash which is usually yellow or orange and contains something that gets rid of the dead bugs which are unaffected by the blue stuff.

No market for it in the UK - not enough summer to make it worthwhile changing over.

[John F]

Junkman, on 23 Jun 2017 - 10:25 AM, said:

I just did some reasearch on this and cars over 30 years old are exempt.

They don't need this sticker and are free to roam in Paris 24/365.

 

All others need the sticker only from 8am to 8pm on weekdays.

So if you plan to park your car on these days during these hours, you don't need it.

 

A bit more detail about this:

 

Cars aged 20 to 30 for which no emissions data is available are not eligible to have a Crit'air sticker and may be refused entry to the city at any time.

 

Vehicles over 30 years old may be used in Crit'air zones, but their registration document must be amended (for a fee, no doubt) to state that they are a véhicule de collection - you can't just turn up in an old Fiat 131 & demand entry. But there is currently no way of distinguishing a véhicule de collection from one that has not had their documents amended...

 

Also, one chap raised this concern with respect to the Crit'air zone in Grenoble::

 

"J'habite à La Mure (38) et je travaille à Bernin (38). Je suis obligé de traverser Grenoble pour faire le trajet car la géographie ne le permet pas autrement. De plus dans la semaine je suis en déplacement avec le véhicule de la boîte. J'ai une vignette n°5. Si je pars au boulot un lundi où la circulation est autorisée et que le vendredi elle est interdite aux véhicules avec cette vignette, comment je fais pour rentrer chez moi le week-end??? Il n'y a aucun moyen de transport disponible et il est hors de question que je laisse la voiture dans le parking de la société."

 

So given the half-arsed nature of the whole thing, therefore, it is probably for the best that it is not rigorously enforced (see http://www.caradisiac.com/crit-air-caradisiac-a-teste-l-interdiction-des-vieilles-voitures-a-paris-video-exclusive-113281.htm). In fact, many Frenchers are dismissing it as a stealth tax that will be dropped within 6 months of the next government coming into power.

[RobT]

My little jolly to France/Switzerland this time last year in my Micra:

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/21665-my-k11-micra-mot-pass-0506/?p=1048137

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/21665-my-k11-micra-mot-pass-0506/?p=1048175

 

 

I've just re-read your travelogue, great stuff!

 

You mention going to a war cemetery.  We did the same in Holland as Mrs T has a relative in the Canadian cemetery at Bergen op Zoom.  I was touched by how well kept they are, and it really is a sobering reminder.

 

I'm already planning my next sojourn.  I can see myself getting addicted to continental road trips...

[Junkman]

Vehicles over 30 years old may be used in Crit'air zones, but their registration document must be amended (for a fee, no doubt) to state that they are a véhicule de collection - you can't just turn up in an old Fiat 131 & demand entry. But there is currently no way of distinguishing a véhicule de collection from one that has not had their documents amended...

If I improve© The Climate in Paris® with - say - my R16 which has "historic" in its V5C,

and show this to a Flic, he'll let me off, wanna bet?

 

In fact, many Frenchers are dismissing it as a stealth tax

Yes, The Climate.

The climate belongs to the government and they charge you for it.

Thjat's what all that horseshit is about.

[John F]

Junkman, on 23 Jun 2017 - 12:37 PM, said:

If I improve© The Climate in Paris® with - say - my R16 which has "historic" in its V5C,

and show this to a Flic, he'll let me off, wanna bet?

 

 

Yes, The Climate.

The climate belongs to the government and they charge you for it.

Thjat's what all that horseshit is about.

 

I suspect that might satisfy ton flic, yes. Unless, and this is so likely that it's bordering on the inevitable, he wants to make life très, très difficile for un boche* that has the affront to compound the crime of his birth by voluntarily living in Britain (the Frog car might admittedly mitigate things slightly, but that won't be enough... trust me).

 

The clean air idea is noble enough, but as I said above it's been implemented in a totally half-arsed manner.

[Junkman]

I severely disagree with the 'half arsed manner' part.

To the contrary, the scam is a masterpiece.

So simple, yet nobody believes it is one and pays away.

[Captain Furious]

So, speed limits abroad are no longer optional? 

[Eddie Honda]

If I improve© The Climate in Paris® with - say - my R16 which has "historic" in its V5C,

and show this to a Flic, he'll let me off, wanna bet?

No, they'll give you a proper French taunting until they realise you're Australian*.

 

 

In my case they won't even bother me because red Irish plates look cool.

[John F]

Eddie Honda, on 23 Jun 2017 - 2:41 PM, said:

No, they'll give you a proper French taunting until they realise you're Australian*.

 

In my case they won't even bother me because red Irish plates denote a pre-1987 vehicle which is 30 years old anyway, and they don't want to have to deal with the paperwork without the pleasure of inconveniencing 'un boche' or 'un rosbif'.

 

FTFY

[Junkman]

I'm convinced the Paris fliccerie has no bigger fish to fry than to ditch a handful of thunderdolts taking their half arsed foreign plated shite to town.

[New POD]

Having just got back from a trip, it makes you realise how shit our roads are compared to much of Africa

 

Edited for accuracy.

 

We had a hire car (which was a ZAR spec Nissan Quashcow Petrol Auto) to drive from CapeTown to Port Elizabeth and another 130 KM's beyond to a Game Reserve (no shooting except with cameras).

 

Did ALOT of miles on the N2. Mostly a single carriage way trunk road with speed limit of 120 KM/H except in towns and the odd 100 and 80.  

 

They have a 'yellow lane' for emergencies and for slower cars to move into to allow overtaking.  Roads are empty.  and smooth.  and safe. (ish)

[Pete-M]

my brothers just come back from le mans.

he camped.

all he did was fuckin moan about the cost of beer,and coming home a day early as he car shared and his mate wanted to go home,so next year he is renting an a class.its gotta be the only way to do it.

now back on topic,sort tyres and spare,check jack,brace,locking nut,give it an oil and filter change,you may be suprised how much smoother it is.then coolant,screenwash,euros ENJOY

40 bottles of Kronenberg from Carrefour is 11€. If he didn't bother going to the supermarket it was his choice to pay the 6€ for a pint

[mat_the_cat]

 

Rouen is somewhere I try and stay well clear of now, for example, after having several experiences of getting it wrong there.

 

I've had several similar experiences there too (as has everybody...), but now have a decent way through which seems to work! After you've gone through through the tunnel on the A28, before you cross the river take the D6015 and follow the east bank of the Seine. You can't really go wrong unless you drive into the river! Head through Pont de l'Arche (not a bad town to stop and explore) and pick up the A13 or N154 afterwards.

 

I had a minor breakdown in the BX in 2006, with a failing alternator. I pulled into a Citroen dealer at 6pm on the Friday, and without any French managed to explain the problem and they changed it the next morning. Seemingly taking pity on me they waived the 100 Euro labour charge on the bill

[stripped fred]

Got my new tyres fitted today. It's at a part worn/car wash place run by friendly Poles who proudly tell you they work every day of the year apart from Christmas day. They now charge £12.50 rather than £10 each wheel but still not bad with the tyres £85 from tyreleader. He pointed out that my handbrake isn't working on one rear wheel and found a bunjee attached to the front spring which I must have left there when I used it to suspend the caliper last weekend when changing the brakes.

 

I also managed to wiggle the droplinks while it was on the jacks. The front o/s is definitely loose so that will be my clonking noise. Will have a go at changing them this weekend.

 

I went to London and back today which is about 250 miles and not a murmur so that bodes well.

[flat4alfa]

Not been over t'continent for 10 years now

 

Taking the 2003 leggy Multipla over next month. Brittany, right far over there in Asterix country.

 

Just done clutch and cambelt and tyres and other spend so should be ok.  Got a RAC card anyhow.

 

I'm more worried about being pounced by les immigrants and being mugged at knifepoint for my British numberplates.  *Apparently it's becoming all to common.

 

 

*media sources

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4639690/Couple-robbed-migrants-trying-Britain.html

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/821023/migrants-calais-dover-border-control-immigration-robbery

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3877355/brit-couple-targeted-by-gang-of-migrants-in-france-who-wanted-to-steal-cars-reg-to-help-get-them-into-the-uk/

[flat4alfa]

You must encounter grenadisation proper before you abandon heap. And how often has that happened to you?

 

Twice.  Both Renaults.

[Frogchod]

Having just got back from a trip, it makes you realise how shit our roads are compared to much of mainland Europe. Coming home on the M20 felt like being on a farm track in comparison.

 

This.

I've just got back from a trip to England. Driving out of Newhaven I had to check the sat nag to make sure the boat hadn't accidentally docked in Morocco. 

That and four fucking hours to get to Newbury, contrasted to Dieppe to deepest darkest Normandie in three hours including fuel and grub stops...... In a DW8 powered van.

[Junkman]

The French motorway police can seize your car if they catch you speeding excessively. It's not something I'd want to risk anymore.

 

If you own a car that enables you to speed excessively without grenading in a hilariously spectacular fashion

within a quarter mile of doing so, you shoud flog it instantly and upgrade* to some proper Autoshite.

[Inspector Morose]

Speeding was not a problem the last time I visited the Alps.

 

[Junkman]

Why did you photoshop those French chalets into a pic of the White Cliffs of Dover?

[tapir]

off to France for a 3rd year in a row this year, 1000+ miles, lovely so looking forward to it. I love driving in France, so much more relaxing than here.

I always check over the car and get it serviced a couple of weeks before, always get breakdown cover too.

 

^ @matt_the_cat - thanks for Rouen tip, will be back through there again this year. was a little bit of a nightmare 3 years ago...

 

Also remember the headlight stickers, spare bulbs and reflective jacket in the car (not the boot). 

[dieselnutjob]

Isn't the whole point of the EU to have common rules and freedom of movement?

 

With all of these different emissions zones with different rules how the hell does that work for visitors from another country.

 

How on earth am I supposed to know what the rules are in each city that I'm driving through on my way to my holiday destination, and how is a Frenchy with his camper van supposed to know about London LEZ zone (which has a number of campsites inside it)?

 

As the whole emissions zone thing is obviously contradictory to the fundamental principles of the EU why haven't they fixed this?

 

I think that if your car is legal where you live then you should be allowed to drive it anywhere you like throughout the whole EU.  Basically you should be exempt from all emissions zones except those in your own country.

[Junkman]

Isn't the whole point of the EU to have common rules and freedom of movement?

 

No, it's redistrubuting income from the masses to the super rich under German leadership.

[chaseracer]

Twice.  Both Renaults.

 

This reminds me of an excellent article I read many moons ago on this very subject of Continent-bothering with extreme rammel.  Due to advancing age, the only part I can recall with certainty is "...and we once abandoned a Renault 6 in the Ardeche."