Renault Laguna, Y reg. But why, Reg?

[overrun]

Love glove? (Loads of replies, since mine...)

[Craig the Princess]

Yeah that's what I'm thinking now, left in the sump when it was fitted at the factory! But would the engine have survived this long?

Possibly from a rebuild/repairs after leaving the factory?

[scaryoldcortina]

Love glove? (Loads of replies, since mine...)

 

I did worry about that but thankfully no. I think probably it was a parts bag, what seemed to be a rolled cuff could well have been the remains of the sealed end instead.

[Bren]

I hope an immigrant did'nt decide to spend the night under the bonnet.....

[Lankytim]

Sanitary towel?

[SiC]

Do you still reckon the oil change is what triggered it?

 

Maybe you did a far better job emptying it (previously drained through the dipstick?) than any other mechanic before and what ever it was moved from where it was wedged?

[scaryoldcortina]

I don't like coincidences, so yes I still think the oil change had something to do with it. I also wonder if the plastic bag had anything to do with the oil warnings and pressure switch change, which is what prompted me to change the oil....

[Slartibartfast]

Is this a life lesson? If you don't know the car and you're about to change the oil, take the sump off and make sure there aren't any plastic bags in it? Or do you think it was somewhere else in the engine?

[scaryoldcortina]

I've found blocked pickups after engine death before, but it's rare enough an occurance for it to be not worth opening every engine up to check for. I have no idea where the bag came from either. I do know the car did over 100k miles before suffocating on a plastic bag.

 

Hang on....

 

I think owing one of these is the automotive equivalent of auto erotic asphyxiation.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I've been looking everywhere for that placca bag, thank goodness its been found

[SiC]

I do know the car did over 100k miles before suffocating on a plastic bag.

Doesn't it have the wrong clocks anyway?

 

Maybe its had a "rebuilt" engine in the past, and the person rebuilding left it in there...

 

Does the old engine have a VIN stamped on it?

[Jim Bell]

They sew up people with pairs of scissors inside them, why not rebuild an engine with a femidom inside it?

 

You got off lightly if you ask me.

[scaryoldcortina]

Breaking news....

 

It broke again! After literally days of trouble free motoring I stopped this morning at Morrisons and put £20 worth of petrol in.

 

 

Deja-vu time. Card in, lights heater and stereo all come on as normal.

Press button, nothing happens.

Remove and reinsert card try again. Nothing.

Wiggle card while trying to start. Nothing.

Consider fire. No Matches.

 

Bang head on steering wheel. Get out and open bonnet.

 

FUCK ME IT'S WINDY!!!! Catch bonnet, watch plastic engine cover blow away across forecourt.

 

Shut bonnet, enlist help from growing queue of people wanting to use the pump to bumpstart car.

 

Drive back to work, leave it running. Grr, bah etc. Get it into the garage and out of this bastard wind.

 

Find nothing wrong. Stop engine. Start engine. It started. FUXAKE CAR!

 

Come home for lunch.

 

What are the odds on it starting in half an hour's time when I need to go back to work?

[fatharris]

Slim to none.

 

This car really IS French, eh?

[scaryoldcortina]

Well, it started just now but stuttered quite a lot and I can hear a relay clicking like mad behind the dash. I'm guessing starter relay, off to deal with that now (if it starts!)

[SiC]

LOL

 

It's totally is trolling you.

 

Did you replace the card reader?

[Danblez]

Nowhere on the internet gives such insight into the everday life of shit Renaults!

 

I applaud you and Ronald McBollox.

[Sigmund Fraud]

It sounds a bit like the time my old Megane (Phase I) failed to proceed. I turned the key and everything worked fine apart from the starter !

 

I ended up dismantling the fusebox, then the steering wheel cowl, then half the dashboard (to get to the immobiliser). I didn't find any problems, so I thought of checking the starter solenoid connector. I cleaned 20 years' worth of oily grime off it with some carb spray, pushed it back into place, and the car started at the first turn of the key !

[R9UKE]

I think Laguna IIs are quite like rescue puppies.  Bear with me on this....

 

You pick up a pup that's had a rough life and/or been abused and you have issues to deal with - nervous shits, aversion to the outdoors, socially inept, etc etc.  A Laguna II that's been in the hands of somebody who doesn't understand the essential smooth insertion of the key card (oy-oy!), or that you don't use the electric windows unnecessarily or even that it appreciates an admiring glance back as you walk away at what a fine piece of French design it is.... will no doubt display exactly the same bitterness and determined-to-shit-on-human-life as that dog that's learnt that man is NOT nice.

 

Whereas a dog that's had a great life with an owner that's supported it through all of it's quirks is a totally different animal!

 

I've had rescue-pup Laguna IIs and I've had silver-spoon Laguna IIs and the verdict is that a rescue Laguna II is not just for Christmas, it's for 3 days of gin-soaked hope followed by regret and a sledge hammer. 

 

.....and a chuffing good Autoshite thread!!

[stripped fred]

I reckon you'd have more chance of building your own spaceship and flying it to the moon than getting one of these feckers to run right.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Sadly, I have to agree that these things are just fucking useless. I really liked my Dci Sport Tourer* but it's just one of those cars that will ALWAYS go wrong and be a waste of garage space. A pity because they drive so well and the Estate is a very good looking car. But still complete junk.

[scaryoldcortina]

LOL

 

It's totally is trolling you.

 

Did you replace the card reader?

Yes, two months ago on page 4.

 

Photobucket is being all renault, so I can't show you the pics of the fusebox, or the lack of access to it or the pieces of dash you have to remove to get at it.

It doesn't matter anyway because it wasn't the relay. It started at home then obligingly stopped at work so I could test stuff, nothing fixed it and just as I was about to go home in something else it started, so I went to ASDA.

 

It didn't start again at asda, then it did. Then I noticed something...

 

 

Is there a neutral detecting start inhibit switch? It certainly doesn't care if the clutch is up or down but waggle the gearlever and it works.

[anonymous user]

 

Is there a neutral detecting start inhibit switch? It certainly doesn't care if the clutch is up or down but waggle the gearlever and it works.

Probably that is incidental, you may find the odd Latin incantation or patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time has similar effects. It's French and therefore likes a nice long lunch, also it probably wants to clock of early on a Friday.

 

More logically is there any part of the loom near the gearstick that is getting tugged when you waggle the stick

[loserone]

Is there a neutral detecting start inhibit switch? It certainly doesn't care if the clutch is up or down but waggle the gearlever and it works.

 

Internet says yes.  Seems like such a good idea!

 

Edit: and that means the switch for the clutch is broken too, right?

[anonymous user]

I've just realised, waggling the gearstick is probably the automotive equivalent of a gallic shrug

[scaryoldcortina]

Internet says yes.  Seems like such a good idea!

 

Edit: and that means the switch for the clutch is broken too, right?

I guess so. I'd bet they are linked because they both worked when it refused to go after the engine change!

[Parky]

These cars really are comic gold aren't they?

[SiC]

On the manual Scenic there definitely a inhibit switch, not near a computer atm so can't check for the Laguna. I think pushing the brake pedal should allow the start routine to happen too. At least on the manual Scenic it did - but it might have also warned you to select neutral first if in gear.

 

The UCH is where I believe the clutch switch and neutral switch will be and where start logic is. So if you have a scantool that can do live reading on the uch, you should see. (Live sensors view is the next feature I'm getting in my app atm...)

 

Edit: I was a bit slow!

[scaryoldcortina]

Yeah, the solus can read the uch. I'll dig into it if it continues to have trouble after eliminating physical problems like the switch, which is on the gearbox.

 

PS, I still can't get your app to talk to my bluetooth dongle! I'll have to take a laptop and pull some logs with ADB because it works with most other apps and connects fine to a computer. (checks for "Fabrique en Francais" on the adapter)

[SiC]

On the UCH its on connector P100, pin number 26 for clutch signal (switches to ground) and pin number 7 for manual netural switch (switches to VBatt). Pin 11 is the ok to start light - I guess the button should light up if start conditions are go. Might be worth remembering there is a ok light as something else to check if it plays up again.

 

Curiously its listed as a netural and reserve switch, but only 2 terminal - one is connected to VBatt. Not sure, but I think it shorts to VBatt on netural, shorts to ground on reserve - so I guess open circuit when in a gear? The data I have isn't terribly clear on it. If so, then if its disconnected, in theory you won't have reverse lights either.

 

Really not sure why the app isn't working for you. Any ADB logs on the connection sequence would be great!