Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[rml2345]

The spheres used on Citroën hydropneumatic suspension are actually a rare type of onion.

[Noel Tidybeard]

citreon are making fewer hydropneumatic cars as there is a world shortage of Vulcans willing to give blood which is then refined into LHM

[fred]

The Austin  Gypsy was quickly redesigned and called the Morris Traveller due to PC concerns over ''Gypsy''

[vulgalour]

That particular flatulent tone that Morris Minor exhausts are well known for was the result of a post-war government beneficiary act to help support war veterans and widows who had a shortage of cash and a surfeit of wind.  To this day, there are still donors providing the very particular tonal vibration which is sealed into all new Morris Minor silencers.  What Morris Minors will sound like when the last of the war veterans and widows of World War Two expire is anybody's guess.

[vulgalour]

Which reminds me;  after World War: The Sequel there were vast quantities of air raid sirens littered around the country.  BMC at this time were looking for anyway to repurpose good old machinery and found that, with some modification, the differentials in their new cars could be made using these crude but effective devices.  A new axle had to be developed in 1958 when a reliable source of the sirens could no longer be found (eBay hadn't been invented yet) and this was entirely conventional with the exception that it was fitted with a modified brass kazoo that would resonate correctly at particular rpm ranges.

 

Here we see a young Issigonis testing out a prototype.

 

Without the sound-absorbing BMC bodyshell, the volume of these early devices was considered to be "slightly unbearable".

[John F]

^ we've got one of them wired up as a burglar alarm at our unit

[twosmoke300]

I've got a modern version called a master blaster 137db ! You can't think straight in the shed when it's going off

[Pillock]

A early-2000s remake of Back to the Future using a TVR Tuscan had to be shelved, after writer Robert Zemeckis was unable to come up with a convincing storyline where the car would reliably make it to 88mph in order to leap through time.

 

Zemeckis is quoted as saying "So, yeah. We could make the audience believe all that stuff about quantum theory and jumping through time. That's a piece of piss. Most people already think a Flux Capacitor is a real thing anyway. But when we sent out the script to critics, they all said that the bit where the Tuscan accelerated quickly to 88mph was a leap too far, as there was no mention of the engine overheating, or the gear lever coming off in Marty's hand"

[Parky]

Due to budget problems, the Lambo Miura featured in the opening of the 1969 version of 'The Italian Job' was in fact a 1969 Austin Maxi 1500. A young Bernie and Leepu were responsible for the realistic re-design of the bodywork, using a hefty 124kg of Plastic Padding to disguise the sexy lines of the Maxi.

 

It was also a prototype diesel version which was converted back into a Maxi. Post crash the genuine Mafia retrieved the wreckage from the hillside and front of the bulldozer and sent them back to BMC with the head of a Horsey Horseless.

 

The prototype languished around Longbridge for years before being bought by Old_Farts dad

[Tamworthbay]

The diesel maxi was designed by mistake after a misunderstanding in the R&D shed at Longbridge, after a comment about what a load of crap it looked like, Fred, the chief designer and part time tea boy, looked at a few sketches sent in by Harry Jones, aged 6 of Hinckley and proclaimed "these will do!", unfortunately the second in command had forgot to install new batteries in his NHS issue hearing aids and heard "diesel do!". Not wanting to upset the boss again, and risk today's tea ration, he set wheels in motion and the rest is history.

[Felly Magic]

During the early 1970s, BLMC were getting worried about competition for their MGB, that in their quest to make it sportier, came up with the idea of nailing the back end of a J4 van onto the chassis, and shoved on a crude pig snout, surprisingly, this new van version was faster, and handled better than the current roadster/coupe. Postman Pat was overjoyed, and to make it even faster, they fitted the new diesel engine from the prototype Maxi diesel, which ensured that all Posties could drive like proper 'James Hunts'.

[Parky]

The Germans, being well known for efficiency and rules struggled with the "make it all up as you go" nature of Jazz music. As a result, the Germans called Jazz music Schrager Musik with literally means slanting music, hence the existence of the Honda Schragermusik in German cities.

 

On a similar note (ha ha, little pun there, never mind), Allegro is believed to mean light and rapid in Italian whereas it really means "not quite as good as the composer thought it would turn out"

[rml2345]

Allegro is in fact a contraction of "All Lego Roadster" and originally intended to be a modular lightweight replacement for both the MGB and Triumph Spitfire.

How it became a foxy automotive potato still baffles experts today.

[DavidB]

When the MGF launched, Rover decided a marketing stunt was in order to generate extra publicity for the new little convertible - how many miles the car could travel on a single tank.

The car managed 5 miles just into Birmingham city centre before the reservoir tank expelled the last of its coolant into a steaming, gurgling mess of molten mayonnaise.

"A success!" exclaimed Rover CEO Brian Gasket to gathering reporters, before undertaking the 10 mile trek to the Esso for two 5l bottles of Highland Spring.

[John F]

The Germans, being well known for efficiency and rules struggled with the "make it all up as you go" nature of Jazz music. As a result, the Germans called Jazz music Schrager Musik with literally means slanting music, hence the existence of the Honda Schragermusik in German cities.

 

On a similar note (ha ha, little pun there, never mind), Allegro is believed to mean light and rapid in Italian whereas it really means "not quite as good as the composer thought it would turn out"

 

Small correction... it's spelt "schräge Musik" and is a rather dated term ("Jazz" tends to be used nowadays)... just like the Honda Schrägemusik's target audience, in fact

[Pillock]

A car's tax band in the 1970s was based upon how many speeds the heater blower has, hence the limit of 3. More than was thought to be decadent and would be taxed heavily.

 

Although this rule was changed in 1984, VAG missed the memo and continued to use a software defeat system that knobbled all but the top speed after 6 months of ownership, guaranteeing the lowest tax band.

[Urko]

The Austin  Gypsy was quickly redesigned and called the Morris Traveller due to PC concerns over ''Gypsy''

 They had similar issues trying to sell it in France as the Austin Gitane.

[John F]

In a move to stay ahead of the curve with driver assistance systems, Mercedes recently announced a system that automated and accelerated the entire ownership of a vehicle from the decision to purchase right through to sale of the vehicle, effectively eliminating costly production, servicing and repairs as well as reducing the CO2 footprint to almost zero.

 

As such, instead of going through the hassle of actually taking delivery of their vehicle, operating it and then having to sell it, owners are simply presented with a bill for the depreciation of their 'virtual' vehicle.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Most people think that the Dukes of Hazard film starring 'Jessica Simpson' was legit.

However, clever use of CGI enabled the filmmakers to employ Maureen from driving school as the bargain price, sexy lead (CGI'd into Simpson) and an orange Daewoo Lanos as a Dodge Charger. A translator was used to change Maureen's voice into 'Murican.

 

 

[Noel Tidybeard]

the idea for the dukes of hazzard was a pair of lads called Barry & Terry from Longbridge Deverill with a marina coop

the doors weren't welded shut just broken handles rendering the doors fixed

[fred]

The Mini ,and Maxi where basically Tampons - But car makers caught on, and with car designers  made the Automotive versions - BMW rather fecked up the original idea mind....By making a huge Tampon and calling it a Bini 

[Pillock]

American engines produce so little power since, as well as mucking around with the size of a gallon, they also redefined the size of a V.

 

At only 0.59 the size of a UK V, it means that a Yank V8 is approximately the same power as a UK V5, and their V12s are the same output as our V9s.

 

If we were mental enough to build a V9.

[Pillock]

After a production error at the Happy Monkey Delightful Badge and Firework Supplies Co Ltd factory, Rover were one supplied with 150,000 V9 badges in place of V8.

 

To resolve the brief 14-month long industrial action over the extra work required to sort and return the faulty badges, Rover bosses asked for a V9 engine to be costed up, and several prototypes exist. However they were lost after being accidentally supplied to dealers as exchange engines with one bore filled with Trebor Strong Mints.

[martc]

Extra Strong Mints are required if you have the V13 version.

[vulgalour]

Humber fitted their own version in the Imperial.

[martc]

Humber fitted their own version in the Imperial.

 

And lets not forget the Polo - older ones develop holes in order to match thier namesake.

[LC Torana]

Although the heads are radically different, the blocks of the Austin Sheerline motor and the Alvis are interchangeable, except for the timing case.

[rml2345]

And lets not forget the Polo - older ones develop holes in order to match there namesake.

That was due to a trades description act mess up. For a time Polo mints carried a 5 year corrosion guarantee and required main dealer servicing to protect the warranty.

[sierraman]

The Rover 75 is basically a hand made BMW 3 series. Exactly the same underneath. The head gasket only used to go on the 1.8 because the then Labour Government used to vandalise the production line making the engines at Oxford, due to an EU diktat to avoid it competing with the 3 series. They only ended up going bust due to problems with the toilets at Longbridge that caused a confusion in the accounts department causing financial irregularities. If they had survived people would have found out they were about to bring back making the SD1 and call it the Rover Deboniar.

[Parky]

The new Fiat 500 was originally conceived when the Marketing director of Bodyform Italia made a 1:1 model of the original 500 out of tampons as part of a TV campaign. After being retrieved from the infamous topless swimming pool scene, Sergio Berlesconi called Giovanni Agnelli at Fiat and suggested he pops down with a camera.....

 

We aren't sure if he meant to get pics of the car or the girls but my Uncle knew Ivan Capelli's dentists cousin who swears it's true....