Motorway survival tactics

[jakebullet]

If you break it, dump it on the hard shoulder, get out and get the hell away up the banking. Hazard lights aren't guaranteed against sleepy truckers.

[brickwall]

Being in the slow lane gives you an escape route down the hard shoulder if things go bad.  My old school friend who became an AA patrol man saved himself once by heading for the embankment when he could see that a truck behind him wasn't going to stop.

 

It also puts you further from a truck coming the other way that manages to break through the central reservation and more time to react to it.

 

 

I always figured that. Better drive up\down the embankment that get squished.

[gordonbennet]

Some good posts here, i can't add much more.

 

The thing about our roads is that they simply weren't designed to cope with the number of people now living here, and that's going to rise continually so the gridlock, frustration and general mayhem that we're seeing is only going to get worse, plus driving standards are being constantly dumbed down, including lorries, which are far too bloody easy to drive so idiots who wouldn't have got the old motors out of the yard in the first place are now travelling the roads..

 

There's more lorries because there's more mouths to feed and service, end of, you can pontificate all you want like those tosser politicians responsible for the quart in a pint pot situation we now have, but it's fact.

 

As this thread is about survival, the only advice is that in an accident between a 30cwt car (fuck that foreign kg shit) and a 44 ton lorry with a chassis made of girders (and no crumple zone of any description)  there is only going to be one winner, it matter not one jot who's in the right...the priest isn't going to say you were driving correctly when he gives the eulogy at your funeral, no three Hail Mary's and you'll rise from the dead.

 

Don't play with the lorries, don't for Christs sake brake test them like the brain dead morons do.

 

Now the salts on the damp cold roads grip has drastically reduced, what maybe 25% as much grip as when dry?..once a jack knife or folding up or tail wagging the dog has started its all over, the lorry could end up anywhere, just like the scenes on the M25 yesterday early hours.

[oman5]

!

I'm not sure about constant speed, If I'm heading down the motorway at 70 and I catch up with someone doing 68 then I'll accelerate up to 75-80 to overtake them quicker.  It means that I'm clogging up the outside lane for less time and if the slower vehicle that I'm overtaking needs to pull out too then they aren't waiting as long.

Thats not really what I meant, its not always possible to say., set the cruise to 70 and leave it there for the whole journey. my gripe is the 75mph. down to 60, up to 65,58,80. and so on that some people do. It forces an overtake,then a mile later the same car is coming past you. then you catch them up again when they slow down. Im not going to start an argument about which particular group of people seem to do this the most!

[richardmorris]

!

 

Thats not really what I meant, its not always possible to say., set the cruise to 70 and leave it there for the whole journey. my gripe is the 75mph. down to 60, up to 65,58,80. and so on that some people do. It forces an overtake,then a mile later the same car is coming past you. then you catch them up again when they slow down. Im not going to start an argument about which particular group of people seem to do this the most!

In my experience people doing this are often on the phone. It's a real pain. You overtake someone dawdling along at 65, the the next minute they blast past at warp 9.

[John F]

oman5, on 10 Dec 2014 - 6:22 PM, said:

 Im not going to start an argument about which particular group of people seem to do this the most!

 

Oh, go on... is it the Greeks?

 

[Fat_Pirate]

I had toast and chocolate biscuits for dinner.  What's that got to do with this thread?  Being too lazy to do a proper job, that's what.  All those idiotic things you see people doing on motorways is because they can't be arsed to do any better.  Those who might benefit from the advice in this thread are not interested.

 

By the same token, I like to think there's a cooking-enthusiast forum somewhere, where folks are all "FFS WHY DON'T FAT BLOKES JUST COOK THEMSELVES AN OMLETTE?!?!", and somebody is replying that such people are too busy eating biscuits and maintaining a sensible braking distance on motorways.

[MarvinsMom]

Oh, go on... is it the Greeks?

 

I hear you're a racist now Father? Should we all be racist now?

[oman5]

Oh, go on... is it the Greeks?

 

Why? Do YOU think it is?

[brickwall]

I'm more of an A and B road type person, anyway.

[Alan_Green]

• My main motorway survival tactic is....wait for it....Blackpool!  

Let me explain. I drive from Hampshire to Argyll (Glasgow + 1 Hr) quite a lot and no matter what time I set off I would always hit jams along the way so would arrive exhausted and stressed out.

Then I realised Blackpool is halfway and is full of dirt cheap accommodation.

So, now I set off on clear roads around 7pm...zoom past Birmingham....arrive in Blackpool in time for a couple of pints ...bed...shower...breakfast buffet...drive out on empty roads....and by the time I hit population (Glasgow) the roads are clear.

Much safer to properly break your journey like that and you don't lose a working day.

I just had a look on booking.com and you can get a room with breakfast tonight for £13. Just ridiculous.

In fact you should hold AS meets there. Halfway up the country. Lots of entertainment. Cheap accom. Line the cars up along the seafront for pics. (Just thought of this while typing). 

[beko1987]

From doing j6 to 4 of the m40 twice a day:

 

Stay behind the lorries. The amount of times I've coasted past l2 and 3 doing 58mph behind all the lorries is stupid

 

When joining, stay in 4th for just a second whilst you look at what's already on the road. That way, you have power in reserve to boot it up a bit faster, or ease off and slow to slip in behind something

 

(On the uphill section in the cut before j5) flash the lorry out who would otherwise have to drop 4 or 5 gears as something really slows in front, he will be thankful, and give you good karma.

 

Laugh when the person who flashed you ou t of l2 after an overtake is sitting in front of you at the next junction after not getting very far...

[Barry Cade]

If you break it, dump it on the hard shoulder, get out and get the hell away up the banking. Hazard lights aren't guaranteed against sleepy truckers.

Ok if you can- even beacons, reflective tape, high viz clothing and hazards don't stop trucks from whizzing by with a foot to spare. I don't have a foot to spare so had to be ready for a long jump into the weeds at a milliseconds notice. It was said earlier that truckers have a far higher position so can see much further down the road.. then why don't you move over and give the breakdown lads some room- when you are lying under a broken down motor in the dark and pissing rain and hear that familiar rumble of an 18 wheelers tyres on the white lines...

 

Many thanks to each and every one of you who "buzzed" me on the M90 and A92. Also to the guy in a silver Mk5 Escort who gave me a 70MPH skelp on the arse from his wing mirror..

[Matt]

why don't you move over and give the breakdown lads some room- when you are lying under a broken down motor in the dark and pissing rain and hear that familiar rumble of an 18 wheelers tyres on the white lines...

 

This where some of the states in the USA have sensible rules; if a cop is on the shoulder in some states you must pull into the second lane or you get a ticket.

[Luckythirteen]

Do watch for the big fleets (esp Royal Mail) who are staffed with farmers and builders through agencies. Some of these guys only drive artics 6 weeks of the year. Some are good, but others are positively dangerous.

Given that the farms are quiet, and Pa_Thirteen and his mate are sharing the driving in his mate's shit truck right now...I would actually concur. They (and another guy who's doing some runs) are pretty damn good. Pa used to do long distance for Curries when I was wee, you see. But I can think of a few who shouldn't be let near a Barbie car, far less one of those.

Having gone shotgun in some trucks (and had a quick spin round a very big yard in the driving seat), I can only echo what the truck drivers have said. It's how I do it myself: leave room and just don't get in the way. In my car, the economy doesn't seem to be any different between 50, 60 and 70, so I don't see that being an excuse for plodding along in the inside lane.

The one truly frightening thing I saw from the passenger seat, which hasn't been mentioned, was the car driver who overtook us, and then cut in very late to a sliproad. Only to find that another car had accelerated into the sliproad up the inside. Damn that was close! The lesson being (I think), that you can't see what's coming down the inside of a truck clearly enough to take that risk. They take up a lot of space in your vision, so hang back and have a look around.

[Pete-M]

I do lots of motorway miles and one thing that does irritate is those folk who wander over into L3 to pass a couple of elephant racing trucks but then sit in L3 at 66-67 mph even though L2 is clear and they're quickly creating a large queue in L3. Motorway is clear in front of them and they'll sit there at an indicated 70 instead of moving over.

 

If I'm first in the queue behind one of these thundering dunderheads I'll give a bit of time for them to realise I'm there then when the chance comes I'll move into L2 and let the Audi Autobahn Aggresor Korps do their stuff in L3.

 

When a 500 mile mainly motorway day is normal it's often very easy to spot folk who don't do many motorway miles: they're normally in the wrong lane at the wrong speed and the brake lights keep coming on.

 

It's like today. I'm driving from Liverpool to Wiltshire. That's the beginning of the M62 to J11a of the M5 all on motorways. 3 and a bit hours one way. If it's a good day I'll be able to rivet the cruise control for half the journey. If it's a bad one it'll take me an hour to get to Warrington and often all the delays will be down to someone clueless driving too close to the car in front and dabbing the brakes all the bloody time. That triggers other people to brake which a mile down the road brings the entire motorway to a halt - for no real reason.

 

Of course, the muppets who cause most of the chaos don't actually see the chaos because it's all behind them.

[Micrashed]

 

 

• In fact you should hold AS meets there. Halfway up the country. Lots of entertainment. Cheap accom. Line the cars up along the seafront for pics. (Just thought of this while typing). 

 

THIS.

In fact I can show you where the main knocking shops are too (straight and gay) if you are that way inclined for a weekends fun away from the other half.

 

I realise that sounds wrong but I know the 'pool very well and know its seedier underbelly as well as the touristy bits.

[chaseracer]

Sounds very AS.  Let's do it.

[UmBongo]

Always obey the two second rule and be wary of all high-sided vehicles.

 

Give them respek, innit.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Every so often, check the functioning of the lights on your vehicle. The last thing I nearly crashed into was a Polish-registered lorry doing about 25mph on the A46, in the dark, with no working taillights. If I'd hit, it'd have been my fault, but it really doesn't help matters to have more blown bulbs than working ones.

 

Not just working but actually switched on! This morning at about 04.30 I was at Warp Factor 1.2 between J15 and J14 on the M1, when (ironically) a Parcelforce wagon started indicating to go from L1 to 2. I backed off a bit and moved to L3, then realised he wasn't changing lanes, but warning me about the cunt in a black Jag XF sitting in L2 pottering along at about 70 with no lights- in an unlit section! When I passed I saw at the front he just had his twinkly Christmas lights on. So thanks to the farmer or whatever, I probably wouldn't have hit the Jag,but I'm sure not seeing it for another split second would have tightened my sphincter muscles a tad.

[Slappy]

For a graphic illustration of what LuckyThirteen said, there was a video floating around Facebook and Youtube a couple of months back of a young Belgian driver doing a late cut-across to an off-slip only to find the exit full of HGV. They were very very lucky going by the resulting mess to even be alive today.

 

This applies more to dual carriageway more than Motorways I guess, but why does everyone "have" to stay in the outside lane? Or rather, what should the maximum distance at 70 for instance be between vehicles on the inside, before you're hogging rather than overtaking?

 

I believe Plod mentioned a crackdown on tailgating and hogging, under care and attention criteria, but I've not heard of anyone being prosecuted for it, anyone else?

[Cavcraft]

I still can't find the rule in the Highway Code that tells the same people every bleeding day to veer across from the right hand (of two) lane(s) straight onto the M56 slip from the M53.

 

That's where tailgating wagons (at a safe enough distance) could be fun as you make these tits carry on to the next junction and have to go back round.

[Caffiend]

If everyone 'read the road' more effectively - or, in too many cases "in any way whatsoever at all" then driving would be a more pleasant experience for the vast majority of people. I doubt whether the excessive-sense-of-entitlement ****s who drive aggressively are actually really enjoying the experience, they must be so tense and angry all the time.

 

I'd have to go with two second rule and always knowing your 'escape route'. The vast majority of drivers don't seem to have any awareness of what's around them. I found this rather interesting - selective attention test: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo.

 

I once had an artic tailgate me, hooting and flashing its lights. A453 with 40 mph average speed cameras, I was doing about 35 mph because that was what the car in front was doing - no way of overtaking, it's single carriageway and a busy road. Obviously the lorry either hadn't noticed this or thought I should be "encouraging" the car in front to go faster by tailgating it rather than sitting back and being able to adjust my speed as needed with the accelerator rather than constantly dabbing the brakes. It was terrifying - and in fact this did end up being the one and only time I've ever actually yelled at another driver - slowed down to 15 mph so I could reasonably safely open my window and shout at him to fucking back off before going back to my previous speed. 10 minutes later we joined the end of the queue for the M1. Read the fucking road .Of course the bloody truck was unmarked so I'd no way of complaining to whatever company was involved.

[Cavcraft]

If everyone read the road properly and used lane discipline, you'd find you could maintain a single speed for long journeys, use less fuel and be much less stressed out and less tired too.

[Andrew353w]

Some good posts here, i can't add much more.

 

As this thread is about survival, the only advice is that in an accident between a 30cwt car (fuck that foreign kg shit) and a 44 ton lorry with a chassis made of girders (and no crumple zone of any description)  there is only going to be one winner, it matter not one jot who's in the right...the priest isn't going to say you were driving correctly when he gives the eulogy at your funeral, no three Hail Mary's and you'll rise from the dead.

 

Don't play with the lorries, don't for Christs sake brake test them like the brain dead morons do.

 

Now the salts on the damp cold roads grip has drastically reduced, what maybe 25% as much grip as when dry?..once a jack knife or folding up or tail wagging the dog has started its all over, the lorry could end up anywhere, just like the scenes on the M25 yesterday early hours.

I totally concur! I was taught to drive in the days when one had to know how to make hand signals (stop sniggering at the back!) One particular phrase of my instructor's will remain with me for ever:

"Always give way to any vehicle that has priority.... Or is bigger than you!" said the instructor.

"Why?" Said I, the pupil.

"Because it's all very well being in the right when you're laid out on the mortuary slab!" said he....

[cms206]

My top tip? Try to join motorways at, or as near as dammit to, the speed limit. In the last few weeks I've twice had someone come round a sweeping, climbing sliproad onto a motorway with no hard shoulder (M8 at Arkleston westbound) at under 30mph, try to merge and find that traffic is doing 60-70mph. So they stop at the dotted white line and wait for a gap.

 

It's not going to happen in a car, so what chance do I have behind you in an asthmatic F-reg Volvo coach with 57 kids on board?

 

Same happens at the M8 Glasgow Airport Eastbound, I try to join in the car at 55-60 on what is a fairly short, steep sliproad but you still get fucking idiots who'll crawl up at 30mph and try to join a 60 with no hard shoulder.

 

 

Last week in light rain I sat in the inside lane between Glasgow Airport and Tradeston at 7.45pm going to get SWMBO from work at 70 and without moving out of lane one passed nearly twenty cars doing 50-60mph in lanes 2 and 3. I'll happily use lane 1 is no fucker else will.

[bub2006]

Reading some of these stories here as made me think of when I used to go to ex mrs parents house in Preston. Coming along I think is the a52 on the 50mph stretch near stoke. I was in the outside lane doing an indicated 70 on the clock. Black merc up my arse as I was overtaking a few wagons. Merc try's to undertake me causing a wagon to brake hard. He then realises he has dived into a gap but didn't see the builders flatbed iveco as he ploughs into the arse of it at a guess of 80 mph+. I did stop but not alot that could be done. Not a lot left of the Mercedes,scaffold pole on back of truck had gone through the car. The truck driver was very shook up. Don't know what happened to the Mercedes driver as the coppers shifted everyone along after taking statements from me,truck driver and the artic driver who had to brake hard. I can hazard a guess at the fact he didn't come off too well out of it.

[John F]

oman5, on 10 Dec 2014 - 7:25 PM, said:

Why? Do YOU think it is?

 

I couldn't possibly comment

 

Where is Luxo nowadays, anyway?

[Chas4545]

I am, of course, a superb driver, faultless in fact, as we all are here.

 

The comments from HGV drivers have made me think about how I manoevre near them. I will do better.

I worry about drivers with no imagination. They should drive with no seat belt on and a spike on the steering wheel .

Hands up all those who have lost a relative or someone close on the road.

[overrun]

Given that the farms are quiet, and Pa_Thirteen and his mate are sharing the driving in his mate's shit truck right now...I would actually concur. They (and another guy who's doing some runs) are pretty damn good. Pa used to do long distance for Curries when I was wee, you see. But I can think of a few who shouldn't be let near a Barbie car, far less one of those.

Having gone shotgun in some trucks (and had a quick spin round a very big yard in the driving seat), I can only echo what the truck drivers have said. It's how I do it myself: leave room and just don't get in the way. In my car, the economy doesn't seem to be any different between 50, 60 and 70, so I don't see that being an excuse for plodding along in the inside lane.

The one truly frightening thing I saw from the passenger seat, which hasn't been mentioned, was the car driver who overtook us, and then cut in very late to a sliproad. Only to find that another car had accelerated into the sliproad up the inside. Damn that was close! The lesson being (I think), that you can't see what's coming down the inside of a truck clearly enough to take that risk. They take up a lot of space in your vision, so hang back and have a look around.

Similar kinda thing...