Drugs in the tea urn? Who signed off on this shite?

[Junkman]

I'm possibly the only person in the world that genuinely desires a Mustang 2... in brown... with a tan interior.

 

You are certainly not, as the current going rates dramatically illustrate.

Despite being terminally shite, they change hands for surprisingly stiff tariffs.

 

Also, they outsold their immediate predecessors by not a narrow margin,

so whoever signed those off, knew damn well what he was doing.

[Felly Magic]

 

 

What about the death trap that was the Ford Pinto? A car that was so flimsy that a light rear end shunt, the rear bumper would puncture the fuel tank, and the doors would jam shut

 

 

[vulgalour]

I want one of those too!  In fact, just like that one in the picture.  Mmm... seventies American porridge.

[Noel Tidybeard]

only the eng from the Cortina was used in the sierra rest of the running gear was borrowed from the Granada mk2

EFA

[M'coli]

^What about the dolly sprint?!

That gets away with it because the Toledo and Dolly came with the same engines as the fwd Triumphs, or it's the exception that proves the rule.

[Partridge]

There was actually some sound logic behind the Avantime. They figured that there would be lots of twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings who had fond memories of their parent's cars which were Espaces. So wouldn't they just love a "trendy" Espace with two doors?

 

Of course, it flopped and was a terrible mistake.

[UmBongo]

FordPinto1971.jpg

 

 

What about the death trap that was the Ford Pinto? A car that was so flimsy that a light rear end shunt, the rear bumper would puncture the fuel tank, and the doors would jam shut

 

Front end of a frightened rabbit and the back end of a Marina coupe?

 

I would.

[Cavcraft]

I always see the City Rover more as a sort if desperate money saving measure than a shit designed and made car, because it was always going to be shit and Rover just wanted a cheap fix for the small car market.

 

I don't believe for a minute Rover didn't know the car would be shit. Their already poor dealer chain must have been crying into their cornflakes when they saw how awful the car was.

[cort16]

I don't think Rover pulled any of their crack pot schemes by accident and to be fair to them some of them helped it limp on a bit further than it would have with out it (plan Z)

 

I think if they'd sold it for £5995 then it would have been bought by old giffers and mingebags  but they tried to cling onto the fact it's a premium product when it quite obviously wasn't.

I heard that the Daewoo Matiz had a production cost of $300 but by the time you switched things for UK roads, imported it, paid duty on it, it was more like £3000. They sold it for £6000.

I bet the the City Rover was very similiar and the could probably have sold the car for 6 grand and still made £2000 before giving the dealers a 10% margin on top of that but they had to ask for more.

 

The same is true of the current MG's. If they give up on delusional idea of being a premium product and sell the petrol for 10 grand and the diesel for 12 grand people would buy them and I bet they'd  still making money on them. Trying to squeeze out a massive margin on stuff like this just doesn't work.

 

It's still drugs in the tea urn it's pretending to believe in a product you know is shit for the sake of making money that will never materialise. It's still delusional.

[Ratdat]

Rover backed themselves into a corner by dropping every other brand they had and just keeping the Rover name going. The Rover brand name was synonymous with premium products so any cheapo bottom feeder cars were always a threat to dilution of their brand image unless tarted up as some kind of luxury product.

 

They should have kept something like Austin going or even re-purposed the Mini brand they way BMW have and sold their smaller cars under that moniker, just as they flogged the sportier types under MG.

 

The general principle of imported some Indian built chod and gluing it onto the bottom of your range is, in itself not a bad idea as other companies have proved by doing similar ventures succesfully. Trying to sell it as something it isn't... a premium vehicle, no so much.

[cort16]

Suzuki board meeting. We've spent big money on developing this new Vitara platform we HAVE to do what other manufacturers are doing and re-use it for other models has anyone any ideas?

Anyone?

Remember at Suzuki there's no such thing as a bad idea.

 

One guy at the back puts his hand up.

 

Hmm, I'm not sure. It looks a bit funny lets just get the Christmas party out the way then review it in the morning..

 

Come back to work on the 6th of January and has a vague recollection of signing something off.

 

[r.welfare]

Tall cars.

Like, the Fusion to the Fiesta. The original C-Max to the Focus. Golf Plus. That tall Astra thing with still only five seats.

 

I can only see them appealing to wearers of top hats, yet an entire new model is launched.

 

Tall step-in height is attractive to old people and those with buggered backs but don't want a 4x4.  My dad, who is getting on a bit, loves his Nissan Note.

 

That said, I can see the point (sort of) for supermini-sized ones but not anything bigger.

[Station]

FordPinto1971.jpg

 

 

What about the death trap that was the Ford Pinto? A car that was so flimsy that a light rear end shunt, the rear bumper would puncture the fuel tank, and the doors would jam shut

 

I read there was nothing massively wrong with the Pinto, and that it just got in the crossfire of Ralph Nader because he focused on that Ford cost cutting exercise. It was involved in as many car fires as every other car in America at the time. It's weird how bad publicity sticks and gets mutated over time.

The bolts on the differential punctured the fuel tank - the fix would be to put covers over the bolts.

 

The City Rover had a cheap aftermarket stereo cut into the dashboard, complete with the horrible LED/plastic that comes with them.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Bonjour mes Ami. Our German and Rosbiff competitors have taken a wrong turning with their 'ow you say? Retro design.

Our expert researchers de market have discovered this is a rue de mort.

They will never sell any of these

Or these

 

Pah! Our crack team of designers have come Allez oop with these.

These voitures excellent will change the future of city cars- vive la revolution!

[eddyramrod]

I'm possibly the only person in the world that genuinely desires a Mustang 2... in brown... with a tan interior.

Not quite!  Although, were I to be somehow given a brown one, it would automatically become yours.  I hate brown cars*, my Mustang 2 would have to be in a more primary colour, preferably red.

 

*Now there is a brave admission on this forum!

[Junkman]

Not quite!  Although, were I to be somehow given a brown one, it would automatically become yours.  I hate brown cars*, my Mustang 2 would have to be in beige.

 

*Now there is a brave admission on this forum!

 

There. I fixed it for you.

[brickwall]

[NorfolkNWeigh]

There were a couple of Mustang ll s that excited me as a 12 year old.

It always seemed unfair that Sabrina only got a Pinto

Probably all had the same wheezy 2.3 though.

[Junkman]

We shud av a voiture, sad looks like a newt, av a steering wheel wis no spokes, and andle like a waterbed made from marshmallows

filled wis a liquid sed dissolves marshmallows.

 

 

Av yoo seen se Nissen huts sey av in Angleterre? We shud av a van sat looks like sose.

 

 

 

Oy, Brian, what we need is a sportscar that looks like a holoruthian, have insufficient cooling by default,

and no legal way to attach a front number plate.

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Junkman, the last time I had to look a word up when reading about cars,was LJK Setright when I was 14. Then it was usually some obscure Latin , Hebrew or musical reference that then enriched my limited intellect .

Now I know a posh word for Sea Cucumber- my intellect is not feeling enriched.

[purplebargeken]

 

 

What about the death trap that was the Ford Pinto? A car that was so flimsy that a light rear end shunt, the rear bumper would puncture the fuel tank, and the doors would jam shut

 

Ha, the US govt employed Ford to look at cunning methods of population control. It was all meant to be. 

[Asimo]

"The new A Klasse falls over when avoiding elk!"

 

"OK........Let's make it tall enough to put the elk inside!"

 

 

 

"That Suzuki X90 is so cool, we just have to do one here at Chevrolet"

 

[dangerousdave]

I was thinking about cars that on the face of it are crack pot ideas that either flopped massively or turned out to be a big success.

I'm thinking about cars that had to be signed off by some drug adled exec who was about to leave for "personal problems" such as not being able to fit enough drugs up their nose or some free thinker who was determined to re-invent a car segment but actually just ending their career instantly.

 

Obviously the Avantime is close to my heart. Fair play to Renault for signing off on it but for fuck sake a luxury 2 door Espace coupe is a terrible idea no one is going to buy one and sure enough they didn't. History said that only the french bought big French cars but even they didn't buy to many of them. Partially Renault are responsible for baffingly launching the Vel Satis at the same time, which is not only mental in itself but the Velsatis isn't exactly a conventional car. On top of which the Velsatis had the build quality of  pound shop ironing board so they all blew up or had £90,000 warranty claimsn

 

IMG_1348 by cort16, on Flickr

 

The City Rover. No great plans to change the luxury car market like Renault with the Avantime. It's was really just cock arsed attempt to trick the general public out of their money with a shit car imported car from india. It turned into a Joke that back fired and shat on an already pretty shitty Rover brand.

 

 

The Ford Sierra. It took a seriously big set of plums to not only kill of the Cortina name but to switch it to a hatchback that looked absolutely bugger all like the Cortina. This of coursr went down like a shit sandwich at a toddlers picnic with the general public. Once everyone realised the Cortina wasn't coming back and the fleets bough bazillions of them it went on to be a massive sales success even though it was lumbered with Cortina running gear.

I still don't forgive them though I was 9 years old at the time and still feel the pain. I WANT MY TEDDY.

 

 

 

More Rover madness. In an automotive equivalent of getting someone to look the other way while you nick all the crisps out their open crisp packet Rover came up with the 75 and ZT v8's to try to distract the world from the facy the whole company was being flushed down the toilet/off shore bank accounts Someone decided trying to cram a massive v8 from rear wheel drive american police car into a front wheel drive car bought by pensioners seemed like a great idea right at the point they got to the half way point of their box of skunk laced chocolate biscuits. Amazingly they managed to build and by all accounts didn't make a massive arse of it given the general architecture. Obviously no one really bought one and the few that made it onto the roads ares now only desired by weirdo Avantime drivers and visitors to specialist car forums.

 

im sorry I have to correct you the sierra wasn't all Cortina running gear yes the 1.6 and 2 litre engines were pinto but you could also get 1.8 cvh  but only until 89 everything else was different the gearbox was the type 9 5 speed till they put the twin cam in then it was the mt 75 the front suspension was strut and the rear was fully independent

[Felly Magic]

^^^^^^ When launched, the Sierra was only available with the ex Cortina 1.6 and 2.0 Pintos, and 2.3 Cologne, and the Peugeot 2.3 diesel, most of which were still using the Cortina 4 speed box

[cort16]

I read all sierras had bmw engines.

When they came out there was a fair bit of cortina oily bits on sierras.

 

As for the street wise I recon you'd be much better with the l series than the BMW motor if my experience is anything to go by .

[fotorabia]

[Junkman]

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I feel you're behaving as an agent provocateur now,what next ,the Tagora?

Regarding the P76, how can any car with the ability to carry a 44 gallon drum in the boot with the lid down have been designed by anyone on anything stronger than cold weak lager?

[Cavcraft]

 

Corsa: Take a popular, useful small car. Make it look fifty times uglier, only have two rear seats and have piss all room in the back, call it the Tigra and struggle to find anyone who'd really want one.

 

*Naturally I'll get one, one day, purely because it's possibly the only Vauxhall variant of that era I haven't owned.

[Felly Magic]

As Corsitsnot has just mentioned the Tigra, I have to mention the Puma, yes it was good to drive, BUT, thanks to it's piss poor design and shitty steel, it rotted at great velocity. BTW I think they look fugly too