Do the SVM shuffle...

[CreepingJesus]

Cheap dinners in a crap pub in Cumbernauld, are a dangerous thing. An excess of fat and salt is consumed, and many inappropriate things are said. Not least "I'm getting rid of the T5", which temporarily halted my scoffing of a brace of gammon steaks. "I'll have it." Deal done. Pretty much that simple.

So, yesterday morning, I looked for some insurance for the thing, and spent four hours wading through insurance industry bullshit, in order to make it legal at a reasonable price. Everybody needs a comedy quote once in a while...

 

 

...but as the monthly price was '854', and I'd found 8 fags down the back of the hall radiator, I reckoned the gods of shite were smiling.

Had to run for the train, so I didn't bother adding it to my Green Flag policy. Because it's not far away really, and it's a nice reliable Volvo. Deal with that another day.

Spot old Mini: the gods won't be steering me wrong today, will they?

 

 

Got ticket as the train pulled in, no waiting, excellent. Jumped off at Haymarket, over the bridge, onto the next train, no waiting. Excellent. Sitting in Motherwell station, I get a message...

 

 

Yeah...erm. No need to panic however, the gods are smiling on this one, remember. So I won't be making a panicked call to Green Flag, begging them to come and help.

Get to Glasgow Central, wait only ten minutes for the next train (fag break time), and I'm off.

Off at Paisley Gilmour St, and have a wander about in the blazing sunshine, until news of the thing's resurrection reaches me. It doesn't take long - CMS's tame mechanic has diagnosed crapped-up dizzy cap, and rectified it - before the man himself appears at considerable velocity*, and we set off to put things straight.

 

 

Fuck yeah, SVM in da house. This is how we do.

So, a brief blast behind the silver brick proves that it works. And I don't know where half the useful stuff is - it's in different places to the V70, although it feels familiar enough.

No paperwork: it's 'somewhere safe'. To be fair, I imagine we've all done that. So, money exchanged, and a receipt from CMS Autos in my sweaty mitt, it's time to go home.

Leaving CMS Towers, I know the two pics I must take, and neither of them are far away...

 

 

Dino juice filling place shot...

 

 

...and the TooSavvy special.

I couldn't be more sure that the gods were smiling, considering what I parked in front of, to take that shot...

 

 

Homewards! Ah, but wait. Through Glasgow city centre traffic at rush hour, with a turbo-beast, with slipping clutch, which has already FTP'd once today? Nae danger. Scenic route.

Over the Erskine Bridge, across to Milngavie, and ended up chasing* an old git in a TVR Cerbera. To be fair, he started it, acting the dick: but neither of us got over about 40mph, and I gave him a nice wave* as he turned down to the Briggs, and I turned left for Kirky.

Sloooooooooow motion all the way to Kilsyth, then clear road. There was a Saab 9-3 behind me, but not for long. Even with a slipping clutch, this thing is effing quick across the narrow, twisty A803, and utterly sure footed. I could get to like this.

Onto the M80 at Haggs, 'cos I've had enough of slow old dears. Settle into the M876, and it's very pleasant at these speeds too. Shows a clean pair of heels to a rep in a Golf turdo-weasel. Level up. I am a driving god. Over the Kincardine Bridge, and tackle the B985, which I know very, very well; and it occurs to me that this thing is just making the horizon come closer. It doesn't tear your arms off, or feel like warp drive. It's just fast. Very fast. And it's not even on top form...

 

Now, there's been enough pics of this car posted here recently, that I reckon you probably know what it looks like. So have a 'scenic view' shot instead...

 

 

It's a bit crap, mind you: the sunlight was blazing across, I hadn't shut the door right, and I had to crop it on the left, because there's some Italian tourist woman, looking at me like I'm nuts. I mean, why would you want to photograph your car against a World Heritage Site, anyway? (I presume she thought, holding her bloody DSLR.)

Two minutes along the road, to home, and a late dinner. Leave the pair of them to have a staring match. This could take a while...

 

 

So that was that. Not a South Of France epic, or anything so daring. But better than the last one (Got bus to Kirkcaldy, drove back.) I now have backup wheels, so I can fix the V70, without having to worry about finishing any given job in the 3 1/2 minutes it normally stands still each day. There's been some compliments, and a suggestion from a polish obsessed neighbour that I should perfectionise it. Erm, no. But his cousin might be able to do the clutch cheaply, which is good. But, scabby it will remain.

To be done soon: new dizzy cap and rotor arm, lob the dump valve and cone filter in the bin. Make the stereo work (half done today), trace the rattling from the rear (might be the towbar) and maybe chuck rear discs at it.

 

Many thanks to CMS, Scotrail, Irn Bru, Bell's Pies, JPS , The Gods Of Shite, and the weather. This has been an SVM production for Autoshite...

 

 

[HillmanImp]

Brilliant write up and love this:

 

[hairnet]

No paperwork: it's 'somewhere safe'. To be fair, I imagine we've all done that. So, money exchanged, and a receipt from CMS Autos in my sweaty mitt, it's time to go home.

 

ive bought a motorcycle today and this happened also

 

EDIT: hes texted me - found them (they got tidied away by the boss )

[Spiny Norman]

Most excellent write up, suitably moody fizzog shot FTW.

[CreepingJesus]

Yeah, I'm thinking of having that one issued as a signed 6x8. Limited edition prints, to be offered in the AS way. Ergo, I'm going to go away and raffle my face.

If it gets me a part in the gritty reboot of American Graffiti I'll be happy.

 

 

 

EDIT: hes texted me - found them (they got tidied away by the boss )

 

I think something similar happened at CMS towers...

[holbeck]

Brilliant write up and love this:

 

That Sir, is Autoshite gold.

[The Moog]

And to imagine.. On his feet are white moccasins...

[dollywobbler]

I think that proves that an excellent roadtrip is in the story telling, not necessarily the crazy-mileage antics. Nicely done!

[Bren]

ive bought a motorcycle today and this happened also

 

EDIT: hes texted me - found them (they got tidied away by the boss )

What have you bought?

 

Pics or it did'nt happen.

[Jim Bell]

Glad this is spreading its legs and seeing more of its homeland.

Pic of old Volvo next to bridge is ace. As is the Savvy munnyshot.

Well threaded dude.

[Split_Pin]

Ace stuff. Didn't know you lived in Kirky either, not far from me. I'll give you a nod if I see you!

[CreepingJesus]

I don't, I'm in SW Fife. Near Radiation-on-Forth to be exact.

Although, my sister's ex lived in Kirky. They didn't like him much either, so they went up in my estimation.

 

Thanks for the kind comments.

 

Since Friday, it seems to have acquired the nickname 'Raffles' (thanks to Spiny Norman, and Viz magazine), although Kay wanted to call it Darth Volvo, on account of the curious noises the dump valve makes. She's not wrong, but like I say, it will be silenced soon, and will Darth Volvo no more.

Left it at home yeasterday, and used the V70 to go to work. Took it today, and to my delight, the clutch doesn't slip much at all when it's properly stone cold. My usual backroads to dual carriageway route, was tackled about 20% faster...

The journey back was even more exciting. When I found out how good* those front tyres are in the teeming rain. Also, the stat seems to be stuck open.

But hey ho, all is still basically well, and issues can be resolved, with a bit of cash injection.

[Parky]

That Sir, is Autoshite gold.

This has got to be a new thread "Your Too Savvy bridge shot"

[CreepingJesus]

The old bridge is on Linwood Road, if anyone fancies visiting it. Not that it's difficult to find, mind you. Some of the old car plant office buildings are still there, and the underpass at the bottom of Asda's car park is original too.

Nearby is Ferguslie Park, a charming country estate in the mock Baronial style, noted for its' wildlife. Especially at night.

[Richard]

There is a dump valve tip in this month's Viz- instead of wasting money on expensive dump valves, simply open a bottle of Cola every time you pass a bus stop.

[rml2345]

Is "TooSavvying" going to be the next craze after Woolarding? Hoping all that performance* nonsense was going to end up in the bin where it should be.