La cinq-cent dix

[eddyramrod]

This is totally impressive stuff.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Absolutely amazing work !!! 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

These stories are what I like best about coming on old car forums. Lets face it we all do our 9 to 5 jobs day in day out to earn money to pay the gas bill or whatever and if theres a bit left over at the end we buy a holiday to 'somewhere nice' and attempt to forget about work, DIY, traffic jams, foul-mouthed wankers in supermarket car parks and all the other shit that gets served up every day you're on the planet. But even that once-a-year holiday is a compromise - you have to go somewhere amenable to the wife, kids, wallet, dog, uncle Pauline who lives near Skeggy, and plan it in around all the other twats in your office who all booked their holidays 2 years ago leaving you with rag all choice about when you can travel. JUST imagine if you could set off on your own or with a mate with some euros and a trailer and spend a few days buying a car you've always wanted out of a closing-down French scrapyard. I honestly can't think of anything more appealing, except perhaps buying some oddball japanese heap off Custojusto.pt and spending a week coaxing it up home through Spain and France, which is not that far removed anyway. We're seeing a dream being lived here that we all recognise. Just beautiful.

[Guest Breadvan72]

This is a winning thread.

 

 

No.  This is not A winning thread.  It is THE winning thread.

 

Autoshite is now over.  That's all she wrote, folks.

[mercrocker]

Yeah, I can't imagine how to top that - unless Mr Bickle drives to Soviet Georgia....Absolute top hole shite-ing, I haven't done anything remotely like that for at least 30 years and reading this has reminded me what I am missing out on.   Adrenalin does not  have  to come from high-speed cornering or quartermile shenanigans.   This is a bloody brilliant tale.

[Pillock]

I'm just going to go and sit in my 2009 car, with it's warranty and full service history, and think about how I wish I was ballsy enough to do something mental like this.

 

It's a great read though!

[Ratdat]

Tuesday morning it was time to say " à bientôt" to the Vendée and head for Angleterre. I hate leaving this place as it's just so damned nice. It's one of the most chilled out places I've ever been... it's like travelling into the past.

 

 

I had planned to head straight for Calais and jump on whatever boat was going as I had nothing booked but in the event, after some thought, i figured it would make a lot more sense to take one of the other options. The Brittany Ferries Economié service from Le Havre would cost me about £40 more but would save me quite a lot of time and fuel, plus as it was nearer, i could try to steer clear of péage, saving a little more there. So, it meant more of this...

 

 

...which unfortunately became more like this. Bugger...

 

 

510 looked a bit angry about that..

 

 

Yet again, the old Prairie never missed a beat and it was plain sailing all the way to the Aire dee la Vallée de la Vire where I stopped for lunch. Even in services in France the food is top notch. Freshly made baguette avec poulet et crudités, et Café au lait. James had given me some extras too, some brie, paté, salami and totatoes so I had a right old feast. So much so, I had to kick back French style and do nothing for the next hour.

 

 

 

To be fair, I was a bit slack with the tat spotting in the services but I did catch these...

 

 

 

While I was there, this monster trundled past on the road behind the services. Convoi Exceptionnel!

 

 

 

On the way out I clocked this Quatrelle and was so busy trying to snap a pic of it that I went back onto the autoroute the wrong way and then had to go 8kms before I could turn around. Merde!

 

 

Of course there are bazillions of these around still...

 

 

For the last leg to Le Havre, I hopped on the péage again as it was less than 10 euros and i wanted to go over the Pont de Normandie which is a pretty cool bridge.

 

 

It was a third gear haul up it for the Prairie though as it's quite steep!

 

 

I arrived in Le Havre at 7pm, a little early as the boat didn't go until after 10pm but it just gave more time to take it easy and have a bit of food as i wasn't about to spend out on foor on the boat. Here's the journey so far...

 

 

 

[ProgRocker]

Fantastic, Ratdat.

 

Best of luck with the triple S!

[trigger]

The photo voting for next years AS calendar is over, 2015's calendar will just contain every photo from this thread!

[Ratdat]

I got a bit more French practice chatting to the French cops at the port. No strife, they were just pretty interested in the 510. I wasn't quite so tired this time so managed the French a little bit better, although still rubbish really. 

 

If you've been on one of these crossings on a budget, you'll know all about the reserved 'lounge seat' you get if you're to tight to cough up for a cabin. These things are impossible to sleep in! Completely uncomfortable and restrictive. Last time I had one was on the crossing from Caen. Then I just went an slept on the carpet behind all the seats but this boat has shiny floors without carpet and you can't even go sleep in the luggage rack (another good choice). Of course all the available seating in the café bit were occupied with sleeping bodies but I had a plan. Wait until after midnight when everyone has bedded down and go sleep in the kiddies play area. Winner! This is all padded and pretty comfy. I'd taken a sleeping bag and pillow just in case and these payed dividends as I got a pretty good nights kip!

 

 

Breakfast on this crate was only 6.60 Euros with a coffee so I indulged as it'd save me from stopping until i was about half way home. Yet again, it was a smooth crossing. I've been well lucky in this regard so far but I know one day I'm going to get a rough one. The morning was lovely.

 

 

And so the French part of the adventure ends. *sniff*

 

[phil_lihp]

This is the best thing I've read in ages.  

[Cheggers]

Jaysus, that's quite a road trip...chapeau mon brave!!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[hairnet]

LOL at the boat youve done what ive done on the liverpool belfast ferry the cabin cost more than the crossing so the padded bit got a visit and as it was 11pm there was noone about (they all go via holyhead )

 

ps YOU ARE STILL INSANE

[Mr Lobster]

Inspirational stuff.  I'm already wondering about if I can fit a towbar on my SEAT and then find a nice Mk1 Renault 5 in France at some point...

[garethj]

Absolutely epic, well done sir.

 

And Mr_Bo11's post could be the Autoshite mission statement.

 

My wife comes from Vendee, looks pretty close to your mate James.  We go back to her parents for holidays some summers and I agree with your description about the pace of life there.  The other strange thing is they seem to only like new houses there.  If there's some land with an old farmhouse on, it's worthless because any French person wants to knock it down and build a new house.  You've got to be a cray-zee Eenglish if you want to actually live in an old house there.

[greengartside]

This thread is just what is needed after a crappy day at work. Inspirational on an unimaginable scale. God bless you Ratdat.

[Ratdat]

Absolutely epic, well done sir.

 

And Mr_Bo11's post could be the Autoshite mission statement.

 

My wife comes from Vendee, looks pretty close to your mate James.  We go back to her parents for holidays some summers and I agree with your description about the pace of life there.  The other strange thing is they seem to only like new houses there.  If there's some land with an old farmhouse on, it's worthless because any French person wants to knock it down and build a new house.  You've got to be a cray-zee Eenglish if you want to actually live in an old house there.

 

This seems to be true, especially when you see the new builds on the outskirts of most villages. Some of the prices of places there are crazy cheap. I think the place James lives in cost something like 28,000 euros. It's got a couple of acres, decent workshop and garage and a load of other outbuildings that aren't even used. The house is so big he actually only lives in less than half of it!

[Bren]

I can take or leave Japanese stuff.

 

HOWEVER, this is one of the best looking cars ever - it looks quite muscular in a non Japanese like way.

 

Top bombing.

[seth]

Simply brilliant.  Every iota.  Properly living the dream.

 

 

'Its a bit tappy'

[Mr_Bo11ox]

"MUM!!!! I WANT TO PLAY ON THE SLIDE BUT THERES AN UNSHAVEN BLOKE IN A BEANIE HAT ASLEEP ON IT"

[garethj]

This seems to be true, especially when you see the new builds on the outskirts of most villages. Some of the prices of places there are crazy cheap. I think the place James lives in cost something like 28,000 euros. It's got a couple of acres, decent workshop and garage and a load of other outbuildings that aren't even used. The house is so big he actually only lives in less than half of it!

A few years ago we went into an estate agents while we were in France, ended up looking around this house which was 5 bedrooms, if you didn't count the other 2 which were just extra rooms upstairs.  There was a massive garage, outbuildings, a brick built shed (which was probably bigger than my current poxy 3 bedroom house in Middle Management Close) and a garden so big that a herd of goats would have room to roam without bumping into each other.

 

We could have sold our house in England, paid cash for that one in France and been mortgage free.  That was a tough decision, and often I wonder if we made the right one by staying in England.

 

Back to the thread, the only way this trip could get better is if you ended up with the 1600SSS towing the Prarie back for the last few miles.

[Ratdat]

Of course, the first thing that happened after arrival back in the UK was I got stuck in traffic for 40 minutes. Gah!

 

 

There's a lot more strife on UK roads, which you kind of get used to if you live here but after the effortless cruising in France, the UK is a pretty stressful place to travel. If you were travelling from the A1 to the M1 via the A421 at Bedford on Wednesday, here's why you were stuck in traffic. They were still damping this down when I went past.

 

 

The a bit further on, I just missed this bit of action. Look close and you can see a Landrover on it's side (rear end and underside visible) and an enormous trailer, similarly upended, blocking both carriageways. I reckon of all the accidents I have seen in which vehicles have lost it whilst towing, about half of them have been Landrovers.

 

 

As ever, the Prairie just kept chugging on without complaint. Despite it being a tad too light to be pulling this combo, it's long-ish wheelbase and lack of rear overhang tend to make it pretty stable with a trailer. It's only about 90bhp but it's reasonably torquey. On the whole trip it used 2 litres of oil which isn't too bad considering it's knocking on for 160,000 miles now. Here's the whole route taken. 1470 miles in total.

 

 

And finally, the 510 SSS at it's new home. I'll post up a few more pics of it in a mo.

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

"MUM!!!! I WANT TO PLAY ON THE SLIDE BUT THERES AN UNSHAVEN BLOKE IN A BEANIE HAT ASLEEP ON IT"

 

 

Ne t' inquete pas, mon petit, c'est pas un fiddleur des kiddies.  C'est seulement un amateur des voitures du merde totales,  C'est un type bien connu en Angleterre.

 

Waaaaa! Maman!  J'en ai peur!  C'est beaucoup plus worse que Jimmy Savile!

 

Bof, mon enfant, tu as raison.  Capitaine de Bateau!  Summonez vous les flics internationales!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

SOUP HERB

[vulgalour]

Thoroughly enjoyable read, impressive too.  When I met you I was under the seemingly false impression that you still had some marbles left, I'm so glad this isn't true.

[Skizzer]

Legendary.

 

That is all.

[mouseflakes]

 

Now, is that someone else with the same idea already bunked down for the night, or did you actually hand your camera to someone and ask them to take a photo of you sprawled out on the softplay mats? If it's the latter, then that's even funnier than you going off for a pee halfway through the engine start-up video.

[Ratdat]

Now, is that someone else with the same idea already bunked down for the night, or did you actually hand your camera to someone and ask them to take a photo of you sprawled out on the softplay mats?

 

 

Haha, no an older couple had the same idea. There were also a row of soft seats for kids at the end just out of shot, and in the morning there was a dude asleep on those too, despite them being barely wide enough to lie on!

[Louise2cv]

Oh WOW. this thread is amazing. You are a legend, the writing and pics are just right and you have inspired some excellent contributions. Best thread of EVAH!!

 

Can I just say, Mrs Ratdat must be pretty cool too. I seriously consider murdering Matt if he suggests nipping out to spend and hour or two taking pictures of buildings in Bangor. 

[Ratdat]

She was gutted she could come too as she had to work on Tuesday. She's well up for continental shite driving adventures though.