I Want That Car ITV4

[Pillock]

Even Mrs_Pillock, who has been known to sit through an episode of Wheeler Dealers only calling Mike Brewer a twat once or twice, AND has seen an entire Chop Shop, asked politely if the pain could end and as such we missed the end.

 

It seems to offer none of the elements of a great car show.

 

Great production - erm, nope. Once or twice they tried some KRAZY KAMERA ANTICS and clearly found some special buttons but that just meant you couldn't actually see anything they were talking about.

Great information - Not a sausage. Repeatedly reminding us that a 40 year old car has little in the way of safety features is not useful. Repeatedly looking at your little yellow bit of card full of facts before telling us something bellendish about the door handles on an MG is not great. Especially when you then can't work out if an Astra has electric windows or not, when you're sat in the car. Oh, and just opening the boot on every car is not really a good way of checking for accident damage.

Great consumer advice - No. They implied that all MG engines are made of cheese, and that a thousand-pound chavved up Astra with a flaky-paint bodykit and wonky rear spoiler is a great buy for a 20 year old. I assume the program was sponsored by an insurance company who are going to profit madly from people following suit.

Great presenters - Hahahahahahaha. A supposed veteran car journalist you've never heard of and a bint who seems to get by on good looks and little else. Absolutely no interaction between them.

[purplebargeken]

Her dad is a very nice person, well respected in Triumph Dolomite circles and he put together a very worthy brake upgrade assembly that is a massive improvement on standard and has been fitted to many, many cars.

 

Rebecca does run a car sales business and is a racer too (Porsche) I believe. She does have a nice bum as well.

[outlaw118]

I'll chuck my two penneth in.

It's basically a remake of that show that Brewer used to do with that lanky bespectacled streak of piss whose name escapes me. (The presenter and the show).

You know, the one our Most Worshipful Lord Bickle was on.....

 

The only difference was the Brewer show had some buying and selling, and someone who gave the impression at least that he knew what he was talking about.

 

I watched this last night, well, about 20 minutes of it, and spent 19 minutes of it punching myself in the face. The only reason I lasted that long was because I had the cat on my lap, and I didn't fancy blood injuries pushing hgim off to get to the remote.

In the end I did, and received a couple of abrasions for my trouble. It was worth it though.

 

99% of the contributors on here could do a better job than that twat who was presentling, I know I could, BillyCav could, and Mr Ian Wobbly certainly could. Wat has media training, he can produce.....(mind runs away with me.....)

 

Glamour? We've got a few "burds" on here, just dress 'em up in some greasy overalls, undo a few buttons, that's the pervert audience catered for. Or I'll kidnap Kelly Brook, and she can do it.

 

There, sorted. ITV4, are you listening?

[Junkman]

I had to switch it off after 3 Minutes.

I cannot watch male TV presenters with bare arms, it's repulsive.

[RichL]

I watched the first 10 minutes last week. And that was it. PetrolHead TV has reached a new low...

[DVee8]

Wasn't there another version of this,with a fat bloke and penny mallory?

[Jim Bergerac]

The Mike Brewer one was Deals on Wheels or was their another one?

 

The Jason Dawe one was Used Car Roadshow which had sky high* production values.

 

I also vaguely recall Good Car Bad Car(?) with Dom Littlewood and some guy who used to be on Top Gear.

 

I really remember and watch too much shite.

[Lord Sterling]

Mike Brewer and Richard Sutton presented Deals on Wheels between 1997 and 2001 (seemingly when trousers and shirts were still 'in')

 

I've always liked Deals on Wheels, it was very down to earth with fair, clear advice given without being patronising or glazing over facts with guesswork/what is popular.

 

 

Check the shirts and trousers with prominant belt buckle, 1990s style, my kinda style

 

I also remember Good Car Bad Car with Dominic Littlewood. Didn't he give advice to people who were buying new cars from dealers or something whilst he hid in a van listening to whether his victims would take the advice and if the dealer would budge on the offers?

[Jim Bell]

I saw the episode where they were locked in the garage with a f100, some pipe, a welder, some fresh vegetables and a compressor.

They built a cabbage shooting cannon, mounted it on the back of the f100, welded some metal plates over the windscreen and side windows and drove out through the side of the garage shooting cabbages at ALL the baddies.

 

 

I think.

 

 

But that MAY have been The A Team.

 

Which side was I meant to be watching again?

[UmBongo]

I saw the episode where they were locked in the garage with a f100, some pipe, a welder, some fresh vegetables and a compressor.

They built a cabbage shooting cannon, mounted it on the back of the f100, welded some metal plates over the windscreen and side windows and drove out through the side of the garage shooting cabbages at ALL the baddies.

 

 

I think.

 

 

But that MAY have been The A Team.

 

Which side was I meant to be watching again?

Crucially, none of the baddies ever died.

Even a helicopter full of baddies, crashing into a cliff face and turning into a huge ball of flames did not result in any fiery corpses, as I recall.

[HillmanImp]

I seem to recall that Hannibal was a big fan of the Honda Jazz, regularly stating he loved the Jazz, telling people about the Jazz and that he was doing it for the Jazz (presumably before he could afford one, i assume he was creaming a bit of money off the top, using his elaborate plans to save up the money to own one).

[trigger]

Mr T wasn't as much of a Honda fan though, he was often caught muttering under his voice "I ain't getting in no Ballade fool".

[Jim Bell]

I seem to recall that Hannibal was a big fan of the Honda Jazz, regularly stating he loved the Jazz, telling people about the Jazz and that he was doing it for the Jazz (presumably before he could afford one, i assume he was creaming a bit of money off the top, using his elaborate plans to save up the money to own one).

He WAS the oldest.

[UmBongo]

Mr T wasn't as much of a Honda fan though, he was often caught muttering under his voice "I ain't getting in no Ballade fool".

 

Mr T wasn't the brightest bulb, tbh.

 

Whenever he had to fly somewhere he always fell for the trick that allowed the rest of the team to knock him oot, drug him etc.

[face]

I watched this crud last night on ITV catch-up.

 

Well, I say 'watched' - I managed about 10 minutes before switching off.

 

It was the Mini/MGB/911 one. They stated they had 'scoured' the country for the right cars - OK

 

Terrible presenters (sausage aside)

Terrible content

Terrible fucking music

 

 

Also, somebody above mentioned something along the lines of a lanky streak of piss - could that be this jeb-end:

 

 

He's currently 'starring' with Mallory, Mason and China on the re-runs of the 2005 epic 'Classic Car Club' on 'Discovery Turbo'

 

That too, is totally, bloody dreadful.

[Junkman]

I somehow fail to follow the thought processes of these telly people (therefore have long ago started to imply they are inept of such processes).

 

People who aren't into cars don't watch such shows.

People who are into cars are knowledgeable enough to find them stupid and switch off/away.

 

So which target group are programs like this intended for?

 

And as an entire btw, I honestly wish TV presenters - male and female alike -  would revert to being appropriately attired for their job.

[Partridge]

Junkman, I think non old car people think TV like that gives them a glimpse into "The World of Old Cars". Pfffft.

[Junkman]

See, I think non old car people switch away from such programmes as quickly as I switch away from football games, i.e. as fast as pressing a button takes, which is what?

Two milliseconds?

[Partridge]

You don't like football as well? Bloody hell, there are some more of us around still! You forget to add swearing about football as well.

I'm thinking people like my lovely, lovely, dear sweet girlfriend. She owns a 1:18 scale model of a beetle so is an old car person. Even though she's not. I'm an old car person, but don't consider myself to like "classics". Which she does. And knows nothing about them other than "they look cute :3!!!"

Sorry, my Lemsip is screwing with my brain, I think I'm having a bad trip.

[cort16]

It's for people who buy whatcar magazine - 7 seater special

[Junkman]

I'm thinking people like my lovely, lovely, dear sweet girlfriend. She owns a 1:18 scale model of a beetle so is an old car person. Even though she's not.

 

And she is watching such shows on telly?

[Partridge]

Personally I love to read what car magazine and read about all the new wank. I often sit down with a beer and read it. But I call myself "Alan Partridge" on here for a reason.

[Partridge]

And she is watching such shows on telly?

She dosen't get a look in. All her housemates want to watch "OMG My Paranormal Obese Extreme Mircale Boyfriend".

Anoyone who watches anything other than stand up comedy or the news on my TV, or Top Gear (so I can write an angry blog about it after) gets shot. And she knows this.

[barefoot]

 

 

 

Isn't he the nob that did 'the caravan show'?

[saucedoctor]

ITV 4 has stopped working altogether on my Freeview box in my bedroom! The thing KNOWS!

[retrogeezer]

what a waste of a 40 odd minutes of car related programming. Why did they not just film the classic car racing FFS!

[Partridge]

Classic car racing you say? Brought to you by your's truly...

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=234300650054816&set=vb.100004246476317&type=2&theater

[John F]

Why hasn't one of you posted a pic of the lass's arse yet? I'd google it but I don't know what she's called.

[bub2006]

Rebecca Jackson I think mate

[Junkman]

You don't like football as well?

 

No, I'm...gee, what's it called again?

Errr...

Ehm..

 

Ah: Heterosexual.

Yep, that's it.

I find men with bare arms and legs revolting.