Car show stuff, what to do?

[Junkman]

...otherwise I can just walk along going 'that's nice, that's not' and be done with the show in seconds.

That's how I like to do it. 15 mins max if it is a big show. Then bugger off and do something exciting for the rest of the day, like watching paint dry.

Can't do photos at shows anyway, because the first thing every pillock does upon arrival is prop open the bonnet, festoon the car with a shitload of stupid laminated sheets and surround it with some bulky refuse.

That's what I love about car shows in Sweden. No such mongsense. It's just the cars, you, and your thoughts. Undisturbed browsing for hours on end, ample of photo opportunity and bonnets only popped if you ask the owner whether you may check something out.

[ifc63]

Here's another take on the theme. I was at a car show at Event City in Manchester this weekend. One of the cars had a 45rpm vinyl single on the windscreen (anyone under 25 will have to ask their parents about this !). Apparently a new trend that involves displaying the tune that was at No.1 in the UK singles chart on the day your car was first registered. So here's what occupied the top spot when my red Sunchaser first saw the light of day. Anyone else want to join in ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_GITrFmZB4

 

[rml2345]

I like your car show reports Wat, they're always beautifully shot. The Scandinavian stuff has been brilliant so far.

I've been asking myself the same question as the OP and decided that I can't be bothered with all that sort of mince. It only attracts the general public to come along and dribble ice cream down the flanks and make idiotic comments. Park up, fuck off and enjoy yourself.

[Junkman]

Here's another take on the theme. I was at a car show at Event City in Manchester this weekend. One of the cars had a 45rpm vinyl single on the windscreen (anyone under 25 will have to ask their parents about this !). Apparently a new trend that involves displaying the tune that was at No.1 in the UK singles chart on the day your car was first registered. So here's what occupied the top spot when my red Sunchaser first saw the light of day. Anyone else want to join in ?

Get a fuggin life!

 

FMSL

[155V6]

I left a copy of Mouldy Old Dough on the parcel shelf of a MK 3 Cortina once.It melted in the sun

[Junkman]

In short. I can't be arsed with picture threads any more. Or car show pictures. Least I won't have to lug my camera and lenses around. Nice change.

 

SOZ LADS I SHOT D FAT LADEEEEEEEEEE

Tellya wot, you are right.

Either don't do car shows at all (preferred), or, if you can't avoid it, don't be arsed to take any pics, unless you need certain aspects of a car for reference, like if you are building a model of it, or you are researching something.

 

However, you haven't really lived unless you went to one of those US Car or Hot Rod meetings, where Brits celebrate their concept of America in form of fat old bingo-winged bimbos wearing poodle skirts and some old geezers brill-cream, cowboy hats and toy pistols. Enjoy being bombarded ALL DAY LONG (!!!) with 110 dB(A) of what a third class cheesecake band thinks is Rockabilly, in combination with tattoo, piercing, striptease and the 'event' culminating in the 'Burnout Contest', which means a poor old '58 Nailhead Buick that actually managed to survive the past 55 odd years, but was recently raped with split pea soup green paint in combination with ill-fitting red and white plastic tuck and roll seat covers, is forced to spin its skinny crossplies running on most of its cylinders. Add a few unshaven bank managers trying to make a mean face while sitting on their Hardly Dangerous motorcycles. The patheticness is an overwhelming one.

[RedSparrow]

I love all that daft shit folk do at car shows. You wouldnt catch me doing it in a million years but i love to see folk who are mega into their old car to that extent. I remember laughing at a pic on here at some bonkers old couple who had carefully painted the reg number of their Austin Metro onto their wooden picnic table so that it all looked of a piece at the shows. Brilliant! 

I think that was one of my photos from ages ago, unless someone else spotted them!

 

But yeah, the stupid shit people do is quite funny. I don't get why many of them cover the dash in teddy bears though.

 

I too have always just parked the thing up (having made no effort on presentation), have a look round and go shopping or whatever.

The worst people are the ones who want to bore everyone to death about their car.

[forddeliveryboy]

I too have always just parked the thing up (having made no effort on presentation), have a look round and go shopping or whatever.

 

 

 

I do that in any carpark, cutting out the smell of sweat, plastic restorer and cheap polish. Having had a very unpleasant experience at the last show I was taken to a few years ago, I've avoided them all.

 

 

Leave a copy of Razzle on the dash.

 

Mate and me turned up at a Bentley Club do in a properly ratty S2 yeeeears ago and left an explicit copy of a masseuse's phone box ad in the window. Most of them fell about, to our surprise.

[plasticvandan]

me and a friend used to go the opposite way when taking our Reliants to Reliant rallies,for the sunday car line up and judging,we would purposely make our cars look as bad as possible,usually involving a drive in the hedgerows and muddy puddles the night before,taking odd hubcaps off,moving the mirrors around,then making up complete rubbish on the car info sheets handed to us

[alf892]

I know what you mean by the beardies (special race of person?or just variation of fuckwit genus?)................and they all think they are the only ones whose rellies once had something just the fuggin same and start to mutter 'wish I'd kept that'.

 

This is the the phrase that makes me walk away.........

[Rocket88]

Making up faux Wikepedia type stuff and then displaying it on a board is a giggle. "Specially built" Jensen 541 with 590 bhp was a mate of mine's favourite, along with "Kryptonite enhanced brakes, and an especially designed differential built be De Havilland...

[Junkman]

I know what you mean by the beardies (special race of person?or just variation of fuckwit genus?)................and they all think they are the only ones whose rellies once had something just the fuggin same and start to mutter 'wish I'd kept that'.

 

This is the the phrase that makes me walk away.........

 

There is no living Brit over 40 that doesn't regret having sold the dearly loved Rover P6 V8 he had when he was younger. Three quarters of the British population alive today was conceived in a P6 V8, the majority of them was also born in one nine months later. Mind you, only P6 V8s, the four cylinder versions were apparently never bought by the British public.

Maybe at the next show I should put a laminated list on mine with the names of all persons conceived in it sorted by dd/mm/yyyy?

This could be augmented by a list of all persons who regret having sold the car at some stage.

[RedSparrow]

I'll share a couple of favourite dickheads I've enountered.

 

1) Parked next to a 1990s mini. The bloke rushes up to me and yells at me to be careful not to dent his car as "you can't get the panels for them anymore". Yes he really said that. He had the full package of info board, 20 bears on the dash and miserable old bag of a wife sitting in the passenger seat scowling.

By the way I'm always careful opening car doors, he was just being a dick.

 

2) Parked next to an orange Opel Monza, some special edition or whatever. I was too young and polite to ignore the owner as he spend literally 30 minutes telling me all about the fucking thing, showing me every magazine article and even stupid models he'd made of it. He also said his car was the most interesting there and that mine (TR7) was ordinary and no-one would want to look at it. One quote I recall particularly was "it's only done XXXXX miles, and most of that's continent" because he said it at least 200 times that day to anyone within 20 metres of the fucking thing.
Got the impression this bloke does a lot of shows - anyone else encountered him? The tops of his fingers are missing.

[Junkman]

...anyone else encountered him? The tops of his fingers are missing.

 

I didn't, or his teeth would be missing now.

[alf892]

I reckon the best approach is just make up any outlandish shit about origins and previous owners..................just let your imagination go wild. Take as a challenge to your ability to lie/bullshit.

 

Make it it fun.

[vulgalour]

Shows are worth attending to stand nearby to your own car and eavesdrop on the punters.  Some of the bollocks they come out with is special.  I have heard many lectures about British Leyland as a result and just why the whole country is going to the dogs as a result of cars like mine.  Apparently, everybody's Dad had a Princess/Ambassador/Marina (these are the three things it's identified as), about 90% of them broke down, children were always carsick in them and they were the rustiest cars every made.  Strangely, an equal number of people owned said cars, found them 90% reliable and wished they'd never traded them in for the Ford/Vauxhall/BMW due to the comfort.

 

But my favourite showgoers are the 70+ brigade who wear those multi-pocket fishing waistcoats, loafers, corduroy slacks and weird beige hats.  Without fail, they all go past with hands clasped behind their back, shake their head while muttering about it not being a proper classic and ruining Great Britain before shambling off tutting away to themselves.  They always make me laugh.  Especially since a moment later they'll be rubbing one out (metaphorically speaking) over an Austin Ruby/Seven and whittering on about how they don't make proper motorcars like that any more.

[Junkman]

I reckon the best approach is just make up any outlandish shit about origins and previous owners..................just let your imagination go wild. Take as a challenge to your ability to lie/bullshit.

 

Make it it fun.

 

I'm not very good at such stuff. Can you help me?

[plasticvandan]

i did one for my Reliant Rebel van (the one that looked like it had been dragged out of a hedge,then taxed) lol it was something like :

Bought new by a Mrs M.Hindley who specified the optional rear seat,was sparingly used for evenings out in the countryside until it was laid up,it then sat unloved for 30 years until I bought it for £23 and spent the next 3 months bringing it back to factory spec,so I have sprayed a really thin coat of paint on it,put some crap crossplies on the wheels,polished the brake linings,replaced the drivers seat for an orange box,and detuned the engine.... etc etc

[stuboy]

do what i did turn up wipe it over let them snigger at it and go oh its only 1.8 shame not v6.... ignore the bell ends

[Angrydicky]

Another vote here for parking up and buggering off, with the occasional return to eavesdrop on the 'experts'. That was fun with the last show I did with the Atlantic, most people didn't have a clue what it was and with the exception of a few knowledgeable Austin fans, those who did know what it was got their facts completely wrong. The other thing that's good about not hanging around is that I don't have to explain what the car is, how long I've had it and what engine it has 50 times, and even worse, all the muppets who keep asking me when I'm going to restore/respray it.

 

When I can be bothered, which is very rare, I'll put a small card in one of the windows explaining the car's history. Nothing worse than having those awful boards laden with ancient brass plaques and other shit obscuring the front of the car, which is what a lot of people (old folk in particular) seem to do at shows in Essex.

 

The other thing that I don't understand is the people who spend the whole show hovering around their own car, polishing it and actually engaging people in conversation about their car, when they happen to show a casual interest in it. I go to a car show to look at other people's cars, not my own.

[RedSparrow]

Oh God, the show plaques. Like horse brasses for boring arseholes.

They're nice to have and that but who cares how many shows you've been to and bored people to death at?
Mine got thrown in the glovebox where they've been ever since.

[Rusty Pelican]

Ive done loads of car shows in my Imps , walking away after sticking a sign with a bit of info on it is the way forward , so called experts now really piss me off.

One told me his handled rubbish and always overheated .

I told him its not the Imps fault but all the stupid fuckwits who didnt have a clue how to look after them and these arseholes should stick to walking or buy a horse.

He was none to pleased to say the least

I felt GR8 though.

[Grundig]

Here's another take on the theme. I was at a car show at Event City in Manchester this weekend. One of the cars had a 45rpm vinyl single on the windscreen (anyone under 25 will have to ask their parents about this !). Apparently a new trend that involves displaying the tune that was at No.1 in the UK singles chart on the day your car was first registered. So here's what occupied the top spot when my red Sunchaser first saw the light of day. Anyone else want to join in ?

 

 

 

..... Well I took the bait & looked up the chart of October 86 - wish I hadn't as this cock occupied the number 1 slot 

[Junkman]

Well, I'm quite lucky, all things considered.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYMCLz5PQVw

[Alexg]

The vast array of car show nutters and mentalist behaviour highlighted on this here thread are what make each event at least 20% more interesting.

 

I've never bothered with info sheets as none of my cars are either mint, highly sort-after or worth reading about. And anyway, who gives a fig if owner number 3 was reserve Goalkeeper for Burton Albion or owned Clydebanks first petting zoo? My Chevette & Allegro have a sort of mid to late 80s condition about them so I'll toss in a few bits in the car in-keeping with that; boombox, 1988 tax disk, etc... that's about as crazy as it gets for me. If the Mrs would approve I'd also slap a 1987 copy of Razzle on the dash. That should draw a crowd.

 

Edit:

Leave a copy of Razzle on the dash.

 

Looks like I was beaten to that one

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Shows are worth attending to stand nearby to your own car and eavesdrop on the punters.  Some of the bollocks they come out with is special.  I have heard many lectures about British Leyland as a result and just why the whole country is going to the dogs as a result of cars like mine.  Apparently, everybody's Dad had a Princess/Ambassador/Marina (these are the three things it's identified as), about 90% of them broke down, children were always carsick in them and they were the rustiest cars every made.  Strangely, an equal number of people owned said cars, found them 90% reliable and wished they'd never traded them in for the Ford/Vauxhall/BMW due to the comfort.

 

Far as stereotypes go, at the April Event City show there was only one car being partially dismantled:

 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

You're a;; taking it too seriously FFS. if you dont like car shows don't go to them!! But dont choose to go to one and then grumble about the folk mucking about with badge boards and cuddly toys and that. Thats what a car show is!!! FFS I WENT TO A SUPERMARKET YESTERDAY AND EVERY SINGLE SHELF WAS CHOCK FULL OF BASTARD FOOD!!!!! WHAT A JOKE, I'M NOT GOING TO SUPERMARKETS ANY MORE.

[Junkman]

I hate going to supermarkets.

What ever happened to the wonderful invention called 'servants'?

They could just as well polish my car and take it to a fuggin car show, while I get shitfaced in the club until they are done with it.

[Mr Lobster]

Outlaw - do what you are happy with. If some people don't like car shows then why they would bother going is slightly beyond me.

 

Personally, I'd clean it then park up and have a wander around. Thats as far as it goes. Personally I don't like the windows and interior generally full of tat but fair play to people who do. Thats all.

 

Escort in a sea of shit by Mr Lobster, on Flickr

[inconsistant]

By the way I'm always careful opening car doors, he was just being a dick.

 

...anyone else encountered him? The tops of his fingers are missing.

 

Is that coz you're much less careful when slamming car doors shut?