Those big VW 4WD things

[Des]

VW Touran / Tigran whatever they're called, my brothers about to buy one, Yes, I've told him not to, they're a wankers car, etc. although I must admit I've not noticed any being used for bullying antics the way X5s are, anyhow, does anyone know anything about the repulsive things, like what timebomb type issues he can expect, I think it's a 2005 one, and has become a landmark with a dealer at 8K for ages so bruv is going to offer him 6K.

Thinking about that makes me feel sad.

[garethj]

I know nothing about them other than kicking the tyres, I can't imagine a new set of boots will be cheap.

 

Anything on honest john's website, or the AA?

[Timewaster]

Touran is a Zafiraish people carrier, Tiguan is a Freelanderish 4x4. I think the big thing you are refering to is a Touareg.

Pretty much the same thing as a Porsche Cayenne I believe.

[chaseracer]

Yep. Touareg/Cayenne/Audi Q7 = same difference. VW slightly more useful and less wanker-ish, if it helps fraternal relations.

 

Especially if it has the fuck-off 5.0 V10 TDi...

 

[cort16]

The Tigran's pretty horrible. It's in VW's "soul less" range, which seems to be expanding by the day. Most of them are lumbered with the 2.0 TDi motor of many a DMF woe other than that I imagine they're pretty normal/dull to drive/be in.

[R9UKE]

^ 100% correct. Definitely the least remarkable thing I've ever driven. A Golf on stilts. They have a reputation around here for being driven by the mum who didn't quite make it to the Q7/X5/XC90 class.

[dollywobbler]

I'm quite tempted to try a Toerag. They seem to offer a lot of car for the cash. Mind you, I've seen Porka Cayennes struggle to top £8000 at auction. Hideous looks aside, they seem like a bargainously stonking bit of kit. The fact that you can get them with a diesel engine is perversely right. "I'd like a diesel Porsche please."

[Talbotman]

The Toureg.....and it's cousin the Cayenne ...are a potential world of big pain and bills, and i would certainly take out an independent warranty on one as serious electrical and transmission woes are pretty common fare for these. Make sure it's got a comprehensive history as plenty of these have already fallen in to hands of ' I wanna big suv' but can't afford it brigade. And I'd avoid a petrol one like the plague.....unless it was seriously and rediculously cheap..........a Volvo xc90 is a far better and reliable choice at that sort of age and price point.

[cort16]

The 3.2 Petrol Cayenne is hopelessly slow but the 4.5 v8 seemed rapid. A guy at my work had a couple of the first generation ones a few years. I've seen them for sale for £7-8000 as dollywobbler say but you'd be bricking it incase you lost a wheel nut or something and it was £2500 from Porsche,. I don't really see the point of fast 4x4's myself. The same guy had an OverFinch RR Sport that had over 500bhp and it was quick in a straight line but completely terrifying in any other situation. Pass.

[Spiny Norman]

I don't really see the point of fast 4x4's myself. The same guy had an OverFinch RR Sport that had over 500bhp and it was quick in a straight line but completely terrifying in any other situation. Pass.

 

THIS.

I once nearly threw my boss's shiny new Merc ML500 into the scenery trying to take a bend my Alfa 156 would have shrugged off at 70mph. Hateful things, although I could see the perverse attraction of a cheap petrol turbo V8 with a totally fucked engine that did about 4mpg in town, just to annoy the OMG4x4 H8RS.

[Cavcraft]

Can't see any attraction in the Toerag. They still attract blonde bints who can't drive very well and the kind of blokes who have gelled haircuts and man bags and probably call their kids Rufus and Alice but can't quite afford to send them to the most expensive schools.

Pretty much any bloke who has a man bag is probably going to be a twat of some kind as everyone knows the only acceptable bags a bloke should be seen with are carrier bags, brief cases or Sport Soccer Direct mingebag range rucksacky type things with broken zips.

[oman5]

Can't see any attraction in the Toerag. They still attract blonde bints who can't drive very well and the kind of blokes who have gelled haircuts and man bags and probably call their kids Rufus and Alice but can't quite afford to send them to the most expensive schools.

Pretty much any bloke who has a man bag is probably going to be a twat of some kind as everyone knows the only acceptable bags a bloke should be seen with are carrier bags, brief cases or Sport Soccer Direct mingebag range rucksacky type things with broken zips.

 

As mentioned, the 5.0 V10 diesel sounds like fun- probably the only one in the range I could fancy rolling in, purely because it must be gr9 fun having enough torque to destabilize the earth's orbit

[cort16]

6 grand. They've not really got any better looking with age.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201302215441661/sort/default/usedcars/model/cayenne/make/porsche/onesearchad/used/onesearchad/nearlynew/onesearchad/new/radius/1501/postcode/ka107bd/page/1?logcode=p

[cort16]

6 grand v10 dizzler. Does it run on veg m8?

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201212114582147/sort/default/usedcars/model/touareg/make/volkswagen/onesearchad/used/onesearchad/nearlynew/onesearchad/new/quicksearch/true/postcode/ka107bd/page/2/radius/1500?logcode=p

[Station]

Toureag cam belt = forty hours labour!

[cort16]

Toureag cam belt = forty hours labour!

 

Fuck sake! Do they have to fit it on backwards over the car?

 

Is VW's hourly rate about 80 quid? 80x40=holyfuck (£3200 + parts).

 

I think I'm out.

[Junkman]

Why does your brother want to demonstrate to all the world that he has given up on life?

Are you sure that this is not a distress signal in disguise?

 

If you like your brother, you should help him. This could be serious.

Life is way too funny and short to waste it on such dreary and dismal things.

 

Those VW heaps have externally the charm of a run over dog and inside the

ambience of a porta-loo. A prison cell is more inspiring.

[Des]

The funny thing is my brother doesn't give a shit what the world thinks of him, he buys a car for himself but with a bias toward being a skank pulling aid, he's run an MR2 for a few years now which turned out to be quite useful in attracting East Euro skank, but he's pissed off with it and wants something with a bit of comfort for long trips.

Thanks to the useful info here I can honestly advise him to avoid a Toerag, that's the beauty of this forum, honest opinion based on reality.

So what's the answer to my buvs need for a big fuck off car that will cover his needs, impress semi intoxicated low self esteem trollops, be reliable for 3 or 4 years with maybe an oil change or two and a monthly visit to the hand car wash? Something Japanese I suppose.

[andrew e]

The family my wife work for bought one new, alongside the rolling Honda fleet. All bought new all driven to the death, then repeated ad-infinitum. The Toerag is about 8 years old now, no bother no surprises. I dare so any 2000 on car past it's first caring owner is as likely to fail to proceed.

 

Tell him to go for it and sod the envyous mingebags eyes!

[Junkman]

The funny thing is my brother doesn't give a shit what the world thinks of him, he buys a car for himself but with a bias toward being a skank pulling aid, he's run an MR2 for a few years now which turned out to be quite useful in attracting East Euro skank, but he's pissed off with it and wants something with a bit of comfort for long trips.

Thanks to the useful info here I can honestly advise him to avoid a Toerag, that's the beauty of this forum, honest opinion based on reality.

So what's the answer to my buvs need for a big fuck off car that will cover his needs, impress semi intoxicated low self esteem trollops, be reliable for 3 or 4 years with maybe an oil change or two and a monthly visit to the hand car wash? Something Japanese I suppose.

 

 

 

This would be infallible for the purpose unless he looks like me.

[Cavcraft]

Tell him to go for it and sod the envyous mingebags eyes!

 

 

The day I'm envious of a Toerag owner is the same day I declare my undying love for fox hunting and far right politics.

[Junkman]

What's wrong with fox hunting and far right politics all of a sudden?

[KruJoe]

A couple I know bought a new Towrag last year in which to take little Olivia to Casterton Girls' Finishing School. True. It leaks copiously some black mess onto their sandblasted flagged driveway. I'm unimpressed.

[tooSavvy]

What's wrong with fox hunting and far right politics all of a sudden?

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>not far enough!

 

tooSavvy

[DVee8]

A couple I know bought a new Towrag last year in which to take little Olivia to Casterton Girls' Finishing School. True. It leaks copiously some black mess onto their sandblasted flagged driveway. I'm unimpressed.

 

The lass over the road to us had a 59plate Range Rover sport that pissed its oil all over there nice new block driveway 2 days after it was put down.

[Junkman]

Tellim to buy that Camaro, then drive to Casterton Girls' Finishing School with it and pick up Olivia, for bloods sake.

[Felly Magic]

The Toerag has the timing gear at the rear of the engine so to change it is an engine out job. Specifically designed to rape the wallet?

[ProgRocker]

I wonder how many of these Toerag owners and other posh big 4x4 owners have remortgaged their homes to get one, so as to appear 'rich' in from of the Joneses, etc?

[cort16]

The Toerag has the timing gear at the rear of the engine so to change it is an engine out job. Specifically designed to rape the wallet?

 

Just the thought of spending 3 grand on a timing belt makes me feel faint. Do you know if the Phaeton has the same setup? I quite fancy one of these (Phaeton not toe-wrag) one day but not if the engine has to come out every time I need to change a headlamp bulb.

[Volksy]

Do you know if the Phaeton has the same setup? I quite fancy one of these (Phaeton not toe-wrag) one day but not if the engine has to come out every time I need to change a headlamp bulb.

 

Doesn't look like it..