Country Left Speechless as Phil Buys Modern Car.

[hairnet]

modern to phil or modern to the rest of us

[hairnet]

modern to phil or modern to the rest of us

[John F]

Many a chuckle here! Citroen Xsara gets my vote. Old enought to be crap, new enough to be entirely dull.

 

No, they're just SHIT. And I don't care how many cup holders they've got

[John F]

Many a chuckle here! Citroen Xsara gets my vote. Old enought to be crap, new enough to be entirely dull.

 

No, they're just SHIT. And I don't care how many cup holders they've got

[eddyramrod]

Chevrolet Cruze?

[eddyramrod]

Chevrolet Cruze?

[vulgalour]

Maybe it's a Pontiac Aztec a dealer is still trying to sell but hasn't registered yet?

[vulgalour]

Maybe it's a Pontiac Aztec a dealer is still trying to sell but hasn't registered yet?

[philibusmo]

In what is rapidly becoming known in the media as ‘modern car chaos’ the undercurrent of panic reached breaking point today. Paul Dozitwat MP for Upper Labia appeared on local news mixing with the riff raff in a hospital, building site, tooth paste factory or some shithole like that before making a short speech. When asked by a journalist in a particularly bad jacket what his thoughts were on the impending situation he responded with some poorly thought out statistics:

 

“It is very worrying indeed. When you look at the facts; Phil has owned 7 cars in the past year because he keeps getting bored of them. If you factor in that modern cars are 5 million times more boring than old ones you have to assume that by the end of the next year Phil will own all the cars in the UK.â€Â

 

Just minutes after the news was broadcast vast queues began to appear outside car dealerships as ordinary members of the public began stocking up on cars, fearing the worst.

 

The average car show room by the end of the day

 

Inside one Volkswagen dealership in Stenchburry we spoke to Mrs Bawlsak who was hurriedly signing a credit agreement to buy four new Passats and a Lupo with a dodgy alternator. “My car is essential to me†She hysterically screamed. “What if one of my children caught small pox and I couldn’t get them to the hospital because all the cars were gone? Then what? Dead children! Is this what Phil wants by buying a modern car? Dead Children? He’s a fucking terrible person.†At this point the sales man was unexpectedly stabbed in the hand with a biro.

 

Just outside one overly excited woman was clutching a copy of The Daily Express and jumping up and down with excitement. “This is exactly the sort of mindless pandemonium I just love getting involved in. I can’t drive, especially not after what a car did to Dianna, but I’m still going to buy 20 Golfs and 14 Polos.â€Â

 

Despite similar scenes at almost every car dealership, new and used, in the UK, still no-one bought an MG6.

 

Meanwhile in Bollock upon Kneecap an important document was found being carelessly left in a bin at KFC by the head of the British Super-Secret Service; MI43. The document which appears to be a screen grab from eBay with some particularly sensitive information on it covered crudely by a sharpie has confirmed yesterday’s rumours that the car in question is certainly S reg, having being built in 1998. Doubts have also begun to surface that it is French what with ‘sports seats’ being mentioned in the description.

 

That Top Secret eBay listing in full

 

This came as a shock to those who think they’re environmentally friendly and yet change their car every three years. “Call that modern?†grunted an oaf with an Audi, “I bet it hasn’t even got day light running lights.â€Â

[philibusmo]

In what is rapidly becoming known in the media as ‘modern car chaos’ the undercurrent of panic reached breaking point today. Paul Dozitwat MP for Upper Labia appeared on local news mixing with the riff raff in a hospital, building site, tooth paste factory or some shithole like that before making a short speech. When asked by a journalist in a particularly bad jacket what his thoughts were on the impending situation he responded with some poorly thought out statistics:

 

“It is very worrying indeed. When you look at the facts; Phil has owned 7 cars in the past year because he keeps getting bored of them. If you factor in that modern cars are 5 million times more boring than old ones you have to assume that by the end of the next year Phil will own all the cars in the UK.â€Â

 

Just minutes after the news was broadcast vast queues began to appear outside car dealerships as ordinary members of the public began stocking up on cars, fearing the worst.

 

The average car show room by the end of the day

 

Inside one Volkswagen dealership in Stenchburry we spoke to Mrs Bawlsak who was hurriedly signing a credit agreement to buy four new Passats and a Lupo with a dodgy alternator. “My car is essential to me†She hysterically screamed. “What if one of my children caught small pox and I couldn’t get them to the hospital because all the cars were gone? Then what? Dead children! Is this what Phil wants by buying a modern car? Dead Children? He’s a fucking terrible person.†At this point the sales man was unexpectedly stabbed in the hand with a biro.

 

Just outside one overly excited woman was clutching a copy of The Daily Express and jumping up and down with excitement. “This is exactly the sort of mindless pandemonium I just love getting involved in. I can’t drive, especially not after what a car did to Dianna, but I’m still going to buy 20 Golfs and 14 Polos.â€Â

 

Despite similar scenes at almost every car dealership, new and used, in the UK, still no-one bought an MG6.

 

Meanwhile in Bollock upon Kneecap an important document was found being carelessly left in a bin at KFC by the head of the British Super-Secret Service; MI43. The document which appears to be a screen grab from eBay with some particularly sensitive information on it covered crudely by a sharpie has confirmed yesterday’s rumours that the car in question is certainly S reg, having being built in 1998. Doubts have also begun to surface that it is French what with ‘sports seats’ being mentioned in the description.

 

That Top Secret eBay listing in full

 

This came as a shock to those who think they’re environmentally friendly and yet change their car every three years. “Call that modern?†grunted an oaf with an Audi, “I bet it hasn’t even got day light running lights.â€Â

[Cavcraft]

Alfa Romeo 156 2.0 Twinspark?

Silver?

Dirt cheap with full MOT?

Red key tastic?

[Cavcraft]

Alfa Romeo 156 2.0 Twinspark?

Silver?

Dirt cheap with full MOT?

Red key tastic?

[skattrd]

French

1998

White

12 months MOT

£360

 

Sounds like a bargain to me

[skattrd]

French

1998

White

12 months MOT

£360

 

Sounds like a bargain to me

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

And I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling Googlable phrases.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

And I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling Googlable phrases.

[hairnet]

can i just say

 

top shite there sir

 

ps not THAT modern

[hairnet]

can i just say

 

top shite there sir

 

ps not THAT modern

[sporty-shite]

Search completed items FTW!!!!

 

Top bombing, though. Looks like a mega-barg!

[sporty-shite]

Search completed items FTW!!!!

 

Top bombing, though. Looks like a mega-barg!

[Timewaster]

Oh for God's sake just spit it out man!

 

(As the actress said.......)

[Timewaster]

Oh for God's sake just spit it out man!

 

(As the actress said.......)

[Cavcraft]

That's what I did Chris!

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... true&rt=nc

[Cavcraft]

That's what I did Chris!

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... true&rt=nc

[philibusmo]

Congratulations!

I was beginning to run out of incoherent drivel.

I Should be picking it up soon, but it won't be getting driven until October 17th which is when the insurance on the Hyundai runs out so it will be getting moved to this.

 

I think I did pretty well, starting a new thread on buying a new car, then having discussion on said car without me mentioning what sort of car it is for 3 pages.

 

PS its modern for me!

[philibusmo]

Congratulations!

I was beginning to run out of incoherent drivel.

I Should be picking it up soon, but it won't be getting driven until October 17th which is when the insurance on the Hyundai runs out so it will be getting moved to this.

 

I think I did pretty well, starting a new thread on buying a new car, then having discussion on said car without me mentioning what sort of car it is for 3 pages.

 

PS its modern for me!

[Cavcraft]

That's bloody ace Phil, especially at that much money.

[Cavcraft]

That's bloody ace Phil, especially at that much money.

[wuvvum]

I think you're going to enjoy this, at least until it breaks. They really are immensely good fun to drive for what is ostensibly a family saloon, and they have about the quickest steering of anything I've driven short of a Mini. 2-litre shouldn't hang about either.

[wuvvum]

I think you're going to enjoy this, at least until it breaks. They really are immensely good fun to drive for what is ostensibly a family saloon, and they have about the quickest steering of anything I've driven short of a Mini. 2-litre shouldn't hang about either.