Dull Cars

[Six-cylinder]

Having recently had one of my favourite cars (Mercedes W124) described as “Dull†what constitutes a Dull car?

[Cavcraft]

Toyota Avensis: I reckon you could own one of these for 20 years, clock up half a million miles and still forget you'd driven it.

[pompei]

I don't know if it's an urban myth but there is a story that Toyota refused to let Clarkson have any cars to review after he compained about how dull they were.

[boobydoo]

The Oxford English Dictionary actually defines dull as:

 

"Any Japanese car manufactured between 1990-2002"

 

eg:

 

[ashmicro]

These

 

 

Horrible white instruments, so dull they couldn't even be bothered with a colour, and that big pimply rubber thing in the middle of the steering wheel. Total lack of imagination. Gutless. Looks like a dented egg. Someone just drew a curve and finished it off with a ruler. Job jobbed. Lunch, anyone?

[Volksy]

My Corolla.

 

It's just entirely adequate, does everything it's supposed to, doesn't break down, fall apart, rattle, squeak, clonk or groan. It's entirly uninspiring to drive, and is instantly forgettable. However for those reasons, it's perfect transport. I don't worry about it, it costs pennies to run, no one will steal it, it always starts.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[retro80sboy]

These

 

 

Horrible white instruments, so dull they couldn't even be bothered with a colour, and that big pimply rubber thing in the middle of the steering wheel. Total lack of imagination. Gutless. Looks like a dented egg. Someone just drew a curve and finished it off with a ruler. Job jobbed. Lunch, anyone?

 

I really like the mk 2 Astra.

 

The mk 3 on the other hand...

[Cavcraft]

And every version after it too. They're not even nice to drive and have no redeeming features at all.

 

Mk2 Mondeos and Fords of that era (and onwards) should be there as well. Just a sea of nasty, boring plastic that you can't wait to get out of.

[theorganist]

 

I think for me these are the most uninspiring cars ever built inside and out, far less interesting than the model it replaced. Although I wouldn't say know to an early low mileage giffer spec OHV or Diesel model!

 

IIRC What Car's verdict after testing one in 1990 was "fine for those who don't like driving"!!

[Pete-M]

Tough one this.

 

Having ran a W124 Merc 260E for nearly a year I'd class it as a dull car. Not a bad car, but one which at no point during my ownership did I think "I'm so glad I bought one of these, it's so special". It did the job of transporting me around the country rather well, but that was it. No fun to drive quickly even though it could go quite well, it was one of those cars which discouraged any fun whatsoever. The only exciting moments it ever provided were when that stupid wiper would randomly give up the ghost for a few minutes at a time.

 

The 320-24 version is very similar but has enough poke to remove the dullness.

 

To me, cars which 'are just for getting from a to b' tend to be dull. I don't want a car that disconnects the driver from what is going on, or complains about any sort of spirited driving. The Toyota Avensis is a splendid example. Not a bad car, utterly painless to drive, but you know that if one was human it'd be the one voice of reason whenever anything fun was suggested "Oh no, that's not a good idea, someone might get hurt". Zzzzzzzz.

 

Nothing wrong with total reliability. Nothing wrong with decent ride quality. No complaints about that kind of thing. I cannot be bothered fixing cars more than once or twice a year at the best of times. Cars which discourage quick cornering either by subtly complaining constantly (W124), by simply being shit at it (Volvo 760 GLE) or which are so numb to drive it's pointless (Avensis) are the ones I find dull.

[dollywobbler]

Dull doesn't necessarily mean bad, as Pete says. It can be really rather good. Just not very exciting. For me, the key contender is the Saab 9000. Wonderfully capable, but about as exciting as wallpaper paste.

 

[Pete-M]

Saab 9000 is definitely a dull car. Even in full on turbo nutter bastard form they're no fun. They're quick without doubt, but it's all straight (ish) line stuff, chuck one into a corner and it'll scream "Hey, you're not being very careful, slow down, there might just be an Elk, chill out, put some Abba on, man" and the chassis will totally turn to jelly.

 

This is scary the first time it happens, so the 9000 doesn't feel dull the first time you do it. Unfortunately, it'll go through the exact same routine every time you show it a corner. Which is where it becomes dull. You stop inviting it to parties. You know it won't want to do anything fun other than a bit of acceleration every now and then. Eventually you don't invite it to go anywhere at all. You don't want to spend any time with it. Then the head gasket pops and you send it over the weighbridge.

[cms206]

I agree with most of these so far, with the exception that I quite liked the Mk3 Astra; the 1.7D Merit estate I had as a works hack for about a year some time ago; it was so miserable it was actually quite endearing. In that way that only a white n/a diesel estate with a blue interior can be.

 

VAG products in general send me to sleep to the point I'm unable to tell modern ones apart. I'm sure they're all very capable but the most memorable examples for me were Golf vans with n/a diesels. Japanese cars all seem to drive the same, though I've only driven a handful of pretty bog standard examples. Modern BMWs are utterly miserable. Post 2000-model year Fords seem to all be a bit shit as well, though in saying that I am the strange bugger who likes Mk3 Fiestas, Mk5 Escorts, Mk1 Mondeos, Mk3 Cavaliers, Mk3 Astras and the like. TBH I even liked the previous generation 56/07-plate Astras I used to have to drive on occasion.

 

I imagine the Daewoo Leganza and Espero would be terminally dull, but like the Kia Magentis and last generation Hyundai Sonata they're cars I'd quite like to give a try.

[SambaS]

Love the MKII Astra, love the Saab 9000, tend to agree the Fiesta MKIII and lots of 90s on Jap stuff. However I'm quite partial to the G100 Charade 87-93 I've had a CX Turbo, a 1.3 Auto, a 1.3 CX Manual and a GTti. My friend bought the next shape up. That is a car I couldn't get excited about.

[HillmanImp]

I thought that Volksy might have posted his adequate Toyota on here. However dull the car is, I would probably quite enjoy the interior if I was on acid.

[John F]

I find old, square Volvos dull. I'm sure they're great cars, but they just don't excite me in any way.

[Volksy]

I thought that Volksy might have posted his adequate Toyota on here. However dull the car is, I would probably quite enjoy the interior if I was on acid.

 

Ta Da!

[alfetta]

'96 toyota carina E - the most dull car (short of a volvo 740) I've ever driven. Just wouldn't die even when I forced the auto trans to do nasty things had nearly 300K on the clock...

 

Saab 9000's I quite like - can't really call a tweaked aero dull....even the 9000i drove better IMO than the overrated classic 900

[wuvvum]

Another vote for Toyota Carina E here. It does excactly what it says on the tin, and will probably continue to do so for several hundred thousand miles yet, but excitement levels are nil.

 

Daewoo Leganza is pretty yawn-worthy too - perfectly competent, but no outstanding features at all. Didn't feel as well built as the Toyota either. Kia Magentis was actually quite a giggle though, surprisingly - one of the most uninspiring interiors I've ever sat in, and the exterior is pretty boring too other than a couple of bits of tacky-looking chrome trim, but the V6 version goes like a bat out of hell and for some reason they corner really well too - not the most involving steering, but not as bad as some, and I would imagine a manual one would give some much more overtly sporting cars a run for their money on the right road.

[Pete-M]

Saab 9000's I quite like - can't really call a tweaked aero dull....even the 9000i drove better IMO than the overrated classic 900

 

I don't get 900s either. Wilfully weird without any bonus for being so.

 

Weird really, I don't like the 9000, or the Croma, but I like Themas and 164s. 164 3.0 is a car I've had a few of and I've liked all of 'em.

[pocket.calculator]

The Oxford English Dictionary actually defines dull as:

 

"Any Japanese car manufactured between 1990-2002"

What, all of them? Including (for example) Honda NSX, Mazda MX-5, Nissan 300ZX, Toyota Supra Turbo, Mazda RX-7, Autozam AZ1, Honda Beat, to name a few...?

[Spiny Norman]

I don't get 900s either. Wilfully weird without any bonus for being so.

 

I can understand how someone might not like the old 900, it is a bit of a Marmite car, but never dull.

 

This is the most forgettable tin transportation device I have ever owned, being the Honda engined one it didn't even liven things up by doing kettle impersonations!

 

 

Perfectly decent A-to-B material, but at no time did it ever threaten to entertain, enliven or engage any interest whatsoever.

[DSdriver]

Dull car crosses Pyrenees mountains without being noticed

[Alexg]

Mitsubishi Carisma, ironically

[pocket.calculator]

Dull cars? Virtually all Vauxhalls, most Audis and an awful lot of Peugeots.

[Lacquer Peel]

Dullest thread? This one.

[Six-cylinder]

If you own two of the same Dull cars does that half or double the Dullness factor?

 

[ashmicro]

No K Series in a 600. Honda, T Series or L Series.

[Spiny Norman]

No K Series in a 600. Honda, T Series or L Series.

 

Same thing. My 600 turbo met its maker after blowing the second (new, super-duper improved etc....) HG in as many years, so not dull. And neither was its hugely entertaining torque steer, so it doesn't belong in this thread, but a 618i most definitely doezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[MrDuke]

If you own two of the same Dull cars does that half or double the Dullness factor?

 

 

 

Neither; they cancel out each other's dullness factors while awarding the owner with shite hero bonus points.