Oh no! Not another lottery list!!!

[warren t claim]

Not quite! Every six months or so we come up with a list of the shite we'd buy if we won the Eurosquillions quadruple rollover so for a change I thought it would be more interesting to see the sort of shite we would make if we had unlimited time and budget.

 

Here's some examples.

I'd love to take a late model Escort saloon and turn it into a two door and use a donor Sierra to RWD it and fit a decent 2.0l Zetec motor. Finish it off with a two tone blue paintjob.

 

Lots of people have spent good money putting modern engines into old cars so I'd like to redress the balance and put a Lotus Twink into a mk2 Mondeo.

 

I've always fantasised about how grim and underpowered a Range Rover classic would be with a Perkins Prima turbo lump installed.

 

Let's here yours!

[CYANIDE STEVE]

I've always fantasised about how grim and underpowered a Range Rover classic would be with a Perkins Prima turbo lump installed.

 

Let's here yours!

Well it couldn't be any more gutless than the original 2.4VM engine used to be

 

I'd buy a Rolls Royce a stick and 6.5 litre GM V8 Diesel in it! You won't hear the clock ticking in that one!

[eddyramrod]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/citroen-DS-Special-and-super-5-/120783466929?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item1c1f4

 

This'll do for me! Smooth-headlight DS is just crying out for a Mazda RX8 Wankel, attached to a CVT transmission. And left outwardly as Citroen intended, because even now I think it still looks futuristic. I love whitewalls though, so a set on this would suit me nicely. Paint it black or white, with red interior. Look up "smooth" in the dictionary: there should be a picture of my DS!

Something I said in an earlier thread on a similar theme, and I stand by it, I'd love to do this. I'd also love to have a tax-free Bedford CF van, with a big, properly-set-up V8... and no sign, just looking like any other CF.

[dollywobbler]

I've always fancied combining my love of V8s with my love of 2CVs. I know I'd be disappointed with the results - because I'd have something that looked like a 2CV but drove like a Corvette or something, but if I'd won the lottery, I wouldn't care.

[warren t claim]

 

I'd buy a Rolls Royce a stick and 6.5 litre GM V8 Diesel in it! You won't hear the clock ticking in that one!

 

The true shiters option would be to "dieselise" the RR unit

[sporty-shite]

OK,I know it's a bit formulaic, but Mk1 Fiesta Ghia, outwardly standard except for minor lowering and slightly larger OEM wheels, 2.0 zetec, mildly breathed on. C U L8R Saxo boi!

 

Secondly, Cosworth powered Lotus 7-a-like kit. Suitably scruffy and careworn, but with everything mechanically tip-top. Ridiculously fast!

 

There will be others, but that'll do for now.

[hairnet]

warren tee

 

if i won the lottery id be heading for argentina and buying the ones they make out there

 

anad the vw that is the spit of an avenger

 

and drive them to texas and ship back

[meggersdog]

I'd like to buy a Bentley and stick Chrysler 300c badges all over it.

[Craig the Princess]

I'd like to buy a Bentley and stick Chrysler 300c badges all over it.

 

 

At least it's not making an Audi TT look like a Rover Metro.

[gallondrunk]

I would find a povvo spec Hyundai Atos and shoehorn the largest turbocharged engine I could find into it. Otherwise leave it utterly stock.

 

I would also put a v6 Cav engine into a Daewoo Nexia saloon.

[mk1_4dr]

If I'd won loads of money the first thing I'd do tomorrow is go buy something rediculous.

Something American, 4dr and packing a pre-smog V8.

 

Then, obviously, escRot would be booked into the most sympathetic bodyshop I can find to be pulled straight, before being returned to me to shoehorn something interesting under the bonnet. I always fancied trying an RST lump in it utilising an 1800 CVH Sierra gearbox, just to be different.

 

Then I'd be out and about looking for an minty early 3dr Rangie and the lump from a recentish 530D.

Mmm, lovely torque.

 

Ofcourse, I'd then start buying cars just for fun or their rariety. That half restored Tagora on eBay would be purchased pretty sharpish for instance.

 

I would need a big, kitted out unit to keep them all in, and I dare say I'd end up living there too.

[Father Ted]

Well, I'd quite like to take the wifes C8 somewhere and rip out all the French electric and electronics and have everything replaced with solid state components and wires made out of something other than cheesium.

 

Then for my car, it would be a late BX with 2.0 HDi ( the 90BHP is fine), Activa suspension fitted with 16v spheres, leather seats all round, heated seats and a 4x4 system from the Pug Dangel. It wouldnt be blisteringly quick, but it would suit me down to the ground.

[CYANIDE STEVE]

 

I'd buy a Rolls Royce a stick and 6.5 litre GM V8 Diesel in it! You won't hear the clock ticking in that one!

 

The true shiters option would be to "dieselise" the RR unit

 

 

Some bugger's beaten me to it!!!!

[Justin Case]

I would buy a Ferrari 355 and fit a Pontiac Fiero bodykit.

[Father Ted]

 

I'd buy a Rolls Royce a stick and 6.5 litre GM V8 Diesel in it! You won't hear the clock ticking in that one!

 

The true shiters option would be to "dieselise" the RR unit

 

 

Some bugger's beaten me to it!!!!

 

 

I can do these things because I smoke a PIPE.

[John F]

I'd buy a Citroen Xsara Picasso and see how flat I could hammer it.

[CYANIDE STEVE]

I'd buy a Citroen Xsara Picasso and see how flat I could hammer it.

Well done!

Can I help? Bloody ugly things!

[eddyramrod]

It wouldnt be blisteringly quick, but it would suit me down to the ground.

 

And with that kind of money available, that last is the only consideration that matters!

[freebird]

Jensen Interceptor. Any V8 model will do.

Im happy to masturbate over anything in tip top condition.

[John F]

I'd buy a Citroen Xsara Picasso and see how flat I could hammer it.

Well done!

Can I help? Bloody ugly things!

 

Absolutely! In fact, since we're talking about a lottery win here I'd buy you one of your very own, and a selection of hammers

[CYANIDE STEVE]

How Generous!

[SambaS]

I'd definately build my orange mid engined V8 Polonez that I dreampt up in primary school.

[ProgRocker]

A bit unoriginal but I'd buy an old DS like this one and get a specialist to get it ship shape:

DS

[SambaS]

This Lada is inspiring

[eddyramrod]

For any of the build work, I think job number one would be to engage the services on an exclusive basis of either Edd China or Chip Foose, whichever costs less. And if it's Chip, listen up buddy: NO FUCKING 18" WHEELS WITH ELASTIC-BAND TYRES, OK?

[Formula Autos]

If a mega-bucks Euro Million win came my way I'd be tempted to go even further than building my own supershite. I'd try and put supershite into production, with my own company - AS Motors.

 

The plan would involve getting the tooling for the Maestro from whatever corner of the planet it ended up in and 'doing a Ledbury'.

 

I would go further though, and so that the buggers lasted forever I'd have the shells galvanised and Dinitrol'd, and have the front wings, bonnet and tailgate knocked up in GRP. They would probably need ABS, airbags and daytime running lights fitting to make them legal for sale. I'd probably even concede that side impact bars might be a necessity in this "will somebody please think of the children?" age.

 

Engines might be a problem, what with emissions and what-not - especially on the Pez version. Time to wheel out the K-series then - though with the updates that Land Rover fitted to prevent HGF. The diesel (Perkins) version (in turbo and non-turbo form) would be left untouched if possible.

 

If legally possible, I'd like to produce a sporty version with a VVC K-series in it, and maybe even call it the "ST", after BL's Special Tuning division, and give it the old MG Maestro Turbo bodykit. Though Ford would no doubt object - thus providing invaluable free publicity.

 

The luxury version would see a return of the talking dashboard, this time linked to a built-in Sat-Nav. Probably voiced by Les Dennis. Or maybe even Bobby Davro. They could throw in their hilarious "impressions" too - such as Les's world famous Mavis Riley impression ("ooh, I don't really knooow!") which would kick in when the Sat-Nav loses its satellite connection, for instance.

 

The Clubman spec would also make a re-appearance (though BMW seem to own that name, so I'd have to think of something else - maybe 'Value'? Though not before another publicity fest of a legal threat from Bavaria), and would be a replica of the spec 'enjoyed' by that miserable bastard seen in "From AtoB, Tales of Modern Motoring". Only without even wheeltrims. Just black steelies. It would be marketed directly at fleets, on the off-chance that he hadn't retired yet and may be allocated another Maestro.

 

Colour choice would be White, Beige, Teal, Orange and Brown. Silver would not be offered. The only metallic option would be Reynard.

 

I reckon it could probably be done for around the price of an Aygo as well.

 

Market this as 'retro', 'sustainable' and British and it might, just might, sell. Then again, it would still be a Maestro, so maybe not.

 

Oh, and as all low volume British car makers are expected to churn out fibreglass bodied sportscars I'd half-heartedly churn out a few Scimitar SS1s as well, with quality control handled by ex-Renault employees. Then the car magazines could trot out all the usual guff about such things being great to drive but a nightmare to own, and leave me to happily churn out Maestros.

[cms206]

^^ made me grin manically. Put me down for one of the early prototypes, if possibly a mildly breathed on 1.4 16v K-series powered example with vinyl seats.

 

 

Lottery list for me at the moment would involve a Cummins 6BT powered Defender 90 for going to the shops in, a Cummins 6BT powered LDV Convoy for going to the tip in and an absolutely fuckered ex BT Transit Di dropside with greedyboards, overloaded with dead white goods and old car bonnets, purely to annoy the neighbours.

 

I'd also have a swanky house in a posh neighbourhood, then live in a static caravan in the front garden whilst needlessly burning pallets of phonebooks.

[John F]

Made me grin too, despite Maestros being high up on the list of cars I'd like to hammer flat after I've finished with the execrable Picasso.

 

In which case, put me down for a Clubman / 'Value'

[eddyramrod]

I think we have a winner! FA, brill idea. Put me down for a K-powered van please.

[barrett]

I spend 99% of my time building my dream cars in my head, though none of them would need a lottery win to make them a reality and I plan to build most of them eventually. Don't hold your breath though.

 

Something I decided I wanted to do last night fits in here I think. I'd take one of these

 

A 2dr Triumph Toledo, a much nicer shape than the 4dr but a little bland. Then I'd replace the entire front end sheet metal with this:

 

An FWD 1300 (not omg satin blak ratluk punk etc) which has a much better looking front end than any of the RWD cars. Then I'd chuck in the entire engine and running gear from a Dolomite Sprint, paint it a nice period bluey-grey colour, some nice wheels (not decided exactly what yet, it it wont be Sprint alloys) and cruise about upsetting the purists

 

Something that I'd love to do but probably would need some of Camelot's money behind it is to build a replica of one of these

Ogle 1.5, one of my all-time dream cars. Out of the tiny handful they made (8, iirc) there are only 2 survivors, so chances of me getting my hands on one is pretty slim. It would be a 100% faithful replica of the original down to the smallest detail, because frankly there is nothing that needs changing on it really.

 

Of course, given that I'd have to have a set of body moulds made, I could then knock out as many as I wanted, so I'd probably do another one in the style of a 1960s circuit racer, a fast one with a Fiat twin-cam etc....