Range Rover Evoque.....thoughts???

[retrogeezer]

There has been one of these parked down my road for a week or so and I didn't think anything of it but just heard they were not on sale until next week.

My thoughts were that it is not very big and that one of those new 'big' minis is bigger!!

 

 

[Shep Shepherd]

The glasshouse looks awfully small...

[dollywobbler]

Saw one on test here in the Welsh mountains earlier in the year. First thought was "F*ck me that's wide!" We were on a very narrow bit of road at the time.

 

As a 'proper' Range Rover owner, it does seem about as appropriate as the new MINI. A fine chance to piss on a great heritage in a bid to sell cars to estate agents. Mind you, they'll need the property market to perk up a bit. Aren't they about £40k?

 

On the other hand, when people are starting to think twice about buying huge gas guzzlers, Land Rover probably do need to review their model line-up a bit.

[retrogeezer]

Yeh, very high waistline and very low roof line, looks like the visor on a crash helmet!

 

Love the way the owner leaves it in the road while putting his 97 Pug 106 on the drive!

[AnthonyG]

What Car seems to regard them as a family hatchback, despite prices starting at £28k...

[Tonka]

Lets hope reliability is built into this new model, hang on, No, lets hope it isn't I want to keep my job for at least another 10 years......

 

Even the invoices we receive from Land Rover now have Range Rover on them as they try to become two distinct "brands".

 

Range Rover is no longer a model it's a range of different vehicles, amongst the LR fraternity the Evoque has received good reviews, BMW have made a mint out of the MIni concept so Jaguar/Land Rover/Tata might as well cash in on another famous name.

 

Still won't make me buy one..............

[eddyramrod]

My most printable thought on that thing is: eeeeew! I think it looks like one of Judge Dredd's gloves after it's been trampled by a marauding dragon.

[Guest]

It looks fucking shit.

 

Predictably, WAT_FATHER wants to buy one when he retires. This is the man who once owned an orange Datsun 180B. Where did it all go so wrong?

 

Also, a very good mate of mine was involved in the component buy and final sign off of the Evoque. Previously, he worked on the four wheel drive system for the X Type. Square as you like.

[Pete-M]

I quite like 'em, there have been a lot of them around here for quite a while now. Halewood seem to have spent a lot of time thrashing them over urban speed bumps - I've seen them on trade plates for about four months regularly.

 

They're a bit weird, but the looks have grown on me. I do like the front end of the toppermost models. Some of them appear to be rather nippy buggers too.

 

When they're in the bargain basement I'd give one a go. As long as it's the fastest one, 4wd, and with a towbar.

[Tayne]

On the minus side;

Poshed up Freelander, four cylinder engine, some are 2wd, small glasshouse, very expensive.

 

On the plus side;

I like the the looks, LR needs to be seen to be selling fuel efficient cars, it'll bring new people to the brand (even if they are the type who value Victoria Beckham's opinion), it'll bring down the average fuel consumption for the range.

 

I'd not buy one new (but then I'm not dropping £90k on a full size RR either) but wouldn't object to one in the household further down the line.

[retrogeezer]

[Tayne]

Be-winged 101 by Tayne, on Flickr

[John F]

The Evoque is not liked at all on Landy Zone, which is no surprise since it's based on a Freelander (ownership of which, according to LZ, is an open admission of being an avid cock smoker) and this is in turn based on a Mondeo floorpan. Apparently. I can't be bothered to check.

 

And I have to agree with the LZ consensus. With its minute greenouse and enormous plastic bumpers that would shred expensively at the first sign of lumpy terrain, the Evoque is clearly not going to see much use as an off-roader – especially, and I actually laughed when I heard about this, in 2wd form.

 

Moreover, its ludicrous width - almost 20 cm wider than a Range Rover Classic, ffs! - ensures that it wouldn't fit e.g. through any of the gates that I passed through whilst green laning in my Discovery yesterday, itself the same width as an old Range Rover classic. And even if it does find an owner brave or dim enough to take their Evoque off-road, it'll undoubtedly be full of the same sort of fragile and/or poorly-located electronics that fucked up the TD5 Discos and P38 Range Rovers.

 

So, given that it probably won't be used off-road by the overwhelming majority of its purchasers, what's the point of it?

 

Some people will still buy it, though. Because they're TWATS.

[garethj]

it'll bring down the average fuel consumption for the range.

This. A friend works at Jaguar LandRover and he told me the size of the fine they were facing in the US for their cross-range fuel consumption figures. It was so terrifying I forgot it immediately.

 

As for the appearance, I've already had several rants on thuggish appearance of cars; this one's basically got a bald head, a large tattoo on its leg and union jack shorts. When you leave the key in the ignition, there's probably a synthesised voice which says "did you spill my fucking pint?"

 

However the vast majority of motoring public disagrees with me and I know the company is hoping it'll be their version of the MINI. Unfortunately times have changed and not everyone's got a thousands of pounds to take out of their house equity any more - not Land Rover's fault. Perhaps people are so stupid they'll still keep buying cars on tick even though they're already in horrific debt

[Negative Creep]

They consulted Victoria Beckhah. Enough said.

[Tayne]

They consulted Victoria Beckhah. Enough said.

 

She didn't have any meaningful input, it was all production ready by the time she came onboard.

[Station]

Ideal for those rancid looking 'grown up chavs' that run their dad's scrap yard.

Do they include a 'Tap Out/MMA/UFC' t-shirt with every purchase?

Everybody knows what type of person this is being marketed towards.

[scooters]

Ideal for those rancid looking 'grown up chavs' that run their dad's scrap yard.

Do they include a 'Tap Out/MMA/UFC' t-shirt with every purchase?

Everybody knows what type of person this is being marketed towards.

 

 

could that be the type of person who considers that scrawny bint Mrs Beckham 'posh' rather than a vapid personification of te materialistic malaise at the heart of our vain society of petty accumulation of utter crap (and debt?)

 

The ower gets zilch rspect from me even though he as an excellent 106 on is drive...BTW the reason why the 106 is on his drive and that pile of rancid monkey jizz is sat on the road is that the pile of racid monkeyjizz won't fit through the gateposts of his drive.

 

 

A saw one on the M90 yesterday and had an amusing time tailgating him in my 200 quid 306 all the way up Halbeath hill before filling his air vents with a blast of soot by revving the engine when I eventiually under took him and showed him a clean pair of heels (and the rusty boot and missing rear screen wiper) to the top.

[ashmicro]

I'n not all that keen, but I hope they shift loads. There are a lot of British jobs at stake. Also, I believe it was Henry Ford who said "find out what they want, and give them plenty of it".

[scooters]

There are a lot of British jobs at stake.

 

good point - even more reason to give new X1/X3 drivers stick!

[barefoot]

I have a disturbing hatred of all soft roader things.

 

It started when parked next to a Q7 driven by the worlds biggest cock.

All the gear - low waist sloppy jeans,

No idea - pulled right up his fucking arse crack & belted tight!

 

Its too big for what it is,

& they'll be etc. etc.

[overheadvalve]

it'll bring down the average fuel consumption for the range.

This. A friend works at Jaguar LandRover and he told me the size of the fine they were facing in the US for their cross-range fuel consumption figures. It was so terrifying I forgot it immediately.

 

As for the appearance, I've already had several rants on thuggish appearance of cars; this one's basically got a bald head, a large tattoo on its leg and union jack shorts. When you leave the key in the ignition, there's probably a synthesised voice which says "did you spill my fucking pint?"

 

However the vast majority of motoring public disagrees with me and I know the company is hoping it'll be their version of the MINI. Unfortunately times have changed and not everyone's got a thousands of pounds to take out of their house equity any more - not Land Rover's fault. Perhaps people are so stupid they'll still keep buying cars on tick even though they're already in horrific debt

 

This/\ /\ First paragraph ( times 2) and the fact that i want JLR to not just survive but to put a big fuck of you wankers dent in the sales of BMW and Ford. Why? Well BMW seem to have looked them over and said, nah we won't bother (at best) or they pilfered what they could get and put it into the X funf etc,

I have no proof but i very much doubt in all honesty if anyone has the reverse ie proof that they didn't, never mind what Piech or whatever his name is has said to the press, which is complete bollocks 99% of the time anyway.

As for Ford, in my opinion they had at least arguably the best line up of marque names when they had JLR and Aston Martin and what did they do? they bottled it. I can just imagine someone at a board meeting saying...i know lets ditch the premium stuff which we know little about and concentrate on the general stuff which we know we are good (shit also) at. To hell with them.

Land Rover need to make a success of this, and why not two wheel drive becuause it's not Land Rover? To compete with the tossers at Nissan, Renner at al because Nissan seem to be selling a shite load of those (ultrashite) quashqui things and frankly all i hear are problems with them breaking down.

As for the redneck brigade, well what would anyone expect? The car is really maketed to sell mainly in the states where it will bring the co2 costs down! Has anyone any idea how much BMW and Mercedes will have to pay the US government in this new type of tax this year? I can't be arsed looking, Good on 'em and i hope they sell a million in the first year, which they won't .

Victoria Beckham? that's just a newspaper thing to get people talking, any press etc etc. She was consulted means someone talked to her, not that anything she said made any sense.......

[dollywobbler]

That's all fair point. This is actually a British built car and therefore I may have to wish it success. While the 4x2 is a bit pointless for someone like me who actually likes to off-road, it's worth remembering that a 4x4 Evoque is probably pretty handy in the mucky stuff. This can't be said of all soft-roaders.

 

Personally though, I'm saddened to hear that the Defender is going to be axed in 2015. This is Land Rover's biggest challenge I think. How do you replace what is probably the most simple vehicle on the market? (yes, I know it's got electrickery in it these days, but you've still got beam axles, a steel front bumper and bolt-on panels!).

[Lord Sterling]

Personally I dont give a fuck about it. When I heard about them using Posh Beckhams whatever for consultation my reaction was pretty much along the lines of - wtf? Are you serious? ffs whatever next? etc........

 

Being a British built car I do wish it success obviously but as has been said before, I cant help thinking this car seems to be marketed solely at daft wags and estate agents with £50 haircuts, though I guess you gotta have a target audience.

[John F]

...it's worth remembering that a 4x4 Evoque is probably pretty handy in the mucky stuff.

 

It might be, if you camel-cut those enormous rock-snagging bumpers, fit a minimum 2" lift kit to it, disregard the squillion quid depreciation that'll decimate values when the next 'New Money' must-have fashion accessory comes out and are thick-skinned enough to ignore the hairdresser jibes from sensible people in Series / Defenders / Discos that know better than to wear their dancing shoes when playing in the mud, hehe.

 

But I suppose those stupid windows mean that you won't actually see the gate you can't pass through / track you can't fit down

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

On the British jobs thing- are we totally sure that, assuming enough people have enough money to burn buying this awful thing, the jobs will stay British, or will they go 'well, the demand has been spectacular and our Solihull plant can no longer cope with it (since we only have a single shift working the line) , so we're building a new one in Amritsar and another in Kosice'?

[warren t claim]

 

 

Sorry for the Prickheads pictures.

[Rover414]

On the British jobs thing- are we totally sure that, assuming enough people have enough money to burn buying this awful thing, the jobs will stay British, or will they go 'well, the demand has been spectacular and our Solihull plant can no longer cope with it (since we only have a single shift working the line) , so we're building a new one in Amritsar and another in Kosice'?

 

That's fine and dandy, but last time I checked the Evoque is being made in Halewood and not Solihull, from what I've been told the site was chosen to help retain all these jobs following the X-Type going out of production, which Halewood produced for 8 years and the factory is currently tailored for the Evoque production.

 

Personally I don't like it, I think it looks awkward. If it keeps Halewood going then great, but I wish some people would stop going on about it like it must be liked because its made in England. I hate all Chelsea tractors equally.

[tooSavvy]

Seen this missie 'in the raw', as my employer provides the Cashless Vending at the LR, Halewood Plant, & I have been in the plant recently, all over it in fact!!

 

They look awffy 'stunted/squashed'.... like the ratio of wheelarch to window is thru a shaving mirror...

 

All LHD that I saw down the line... going to our cousins over the 'herring pond', perhaps...or the Gulf

 

tooSavvy

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

That's fine and dandy, but last time I checked the Evoque is being made in Halewood and not Solihull, from what I've been told the site was chosen to help retain all these jobs following the X-Type going out of production, which Halewood produced for 8 years and the factory is currently tailored for the Evoque production.

 

Fair point. Substitute 'Solihull' with 'Halewood' .