Cars I don't "get". Add yours!

[fordnut]

I'm livid to say the least about the decsion not to produce a 3dr version Pete. The new Focus is great although I thought the MK7 Fiesta was ugly when it first came out but the new Fords always seem to grow on you. I'd definetely go for the new ST in 2012 (have a total one-off 3dr atm) but there is no way I will even entertain buying one in 5dr form, if the estate were a 3dr as per the MK4 Escort Combi it would be great.

 

I can buy a C30, A3, Golf, Astra, Megane, and 1 Series in 3dr format so Ford are seriously shooting themselves in the foot. As my business is Ford related I only run Fords in the fleet, so my money will be staying in my pocket for the time being.

[cobblers]

 

This as well.

 

I've got family in santa cruz, california, and these piles of shit were 3 years ago (without any exaggeration) 10% of the cars on the road. It's got worse since, and they are all bought by people to show off their SUPER ECO GREEN ness, without any kind of shame.

 

The bloke next door to my uncle on the left has one of those for his wife (who has "driving phobia" and drives 300 yards to drop the kids off at school, but daren't go any further. He drives a suburban with the usual huge v8 jobbie in. It's about as long as a coach, but he drives it to work every day and moans about how it does 8mpg, which costs him less than driving a 1.8 mx5 the same distance over here.

 

The family on the other side have THREE pruisssses, but there are only two people over the age of 9. They have one each to drive to work, and a third with child seats fitted to take the kids places. There are idiots in the UK, but america makes us look good.

[Guest]

1. VW Golf Mk3 - 6.

 

I appear to have missed something with the 'Just like A' series. Could someone please explain to me why so many people swoon over them? What makes them so special? I really struggle to understand the appeal, especially when owners bore you to death about how 'reliable' they are. 'Eeh, I 'ad a Golf, it were great, it only ever needed a 20 p window seal and I ran it for two years on a thimble - full o' piss'. Every Golf I've encountered has been a frangible piece of shit, and if you include the Mk3, rusty as sin too.

 

2. Mazda MX-5

 

Perhaps it's more the 'I've got a true sportscar you ignorant pleb' mentality of the owners rather than the car itself. It baffles me how they all think they've got a 'Lotus Elan', when they haven't - what they've got is a Mazda MX-5. Insert two hundred thousand worn out cliches including summer evenings, 'back road blasts' and 'perfect handling' blah blah bling bollocks blah. All I can see is a silly little car that rusts quicker than it can accelerate. Again, perhaps I need to try a good one to be put right. See also : How To Upset An NSJC Member Personally Because He Misinterprets Your Comments So Strangely It's Painful.

 

3. Range Rover Sport

 

Ugly as fuck, very WAG and specialists in blinding people on country lanes because of their self adjusting nuclear xenons that don't. Fuck off.

[Tayne]

Sports off-roaders.

 

If you want a sports car, buy an Elise.

If you want a fast loadlugger then buy an RS6 Avant or an M5 Touring.

 

But why get a tall heavy 4x4 with floppy suspension and drop in a huge engine and then have to throw money and weight at stopping it killing you?

 

I'm looking at you Cayenne, X5, X6, RRS et al.

[scaryoldcortina]

almost 4 years and I *still* don't get it.

[cobblers]

1. VW Golf Mk3 - 6.

I've always liked mk1 golfs "COZ THEY ARE COOL" but recently ended up with a mk2 gti for cheap which is actually a nice car to drive. mk3 golf is just a bigger, more heavy, rusty and wank mk2. mk4 is horrible in every way and after that I've just ignored them

 

2. Mazda MX-5

I also have one of these, and the owners of them are mainly idiots. Mine is one of the more powerful ones and even so it is far from being what I would call fast. Handling as standard was more wallowy than a 1.1 mk3 fiesta, but I bet a goodun is pretty decent. They are nice enough but not the miracle motor that some fanboys claim they are

[Guest]

 

2. Mazda MX-5

I also have one of these, and the owners of them are mainly idiots. Mine is one of the more powerful ones and even so it is far from being what I would call fast. Handling as standard was more wallowy than a 1.1 mk3 fiesta, but I bet a goodun is pretty decent. They are nice enough but not the miracle motor that some fanboys claim they are

 

Holy shit. An MX-5 owner that didn't take my comments personally and resort to calling me a wanker via PM! I doff my cap to thee cobblers, you appreciate other people's points of view.

[meggersdog]

 

2. Mazda MX-5

I also have one of these, and the owners of them are mainly idiots. Mine is one of the more powerful ones and even so it is far from being what I would call fast. Handling as standard was more wallowy than a 1.1 mk3 fiesta, but I bet a goodun is pretty decent. They are nice enough but not the miracle motor that some fanboys claim they are

 

Holy shit. An MX-5 owner that didn't take my comments personally and resort to calling me a wanker via PM! I doff my cap to thee cobblers, you appreciate other people's points of view.

 

 

I've got a Mk2 MX-5 at the moment.It's ok but nothing special infact I rate the MGF I had before a far better "sports"car.The HGF felt quicker,sounded better and handled just as well.

[Shep Shepherd]

Volvo C30:

 

 

Worst. Volvo. Ever.

[messerschmitt owner]

Smarts bother me a lot. I want to love them, but can't quite. I'd quite like to try the one that someone fitted a Mini engine/transmission to. A Cooper-tune Smart should be a laugh, and you get a proper gearbox!

Ferrina's car - it was shit! He made it and and even he said so!

 

You want Pam Gazey's MR2-powered version!

 

I can understand not liking smarts - they're over-priced, encourage w*nky owners, have a crap gearbox that takes some getting used to, plus the new ones aren't as frugal as you'd expect.

 

It is just a car, but it serves its purpose - and I really like the roadster - but then again I've driven so much shit in my time that I can forgive its faults for the fun drive you get from it. IT feels fast, even though it isn't - and that's part of the fun - you can drive like a tit and still be legal.

[barefoot]

I like Figaro's, Ka's, MX-5's and air-cooled VW's.

 

I don't like people carriers, surely all cars are people carriers, it's their raison d'etre

And I particularly despise the current crop of huge 4X4 Range Rover type things,

The Audi Q7 if you look closely is not a car, it is a small lorry.

I would like to organize protest groups of people to stand waiting at pedestrian crossings & when one of these bastards pulled up I'd have 50 people burst out laughing & pointing jeering etc

[forddeliveryboy]

 

 

Not only did neither of these cars drive well, they were as unreliable, poorly made and cynical as the rest of the Ford crop of the 80s. By 60,000 miles they felt like they'd been to the moon and back - at the end of a day driving them around my Dad's old Saab felt like a brand new car, even with 170-odd thousand miles on the clock.

[sprig]

any hybrid, not forgetting the shite honda insight. As driven by the vicar local to me, probably thinks he's doing his bit....

 

[wuvvum]

I actually quite like the original Insight. Kinda looks like one of those "Car of the year 2000" drawings you used to get in mid-'80s car books.

[gtd2000]

almost 4 years and I *still* don't get it.

 

Number plate was so close...

 

[ProgRocker]

Never seen the point of this when SEAT already had the Altea:

 

 

Would have preferred it if it was a 3-box saloon like the previous Toledo. At least there is the Exeo now.

[M'coli]

any hybrid, not forgetting the shite honda insight. As driven by the vicar local to me, probably thinks he's doing his bit....

 

I like these. I think it was Honda's feasibility study of whether they could sell a hybrid or not, and it's the correct shape - and I love the rear wheel spats too.

[richardthestag]

Smarts bother me a lot. I want to love them, but can't quite. I'd quite like to try the one that someone fitted a Mini engine/transmission to. A Cooper-tune Smart should be a laugh, and you get a proper gearbox!

 

And the 3 pot smart engine is normally completely fucked by about 50,000 miles. Boat anchor territory for them. Another mega green car with shite credientials

 

I laugh out loud and point at these \/ things like they are Barryboy specials

 

 

What is the point?

 

I also hate the Pious, hateful pile of shit bastard spawn of satan. Santimonious twats wanna travel green? walk!

[messerschmitt owner]

Smarts bother me a lot. I want to love them, but can't quite. I'd quite like to try the one that someone fitted a Mini engine/transmission to. A Cooper-tune Smart should be a laugh, and you get a proper gearbox!

 

And the 3 pot smart engine is normally completely fucked by about 50,000 miles. Boat anchor territory for them. Another mega green car with shite credientials

my 3-pot smart engine is up at 80k, I know lots at 100k without rebuilds. Smart engines are very stressed, the design is a bit rubbish and they don't like any kind of lack of servicing. My schmitt engine had fallen apart by 25k miles - and in the old days engines needed decoked every 12000 miles or so. Being a tiny engine, it doesn't stand up to any kind of abuse - which lots of people who buy 'green' cars seem to be good at.

 

It seems that the smart engine is like a two-stroke, or even a 2cv engine, you need to thrash it to get the best mileage out of one - they don't like a lack of servicing or a light foot! However, a proper rebuild on a smart engine, by a garage that knows what it is doing, doesn't cost more than a grand - that's cheaper than an ecu for a Mercedes!

 

Oh, I love the Insight - but hate the Pious!

 

Cars I consider to be a waste of time, money and effort is anything that has a huge engine, runs on petrol and does less than 20mpg on a continuous basis.

 

Why?

 

That said, there is no substitute for cubic capacity!

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

any hybrid, not forgetting the shite honda insight. As driven by the vicar local to me, probably thinks he's doing his bit....

I like these. I think it was Honda's feasibility study of whether they could sell a hybrid or not, and it's the correct shape - and I love the rear wheel spats too.

 

The Honda Insight is really efficient too, unlike most hybrids - up to 90mpg is possible.

[M'coli]

any hybrid, not forgetting the shite honda insight. As driven by the vicar local to me, probably thinks he's doing his bit....

I like these. I think it was Honda's feasibility study of whether they could sell a hybrid or not, and it's the correct shape - and I love the rear wheel spats too.

 

The Honda Insight is really efficient too, unlike most hybrids - up to 90mpg is possible.

Indeed! It's a shame that no-one seems to do an LPG conversion for them.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

I'm sure it could be arranged, the Septics do all kinds of crazy stuff to Insights like fitting turbochargers

[ChinaTom]

I have never managed to think of one reason why anybody ever looked at a Mitsubishi Spacestar and thought - "ooo, that's just what I need".

[flat4alfa]

Anything with a CVH

[Angrydicky]

Nissan Joke. What a hateful, disgusting fugly little turd.

 

Any 'sporty' 4x4 designed purely as style icons for wannabe WAGS, so X6, RR Evoque, RR Sport, Audi Q7, etc.

[richardthestag]

Smarts bother me a lot. I want to love them, but can't quite. I'd quite like to try the one that someone fitted a Mini engine/transmission to. A Cooper-tune Smart should be a laugh, and you get a proper gearbox!

 

And the 3 pot smart engine is normally completely fucked by about 50,000 miles. Boat anchor territory for them. Another mega green car with shite credientials

my 3-pot smart engine is up at 80k, I know lots at 100k without rebuilds. Smart engines are very stressed, the design is a bit rubbish and they don't like any kind of lack of servicing. My schmitt engine had fallen apart by 25k miles - and in the old days engines needed decoked every 12000 miles or so. Being a tiny engine, it doesn't stand up to any kind of abuse - which lots of people who buy 'green' cars seem to be good at.

 

It seems that the smart engine is like a two-stroke, or even a 2cv engine, you need to thrash it to get the best mileage out of one - they don't like a lack of servicing or a light foot! However, a proper rebuild on a smart engine, by a garage that knows what it is doing, doesn't cost more than a grand - that's cheaper than an ecu for a Mercedes!

 

 

Abuse = driving with a light foot

 

I know what you are saying though and agree. my mum had a smart for2 and sis had a roadster. servicing on both was criminally expensive and this coupled with a 48k engine grenading itself when serviced regardless of cost was the last straw. I did some research on the interweb and it seems there are a lot of smart owners fitting recon engines at around the 50-60k mark. Maybe thrashing the little buggers is the way forwards

 

Cars I consider to be a waste of time, money and effort is anything that has a huge engine, runs on petrol and does less than 20mpg on a continuous basis.

 

Why?

 

That said, there is no substitute for cubic capacity!

 

Retorical question

 

My daily smoker Range Rover Classic has never done better than 17mpg on a long run (on LPG) and on petrol I doubt it would do anything better than low 20's on a run. BUT it is almost depreciation resistant over the last 4 years / 70k miles. I paid 3.5k for it and a chap at the pumps offered me 3k which normally I would jump at but i like driving it too much and to find another "correct" RRC would take me too much time and effort.

[sprig]

any hybrid, not forgetting the shite honda insight. As driven by the vicar local to me, probably thinks he's doing his bit....

I like these. I think it was Honda's feasibility study of whether they could sell a hybrid or not, and it's the correct shape - and I love the rear wheel spats too.

 

The Honda Insight is really efficient too, unlike most hybrids - up to 90mpg is possible.

 

I want to like it & it's stats measure up nicely - 85mpg on a 40 litre tank (over 700 miles without stopping) a nippy 69bhp 3-cylinder 1.0l engine which will crack 62mph in around 11 secs with the help of the 10kw motor which considering it's long economy biased gear ratios (over 70mph in 2nd…) ain't bad. But even with It's aluminium build weighing in at just 820kg & it's cheap/free tax it's still not selling it to me as all this doesn't out weigh the mocking which would ensue from friends & family as a result of me driving this hybrid. I think it's the styling I'm not overly keen on either, a bit to modern for me, particularly the back end its a bit jetsonesque trying to be a bit "futuristic" if you know what I mean??

 

Though I did read that with the correct tyre choice, apparently the bridgestone B391 some owners have reported a return of 120mpg which can't be sniffed at.....

[oldford]

 

Capri 1.6 Laser, I had a bit of a traffic light grand prix with a 1.1 Fiesta whilst driving one of those and it could have been quite possibly that very one photographed. The Fiesta quite convincingly won, despite the fact that both cars were driven like they were rental cars, hold on, they were rental cars.

 

I think that I saw that one at a show some years back.

[MK5 Escort]

I don’t 'get' Morris Minor’s either. The British Beetle. They leave me all feeling cold. Actually, the old VW Beetle and it's retained popularity in some circles. There's another one which leaves me asking "Why?". Horrible, rattly, unbelievably noisy, sluggish and odd looking things. It's a similar story with the old VW Type 2 Camper. Not in terms of looks, but air cooled engines? No thanks. They just don't float my boat at all.

 

BMW Minis? No thanks. The same goes for most BMW’s. Particularly Chris Bangle’s blind efforts. I didn’t like them when they were new and I still think they’re ugly, bloated looking things now.

 

Any of these imported Jap MPV and 4x4 things with masses of chrome, added mirrors, different lights e.t.c... Similar to British models but even less appealing and some come with strange names. How they sell so well I'll never know. The appeal of these monstrosities just go right over my head entirely.

 

Yes, five seat MPV’s such as the original Ford C Max. What exactly is the point? Sticking to Fords, pretty much any of them built over the last seven/eight years. Very overrated in most aspects in my opinion and the dealers are worse than abysmal these days when it comes to both service and customer care from my own experiences in my last job. Particularly the latter. Oh yes, TDCi engines - horrible rattly and smoky lumps. Injectors tend to be the weak point of these, as well as being eye wateringly expensive to replace.

 

Anything involving an electric motor. Just a quick and very expensive, complicated step to hydrogen power if you ask me.

 

I've never understood the popularity and regular appraisal of the MK2 Cavalier or Astra either.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Japanese cars. Why would you bother? What does a Neesan, Honda or Toyota do better than a (much cheaper) Hyundai or Kia?

 

Golfs are okay, but only the Mark 5/6. The Mark 5 was a very good car and the Mark 6 is simply superb. The Mark 4 is a nasty wanker chariot with shit handling, normally driven by drug dealing scum and riding on Audi rimz. They're shit. Mark 1/2 are a bit too 'scene' now and the Mark 3 was a turd.

 

Anyone noticed that most of those Toyota Pious shitheaps are driven at 90+ on the motorway?