Lesser spotted idiot

[The Moog]

Right just cleaning out the Audi to sell and I have locked the keys in the car. The boot blew shut and the rest of the car was locked.

 

I have only got the one key which I can see teasing me in side.

 

Anyone got any tips on how to get it the cheapest and quickest way?

 

its a 1994 Audi 100 Avant

[wuvvum]

 

Quick, and very cheap (or even free if you nick one from a building site)

[meggersdog]

know anyone who's got one of these http://www.lockpicks.com/completecardoo ... gekit.aspx

[simmo]

Hi I have some old keys if you want to try them I'm in Hayes up by Kingshill, where are you?

I'll PM you my number, I'll be home from work soon

[Mr Lobster]

If you are an AA / RAC member, ring them. They will come out and do it.

[Lankytim]

Do they use the old pnumatic system the older Audis have? Maybe the old half a tennis ball trick over a lock may work*

 

*there are no verifyable instances of this working.. ever..

[The Moog]

Going to try Simmo's old keys first. I am not AA or RAC so that is out. Either a locksmith or alternatively the brick suggestion followed by insurance company for window replacement. Cant find anywhere that sells glass as I suspect it might be cheaper to replace the glass myself.

[The Moog]

Simmo is a legend Keys didnt work but with a few cable ties and a lot of precision got the car open. Phew...

[ashmicro]

Nice one Simmo!

[Guest EccentricRichard]

Do they use the old pnumatic system the older Audis have? Maybe the old half a tennis ball trick over a lock may work*

 

*there are no verifyable instances of this working.. ever..

 

Worked on our old E30.

[scaryoldcortina]

Do they use the old pnumatic system the older Audis have? Maybe the old half a tennis ball trick over a lock may work*

 

*there are no verifyable instances of this working.. ever..

 

Worked on our old E30.

 

Sure about that? Every E30 I've worked on had solenoid type elecrtic central locking...

 

The vac trick DID work on a range of 80's audis, but only on saloons as it's the only one with a lock in a flat panel for the ball to seal against.

[Albert Ross]

ER you're a fucking liar. Not an E30............ certainly were never fitted with pneumatic control for central locking. Perhaps a Late 60s Mercedes W115 at a pinch.... E30s have motors and relays, not a vacuum hose to be seen. I suggest you fuck off. And who is "our" ? The Library?

[Rusty Pelican]

Was going to say that E30s are motor driven , mine is , my old Audi 80 was vacuum / pneumatic operated , really slow to lock

[Pete-M]

I've heard of it working on a Montego, from a reliable source, but I've never known it to work on anything else.

 

Can't see how it would work on a car with pneumatic / vacuum central locking either. The air pipes are pretty much never attached directly to the barrel, there's normally a rod system in between the pipe unit and the actual barrel. Therefore you could blow as much air as you like through the barrel, it's not going to activate a vacuum sealed lock system it's not piped into.

[pogweasel]

Worked on our old E30.

ER you're a fucking liar. I suggest you fuck off. And who is "our" ? The Library?

 

I believe, the correct phrase for use on the internet is PWNED.

This has just made me rofl though.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

I unlocked a Rover 623 using 'mouth to mouth resuscitation' on the door lock.

[Alexg]

I spent the first month of MG ownership unknowingly using the wrong key to open the door

[stephend]

I remember my dad locking his keys in his metro so he got me to run down the road to the nice lady who also had a metro and would you believe it the keys opened the bloody car.

 

strange as he had three metros at the time (no wonder im as mad as hatter when it comes to collecting shite) and none of those keys opened it

 

stephend

[Albert Ross]

I once got into a 5 door Metro using a very large screwdriver and a pair of Mole grips. I had audience from the Plod, it was causing an obstruction. The lady driver had got out to find out what the rattling noise was from the passenger side, and it was tucked into a side road entrance. It was her NSF belt buckle dangling on the floor. Left it running and the door self-locked. I twisted the look, and it all worked fine when I left it. A swift tenner changed hands first though............. Cheers duck. NO tennis balls in sight. Or "Copy and paste" functions.

[Guest EccentricRichard]

I was talking about the old half a tennis ball trick, which did actually once fix a lock that was clogged up with crap... not the type of central locking fitted. Also, by "our", I meant my family's. Sorry, I got very attached to that car, hence the "our".

[Mr_Bo11ox]

The tennis ball trick is indeed an urban myth, some cars do have vacuum rather than solenoid-operated locks, but the lock barrel itself is an ordinary metal affair like any other, with the rod off the back attached to a pneumatic cylinder rather than a microswitch/solenoid.

 

Somehow i'm not surprised that the tennis ball trick features in ER's vehicular annals though. I imagine a member of his family also bought a Rolls Royce out the E+M for a fiver (the old 'divorce proceeds' chestnut).

[Pillock]

At one stage, I had a Mk3 Polo and my ex a Mk2.

Her key would open my drivers door and boot, but not the passenger door or start the engine.

My key would open only her boot, but start the engine.

This was apparently a very common occurance due to both a limited number of combinations, and very worn locks. I've just taken my key barrel apart to match the new barrel up to the existing key, and there's only 6 points of contact so a little bit of wear and some good luck, it'll open fine.

 

VW were still using the same key technology up to the end of Mk3 Golfs in 1998.....

 

Oh and fuck it, I'll join in. The tennis ball trick is utter shite, pure codswallop. I've just stripped down the locking mechanism on my golf which has pneumatic cental locking... the lock barrel is sealed at the end, there is nowhere for the air to go. The only thing that could happen is it jiggles the pins in the lock, which by a zillion to one chance could line the pins up, BUT you're not providing any rotational force so even if the pins lined up, nothing would happen. Plus the pins are spring-loaded, plus they have a fairly big gap around them so to actually move them with air pressure you'd probably have to shove a few hundred PSI down there.

 

The pneumatic part is purely the air from the pump in the boot, out to the actuator in each door. The signal from the lock, when you turn the key, is electric.

[Rocket88]

This maybe total bollocks, but is it true that if you gently rear end most cars the central locking will activate?

[Tayne]

.

[Rusty Pelican]

Years ago the locks on my Commer were worn beyond believe , doors would unlock with more or less anything that fitted in the slot , one usefull feature of this was the ability to remove the ignition key and leave it running , handy when id forgotten something and had to go back in the house or needed to unlock the rear tailgate to put stuff in , handy that is untill id driven about 80 miles from home , pulled in to get some fuel only to realise the keys were in the kitchen

[myglaren]

My mate (the same one as had the Carina needing a £600 alternator) also had a Camaro that had a ring round the ignition lock barrel. He could start the car then remove the keys and subsequently stop/start the engine with the ring round the lock barrel.

 

How or why the steering lock was operated/disabled I have no idea but the whole thing, while having a practical aspect to it, i.e. can't find the keys, alwasy seemed to be rather flawed to me.

 

I was led to believe that Scorpios could be opend using the half tennis ball method. My illusions are clearly delusions on that score

[trigger]

This maybe total bollocks, but is it true that if you gently rear end most cars the central locking will activate?

 

When i was in my pile up the other month my central locking never went off, mind you nore did any of the airbags.

[Pillock]

Yes, on a lot of cars there are sensors which detect an accident and will pop the locks. It's a fairly heavy shunt that triggers it though, not just kicking it - you're talking airbag levels of force.

[scaryoldcortina]

One quick comment on the tennis ball trick... I only said it worked because, well, it worked.

 

About a decade ago I had an '84 audi 80 (square shape) and someone mentioned the tennis ball trick. I didn't believe him, went to prove that it was bollocks by trying it out on the boot lock and it bloody worked. Ball over lock, smack it one, up comes the door buttons. I remember it well 'cos the sod didn't stop saying "I told you so" for weeks!

 

Reflecting on it now, I suspect that what actually happened was the solid thump moved the actuator rather than the air working the pneumatic system... similar to what some peugeots (405 I'm looking at you) can do if the drivers door blows shut hard.. I've had to break into a few over the years where the CL went off as the door closed and the keys were still inside.

 

My personal stupidest locked out of a car incident happened when I stopped my montego on a double yellow to investigate the banging noise from the back. While I was waggling the exhaust my dog went round all the doors looking for me, standing on the buttons as she went. Keys in, engine running, panicky dog inside car. I borrowed a big screwdriver and some packing tape from the corner shop to get back in, but boy was that embarrasing....

[Guest EccentricRichard]

The tennis ball trick is indeed an urban myth, some cars do have vacuum rather than solenoid-operated locks, but the lock barrel itself is an ordinary metal affair like any other, with the rod off the back attached to a pneumatic cylinder rather than a microswitch/solenoid.

 

Somehow i'm not surprised that the tennis ball trick features in ER's vehicular annals though. I imagine a member of his family also bought a Rolls Royce out the E+M for a fiver (the old 'divorce proceeds' chestnut).

 

All I can say is that it seemed to work on the E30... and no, nobody's bought a Rolls for a fiver. Not a road-legal one, anyway... any mug knows that a three or four figure Rolls is likely to be no end of trouble...