Are you a giffer? Take this test to find out.

[Bren]

A miserable 65 points. 

I was thinking what else to use as a benchmark?

Have you had a car with an AA / national breakdown badge screwed to the grill? 10 points.

Used a clothes peg to stop the choke pulling back in? 5 points.

Painted an entire panel with holts dupli colour* aerosols? 20 points.

Bought air and oil filters from a supermarket? 20 points.

Adorned your car with cuddly garfield / fat willys stickers? 10 points.

Fitted leopard skin seat covers because thet seats underneath were worn out? 10 points.

* other paints also available.

[eddyramrod]

^Well that's another 55 points for me then!

[Wibble]

7 minutes ago, Bren said:

A miserable 65 points. 

I was thinking what else to use as a benchmark?

Have you had a car with an AA / national breakdown badge screwed to the grill? 10 points.

Used a clothes peg to stop the choke pulling back in? 5 points.

Painted an entire panel with holts dupli colour* aerosols? 20 points.

Bought air and oil filters from a supermarket? 20 points.

Adorned your car with cuddly garfield / fat willys stickers? 10 points.

Fitted leopard skin seat covers because thet seats underneath were worn out? 10 points.

* other paints also available.

Another 30 for me then with paint and badge thrown in

[Dobloseven]

Ever been to one of those parties where couples put their car keys in a bowl?50 points.Plus a further 50 if you got the wrong end of the stick and ended up shagging a Vauxhall Victor!

[garethj]

135 points for me I think, although now I can’t remember what I came in here for 👎

[lesapandre]

51 minutes ago, Wibble said:

Another 30 for me then with paint and badge thrown in

You get bonus points if you have both AA and RAC metal badges.

More points and bonus for a 'Veteran Motorists Association' badge...

Hit the jackpot with the 'Civil Service Motoring Association' badge.

[lesapandre]

55 minutes ago, Dobloseven said:

Ever been to one of those parties where couples put their car keys in a bowl?50 points.Plus a further 50 if you got the wrong end of the stick and ended up shagging a Vauxhall Victor!

I think you mean Victor from Vauxhall? 🤣

[warren t claim]

23 hours ago, Wibble said:

I’m 55 this month and too many of these are familiar practises 😬😁. Does swapping rear brake adjusters and shoes between one Mk5 Cortina and another, to gain an MOT pass, then back again count?🤣

If you still own a Cortina void bush tool then allow yourself another 20 points.

[warren t claim]

14 hours ago, St.Jude said:

This is a long ass way of asking "Have you ever owned a pink paper license?".

25 points if you've had a driving endorsement, NOT points on your GREEN license.

[warren t claim]

On the subject of law enforcement. 

Have you ever been pulled over by one of the following the police cars?

Mini 25 points.

RWD Escort. 20 points.

ADO16. 30 points.

Rover P6. 30 points.

Mk1 Granada. 30 points.

Sapphire Cosworth. 15 points. 

[Fat_Pirate]

Somehow I've only scored 75 points yet I'm definitely a giffer - 85% of my driving is to garden centres, where I'll do some Stevie Wonder-style parking which may include contact with the scenery.

[Dobloseven]

6 minutes ago, Fat_Pirate said:

Somehow I've only scored 75 points yet I'm definitely a giffer - 85% of my driving is to garden centres, where I'll do some Stevie Wonder-style parking which may include contact with the scenery.

Have you got an Over 50s Funeral Plan?

[Dobloseven]

When you change a part on your car,do you put the old one in the box the new one came in,and store it on a shelf in the garage?Ready for it to end up years later after you're dead at an Autojumble as NOS! 50points.

[RayMK]

Driven on a UK motorway before the 70mph limit?  No

Been a passenger in a car on a UK motorway before the 70mph limit? Yes. 20 points. 

Legally driven a car without wearing a seat belt on public roads? Yes.  25 points.

Bought a brand new crossply tyre from a major fast fit centre? No

Bought a remould tyre from a major fast fit centre? No

Driven home from the pub after at least five pints before the introduction of the breathaliser? No

Fitted an aftermarket heated rear window. Yes.  30 points.

Patch welded a car to get through its first MOT at 3 years old?  No

Fitted a LW/MW radio to your car and had to ponder where to mount it as that car didn't have a factory fitted blanking plate in the dash. No

Fitted a switch operated electric aerial. No

Fitted a Selmar/Harry Moss car alarm that involved drilling a hole into a panel to fit the alarm lock. No

Converted a car from dynamo to alternator.  No

Owned a Mk3/4 Cortina fitted with a set of stolen early Sierra Aero wheel trims.  No

Fitted a sunstrip to the top of your windscreen.  No

Waxoiled a car.  Yes. 15 points.

Fitted a set of front or rear fog lamps. No

Used offcuts of your living room carpet to make car mats. No

Fitted an earthing strip to your rear bumper.  No

Bought a Krook Lock.  Yes. 10 points.

Swapped your points for a Sparkright electronic ignition set.  No

Fitted a manual choke conversion kit. Yes. 25 points

Score: 125 (age 75)

However, I wish to confess to never having used a satnav (only mapbooks) and I do not even own a smartphone.  

[Urko]

I removed a manual choke conversion from my Ma's Capri.  It started and ran way better with the autochoke restored to factory.

[Urko]

38 minutes ago, Dobloseven said:

When you change a part on your car,do you put the old one in the box the new one came in,and store it on a shelf in the garage?Ready for it to end up years later after you're dead at an Autojumble as NOS! 50points.

I have been thinking about this whilst listening to Phil Collins' autobiography on audiobook.  When he croaks people will pay good money for his old junk due to it having been owned by a celebrity.  No-one will want my old shit.

I saw a pile of carefully labled 45s in a charity shop today and concluded they probably came from some local deceased dude.

[eddyramrod]

37 minutes ago, Urko said:

No-one will want my old shit.

MrsR says this about my models, constantly.  Almost word for word.

[Wibble]

1 hour ago, warren t claim said:

If you still own a Cortina void bush tool then allow yourself another 20 points.

Ah shit, yes sir, yes I do and what an absolute ball ache that job is. 

[Metal Guru]

9 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

I score 85. This felt like a Barry test at times, especially with the sunstrip question.

 

By the way, you forgot to ask weather anyone had a tartan rug for winter drives or a Panama hat on the rear shelf for sunny days out. Then there's the first aid tin box with the warning triangle in the red plastic sliding box, and not forgetting a metal petrol can and 4 way wheel brace in the boot.

I’ve a tartan rug but it’s mainly for picnics rather than winter drives, no hats (I hate all hats), but do have the first aid tin, (everything out of date, probably give you sepsis), the triangle in plastic slidey box, petrol can (may be plastic) and 4 way brace.

[kirton]

265, old is only a number

[Dobloseven]

9 hours ago, lesapandre said:

I think you mean Victor from Vauxhall? 🤣

No, I'm Luton Intolerant!

[autopaul]

A steady 100 for myself, I hope that put me in the youngster category!

[Imhotep]

Only 35 points, but I am a product of the mid 1990s. And that’s only for fitting fog lights to an old 106 and fitting a sun strip to the same 106 to hide the cracked windscreen at MOT time. 
 

Not old yet then despite what the kids tell me!

[hennabm]

Gulp - 245 points.

[2flags]

13 hours ago, warren t claim said:

If you still own a Cortina void bush tool then allow yourself another 20 points.

Well, that's another 20 for me. What about if you still have the Pinto engine camshaft tools?

[Urko]

9 minutes ago, 2flags said:

Well, that's another 20 for me. What about if you still have the Pinto engine camshaft tools?

I still have the weird backwards U spanner for the vale seals (I think it is) on a Pinto, also carb adjusting tools for SU type carbs.  Somewhere.

[Bren]

I still have the clips (somewhere)you  use during clutch replacement on a mk 2 cavalier.

[2flags]

Who still has a timing light, and have you ever used it? That's got to be worth 10 points at least oh, and a dwell angle meter. 😁

[Wibble]

9 minutes ago, 2flags said:

Who still has a timing light, and have you ever used it? That's got to be worth 10 points at least oh, and a dwell angle meter. 😁

Yes and yes🙂

[Shite Ron]

3 minutes ago, 2flags said:

Who still has a timing light, and have you ever used it? That's got to be worth 10 points at least oh, and a dwell angle meter. 😁

Yes  to all and the Cortina void bush tool, pinto cambelt tools, mk2 Cavalier clutch tool plus 17 Cortina’s to use the void bush tool on, oh and the Ford void bushes. If all these are added my score will keep going up! What is the minimum score to be a giffer and what are the prizes?
Top score gets an MGB, second place a tweed jacket, third a cardigan? Maybe a flat cap or trilby?