Picture Spurt Updated 3rd May

[shite_meister]

Get some:

 

Big Vauxhall not moved for a few years, owner won't sell despite a mate offering to buy it and restore it, far better to let it rot away in a field-well done fucktard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Visa in rare owner not sat in it shocker, this has been posted before and the owner is a jolly nice chap who's other car is a Jag E-type 7-litre racing car

 

 

 

 

Dizzler Merc W123, nuff said.

 

This was a beauty of an E28 so imagine the state of my piss to find that the owner had done this to it shortly after buying it I'd like to see the owner sit through a whole episode of anything with Vernon Kay in it. Twat. At least it was in the States of Jersey Driver & Vehicle Standards workshop so hopefully said owner will have been bum-raped buy a magistrate with a big gavel.

 

Charade, chuck a new turbot on him and put the wheels back on and stop being a wet fanny man! this I belive has been crushed which is what I'd like to do to the empty skull of the berk that let this die. Damned you!

 

Rover 800, such a shame, such a waste. If its good enough for MPs dammit its good enough to cart the meister of shite the Shite_Meister around this septic Isle on the hunt for chod. Warped plastic has never looked so apealing.

 

 

"Hello, yes I have a lovely old Toyota Landcruiser, no I'd rather just do fuck-all with it and get covered in shit to be honest" might be the telephone conversation with the owner of this old Toymota if one might enquire about it. The confusing thing is that at least its indoors so should the owner be congratulated? hmmmm I'm confused.

 

 

 

I fully expected Bernard Breslaw to be in the back sniffing some bras or glue or some shit, man I'd like to spend a rainy afternoon assembling a 1:72 scale Airfix Spitfire in the back of this "Dammit I've glued my beatiful eyes shut with Humbrol Poly Cement" might be one phrase heard in such circumstances.

 

I already own two E30s but can one ever have too much of a good thing? well when it means you can't eat because you've spent all your wages on shit for BMWs then quite possible yes. This is for sale, I want but must not be tempted....it is nice enough to warrant the use of a tissue to wipe one's nose with rather than wiping it under the front edge of the seat methinks.

 

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC02823-1.jpg

I CAN HAZ BODYSHOP SKILLZ, check this shit out, why? why the fuck would you do that? I mean, why?

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC02381.jpg

Nice UK reg SAAB, I was going to chat to the owner but to be honest I couldn't be arsed so didn't as they looked boring.

 

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC02913.jpg

Truck shite, this is what my work uses to collect forklift trucks for repair work, tis a thing of great beauty. If this lorry were a person it'd be Ronnie Corbett not because of the fact its a stunted little fucker but the Ronster also liked to pull forklift trucks in his spare time albeit with his teeth.

 

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04802.jpg

Nice but almost so cliched that it just do anything for me now, its like I feel like the car enthuisiasts equivalent of a gay...without the rampant anal bits obviously.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04805.jpg

Ordinarily I'd not think twice about NOT taking a picture of an MGB but I feel the colour of this one is relevant.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04807.jpg

Nicely.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04808.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04811.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04830.jpg

I like this lots, in fact I like it more than Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and boy-oh-boy does the Shite_Meister love that stuff, I can munch that shit right down all day.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04818.jpg

Listen son we've all acted the cunt at some point in our lives there's no need to continually do so. Plenty of this stuff about today but just not interested to be honest, maybe its the stereotypical twat that owns it I don't no but give me shite anydaze.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04823.jpg

Phew! thats more like it, and the award for The Biggest Balls goes to the owner of this ezzer who shows this with pride at all the car shows amongst mutterings of "What the fuck?" I hate the expression but Fair Play Fella!

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04826.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04819.jpg

French flavoured Cunto.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04820.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04825.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04824.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04822.jpg

Nice pair of standard Cossies, I was attracted to the Blue one in a way that was un-natural although I can safely say that I didn't make use of the nearby public toilets to pleasure myself. Not seen that colour blue on a cossie before I think.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04815.jpg

WINNER-bago. Full of win and old pants.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04814.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04827.jpg

TVR 450 sounds awsome but an acquired visual taste, interior is red so that you can't see the blood once its dripped from your ears.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04817.jpg

MG-RV8 likey, I had a go in one and they're bloody lovely. You'll note that parked behind was an Aston but the owner looked like a miserable cunt so I made sure he saw me take pics of the cars in front and behind him BUT NOT HIS, don't mess with the 'Meister or he'll wreak havoc!

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04813.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04828.jpg

I like these, very compact and very eighties.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04800.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04801.jpg

I've always wanted a black girlfriend.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04812.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04829.jpg

Stag weekend, nice car nicde colour, nice.

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04836.jpg

This was keeping this company:

 

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04833.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04837.jpg

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv110/jerseypockets/Tat/DSC04838.jpg

Fuck me a Mehari, I want one of these more than I want a piss right now and thats pretty bad so on that note I will leave you to pleasure yourself all over the pics.

 

I AM SPENT!

[r.welfare]

Awesome pictures.The Capri is the pic of the bunch for me. I reckon the owner of that Yankee Scrote probably pop-riveted the bumper as there's zero chance of finding a replacement this side of the Atlantic.Last time I was in Jers I saw a really nicely ratty Alfa Giulietta, brown I think and on a UK C-plate near to the dual carriageway, wonder if it's still smoking around?

[seth]

That Victor estate needs saving from a damp grassy end! I presume those sea view classics were on some sort of run?

[chaseracer]

deletedpics are great...

[Minimad5]

Great pics !Ta' for sharing

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I just LOL'd at many of those profanity-filled accompanying stories. GR8 WORK!

[pogweasel]

Great pics. Interesting commentary, assume you spend the afternoon drinking in the sun [like me]

[shite_meister]

That Victor estate needs saving from a damp grassy end! I presume those sea view classics were on some sort of run?

Yeah I think it was a classic car breakfast meet but a few other clubs turned up. The guy who owns the Capri also owns a nice Zodiac and a Hyundai Sonata.

[shite_meister]

Great pics. Interesting commentary, assume you spend the afternoon drinking in the sun [like me]

Thanks but no, just a bit too much of sun and genuis...and Solpadol.

[BrianDamaged]

Excellent stuff. And the commentary made me LOL muchly.The two Bedford/AWD trucks are almost certainly ex-Royal Navy. A firm I used to work for up here had an ex-Navy 14-tonne Bedford TL which I used to LOVE driving.

[pompei]

Agreed, smashing pics and what-he's-on David Coleman stuff.

[brammy777]

Thats an ace round up of shite, nice one. I always thought those Freight Rovers looked really weird as tippers, and its a damn shame about those old Vauxhalls, surely worth a bit?

[trigger]

Top stuff SM, Your witty write up also made me LOL, Wish i could be witty when i write stuff like that.

[shite_meister]

Top stuff SM, Your witty write up also made me LOL, Wish i could be witty when i write stuff like that.

Cheers Trig, its really quite simple though-you just have to be a nob lol!

[garethj]

What's this? Interceptor or something more interesting?

 

Top work on the report

[shite_meister]

What's this? Interceptor or something more interesting?Top work on the report

Cheers, yep an Interceptor.

[carlo]

Some nice pictures there, have you used up your daily quota of cunts, tissues, wanking, gays, wet fannies, piss and more wanking or is there more to come? Perhaps someone could post their wife's ARSE or TITS on the site.Cars are so boring!

[VWPowered]

awesome pics

[Mash]

I have to say I have recently had WANT for an Eighties 911 Carrera or SC in Yuppie-spec red, they just look so right. Hopefully I would ignore all the cliched comments and just enjoy the car.

[worldofceri]

 

I'll take this one please. Great spotz!

[Guest]

I have to say I have recently had WANT for an Eighties 911 Carrera or SC in Yuppie-spec red, they just look so right. Hopefully I would ignore all the cliched comments and just enjoy the car.

You should just make the most of it, drive around in one of those blue shirts with the white collars/cuffs shouting into a Motorola DynaTac.

[Parky]

Great Chod, great commentary, practically wet myself over the Uk Saab owner comment. Top stuff, you are the Meister!

[warren t claim]

What's that in place of the rev counter in the LHD S-Class?

[shite_meister]

What's that in place of the rev counter in the LHD S-Class?

Rev counter is on the left hand side upper, the bit on the right is a trip computer accessed by the four semi-circle buttons by the mirror controls by the gear lever. This was a German market import and it had the 2.8 engine but loads of extras like pneumatic lumbar adjustment on the electric seats and climate control etc etc.

 

Ran like a bag of dog-shit though.

 

 

[meggersdog]

By the looks of that jump start pack in the footwell a new battery would help it run alot smoother

[shite_meister]

By the looks of that jump start pack in the footwell a new battery would help it run alot smoother

Not heard of a car running smoother because the battery needed a jump start, it ran like a bag of shit because it had a problem with the fuel metering head. The car wasn't mine and has since been sold.

[Captain Mainwaring]

This was a beauty of an E28 so imagine the state of my piss to find that the owner had done this to it shortly after buying it I'd like to see the owner sit through a whole episode of anything with Vernon Kay in it. Twat.

Bit harsh! I'll bet the owner wasn't all that chuffed about shunting it either.Otherwise, some cracking spots!

[Guest]

Commentary = magnifique.Did those mags turn up chap?

[shite_meister]

This was a beauty of an E28 so imagine the state of my piss to find that the owner had done this to it shortly after buying it I'd like to see the owner sit through a whole episode of anything with Vernon Kay in it. Twat.

Bit harsh! I'll bet the owner wasn't all that chuffed about shunting it either.Otherwise, some cracking spots!

Thanks but I was refering to the Vernon as a twat but having witnessed the owner's driving prevously I'd say that it could apply to him also. It was a beauty of an E28 in a late spec with de-chromed option.

Commentary = magnifique.Did those mags turn up chap?

Yes thanks Jon, I do like a good CAR mag. Cheers for being patient.

[Captain Mainwaring]

Fair enough then, if he drives like a twunt, I'll let you off.