KarLek ShunThread REPRISE: BORDER CROSSING

[grogee]

Sitrep: woke up too early. Haven't done my Wordle yet. No breakfast, not even tea. 

Mission: get Mrs Grogee some wheels. 

Destination: the grim north.

Conveyance: Ford Puma followed by a variety of railway locomotives. 

PC: 0.

[Cavcraft]

Good luck!

[grogee]

Breakfast: of champions. Nutritional content: zero. Marmite for main, marmalade for pudding.

Fresh coffee, none of that instant muck. 

PC: still 0.

[Twiggy]

Good luck ! I hope it all goes well.

[somewhatfoolish]

A scan of the Force Ale points to the best option being a floppytop Renner Megan; brave choice, sir. 🤣

[tooSavvy]

Why couldn't I do a witty KarLek ShunThread 😕

☕✔️

PC. Nil

...... ah well

Bon Chance 😉

[grogee]

PC: one. 

Now at the first station. I fear for the efficacy of my mode of transport; there are 2 changes on this journey. With each change comes an extra risk of Network Derail Fail. 

My Train line app is full of warnings and disclaimers about industrial action and works. Fucking Tories. 

[Cluffy]

How far North are you headed, remind me?

[EyesWeldedShut]

I'm liking the Megane idea - so Staffordshire?

[grogee]

1 minute ago, Cluffy said:

How far North are you headed, remind me?

It's a secret. 

I'm on the first train. Pretty sure it's half-size judging by the crowding. Cross Country fuckers. Everything in this country is Always Broken. 

I accidentally sat down in first class but hopefully the guard won't bother doing a ticket sweep seeing as there's so many people standing. 

On the plus side I'm enjoying the novelty of 5G. I hope I have enough connectivity to listen to the Headingley test match day 3.

[grogee]

50 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Renner Megan

 

4 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Megane

Nope. It is European though. 

[EyesWeldedShut]

Hmmm - care to narrow it down North, South, East or West Europe (I'm guessing not South as that'd be a Fiat). Could be an Alfa though....

[grogee]

I very much suspect we are going to lose this one (again) but it will be a narrow margin (again). Getting Smith out for 2 has got everyone excited but England is a team held together with sellotape and string. Wood is excellent - super fast, but you can almost see the life force being sucked out of him from every ball. Fragile. 

Ben Stokes, again a world class player, is limping and hobbling all over the place, surviving on a diet of skill and painkillers. 

I do think, if I was Jonny Bairstow, I would be handing the gloves over to Woakes for the next two matches. He's arguably lost the first two with really poor keeping. I like the guy and he's great with the bat but we need a catcher behind the stumps. 

[grogee]

26 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Hmmm - care to narrow it down North, South, East or West Europe (I'm guessing not South as that'd be a Fiat). Could be an Alfa though....

Crayoned in the North, but nailed together in the South I'm guessing. 

I just totally thought I'd missed my stop on the train, deep in a reverie and listening to TMS. I needn't have worried as the over-full train is late. 

[grogee]

Next train. I thought about stopping for a wee in New Street but then changed my mind as my 15 minute changeover time had been reduced to 3 minutes. 

Another Cross Country shitbox; this time I'm correctly in cattle class. 

I'd like a coffee but I reckon it's not worth the hassle of finding the buffet car. 

[somewhatfoolish]

Any hen parties? I don't seem able to travel on trains at weekends without being in the same carriage as a hen party.

[grogee]

11 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Any hen parties? I don't seem able to travel on trains at weekends without being in the same carriage as a hen party.

I wish! Nope. Old ladies aplenty. Too much perfume. 

It struck me that a July Collection Thread has become a Thing; here is my thread from last year when I went to Sunderland to get an old Saab. 

 

[grogee]

[eddyramrod]

23 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Any hen parties? I don't seem able to travel on trains at weekends without being in the same carriage as a hen party.

Somehow that happens to me too.  Also, I've been known to get stags, usually on the return journey; having my conspicuous walker makes them treat me with a degree of respect, which is nice.

[High Jetter]

Chodspeed, hope there's no further delays

[grogee]

I've gone rogue and jumped on the wrong train to Notts. My original one is stuck behind a slow train and is delayed. My hunch is that it will continue to be stuck behind it so I've jumped on one 10 mins later, but only because it's on the adjacent platform and it's actually arrived unlike Slowcoach 10.50.

Pretty sure this one is direct too, unlike the stopper service I was due on. 

However I've just realised why my train carriage is so empty - the air con is broken.

[grogee]

MASSIVE GENERALISATION ALERT

What is the correlation between sleeveless t-shirt wearer/vest wearer and racist? 

[BeEP]

1 hour ago, grogee said:

I do think, if I was Jonny Bairstow, I would be handing the gloves over to Woakes for the next two matches. He's arguably lost the first two with really poor keeping. I like the guy and he's great with the bat but we need a catcher behind the stumps. .

I'm guessing you meant Foakes, but I agree that Woakes couldn't do any worse (although we may miss his bowling!).

[De Selby]

11 minutes ago, grogee said:

MASSIVE GENERALISATION ALERT

What is the correlation between sleeveless t-shirt wearer/vest wearer and racist? 

There's a close correlation between sleeveless t-shirts and Australian football players, not sure if that helps 

[Popsicle]

1 hour ago, grogee said:

On the plus side I'm enjoying the novelty of 5G. I hope I have enough connectivity to listen to the Headingley test match day 3

You're not missing owt, rain delayed start and early lunch. Hoping to start at 1310, hope your new chod has modern connectivity, DAB or LW for the return journey home.

[EyesWeldedShut]

4 minutes ago, De Selby said:

There's a close correlation between sleeveless t-shirts and Australian football players, not sure if that helps 

I was going to suggest English Football Fan but this one ^^  is much better (anybody else know these as 'wife beater T shirts'?)

[High Jetter]

5 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

(anybody else know these as 'wife beater T shirts'?)

Have heard the term, think it's from the USA.

[Jerzy Woking]

Drink "Wife Beater" (Stella Artois) whilst wearing your "Wife Beater" vest I thought was very British.

[High Jetter]

7 minutes ago, Jerzy Woking said:

Drink "Wife Beater" (Stella Artois) whilst wearing your "Wife Beater" vest I thought was very British.

From Wiki:

Quote

The term wife-beater reportedly became synonymous for an undershirt after a 1947 criminal case where a Detroit man was arrested for beating his wife to death, and newspapers printed a photo of the "wife beater" wearing a stained undershirt.

 

[Floatylight]

Quick tip for those using London Northwestern / WM trains - they've done away with First class tickets so anyone can now sit in 1st class for a free Air of superiority....