A bit of shite - manual Jaguar XJR!

[horriblemercedes]

This won't be the most exciting thread on this site but I thought I'd like to contribute something. There might be something of interest to someone.

I could go back further but I'm going back to January 2016 when I bought this car, one of my favourites. Before that I didn't do any shiteing so not very interesting. This car introduced me to it and it's now my way of life.

It's a reasonably rare Astra SRi Turbo 200. In January 2016 I got a tax refund of £2400 (I think) and went to see a mk5 Golf GTI that was advertised for that. It was utterly buggered so I wondered what I could get for my money that was similar but wouldn't be completely buggered for that price. I bought this Astra without knowing much about them and it was excellent. Quick, fun, reliable and I paid just over half my £2400 budget. It had a leaky rad and a broken wing mirror but otherwise was pretty good.

 

Six speed gearbox (known for shitting itself but never put a foot wrong for me) and a 197bhp 2.0 turbo engine, coded Z20LER. Honestly, I loved this car. One of the best I've owned. In June 2018 it was T-boned by a Ford Kuga that simply drove off. Luckily I had witnesses and the insurance company of the third party settled. I was given more money than the car cost me in the first place. I continued to use it while I decided what to get next. In the end I sold it to a colleague for scrap value who assured me he would fix it up and he did. Then he got an insurance quote, decided it was far too much and broke it for parts. I wish I had done my original plan of keeping the engine for a future project (it was an absolute belter) but I thought I was doing him a favour

[horriblemercedes]

I really enjoyed the Astra, but after that success, I thought I could upgrade. I bought this ex-police Vectra V6 Special for £950 on eBay. 167k miles, it had new timing chains at 143k iirc. A great car. Excellent handling and genuinely quick. For anyone interested, they have the VXR 2.8 turbo V6, VXR brakes and VXR active suspension. Interior is basic Vectra apart from dual zone climate control and the calibrated speedometer. Bodykit is Vectra SRi and the wheels are (I think) from a Zafira. Basically the cheapest alloys Vauxhall made that would clear the brakes. I really enjoyed this car but didn't have it for long as I lost my parking, still had the Astra and the Astra was much better on fuel and tax. I really should've kept the Vectra and sold the Astra but I only had it for a short time in 2017. I'm sure I have other pictures of it (including some from its time in the police) but I think they're on an old USB stick or hard drive and I'll have to have a search

[horriblemercedes]

After the Astra was crashed, I fancied a Saab 95 Aero to replace it. I was keeping an eye out for the right one when the Astra's clutch started to slip. I nursed it for a bit but then I was offered something very different in November 2018. A Mercedes ML270 CDI and it would cost me £350. The catch will be apparent from the pictures.

 

The rust has progressed quite significantly since then, but I slow it down with rust converter. This is the car that gave me my handle on this site and it is one of my favourites I've ever owned. I thought I'd drive it for a couple of months and scrap it because it was probably screwed, but it turned out to be very sound with an interior in near-perfect condition and the rust really is cosmetic. So then I thought I'd keep it as a tow car and get something else, but really I just drive it every day. A great, reliable car that has cost me bugger all in parts (a couple of hundred in total) over nearly 2.5 years and 40k miles. Looks like a bag of shit but it's just very good at being a comfortable, reliable and good car. It's even ok on diesel. It has towed car trailers across Europe and I still like it now. I spend money only on what it needs. It now looks a bit tougher with a set of Yokohama Geolandar GO15s to replace the rubbish Chinese ditchfinders it came with. It does a lot of towing and offroad and it's just mighty impressive, other than the obvious rust

[horriblemercedes]

 

In February 2019, I thought I might like a sports car and bought the cheapest mk3 MX-5 2.0 I could find. From a man with gold teeth who didn't even show up to show me the car. The pictures don't make it obvious but that offside rear arch was very rotten and very rapidly started falling apart. Then it turned out that it had probably a dodgy MOT because the rot underneath had not occurred overnight. I'm a terrible welder but an absolute rust converter ninja. It was too rusted for my skills so I paid for it to be welded up and sold it to a friend for a stupid low price because I felt it was worth no more. Oh, and it burned oil like crazy. Any spirited driving could get rid of a pint of oil in 100 miles or so. It was the PCV valve which is a horrid job on these. Still had a good time though. The 2.0 comes with a limited slip diff and I did two Nuerburgring trips in it as well as a few track days and it did them well. With Brembo discs and Stop Tech pads, the braking was amazing. By far the best of any car I've had so far

[horriblemercedes]

While I had the MX-5, I borrowed a friend's Porsche Boxster S 986 for a week and fell in love with it. This just made me resent the MX-5 so I realised I had to buy one to cure this. I would say that this car is not shite, it's actually quite nice and has some niggles but is not suitable here, but it's part of the story.

Two photos are from the seller, one is the day I bought it and one is the day after, when it shat the aux belt tensioner. I quickly removed the naff extra Porsche badging and stickering. It's a keeper - it's like someone in 2002 (for it originally had a 52 plate) wanted to spec a car for me to own 18 years later. They didn't go for satnav, but did go for heated seats, cruise control, xenon lights and the rare facelift Turbo twist alloys.

 

It's a UK-spec car delivered new to a dealership in Denmark. It was driven on Danish export plates until June 2003 when it was registered in the UK and given a 52 plate. It got an 03 plate at some point later after a private plate swap.

 

The day after I bought it, I went out for a drive and it shat the aux belt tensioner. Properly. Easy change though so I got a replacement tensioner and belt from my local Porsche dealership and changed it. I can't praise this thing enough. It would be a bit nicer with the 3.4 from a 996 911 I guess, but I wouldn't want much more. It's a nice balance of performance, braking and handling for me

[horriblemercedes]

In early 2018 I got talking to a mate about a track car. I had never done a track day at this point, but I was interested. We wanted a car with a six cylinder engine, a manual gearbox and rear drive. In the end we found a Vauxhall Omega 2.5 CDX estate in Felixstowe for £650 and that was that. We went there, I test drove it and found a good car with appalling brakes (20 year old fluid) and I gingerly drove it to where it would live at his unit in Lancashire. He's  on this site but I don't know his handle so can't tag him.

 

It did its first track day at Oulton Park in November 2018. It worked well all day until the clutch shattered near the end of the day. I guess an old clutch and plenty of heat will do that. I have a big soft spot for Omegas and enjoy this one very much but it's waiting in that barn in Lancashire for a new brake line that I sheared. Just haven't been able to do much lately because of lockdown. I live near Wolverhampton

[horriblemercedes]

26 minutes ago, horriblemercedes said:

While I had the MX-5, I borrowed a friend's Porsche Boxster S 986 for a week and fell in love with it. This just made me resent the MX-5 so I realised I had to buy one to cure this. I would say that this car is not shite, it's actually quite nice and has some niggles but is not suitable here, but it's part of the story.

Two photos are from the seller, one is the day I bought it and one is the day after, when it shat the aux belt tensioner. I quickly removed the naff extra Porsche badging and stickering. It's a keeper - it's like someone in 2002 (for it originally had a 52 plate) wanted to spec a car for me to own 18 years later. They didn't go for satnav, but did go for heated seats, cruise control, xenon lights and the rare facelift Turbo twist alloys.

 

It's a UK-spec car delivered new to a dealership in Denmark. It was driven on Danish export plates until June 2003 when it was registered in the UK and given a 52 plate. It got an 03 plate at some point later after a private plate swap.

 

The day after I bought it, I went out for a drive and it shat the aux belt tensioner. Properly. Easy change though so I got a replacement tensioner and belt from my local Porsche dealership and changed it. I can't praise this thing enough. It would be a bit nicer with the 3.4 from a 996 911 I guess, but I wouldn't want much more. It's a nice balance of performance, braking and handling for me

I forgot to include a crucial detail. When I was buying it, I asked about the IMS bearing. The seller had no idea what that was so I was going to walk away. Then he said he had a pile of paperwork from previous owners and went inside to find it. I pored over it and found an invoice for a big engine rebuild, only 12k miles before I bought it. It had shat a valve seat in 2015 and the Porsche specialist investigating it had done a big rebuild with a new IMS bearing, timing chains and guides and a lot of general rebuild. It was more or less a fresh engine. After I read that invoice, I really had to have it

[horriblemercedes]

I forgot a bit about the prelude to the Astra. A bloke in the pub offered me this VW Caddy for £2850 because that was what he was offered as a trade in. He had owned it from new, it had 41k miles and had the DSG gearbox and climate control, so a nice spec. Bought it, thought it was crap although it worked perfectly and sold it to We Buy Any Van for a big profit. I had already bought the Astra and fallen in love with it at that point

[horriblemercedes]

Minor update. Did rear brake pads and an injector seal on the ML today. It really thinks it can lull me into a false sense of security. They went suspiciously easily and well so I know it's hiding something. I didn't even have to use the slide hammer I bought to pull the injector. 

 

Here, see an injector for proof that I done summat: 

 

[goosey]

Good work on the ML 👍🏻
I sold mine 2 years ago they are brilliant cars 

[somewhatfoolish]

That's a top interior colour on the porch-a; I prefer "Is it orange? Is it tan?" orange/tan but "Abattoir explosion" red runs it a close second.

[horriblemercedes]

On 4/19/2021 at 11:06 PM, goosey said:

Good work on the ML 👍🏻
I sold mine 2 years ago they are brilliant cars 

They are - it has been fantastic for me. I think it'll be going soon though. I fancy a change and my brother wants something cheap that can easily carry his massive dog. Perfect result - I can still use it as a tow car when I want and he has been struggling with a Lexus IS and a massive dog, so it's a win-win

[horriblemercedes]

Incoming slice of prime gammon. I've always fancied a manual Jaguar and a friend was getting rid. I really like it. Air conditioning is broken but I'm fairly confident it's just the condenser so I'll have a look next week. 

 

I hate the styling but love the drive. It's a 3.0 manual 

It has already proven that I am the greatest mechanic. It developed a misfire so I ordered a set of plugs. Due to my skills, merely ordering the plugs fixed the misfire 

 

[stuboy]

13 hours ago, horriblemercedes said:

Due to my skills, merely ordering the plugs fixed the misfire 

well done

[Tadhg Tiogar]

13 hours ago, horriblemercedes said:

..... I hate the styling ... 

Apparently you can get wire-spoke wheels for it. Improves* the styling.

[horriblemercedes]

Right, I've finally had the sill covers off the S-Type and the results are surprisingly good. Some surface rust but no holes I could find. Naturally I want to keep it this way.

 

Any thoughts on the best way to go about this? It would be nice to do something better than just putting rust converter on the surface bits. It doesn't have to be pretty as the sills are totally hidden by plastic covers.

 

In other news, an ABS and DSC fault popped up today and the battery is only registering 12.2 volts, so I think I'll try a new one of those to see if that sorts things, since I'll need one anyway. If not, I'll get the fault codes read and hopefully nothing more sinister than a wheel speed sensor!

[Fumbler]

9 minutes ago, horriblemercedes said:

Any thoughts on the best way to go about this? It would be nice to do something better than just putting rust converter on the surface bits. It doesn't have to be pretty as the sills are totally hidden by plastic covers.

Fluid Film or Dynax S50 would be perfect as the sills are obscured.

[horriblemercedes]

On 5/6/2021 at 12:15 PM, horriblemercedes said:

Right, I've finally had the sill covers off the S-Type and the results are surprisingly good. Some surface rust but no holes I could find. Naturally I want to keep it this way.

 

Any thoughts on the best way to go about this? It would be nice to do something better than just putting rust converter on the surface bits. It doesn't have to be pretty as the sills are totally hidden by plastic covers.

 

In other news, an ABS and DSC fault popped up today and the battery is only registering 12.2 volts, so I think I'll try a new one of those to see if that sorts things, since I'll need one anyway. If not, I'll get the fault codes read and hopefully nothing more sinister than a wheel speed sensor!

I finally got round to investigating this. Simplest free repair ever! One of the sensors was unseated. If I had to guess, it was installed slightly on the piss when the wheel bearings were done shortly before I bought the car. Then it worked loose. The diagnostic computer that I borrowed showed that the sensor was giving implausible results and the ABS ring was missing all its teeth. So that makes sense. Anyway - no warning lights now and ABS works, I can confirm. 

 

I did however have an incident with some snap over steer and a kerb the other day. Totally out of character for this - naturally it really doesn't want to kick the back end out at all, even when provoked. Absolutely ruined a wheel but doesn't seem to have affected the drive, so hopefully no damage underneath. 

 

Happily on eBay I found someone nearby selling an S-Type wheel with a tyre with 5mm tread in the correct size for £25. It's not the same as the other wheels but is balanced and holds pressure fine so it'll keep me mobile for now. I kind of like it in a ropey old Jag kind of way. 

 

I still hate the styling, but it's doing great work as an car that's fairly quick, drives well and is comfortable and reasonable on petrol

 

Edit - I mentioned a misfire before. New plugs sorted that (the old ones were horrible tbh. I was amazed the misfire wasn't worse) and I changed the aux belt while I was under the bonnet as the old one had started to show cracks 

[horriblemercedes]

Little update. I bought this EP3 Honda Civic Type-R in August for a project. Very cheap. The condition wasn't great and the alloys are hideous (though light, ideal offset and width and good quality) but I drove it for a while to test it and make sure it was all fine. I really enjoyed it - they're fantastic. If you get the opportunity, do it. In the same way that an M3 feels and acts like a different car to a 335d despite being mostly the same, these are not just a Honda Civic. The engine light was because of a removed catalytic converter; I have since replaced it. I've got a set of standard alloys too - the nature of the project means it's beneficial to have several sets of wheels and tyres around the place.

 

[horriblemercedes]

That project is nearly done. As that project required a particular catalytic converter, I didn't mind if it had one or not and it was cheap enough to negate the scrap value of the cat.

[horriblemercedes]

This next red car was an absolute bargain, apart from nothing electrical at all working properly. It's pretty much rust-free and drives well, so no complaints.

 

[horriblemercedes]

I haven't collected this yet, but I have bought it.

I've always wanted a Land Cruiser Amazon. I've had/driven extensively just about all of the big SUVs apart from Land Cruisers. I've long thought that I'd love a manual diesel one. The only thing stopping me is that they're so expensive compared to other things although I know that that isn't really a problem, because you can sell them for plenty. Cost of ownership in depreciation is therefore low.

I was told about this one on Thursday, went to see it Friday morning and it's definitely not perfect but in my opinion is very good and it was VERY cheap for one of these. Exterior shots are from the seller, the interior shot is mine. I'll probably pick it up tomorrow afternoon so can get more pictures then. The interior is near immaculate apart from a couple of screw holes on a panel where it once had a CB radio mounted. Everything works, including air con and heated seats. AM/FM/Cassette stereo so I'll have to dig out some cassettes. Does anyone have a recommendation for one of those 3.5mm aux cassette things that has decent sound?

Finally, the car has an interesting (but good) history that I can share if anyone is bothered.

[Dyslexic Viking]

39 minutes ago, horriblemercedes said:

Finally, the car has an interesting (but good) history that I can share if anyone is bothered.

Please share. As stories are what make cars more interesting.

[vaughant]

Great writeups, really enjoying. 

I think you summed up ML ownership to perfection, yes they rust up top but not below, the chassis is mage from some serious steel. 

They're great off road as well and as a towcar in my experience, they're unbeatable. Spent many an hour across the whole country with my trailer on the back of one, never had one incident. 

[horriblemercedes]

 

2 hours ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

Please share. As stories are what make cars more interesting.

Since 2007 or so it has belonged to a company that makes military equipment, such as radar jamming machines that are mounted in cars. It has been their demonstrator for such systems in that time. This is why it has only done 27,000 miles since 2007

 

17 minutes ago, horriblemercedes said:

Thanks for that. The ML is a very surprisingly good car. I always dismissed them until I had one, but it was just such an easy and pleasant car to own and so competent at doing what it was intended to do. 

 

I like this new Land Cruiser, but I've paid just under 20x what I paid for the ML

Thanks for that. The ML is a very surprisingly good car. I always dismissed them until I had one, but it was just such an easy and pleasant car to own and so competent at doing what it was intended to do. 

 

I like this new Land Cruiser, but I've paid just under 20x what I paid for the ML

[dome]

I'm getting Land Cruiser envy! Looks cracking, do tell the story?

[horriblemercedes]

1 hour ago, dome said:

I'm getting Land Cruiser envy! Looks cracking, do tell the story?

I'm very excited! Basically it belonged to a company that makes some kind of military equipment and they bought it around 2007 to use as a demonstrator for their car-mounted products. Hence it hasn't done more than 2000 miles any year since then, and sometimes 500 or less. 

 

One door has dull paint, it has the odd mark around the place and a little rust at the bottom of the rear arches but I'm confident it's a good one. I'm towing to Croft this Friday so that's my first test 

[horriblemercedes]

This will need to be sorted for sure, but it was quite a cheap one so not the end of the world. If anyone can recommend someone in the west Midlands, I'd love to hear! 

 

Radio doesn't pick up every station very well but I'll have a look at that myself. Overall it still seems good 

[gadgetgricey]

How quickly does it need doing,  as this guy is good but normally very busy.

http://www.birminghamwelder.co.uk/

Couple over Dudley way as well if that is no good.

[horriblemercedes]

6 minutes ago, gadgetgricey said:

How quickly does it need doing,  as this guy is good but normally very busy.

http://www.birminghamwelder.co.uk/

Couple over Dudley way as well if that is no good.

No rush, it can wait a while! I'll start with the first one. Dudley is more convenient but whoever does a good job is fine by me!