The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

Wives.You'd think they'd be grateful that I got another rabbit to keep our's company when she specifically told me not to until we got back from holiday.You'd also think she'd be grateful that I spent yesterday afternoon putting a recovery beacon on my Transit van* instead of doing stupid things like cleaning the house and washing up then coming in, having a shower, and pissing off to the pub for the night.*She wasn't even impressed when I excitedly pointed out my handiwork and sat outside with the beacons on for fugging ages thinking I was cool. Miserable bint.

[155V6]

The organisers of the Fete I went to yesterday trying to keep my newish Girlfriend happy,they had a stall selling Pimms,but no beer tent

[Negative Creep]

No claims certificates. Can someone explain to me why, in this computerised age, an insurance company cannot just check on the database how much you have? Still trying to get the certificate from my last insurers (3 phone calls and counting) and until then my current premium is doubled.

[pogweasel]

They can do that though, Direct Line lost my proof of no claims, and tried to bump the cost, in the end I gave them the details of the old policy with Elephant over the phone, they phoned Elephant to confirm, job done. As for non-beer village fetes, did you not try to win the warm bottle of "Ruddles" from off the tombola. There's always a warm bottle of "Ruddles" on the tombola. Wives: Sorry, can't help you on that one. I don't understand them either. Just do as they say, and if you do that well you might get a good boy treat. I got some lovely ale as a good boy treat for doing domestic tasks yesterday. Much better than sulkings!

[Father Ted]

Freecycle.The domestic Dyson Retiremeent Home is at burstiing point and I pt up an elderly but still (just) working DC03 on freecycle as I hav no where to put it and Im sick of tripping over the bloody thing.LOTS of emails from mouth breathers "can I deliver" can I fuck, and sob storys about one arsed lesbian layabouts needing it because their giro wont stretch to a carpet cleaner. Fine I pick one old dear at random who says they can COLLECT, GR8... Anyway Im out most of the day and not back til late - so I puts it in th only dry place I can, back seat of car ( I never lock it anyway) tells the old dear thats where it is and to help themselves - oh no i cat possibly do that, cant i come and pick it up tomorrow - no Im not in all day, what about next weekend then - no again I really want it gone. So on the basis that Im not here to hand it over she wont come and pick it up.Bloke who came and collected my old shagged bike had no such issues.

[Cavcraft]

Another gripe about idiotic car 'buyers' I'm afraid.Advert on web (not here or RR) for Micra says £200 no offers.E-mail: 'Hi M8 will u take £100 for it?'Reply: 'Advert says £200 no offers, what do you fucking think? The car is worth more than my price any way you fucking idiot so piss off and waste someone else's time'.And then I had the offer of two wanky old car stereos that didn't even warrant a vitriolic response, and scores more penniless fuckwitted arseholes offering pathetic sums for it. I actually saw someone off another website for good I think because I REALLY lost with him.

[Father Ted]

Advert on web (not here or RR) for Micra says £200 no offers..

Hi M8 - I have a Limited Edition Purple & Blue Dyson DC03 - will swap for Micra and cash my way.

[Negative Creep]

Another gripe about idiotic car 'buyers' I'm afraid.Advert on web (not here or RR) for Micra says £200 no offers.E-mail: 'Hi M8 will u take £100 for it?'Reply: 'Advert says £200 no offers, what do you fucking think? The car is worth more than my price any way you fucking idiot so piss off and waste someone else's time'.And then I had the offer of two wanky old car stereos that didn't even warrant a vitriolic response, and scores more penniless fuckwitted arseholes offering pathetic sums for it. I actually saw someone off another website for good I think because I REALLY lost with him.

I had someone offer me £250 for my Golf. £250 for a GTI with 11 months MOT - I waited a few minutes before I was feeling polite enough to decline. God I hate selling cars, I can see why people just go for the scrappage scheme now

[Cavcraft]

You're dead right and it's also the reason so many people call the scrapyard direct to take away decent runners. I used to make a half hearted attempt at politeness when replying to stupid offers but I don't know if I can any longer. I actually refused to sell the Micra to someone the other day because he asked (and I swear this is true): will it get me to work and back every day for as long as I own it and never break down or cost me money and will you guarantee it will pass the next MOT? I asked him what exactly he expected from a £200 car and suggested politely at first he should go to a garage and buy a brand new one and that with respect I wasn't going to sell him the car because he was seeking the impossible. Things got quite funny shortly afterwards as he told me 'stick it up my arse' and he 'wasn't going to buy it now'.E-mail argument ensues: I tell him I wasn't going to sell it to him anyway as he was a fucking moron, he says I'll never sell it and I've promised him if I don't that I'll use it until the MOT and tax run out and set fire to it in his driveway.

[pogweasel]

God, don't get me started on the FUCKING MORONS who inhabit Freecycle. Last week I put on a box of VHS casettes, with some witty put-down to the dole bludgers that these were NOT brand new & sealed DVD's or a 51-plate Micra with full T&T. Obviously I got sod all interest on the tapes, but did get at least 5 unintelligible emails in txt speak begging for non-existant Micra. Knobs.Every day there's a dozen 'sob stories' from single-mum-of-five-on-benefits wanting plasma tv's, nearly new cars, dishwashers etc. they can all GET BENT. I've just put some decent kit on there today, stuff that hard up (or stingy) folk coul make use of, kids highchairs, unused foot spa etc. Bet next weekend I am throwing them in the tip. It really disgusts me.

[Pillock]

God, don't get me started on the FUCKING MORONS who inhabit Freecycle.

"Wanted: PS3 or XBox 360. Must have two controllers and games and all cables. Cannot collect, sorry".A real advert from my local Freecycle.I put an old printer up (but perfectly servicable, with a full set of sealed cartridges) and had a fair response, three people emailed back same day. Two wanted it delivering some godawful distance, somewhere I'd never be 'just passing'. The third said he'd collect so I told him afternoon since I was at work till 12.... text message at 10.30 "where r u". WTF? Apparently they were sat outside my house getting all huffy because 10.30am wasn't afternoon. He got all stroppy on the phone then, and I ended up getting a message of freecycle mods accusing me of wasting people's time! That got a suitable response, suitable enough to get me kicked off the group

[Cavcraft]

One cheeky sod on my local Freecycle has been well and truly rumbled. He was requesting loads of stuff on there and within an hour or so of collecting was lobbing it all on eBay.I actually like Freecycle and have had more good than bad experiences. If I list something decent I have to confess I always ignore the people who ask for the same items three times a week or those who have had a fair bit of stuff off me in the past as I believe it's fairer to spread it around.I do dislike the unoriginal ones who, upon seeing something like a car adevrtised and missing out, request a taxed and MOT'd car they can use everyday etc.

[pogweasel]

yeah, we have an unusual selection criteria for recipients. basically anyone who sounds begging, whiney or whatever can get stuffed. Anyone who sounds reasonably cheery, communicates intelligently and keeps it brief (and not a rat-faced benefit fiddler) goes to the top of the list. I have got some good stuff off there from asking, tools & whatnot and useful tat. Oh and that Volvo. And some ancient roofracks that I lobbed straight on eBay for OMG HOODRIDE scene tax.

[whitevanman]

The organisers of the Fete I went to yesterday trying to keep my newish Girlfriend happy,they had a stall selling Pimms,but no beer tent

Jeez your GF must be a deluxe model......Pimms indeed

[whitevanman]

I use freecycle a lot.almost never have any problems, though I gave a bloke a Sony phone and charger...........now it seems he cant get it unlocked unless I give him all the details of my account etc, etc............I politly explained that you dont need that info and dont ask again............but he still keeps asking every month or so

[FredTransit]

What I can't stand is that rule Freecycle have about offering more than you ask for, which makes people offer cardboard boxes and stuff. WFT? Don't they have recycling round their way?? Stufflike that just clutters the board up. Whilst we are on the subject, just how quick do you have to be to get a free car off there? Missed a black taxi recently.....

[Cavcraft]

What I can't stand is that rule Freecycle have about offering more than you ask for, which makes people offer cardboard boxes and stuff. WFT? Don't they have recycling round their way?? Stufflike that just clutters the board up. Whilst we are on the subject, just how quick do you have to be to get a free car off there? Missed a black taxi recently.....

Very, as I found out last week

[Pillock]

yeah, we have an unusual selection criteria for recipients. basically anyone who sounds begging, whiney or whatever can get stuffed. Anyone who sounds reasonably cheery, communicates intelligently and keeps it brief (and not a rat-faced benefit fiddler) goes to the top of the list.

Yeah I got rid of a 7ft Columbian Boa on Freecycle, before they changed the rules on pets.I waded through dozens of "hello m8 i want ur snake" mouthbreathers with seemingly no previous interest in snakes, cos it'd be cool innit.Finally found someone who knew what they were talking about, as even though I needed rid I didn't want it ending up as a handbag through lack of care.

[garycox]

I quite like Freecycle,though I think it would be better if they split it up into sections for 'offered' and 'wanted' etc.I've moved a few times recently and it's been good for getting rid of my excess crap. I've got quite a few things like magazines, VHSs, furniture etc from there too.

[Mash]

Feckin' M6 Toll I've been visiting sites around Birmingham/Wolverhampton today and I forgot to take a map book so had to rely as far as possible on sat. nav. In trying to avoid the M6 Toll I ended up going down it three times so spent about 15 quid for around 20 miles travelling. Robbing bastards. The first time I stopped in the services to get some change and came out and ended up going down the wrong exit so I had to go through the toll, back on the motorway the right direction and then through the toll again off the right exit Coming back I strayed off the A5 and ended up back on the blasted thing again ffs. Is it me that has a shit sense of direction or do they deliberately make it hard to avoid?And sat navs are pants too. And modern cars - I think I can work out when I need to put the wipers on myself.Gah!

[mattblack]

Feckin' M6 Toll I've been visiting sites around Birmingham/Wolverhampton today and I forgot to take a map book so had to rely as far as possible on sat. nav. In trying to avoid the M6 Toll I ended up going down it three times so spent about 15 quid for around 20 miles travelling. Robbing bastards. The first time I stopped in the services to get some change and came out and ended up going down the wrong exit so I had to go through the toll, back on the motorway the right direction and then through the toll again off the right exit Coming back I strayed off the A5 and ended up back on the blasted thing again ffs. Is it me that has a shit sense of direction or do they deliberately make it hard to avoid?And sat navs are pants too. And modern cars - I think I can work out when I need to put the wipers on myself.Gah!

Does your sat nav not have an 'avoid toll roads' setting?

[Mr Lobster]

Arrrghhhh

 

Fucking Tesco fucking serve yourstupidfuckingtwattingself. Why do you not employ checkout staff at all before 7am?

 

So this morning I goes to visit the massive emporium of shit for some snacks to consume at work. Buys a drink, a croissant, a newspaper and a sandwich. Scanned it all, bagged it all, pulled out a nice crisp £10, fed it in the machine, collected by handfull of change and off I go. Felt reasonably happy with my lot, even happier when I noticed that the machine had somehow missed off the charge for my sandwich even though I swiped it. Happy days and all that.

 

Only that I'm now sat here at work and realised that I don't have as much change in my pocket as perhaps I should. This is because when the machine says take your change from the slot below it means 'take your COINS', it doesn't tell you that any notes come out of a secret hidden slot that you won't see at six in the morning so I am now down by £5.00.

 

£5.00 that Terry Leahy (or whatever Mr Tesco is called) has probably greedily scooped up and spent on cheap whores*

 

Actually, he probably hasn't but thats not the point. Some scruffy mouth breather probably has my £5 and I am very displeased by that.

[dollywobbler]

Yeah, that's caught a few people out. I tend to lob my goods in my backpack so when I'm crouched down loading up, the machine tends to lob paper money in my face, so I always notice it.I like the self-serve though, because it means you can get out of the place quickly, without having to speak to anyone - though these days, I try to avoid the place as much as possible.

[pompei]

Some kind of reverse cashback?

[pogweasel]

Self serve FRIGGING BOILS MY TITS. "Unexpected item in Bagging Area. Please remove item from bagging area""Please place item in Bagging Area.""Unexpected item in Bagging Area. Please remove item from bagging area""Please place item in Bagging Area.""Unexpected item in Bagging Area. Please remove item from bagging area""Please place item in Bagging Area.""Unexpected item in Bagging Area. Please remove item from bagging area""Please place item in Bagging Area.""Supervisor required. Please wait for assistance"URGH. And all this because I take my own (granny style) shopping bags, like they encourage you to do. I'd rather wait in the queue for the checkout. It's still quicker. And if I'm lucky it will be staffed by some fit college girl with whom I can shamelessly flirt.

[Negative Creep]

Normally I love technology, but self service tills are a complete waste of time. Even worse if you're on your own, as you have to scan one item, pack it, go back and scan another, pack it and so on

[dollywobbler]

Ah, but I've developed a better strategy and I can get through the checkout in no time - after all, who wants to linger in Tesco Metro Peterborough?!Scan everything and while it ponders what to do with the money, lob everything in the bag, which has been nowhere near the bagging point. Doesn't work with loads of items and you can't be too hasty or it'll notice stuff's gone from the bagging area. Choose your moment with care.Co-op in Ramsey is a different kettle of fish. Nicer girls (not difficult) and the self-service checkouts there are rubbish for some reason.

[Negative Creep]

In terms of tillgirls, I find Sainsburys have the nicest ones. The comes Tesco, whilst Asda appears to have a munters only policy

[Guest]

The idea of self-serve checkouts are admirable, I like the idea that social rejects like me can go into a supermarket and buy Scotch eggs without having to deal with anyone. I'm hoping eventually it'll develop into some kind of push-button Scotch egg service that just fires them through a pipe directly into my greasy hands and debits 40p from my account.

 

Once you figure out how the Tesco/Asda self-checkouts work you're OK - the main thing to remember is that it doesn't like you putting your hands anywhere near anything in that area where the bags are, so if you start fiddling around with bags (even the ones provided) for more than a fraction of a second it'll go mental. Best thing is to just to pile everything up onto the metal base, pay and bag it up afterwards.

 

The main issue I have with it is the near-hysterical sounding woman they employed to do the voice of them, she sounds like she's about to either break into tears or suddenly start ranting. It's like being at bloody work.

 

Therefore I propose that you should be able to choose from a selection of shopkeepers from the start.

 

G Barnes, Methley: Bit curt, doesn't instruct you to collect your change, just expects you to take it in silence. Might not give you all of it either.

R Singh, Kirklees: Polite enough, but won't let you get off because he keeps talking to you about your family, cricket, roadworks, etc. Inevitably causes a huge queue.

T Smith, South Elmsall: Bit slack, but won't request someone to come and check the age if you're buying alcohol or fireworks, regardless of how old you actually are.

[Mr Lobster]

Asda. pah. There may be some nice ones. Somewhere. However, my local Asda is staffed by brain donated rejects from the gene pool, the customers are all entirely mouth breathing retards, the sort of people who I would go out of my way to avoid. I would rather hack off my own testicles with nothing but a blunt, rusty cake slice than go in there again.