The grumpy thread

[barrett]

Is that 'Joanna Lovely'* ?

 

 

*My mate's dad has always called Joanna Lumley this, because he's a dirty old man

[Guest]

The unit.

 

I'm sick of the constant shitty squabbles and lack of space. I want to know, right now, why biscuit flid and others are allowed cars bursting out of the seams, and yet the complaints stack up if I dare to park one of mine outside.

 

I'm sick of hearing everything second hand from spineless little turds who delight in stirring shit, and never own up to anything when confronted. Who has actually complained about my cars being outside? Sugar twat says he hasn't, the guys at the Beetle place denied it outright when I asked, so it's very difficult to tell who has the problem, real or imagined, written or implied.

 

I'm sick of having to take five steps to everyone else's one (in baby bootees). I'm sick of being told to 'make an effort' with the landlord and talk to him, and because he's never there when I am, I'm expected to go out of my way and wait until he turns up. The shit stirrers who get all priapic in relaying messages back to me: 'Tom's not happy with you, Tom's looking for you, Tom says you're taking the piss' won't reciprocate and tell the landlord what I'm doing, and I'm still thought of badly even though I've taken steps and sold \ moved stuff, whilst everyone else with the lion's share of space outside refuse to break up or sell their cars because they 'won't get good money for them'. Cheers - where's a third of your rent coming from again? Also, why do I have to be civil to filler and sugar flid again? He spoke to me like a piece of shit over something I didn't even do (and was minor in extremis even if I had). Everyone else would knocked him out cold, but I'm not allowed to get angry because that's 'counter productive'.

 

In short, things have to change, because I am not happy. My other square project is going in a friend's garage in Sale, because I cannot be bothered with the moaning and arse ache that will come with leaving it at the unit. I would stick the 305 in the unit (y'know, my space that I pay for with my money) but it's full of everyone else's crap and I'd have to shunt other cars out of the way if I had the audacity to want to take it out. That's if the bodge artist next door leaves me enough room to do that. Which he won't, because he's a selfish bastard. It must be great spending your days being an aggressive little wanker to others over the slightest imagined infraction and trowelling 928s full of wob, I must try it.

 

Yes, very fair. The place I go to get away from constant mithering and sniping has become the very opposite of everything I intended it to be. A shame. With a few concessions things could be rosy, but because I'm not one of the untouchables fuck all will change, I bet you.

 

I'm spending my weekends on the Amazon instead. It can go straight to Dave and Gray's to get the new floors and chassis leg welded in. I'll do the rest in Conwy.

 

Rant off.

[ashmicro]

Get an SA80 A2 (L85 A2). Shouldn't be hard to find, as the Stabs and RAF Regiment keep leaving them lying around.

[Guest]

Actually, those are great suggestions, but my jack handle will suffice.

[Rocket88]

I don't know if I'd be polishing my "jack handle" on the porch, son.

 

You can end up on a register for that........................seriously though, can you contact your landlord by phone and have a word with him?

[Guest]

can you contact your landlord by phone and have a word with him?

 

Tried that. He never answers. Short of sticking a letter through the box of his static caravan thing with my number on it, I don't know what to do.

 

It doesn't matter anyway, because certain people are ALWAYS right.

[Station]

I'd just move out and make do with a £6 per week lockup until a better one comes up. It seems as though you are getting shafted on all sides.

[RoadworkUK]

Mobile phone companies. Again. Vodafone this time.

 

My contract expired a few months ago, but I'd not got around to sorting it out. Stupid, I know. Anyway, currently paying £35 a month (plus £10 insurance...) and not using anywhere near my included minutes, texts, data etc. All I wanted to do was change the contract to a nice, cheap sim-only contract and kill the insurance. Their website showed a 30 day rolling contract with 100 minutes, 500 texts, 100mb data. Basic. £13. Just what I wanted.

 

Phoned 'em up at work. Opted for the number for "If you're thinking of leaving us". Got through to an Irish chap called Dominic. He asked if I was looking to upgrade my phone. I said no, quite the opposite in fact. I wanted to keep my exsisting phone on a nice, cheap rolling contract so I wouldn't get tied town and could upgrade when I want.

 

Was the fucker having any of that? "What sort of phone are you waiting for?" "No point in going for a 30 day contract, much better to go for a 12 month and pay the difference if you decide to upgrade later" "Etc."

 

I protested.

 

He then told me I could only get the 30 or 90 day contract if I did it online. See you later, I said, ending the 10 minute phone call.

 

Went online, found the £13 contract I had seen. Then I logged in to my account to try and change from my contract to the £13 one. It had gone. The cheapest was £20, with fuckloads of data, minutes etc. No option to slim it all down, very much "YOU NEED ALL THIS SHIT". I don't. My phone is so shit online I don't bother.

 

Phoned them up again on the "So you're thinking of leaving us" hotline. Got through to a man who had no name. Explained the situation, but a few minutes later he said that he only dealt with upgrades and new contracts, I needed to spek to customer service. Eh?

 

Put me through, a very quiet voice at the other end spoke with a pronounced indian accent. I explained my dilemma, he again tried to reason with me that I really ought to, in fact, upgrade my phone and that he would put me through to another department.

 

"No!" I protested. "How hard can it be? I want to change my contract, which has expired, to a cheaper one that you have on the internet. Either that or you can just cancel it and I'll start again somewhere else. Probably a brightly coloured, futuristic network".

 

He then spoke to me in Urdu about th myriad different sim-only deals they had, none of which seemed to be the one I'd seen on the internet. It didn't seem to exsist. He could, though, give me a gigabyte of data for £20. THIS WASN'T WHAT I WANTED.

 

It had now been half an hour. I mentioned getting a PAC code. Suddenly, "Oh, sir, I have found a £13 per month, rolling, 30 day contract with 100 minutes and 500 texts".

 

Four fox ache.

[Timewaster]

can you contact your landlord by phone and have a word with him?

Tried that. He never answers.

 

Stop paying him. He'll get in contact with you then!!

[TimothyClaypole]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250877847552

 

Apparently this was on charge and mysteriously burnt out.

 

I've said I still want it even if it's a lump of molten plastic (I wanted the other bits for my "Retro" JVC GR-DV1 so that the camera wasn't working didn't bother me).

 

If not then this Ebay newbie will be getting a slap for not manning up and realising that starting at 99p is a gamble you don't always win.

[Alexg]

^ Why was he charging a faulty camcorder he was about to post?

[ashmicro]

I wouldn't bother with a mobile contract, PAYG for me. For a £15 quid top up a month I get 500 texts, 500 MB of Internet, and unlimited calls (within reason) to anyone else on o2, and you still get £15 of credit should you not top up in time. As soon as you do top up, it's all back on again, texts, internet etc. I just bought the phone myself, suggested by Trigger's sister, and job jobbed.

[Rover414]

I feel your pain about Vodafone, they're annoying as hell. I'm on PAYG and I noticed recently they have put texts up from 10p to 12p, doesn't sound like a lot but it adds up over the course of a £5 topup. However I have noticed their text packs still contain 70 texts for a fiver (even at the previous 10p it was 50 per top up). There is no point in me topping up with anything besides a text pack now, I still get my 50p per top up to bonus bank and I still get free weekend texts and calls as per a normal top up, so they've made little more on me. Well done Vodafone

[eddyramrod]

Ahhhh, Joanna Lumley, pre-Purdey I do believe. Well found.

 

Lord Sterling, you want to see the local talent where I am! As if driving in Cyprus isn't dangerous enough anyway, then they add in the girls. Holy shit. Even my landlady is X-rated! (And no, I am NOT posting a pic of her, you'll just have to imagine... you pervy bunch! )

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

12p per text is mental. I can send them online for about 3p (3 eurocents + German VAT which I think is 19%) apiece on Voipbuster, and my fifteen quid sim-only contract (suicide telecom) includes 100 of them on top of the minutes and unlimited landline calls.

[Negative Creep]

I feel your pain about Vodafone, they're annoying as hell. I'm on PAYG and I noticed recently they have put texts up from 10p to 12p, doesn't sound like a lot but it adds up over the course of a £5 topup. However I have noticed their text packs still contain 70 texts for a fiver (even at the previous 10p it was 50 per top up). There is no point in me topping up with anything besides a text pack now, I still get my 50p per top up to bonus bank and I still get free weekend texts and calls as per a normal top up, so they've made little more on me. Well done Vodafone

 

 

Has anyone else found Vodafone 3g to be absolute shite lately? Although I have to say I've been on various contracts with them for about 10 years and never had a serious problem

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

eddy, I think Cypriot (as well as Greek) women are way overrated. The fact that they tend to spend a couple of hours in front of the mirror before going out to buy a packet of fags and a couple of steaks doesn't mean they actually look good.

 

Conversely, English women (at least the non-fat ones) tend to look alright but, more often than not, they either have the dress sense of an alcoholic male sociology professor from 1979 or mindlessly follow the latest celebrity fad and look all plastic and fake-tanned.

 

Personally, I'm a fan of the talent in the Czech and Slovak Republics! Of course, Venezuelans and Colombians also look GR9.

[jonathan_dyane]

Tapes are for WINNARS.

 

I removed the CD player from my 190, and fitted my old radio cassette from the 205, which was an excellent 'upgrade'.

 

The buttons were too small and of unnecessary number, and the screen was not only ridiculously bright and distracting in the dark, but it was a smug self satisfied bastard, which taunted me with shit like 'Welcome' when I turned it on, and 'Aiwa CD Tuner Demo' followed by a gloating 'Goodbye' when I turned the fucker off.

 

Anyone want it cheap?

[Rover414]

I feel your pain about Vodafone, they're annoying as hell. I'm on PAYG and I noticed recently they have put texts up from 10p to 12p, doesn't sound like a lot but it adds up over the course of a £5 topup. However I have noticed their text packs still contain 70 texts for a fiver (even at the previous 10p it was 50 per top up). There is no point in me topping up with anything besides a text pack now, I still get my 50p per top up to bonus bank and I still get free weekend texts and calls as per a normal top up, so they've made little more on me. Well done Vodafone

 

 

Has anyone else found Vodafone 3g to be absolute shite lately? Although I have to say I've been on various contracts with them for about 10 years and never had a serious problem

 

I've been with Vodafone PAYG for about 6 years or more now and never had any serious issues but in the past 6 months I've had issues sending texts where sometimes it would take hours to get through, over the past week this has been happening again, Vodafone blame my phone but using my O2 sim (which never gets used) to send a text sends right away, deflect the blame as they usually do though.

[Des]

Eastern European totty FTW. They are, as yet, unspoiled by decadent western values. In the past we had better, but no more. I live in Watford, used to be a horny tart centre of excellence, couldn't walk the high street without getting wood like the arse of a Moggie Traveller. No more. Near saturation of gnarly fat munters everywhere, whose vocabulary consists of the words 'basically,' 'like,' and 'course I'll have facking fries wiv it.' Lazy, greedy, miserable and zero self respect, a recipe for mingdom.

[RedSparrow]

Eastern European totty FTW. They are, as yet, unspoiled by decadent western values. In the past we had better, but no more. I live in Watford, used to be a horny tart centre of excellence, couldn't walk the high street without getting wood like the arse of a Moggie Traveller. No more. Near saturation of gnarly fat munters everywhere, whose vocabulary consists of the words 'basically,' 'like,' and 'course I'll have facking fries wiv it.' Lazy, greedy, miserable and zero self respect, a recipe for mingdom.

 

This x1000101

 

Couldn't have put it better myself.

[eddyramrod]

It's like this, Ed. You either post some pics of your landlady or I am joining your CV chat room.

 

In order to join, you have to be approved by a Moderator, Norm. There will be no pics of Elena for the simple reason that I've never shot one! And since I'm asking her to rebuild the swimming pool, after negotiating 25% off the rent before we signed up, I don't think it's fair to ask her to pose too.

 

Cypriot women in general, Luxo? Maybe; I've seen enough that give dogs a bad name, but there are enough jewels too. You haven't seen Maria at the insurance office. Makes you want to go out and buy another car, just so you can watch her count your money!

 

Des, your assessment of Watford would stand equally well for most UK towns. Certainly the ones I've been in.

[ashmicro]

Eastern European totty FTW. They are, as yet, unspoiled by decadent western values. In the past we had better, but no more. I live in Watford, used to be a horny tart centre of excellence, couldn't walk the high street without getting wood like the arse of a Moggie Traveller. No more. Near saturation of gnarly fat munters everywhere, whose vocabulary consists of the words 'basically,' 'like,' and 'course I'll have facking fries wiv it.' Lazy, greedy, miserable and zero self respect, a recipe for mingdom.

 

 

While I'd agree that some Eastern European birds are hot stuff, I'd always have a nagging thought that the really fit ones might have a Russian-mafia type boyfriend/pimp who'd cut me into tiny pieces if I didn't give him 10 grand. Still, at least with my accent I'd have the option of pretending to be in the IRA.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Eastern European totty FTW. They are, as yet, unspoiled by decadent western values. In the past we had better, but no more. I live in Watford, used to be a horny tart centre of excellence, couldn't walk the high street without getting wood like the arse of a Moggie Traveller. No more. Near saturation of gnarly fat munters everywhere, whose vocabulary consists of the words 'basically,' 'like,' and 'course I'll have facking fries wiv it.' Lazy, greedy, miserable and zero self respect, a recipe for mingdom.

 

 

While I'd agree that some Eastern European birds are hot stuff, I'd always have a nagging thought that the really fit ones might have a Russian-mafia type boyfriend/pimp who'd cut me into tiny pieces if I didn't give him 10 grand. Still, at least with my accent I'd have the option of pretending to be in the IRA.

 

That's why you go to quaint places like Czech Republic and Poland. Russia, while very safe for the average visitor or resident, is a bit rough if you are unfortunate enough to find yourself up against the baddies.

[Guest]

Eastern European totty FTW. They are, as yet, unspoiled by decadent western values. In the past we had better, but no more. I live in Watford, used to be a horny tart centre of excellence, couldn't walk the high street without getting wood like the arse of a Moggie Traveller. No more. Near saturation of gnarly fat munters everywhere, whose vocabulary consists of the words 'basically,' 'like,' and 'course I'll have facking fries wiv it.' Lazy, greedy, miserable and zero self respect, a recipe for mingdom.

 

 

While I'd agree that some Eastern European birds are hot stuff, I'd always have a nagging thought that the really fit ones might have a Russian-mafia type boyfriend/pimp who'd cut me into tiny pieces if I didn't give him 10 grand. Still, at least with my accent I'd have the option of pretending to be in the IRA.

 

'Well, it is a very secretive organisation. We could be members and not know.'

 

[eddyramrod]

While I'd agree that some Eastern European birds are hot stuff, I'd always have a nagging thought that the really fit ones might have a Russian-mafia type boyfriend/pimp who'd cut me into tiny pieces if I didn't give him 10 grand. Still, at least with my accent I'd have the option of pretending to be in the IRA.

 

Guaranteed! However, as you say, at least you have an exit. Not all of us are so blessed...

[MrDuke]

Not sure quite what/who I'm moaning about here, but meh.

Despite always making disparaging remarks about my job, I actually could do a lot worse: I get on well with colleagues, there are no real tossers to deal with, and the work keeps you on your toes. Just over 3 months ago, I walked out of the office in the middle of the afternoon, telling them that I didn't feel well. I didn't tell them about the cold sweats, trembling hands, headrushes, violent mood swings, and inability to look at anyone's face. I haven't been back since.

I've had 'issues' for several years, and a long period of professional help left me fully dependant on some quite hard-core medication, which has done a good job of preventing me from behaving like a completely loose cannon. Unfortunately, it now seems that wasn't the answer, as I've spent most of the past 3 months sitting indoors like a cabbage. I can go shopping for short periods (as long as MrsDuke comes with me), I can meet up with one or two friends, but the thought of walking back into an office makes me feel physically sick. Just driving past the place puts a huge knot in my gut.

They'll keep me on full pay for another 3 months, then they can either halve the money or cut me loose. I have no real desire to spend the next few years 'on the sick', and that's not really an option anyway as MrsDuke has (other) major health issues too and can't work full-time. I'd happily attempt a job with minimal social contact, but have yet to find one that I'm qualified to do. I'm long past the point of giving a toss about the money.

I'll be waiting at least 6 months to see another specialist (the local health board is still trying to employ one), my GP doesn't believe I have any real problems anyway, and I'm trying not to picture spending the next few years as a fat, balding misfit stuck in his own house.

More than anything, I REALLY F**KING WANT a nice shiny piece of shite. That Yugo from the other week would do. Or NC's Bluey. But I can't spend money keeping 2 cars on the road when I don't know if I'll be earning anything by the new year.

Anyway, regardless of whether anyone reads my pathetic whinges, it actually feels better having written it down. So there.

 

 

tl:dr:

Apparently I'm a mentalist who can't handle working with people, and it's sh1t. Also, I want an interesting car. Bo11ocks and toss-biscuits.

[eddyramrod]

my GP doesn't believe I have any real problems anyway,

You need a new GP, immediately!

Apparently I'm a mentalist who can't handle working with people, and it's sh1t. Also, I want an interesting car.

Been there. I know how you feel; wouldn't presume to say "exactly" as we all have different issues, but it sounds like you've been lucky with work and wife, and unlucky with GP. I had it the other way round...

Patience is the key. You have to accept that some things will change without your input, and may happen quite slowly. Try not to worry (easier said, I know). Every day of survival is an achievement, remember that when you're going to bed. When you get up: hey look, you got through another night! Good work! I'm sure you can see how a week of that will be good for your self-esteem, and it'll make a difference to life in general.

If money isn't an issue, how about going after a driving job? It's poorly-paid and stressful, but mostly you'll be on your own, which might be a good thing. I know it was for me, quite a lot. You soon learn to laugh at yourself for shouting obscenities through the windscreen...

 

Good luck.

[Des]

More than anything, I REALLY F**KING WANT a nice shiny piece of shite

 

Bugger the GP, you've just prescribed your own medicine there.

 

I can relate to a fair bit of what your saying, I regularly have to 'check' myself and question whether I'm turning into some kind of an arsehole, (not saying that's what you are) but Jesus dogbuggering Christ you have to be some kind of a saint to not get seriously pissed off with the mouth breathing sub human trash that's polluted the country in recent years. I've wondered if I've grown impatient, intolerant or just bloody minded, but I haven't. Never in history has the patience of the right-minded been so tested. It's not possible to go more than an hour without something causing annoyance, it all builds up and gets you down, between loud twats inane jabbering into phones, ignorant morons getting in your way on roads, pavements, shops, everywhere. any and every dealing with any commercial concern, authorities, the police, the dvla, NHS, councils, chuggers, smelly dogbreath twunts who don't wash, etc. etc. it's like a never ending stream of insult your intelligence scamming corrupt thieving lying noisy stinking filthy bastards assulting your every sense from every direction.

 

Get that shiny shite, it's an emergency, concentrate on getting yourself better by treating it as you would an illness, that shiny shite is a distraction, a therapy and a cause and if you should wind up completely fixated with it at least you're in a better place. Old shite can throw up plenty of frustration, but here's where you can fix it and the brain is working the way it's wired to. Everyday frustration can't be fixed, backs up and leads to despair and rage.

That deal with the sick pay is good, but the time will pass in a flash, you do need to get back to work, this recession thing is a big scam and there's a whole load of nastiness to come, it's important to keep your head out of the noose as it's going to get real bad.

 

The barrage of shit we encounter in life dwells on our minds and needs displacing with thoughts of shite.

 

Might I suggest a Daf? Pure medicine.

[warren t claim]

^^Post of the summer, Des, post of the summer. In the running for post of the year...

 

I agree. This is the true state of our once proud nation.