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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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New POD Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

New POD

Posted
Posted

Cars in their natural habitat cont'd...

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Classic-Citroen-ax-/302044534864

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

Expect V5C needing to be applied for.

 

Reading the description which has NO punctuation I'd have to agree. Looking at the location, which looks like Woolton, or Crosby or somewhere half posh, I'd have to get stroppy and ask you to avoid stereotyping.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Rover-418-estate-SLD-turbo-1996-not-many-left-needs-work-for-mot-/112099201241?hash=item1a19a210d9:g:kYMAAOSw0UdXtHx2

 

'I've found a hole in my trainer big enough to put my fingers through. One complaint from her and now I'm banned from the gym.'

 

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

New POD Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

New POD

Posted
Posted

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/mini-one-convertible-low-miles-cheap-tax-drives-perfect-/262582046282?hash=item3d231c0e4a:g:WvAAAOSw-itXtHxi

 

this could cause me to go over "to the dark side"

 

but when did these get this cheap?

 

or is this just a fucked one?

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

It's a ONE. which is less powerful,

It's a convertible, which is less practical, and more to insure.

It's got 15 inch wheels, and cloth interior.

It's 11 years old

It's a mk1 and we are up to mk3 (like buying a used Samsung galaxy ace off gumtree and not renting an S7, from carpearwhorehouse)

 

The Bank base rate means that anyone with a job, can afford a new(er) one on easy credit

MarvinsMom Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

MarvinsMom

Posted
Posted

It's a ONE. which is less powerful,

It's a convertible, which is less practical, and more to insure.

It's got 15 inch wheels, and cloth interior.

It's 11 years old

It's a mk1 and we are up to mk3 (like buying a used Samsung galaxy ace off gumtree and not renting an S7, from carpearwhorehouse)

 

The Bank base rate means that anyone with a job, can afford a new(er) one on easy credit

 

many of these reasons make it all the more appealing.....

New POD Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

New POD

Posted
Posted

many of these reasons make it all the more appealing.....

 

But not to the demographic who originally bought them.

 

And there isn't really a demographic of people who want to buy them.  That said a generation one 3 door, of whichever engine version, (one, cooper or S) is a great car, which can only be improved by being cheaper.

Ghosty Rank: Talbot Tagora

Ghosty

Posted
Posted

many of these reasons make it all the more appealing.....

 

Early Binis are cheap. Can recommend, but you have to buy a manual one. Auto is a grenade-happy CVT.

purplebargeken Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

purplebargeken

Posted
Posted

Doesn't look too foul. Those wheels remind me of something....

 

People, advertise your car by all means but clean the fucker out! Doesn't take much and it looks a whole lot better.

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

What a bellend the size of Canada.

Then again, what would I do the moment I have a V12 Jag?

 

Note, however, that any pistonheaded Golf can do the very same thing a full 2.0 OMGMPH faster completely unscathed.

  • strangeangel, AMC Rebel, richardthestag and 1 other
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wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted

This is cheap for a 540i.  Especially when it's a

 

 

very solid car.

Needs a few things sorted to pass mot.

 

 

Well let's see shall we.

 

 

17/05/2016 Fail 

 

Refusal Notices

 

    Parking brake: efficiency below requirements (3.7.b.7)
    Supplementary restraint system warning lamp indicates a fault (5.4.2)
    Hazard warning lamps inoperative (1.4.b.1b)
    Direction indicators not working (1.4.a.2c)
    Front windscreen washer provides insufficient washer liquid (8.2.3)
    Nearside front windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)
    Offside front windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)
    Nearside front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.a.3b)
    Offside front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.a.3b)
    Rear registration plate lamp not working (1.1.c.1d)
    Nearside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a)
    Offside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a)
    Nearside headlamp not working on main beam (1.7.5a)
    Offside headlamp not working on main beam (1.7.5a)
    Nearside rear tyre has a lump, caused by separation or partial failure of its structure out of shape (4.1.d.1b)
    Offside rear fog lamp not working (1.3.2b)
    Exhaust emissions carbon monoxide content at idle excessive (7.3.d.4)
    Exhaust emissions carbon monoxide content after 2nd fast idle excessive (7.3.d.3)
    Exhaust emissions lambda reading after 2nd fast idle outside specified limits (7.3.d.3)
    Nearside rear sub-frame has excessive play in a pin/bearing (2.4.g.2)
    Offside rear sub-frame has excessive play in a pin/bush (2.4.g.2)
    Offside rear brake pipe excessively corroded (3.6.b.2c)
    Front brake pad(s) less than 1.5 mm thick (3.5.1g)

 

 

Aye, that's "a few things" alright.

 

Presumably (what sounds like) a total absence of any functioning lights on an E39 is going to be down to the failure of some needlessly complicated (and doubtless coded to the car) control module or other?

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

  • Disco Fever, Laseraligningfoofooflanges, Conrad D. Conelrad and 2 others
  • Like 5
wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted

Then again, what would I do the moment I have a V12 Jag?

Indeed.  He's only 23mph short of what I had out of my V12 Jag* - although in my defence I was 19 and stupid(er) at the time.  Thankfully by the time Mr. Plod managed to get a fix on me I'd slowed down somewhat - still lost my licence though,

 

 

 

 

 

*it was a Daimler Double 6, if we're being pedantic.

  • Coprolalia, richardthestag, NorfolkNWeigh and 4 others
  • Like 7
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

This is cheap for a 540i.  Especially when it's a

 

 

 

Well let's see shall we.

 

 

17/05/2016 Fail 

 

Refusal Notices

 

    Parking brake: efficiency below requirements (3.7.b.7)

    Supplementary restraint system warning lamp indicates a fault (5.4.2)

    Hazard warning lamps inoperative (1.4.b.1b)

    Direction indicators not working (1.4.a.2c)

    Front windscreen washer provides insufficient washer liquid (8.2.3)

    Nearside front windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)

    Offside front windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)

    Nearside front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.a.3b)

    Offside front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.a.3b)

    Rear registration plate lamp not working (1.1.c.1d)

    Nearside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a)

    Offside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a)

    Nearside headlamp not working on main beam (1.7.5a)

    Offside headlamp not working on main beam (1.7.5a)

    Nearside rear tyre has a lump, caused by separation or partial failure of its structure out of shape (4.1.d.1b)

    Offside rear fog lamp not working (1.3.2b)

    Exhaust emissions carbon monoxide content at idle excessive (7.3.d.4)

    Exhaust emissions carbon monoxide content after 2nd fast idle excessive (7.3.d.3)

    Exhaust emissions lambda reading after 2nd fast idle outside specified limits (7.3.d.3)

    Nearside rear sub-frame has excessive play in a pin/bearing (2.4.g.2)

    Offside rear sub-frame has excessive play in a pin/bush (2.4.g.2)

    Offside rear brake pipe excessively corroded (3.6.b.2c)

    Front brake pad(s) less than 1.5 mm thick (3.5.1g)

 

 

Aye, that's "a few things" alright.

 

Presumably (what sounds like) a total absence of any functioning lights on an E39 is going to be down to the failure of some needlessly complicated (and doubtless coded to the car) control module or other?

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

So it needs a healthy kick in the fusebox, two wiper blades, a rubber bush, new sparking plugs, a brake pipe being wire brushed, a £5.37 set of front brake pads and a squirt of WD40 on the handbrake shiz. Which is weird, considering it's German and thus soooo gooood that it'll last forever and never break.

 

Would a Rover P6 need just that, it'd be classed as hopeless English tosh that never was any good to begin with.

Don't you ever buy one.

  • AMC Rebel and timolloyd
  • Like 2
Ghosty Rank: Talbot Tagora

Ghosty

Posted
Posted

There is no evidence of the passenger headlight's existence - for all you know it might not even have one. 

 

also note the dash warning 'selflevel susp. inact...'

  • AMC Rebel and Junkman
  • Like 2
Supernaut Rank: Talbot Tagora

Supernaut

Posted
Posted

Presumably (what sounds like) a total absence of any functioning lights on an E39 is going to be down to the failure of some needlessly complicated (and doubtless coded to the car) control module or other?

Correct. Somebody on another forum I used to frequent had an Alpina B10 (based on the E39) and its headlights went all funny, even switching themselves on in the middle of the night. It had a needlessly complex headlight control unit that did indeed require coding to the car. What's wrong with just a switch / relay, BMW? Hmm?

spike60 Rank: Renault 16

spike60

Posted
Posted

Correct. Somebody on another forum I used to frequent had an Alpina B10 (based on the E39) and its headlights went all funny, even switching themselves on in the middle of the night. It had a needlessly complex headlight control unit that did indeed require coding to the car. What's wrong with just a switch / relay, BMW? Hmm?

Been there a little with this one. IIRC the coding is just to enter the mileage as it is stored in the light ECU, dash and engine ECU and if they don't all sing the same song you get a little red light next to the display to indicate it may have been tampered with.

Ours was powering up the passenger side main beam alll the time even when parked, there is a repair involving a diode I think but I bodged it putting a relay in the bulb wiring switched from the other side.

spike60 Rank: Renault 16

spike60

Posted
Posted

This is cheap for a 540i.  Especially when it's a

 

 

 

Well let's see shall we.

 

 

17/05/2016 Fail 

 

Refusal Notices

 

    Parking brake: efficiency below requirements (3.7.b.7)

    Supplementary restraint system warning lamp indicates a fault (5.4.2)

    Hazard warning lamps inoperative (1.4.b.1b)

    Direction indicators not working (1.4.a.2c)

    Front windscreen washer provides insufficient washer liquid (8.2.3)

    Nearside front windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)

    Offside front windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)

    Nearside front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.a.3b)

    Offside front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.a.3b)

    Rear registration plate lamp not working (1.1.c.1d)

    Nearside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a)

    Offside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a)

    Nearside headlamp not working on main beam (1.7.5a)

    Offside headlamp not working on main beam (1.7.5a)

    Nearside rear tyre has a lump, caused by separation or partial failure of its structure out of shape (4.1.d.1b)

    Offside rear fog lamp not working (1.3.2b)

    Exhaust emissions carbon monoxide content at idle excessive (7.3.d.4)

    Exhaust emissions carbon monoxide content after 2nd fast idle excessive (7.3.d.3)

    Exhaust emissions lambda reading after 2nd fast idle outside specified limits (7.3.d.3)

    Nearside rear sub-frame has excessive play in a pin/bearing (2.4.g.2)

    Offside rear sub-frame has excessive play in a pin/bush (2.4.g.2)

    Offside rear brake pipe excessively corroded (3.6.b.2c)

    Front brake pad(s) less than 1.5 mm thick (3.5.1g)

 

 

Aye, that's "a few things" alright.

 

Presumably (what sounds like) a total absence of any functioning lights on an E39 is going to be down to the failure of some needlessly complicated (and doubtless coded to the car) control module or other?

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

Theres's some money in the repairs, if it needs main subframe bushes they run about £140 and need a puller, air suspension compressors looked dear when I last looked and all the other bits will add up. Mebby a nice car at the end if you keen and don't mind a project. I have a 530d Touring and some of that looks familiar.....

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