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Futuramic's saloon car fan club. Join if you like.....


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Posted

I have reached the point in life where it has become desirable to run my own fan club, this one has a slight difference in that I am promoting total inertia amongst members. This club will stand for very little and do practically nothing, however it will be free to join and open to all Autoshiters.

 

Saloons are dying! The major manufacturers are killing them off in favour of dull hatchbacks and Multi Purpose vans. I can see the reasoning behind this as it is quite often desirable to be able to carry things in a car as well as a few people.

 

The formal saloon, by which I mean a car with a dirty great bulkhead separating the passenger compartment and luggage bit, is almost completely useless in the modern world. Long or unusually shaped loads are a big no no. In fact the only real things that fit in the boot are flat. Like suitcases or dead bodies. I digress.

 

Anyway this very fact places the saloon at the top of the autoshite tree, an outmoded vehicle that has no place as a part of the dynamic family that does "activities". We love them for this.

 

Everyone knows that a saloon handles better, the extra rigidity over the back axle prevents body distortion through the corners (no really). For this reason they are also good, lost room for dogs adds up to extra fun for the driver.

 

I have not yet mentioned the sheer joy of opening the boot. One is able to re-enact the famous scene from "Goodfellas" every time some shopping is put into a saloon. This is better at night.

 

Anyway I feel that it is time for the cheap metal owning collective to join together in support of the saloon and save it from extinction. One way to register love is to join this club. If the government ever makes it illegal to own or drive a saloon then we can have a protest.

 

The club rules are: ordinary membership is for those who currently own a different type of vehicle (but secretly wish it had the style and dynamic prowess of a three box car). Gold members are those who already have, have had, or are looking to buy a saloon. Like me.

 

Come on, everybody has a tiny part of themselves that wishes they could sacrifice practicality for the devil may care looks of a saloon. I think the style of car deserves much support to prevent extinction.

 

 

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Here is a saloon for a point of reference.

 

I know that I've always wanted one. I've had hatchbacks, but they never felt the same.

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I'll join.

 

Here's mine.....

 

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Only without the plumes of smoke out the back... :shock::D:shock:

 

 

And my old saloon..

 

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does this one count? With two impractical boots...

 

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:lol:

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I drive my saloon every day. Its my first ever!

It's annoying not having a rear wiper though...

 

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No pictures, but there's my lovely white Sapphire ex Hire car!

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ME...ME...ME.Sierra saphireThe Pig ( see sig )4X Cortinas :D

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Saloons are the impractical way forward, I love mine

 

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I do lament the lack of a rear wash wipe though. Which modern-ish saloon is it that has a RWW?

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Does this count?

 

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Technically termed a coupe, but still 3 boxes

Less doors, less practical!

That said, it does have the optional 'long load carrying' device (sunroof).

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sadly i dont own a saloon any more but my last one would of been perfect :)

 

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Gold Membership FTW!

 

My 'modern' car is a 2004 Seat Toledo 20V Turbo and I utterly love it. Fast, cheap, blends nicely into the background and I think it's quite good looking personally.

 

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Got one!

 

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I would have another J-saloon if I had the money, the smaller the better. I think this is the ultimate in useless saloon land:

 

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Saloons are the impractical way forward, I love mineI do lament the lack of a rear wash wipe though. Which modern-ish saloon is it that has a RWW?

There have been a few. Peugeot 306, late Escort/Orion and Mazda 323 spring to mind. I'm sure some Subarus had one too.Saloons normally only get surface water though. Most estates and hatchbacks NEED a RWW because they suck road dirt onto the back window.
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I'm in!

 

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Surely the American's won't give this worthy cause up without a big fight. They arethe Saloon (Sedan) masters after all. Or are they slowly being forced into the hatchback way of thinking too? No good if you get thwacked on the head with your moonshine when performing an emergency stop.

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ME! I'm in! How many do you want? Is there a Platinum membership? :lol:

 

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and does this count?

 

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Yup, I’m in with the Laurel (I’ll unearth a piccy later). For a biggish car the boot is really quite small, for added impracticality. Had a fair few in the past too, though the Bluebird I sold earlier this year was one of those sneaky ones with a fold-down rear seat so that long, flat objects could be squeezed in.On the subject of RWW on 3-box cars, my old 240K GT had that feature.Very timely thread actually, as only yesterday I was looking out of the window at a Mondeo Mk3 parked across the road and was surprised to see it was a saloon. I know they exist, just don’t often see them. It got me pondering over this very subject. Funny thing is, ever since we’ve had the notchback 5dr bodystyle (Escort, Sierra etc) and 4dr saloons have become ever more swoopy the two are increasingly hard to tell apart.I was admiring a Toledo yesterday, always thought they were a good-looker.

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This will be my favourite club, gold membership for me with these two

 

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406s had rear wipers for the first year or so, too.

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406s had rear wipers for the first year or so, too.

Why would they drop a useful feature like that?
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I saw loads of these things and their Hyundai counterparts in Ireland. What is the point in them? :?

 

Some small saloons are pretty useful though, the Peugeot 306 Sedan for example has a cavernous load area, I'd prefer one over the hatchback.

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I saw loads of these things and their Hyundai counterparts in Ireland. What is the point in them? :?

 

Some small saloons are pretty useful though, the Peugeot 306 Sedan for example has a cavernous load area, I'd prefer one over the hatchback.

The Irish do seem to prefer saloons. Also I discovered it is the place where the majority of all those Avensis (Avensi?) made in Derbyshire end up - they are the most popular taxi in Dublin.

 

I do like saloons, thought about getting a Mondeo Mk3 one but opted for the hatchback instead, for very boring reasons (practicality and ease of resale).

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and does this count?

 

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no!
Fair enough, I am still in though!
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100% agree Futuramic, I absolutely love 3-box saloons, they're my favourite car design by far. If I had to have a hatchback it'd be a Daihatsu Applause because at least they still look like one.

 

There's definitely something cool about having a proper boot to open. One time I had to open the boot of the Galant in Vicsmith's presence, he found it hilarious that there was all these "suspicious" cardboard boxes concealed within the boot. If I had a hatchback I doubt it would have been as funny, I would have just been a bit of a scruffy sod instead of a super-cool gangster sort.

 

Here's my crocks anyway.

 

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Mmm, Galant saloon for work.

 

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Charmant for fun days out.

 

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Stanza saloon, near-extinct compared to the 5-door hatchback.

 

Here's some other favourites.

 

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Hyundai XG30, ever-closer to my price bracket.

 

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Daewoo Espero, style and class! Still waiting for a really nice top-spec one to hoard away.

 

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Fiat Regata, ideal for pretending to be Clark Griswold in European Vacation.

 

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Dodge Monaco stacklight, even the most drab film can be brightened up with these boys.

 

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Chevrolet Epica, can't wait for these to be worthless.

 

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Mitsubishi Galant "angry face".

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Mitsubishi Galant "angry face".

I still want one of these last of the line (for Europe) Galants. Always thought they were very good looking, probably always will. There is a VR4 saloon in black in my fantasy garage.

 

Some will say that 2 yrs ago when I had a heart vs head moment to go for one of these or my Alfa, I'd still be happily motoring away in it if I'd gone with the Galant...

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Daewoo Espero, style and class! Still waiting for a really nice top-spec one to hoard away.

 

I always assumed the Espero was a stubby-booted hatchback!

 

Therefore I shall award myself an epic shite

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HA!!!!!!!!!

 

I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF YOUR SALOON CLUB!!!!1!!!!! MOWAAHHAHAH!*

 

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*I really ought to take a better picture when its stopped raining, looks so much nicer now :oops:

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What about things-that-should-have-been-a-hatchback-but-instead-got-lumbered-with daft-boot-apertures....???

 

e.g.

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Though at least the 127 & Princess (Ambassador) did later get the hatches they should have had from day 1.

The Allegro was just a total blunder, allegedly re-hashed to a saloon late on so as not to tread on the Maxi's toes. WHY!?!

BL idiots.

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Yes, I was thinking, is it cheating if you have one of those cars that's normally a hatch but you've got it as a saloon, 127, GS, MkI Astra, MKI Passat, Alfasud etc

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My definite club contender

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Hideously impractical saloon, but not three box

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Technically a saloon, but incredibly practical and not really in the spirit of things.

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Saloons blow major league goat pipe, give me a hatchback or an estate any day! Not including 929 hardtops as they are sort of not a saloon.Saloons should all go back to the 1930's when they were last relevant. Lifestyle vehicles it where its at now, for carrying surfboards, piles of yellow pages, animal carcasses etc

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