Salong de Paree 2018 - Your Future Shite Is Our Concern

[Junkman]

It's deliberately taking place right after the Oktoberfest, since you'll need a healthy dose of gallon distemper to bear it.
 
 
 
Aldi will unveil the same old shit they've built the past 30 years without any changes:
 


 
The new Kia FTP:
 

 
 
Toyota brings back the Corolla:
 

 
 
A new Z4 that looks older than the old Z4:
 

 
 
Skoda Kojak, or Kodak. It wasn't photographed with the latter, though:
 

 
 
There will be a Lexus LC Yellow Edition which is a Lexus LC painted piss yellow for the ultimate piss take:
 

 
 
 
In a similar vein there will be a Skoda Karaoke, or Karrot, but they didn't dare paint it orange:
 

 
 
 
The same car in the colour suitable for armed alcoholics that walk through the forest to the pub is called Scout:
 

 
 
 
The same car built by Suzuki is called Viagra:
 

 
 
 
 
Suzuki will also make a scale model of the G-Wagen:
 

 
 
 
A Renner Markle with a few horsepowers:
 

 
 
They'll also launch a lorry named after a state no Renault ever managed to turn over in:
 




Ssangyong's styling department continues to deliver:

 

 
 
 

Concept cars will include a Shitrun for people who can't stand each other:
 

 

 

 

It.

Is.

Dire.

[Asimo]

World needs a scrappage scheme for new cars.

This would encourage the use and repair of our limited stocks of proper motors.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

More like Schlong de Paree…..

[Supernaut]

Hey, that's a bit harsh.

 

The Suzuki Jimny looks quite nice. The rest of that dross can get in the fucking sea though.

[danthecapriman]

Good god my eyes. What the fuck happened to styling!?

The more time passes the more I love old cars.

[Junkman]

All that newfangled stuff is so mercilessly terrible that I rather have no car at all.

And if the looks weren't enough, just imagine what patronising shits these heaps are.

[Lacquer Peel]

All that newfangled stuff is so mercilessly terrible that I rather have no car at all.

And if the looks weren't enough, just imagine what patronising shits these heaps are.

WARNING, I HAVE DETECTED NEARLY A CRASH! (car slams on brakes)

 

That's my experience of the newest car I've driven, appalling shit. I'm not an aggressive driver but the algorithm decided I was going to crash into a car because I didn't slow down when it wanted me to.

[hairnet]

jimny ftw

 

want.

 

now.

 

how much.

 

the rest can FRO

[DSdriver]

Does that DS have two steering wheels so you can go indoors if it starts raining. It can't possibly be for two people, who would want to be a passenger in that?

[MorrisItalSLX]

Toyota brings back the Corolla? They never stopped making it?

 

That Jimny looks dinky and fun, about time Suzuki replaced the 20 year old current model!

 

Also, The back end on that Ssangyong looks out of proportion, but I suspect that that's the least of its problems.

[fatharris]

Love the look of the new Jimny, would happily have one

[Lacquer Peel]

 

 

Toyota brings back the Corolla? They never stopped making it?

The Auris replaced it in Europe.